My dear mother moved on from this physical realm about 27 years ago. She still lives in my heart. I know she is pretty much aware of what is going on in my life.
In her presence, I knew love. She treated others with kindness and gave generously with whatever she had. In her gentleness, I saw strength. In our culture and during her time, my mother did not carry the word 'love' on her lips as most modern parents did. However, her life was / is love. While I was growing up, I heard many of my friends complained that life was boring. They longed for someone or something to make them feel better. By then, life was not boring to me for I lived in the loving presence of my mother.
After my mother moved on, I felt part of me died. For 3 years, I cried whenever I thought of her. I dreamed of her often. In the dreams, she was kind and gentle just as when she was alive. However, upon waking up, I would cry and cry for I missed her physical presence. One morning, this thought came to me as I woke up -
how sad it would be for my mother to see me like that;
she loves me, and would not want me to feel sad all the time;
I am a mother, and my sons are my priority now.
With this realization, I changed.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
The Story of the Windup Musical Santa Head
My mother used to send toys and clothes to our sons. One of the toys was a windup musical Santa head which we still had over the years. In the second half of 2003, the restaurant business was getting worse and worse. Even though by then I had come to know my guides and angels, I was still overwhelmed by the situation. One night (10/20/03), my husband and I were sitting in the living room. Suddenly, the music of the Santa head came on. We looked at each other. The toy was on a desk, and nobody had touched it! My husband said: "Your Mom is here." I walked over to the Santa head. I held it with both of my hands. Tears filled my eyes. "Mom, are you really here? I love you." I felt my Mom was telling me things were looking up from now on. However, I doubted if that was my imagination. So I unwound the toy completely to make sure if ever the music came on again, it was truly a sign.
In the morning of 11/3/03, I walked into the living room. The Santa head music came on for a very short second! Then the phone rang. It was for my older son. He was asked to go for a job interview. He worked in a store as a cashier. He had graduated from a university for quite some time, but could not find a good job due to the slow economy. Hearing the music, my heart was filled with hope. I prayed for Mom to enter my dream that night as a confirmation, and she did.
In the morning of 11/3/03, I walked into the living room. The Santa head music came on for a very short second! Then the phone rang. It was for my older son. He was asked to go for a job interview. He worked in a store as a cashier. He had graduated from a university for quite some time, but could not find a good job due to the slow economy. Hearing the music, my heart was filled with hope. I prayed for Mom to enter my dream that night as a confirmation, and she did.
During the early hours of 11/10/03, I talked to God. When I prayed, I always turned off the light and closed my eyes. However, this night I was in a playful mood. I said: "God, can I talk to you tonight with my eyes open?" I smiled and looked around waiting for God's answer. Suddenly, I saw the VCR green light blink 6 - 7 times! "It cannot be! There is a tape inside. The time programming of the VCR is on!" I thought. Then it stopped blinking. I was amazed. I put on my eyeglasses. I said the same words again (i.e. God can I ...) In a short while, I saw the green light blink again! I tried for a 3rd time, but it did not blink.
In the morning, I told my son what happened, but I could not make the VCR green light blink to prove my story. Before I left for work, I saw the green light blink! I called out to my son to come and see. At that very moment, the phone rang. My son answered the phone. I waited by his side for somehow I thought the blinking green light was a good sign. Indeed, it was. He was offered the job! He was asked to report to his new job within a week. Coincidentally, his first day at work was also my mother's birthday (lunar calendar)! About a month later, my younger son who graduated from college in April 2003 also got an offer for a good job. We sold the restaurant in 2004. 2003 was like the darkest night before dawn. Many dramatic things happened. It was only by the love and grace of the Loving Divine (God, guides, angels, and our loved ones especially my mother) that we survived.
In the morning, I told my son what happened, but I could not make the VCR green light blink to prove my story. Before I left for work, I saw the green light blink! I called out to my son to come and see. At that very moment, the phone rang. My son answered the phone. I waited by his side for somehow I thought the blinking green light was a good sign. Indeed, it was. He was offered the job! He was asked to report to his new job within a week. Coincidentally, his first day at work was also my mother's birthday (lunar calendar)! About a month later, my younger son who graduated from college in April 2003 also got an offer for a good job. We sold the restaurant in 2004. 2003 was like the darkest night before dawn. Many dramatic things happened. It was only by the love and grace of the Loving Divine (God, guides, angels, and our loved ones especially my mother) that we survived.
To my mother, I love you and thank you. She is still with us. Love lives. Love is.
Happy Mother's Day to all the loving mothers and grandmothers!
Love and blessings,
Q of D
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