To forgive is first and most of all for the good of ourselves

Greetings!

Recently someone used the key words 'not all mothers love their children', and stumbled onto my post Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers who love and nurture their children published on May 8, 2011.  Since I knew very little about the computer and the internet, I found it interesting as how this could have happened.

Let me share with you a story.  I had been quite sensitive to people's emotions ever since I was small.  When I looked into people's eyes, sometimes I could sense their deep hidden pain even though outwardly they seemed to be happy.  I had no idea what were the causes of their pain.  Sometimes I was moved to keep them in my prayers for nights hoping that their pain would be released.  This story was such a case.

One day while I was with the circle, a woman walked in.  Immediately, I sensed her deep sadness within.  She did not come often.  The second time we met, she shared with us an experience in order to help another friend.  We were all touched by her gentle and caring words.  She had definitely overcome that experience with grace.  I thought her pain was resolved.  However, as we hugged and said goodbye, I felt her intense pain again.  (It was a knowing.  I did not feel any discomfort.)  At night, I prayed with all my heart that her pain be released.  

Two weeks later, she came again.  She told us about her day.  In my heart, I prayed for healing.  Then she started talking about her mother.

Her mother called her a few days ago because her car had broken down.  She picked up her mother and took her back to her house.  While she was growing up, her mother's cruel, unloving words and behavior had caused her lots of pain, fear, and guilt.  On that day, our friend wanted to put the past behind her because she had been on the spiritual path for some years.  So for the first time in their lives, the daughter and mother tried to connect with one another.

As I listened, my heart was filled with love and compassion.  Our friend continued to tell us what her mother often said and did when she was a small girl.  Suddenly, I opened my mouth and said: "XXXX, forgive your mother.  When your mother was little, she was rejected by her own mother.  She never felt loved as a child.  So she did not know how to love as a mother."

Hearing that, my friend burst into tears.  When she was small, her mother had told her stories after stories how her own mother had rejected her.  The grandmother only loved the son, and never showed any affection towards the daughter (our friend's mother).  With this remembrance, my friend forgave her mother, and was able to release her pain.  She rose from her chair and gave me a hug.  I could feel the lightness in our hearts.  Indeed, when one was healed all was healed.  

I do not mean that the same applies to other cases where the mothers do not love as a mother should.  No, every story is unique.  However, we all deserve to be happy.  When we hold onto feelings of pain, anger, guilt or shame, we can't be happy or at peace.  The importance of forgiving is first and most of all for the good of ourselves.  When we let go or forgive, we allow grace to come into our life to heal whatever needs to be healed.  Sometimes it takes time for healing to occur.  However, when we truthfully desire and ask, God (or Love) is forever on our side.

Love and Peace,
Q of D