"Life is like a sea, its ebb and rise are constant. It is the mental view of self that sees it differently. Everything is in perfect order as is. What we want you to do now is to be more outright in the front. State how you want your life to be. You have always planned your life as if you are responsible for everyone. No, you are only responsible for yourself. In being responsible for your own well-being, you influence others in a way that is much more than what you can perceive. Don't spend too much energy wishing how the others will be or to be. In doing so, you are not allowing others to learn their lessons. You can ask or pray that they learn their lessons with ease and grace, but not the way you think things would be or should be."
For days I noticed the tube of facial cleaner was about to run out. Business had been extremely slow. A new tube of cleaner only cost a few dollars, but I would rather use the money to buy two boxes of frozen meals for sons.
One morning, nothing came out of the tube no matter how hard I squeezed it or pressed it against my other hand. There I was holding the tube and feeling somewhat depressed. Suddenly, the little child in me thought: it was said Thou shalt provide. I held the tube with both of my hands in a prayer position, and prayed. Afterward, I squeezed the tube. I was all smiles seeing a dab of lotion fell onto my other hand. It was not watery. It was a normal dab of lotion. I joyfully and gratefully thanked the loving divine.
I did the same thing on the second day, i.e. I prayed and a dab of lotion came out. On the third day, I began to doubt. I thought there might still be bits of lotion here and there inside, and what happened was nothing magical. I shook and squeezed the tube, but nothing came out. I held the tube in my hands, and prayed wholeheartedly again. A dab of lotion came out. I stood there in awe and gratitude.
I did not recall how long this went on. It was probably about 6 to 7 days. One morning, with the tube of lotion in my hand, I looked into the mirror. I was swelled with gratitude for this incredible experience. Meanwhile, I felt it was time to move on and buy a new one. I threw away the tube. I felt free and peaceful.
At the time, my focus was on the lack because we struggled to pay bills. With the wrong focus, a few dollars seemed like a big deal. If my mind was clear, I would see it really did not matter how I spent the few dollars; my sons would be fine and I would be too. It was through grace that I decided to move on and buy a new tube of lotion when I looked at the mirror. There was no reasoning going on in my mind.
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As I was writing, I 'got' that - A lot of times, our sufferings were like that. We dwelt in the emotions that kept us down/stuck, e.g. worries, pain, hurt, anger, sorrow, sadness, guilt, shame, resentment, feeling lack / not enough, not being loved and etc. We held onto those emotions as if they were part of us. For instance, some people continued to live in the shadow of bad experiences that happened decades ago; some lived in sadness after a loved one died such as I was after my mother passed away. (Re Happy Mother's Day to all the loving mothers and grandmothers.) We failed to realize that we were hurting ourselves when we held onto those unwholesome emotions.
During the challenging years, I worried a lot. One morning, I looked at the me in the mirror. I suddenly realized how much I had aged! My eyelashes were almost gone or sparsely visible. The hair on my eyebrows was thin and sparse. I had lost some teeth. One of my front teeth was broken and the remaining portion was black / badly discolored. It was a wakeup call for me to take care of myself! I loved my sons, and wanted to be there for them. (Re Who Smiles? Who Sees? )
- My guide's timely intervention helped me greatly in my relationship with my older son. (Re Love! Love! Love! Just love him and nothing else. Simply love him ) During a few small gatherings, I had shared this experience. In later days, some people told me what I shared had helped them when they found themselves in a difficult situation/relationship. When they changed their view of the person/situation, the outcome changed too.
- One night I was filled with negative emotion dwelling over the situations we were in. Suddenly, I heard 'you can be happy no matter what'.
- On another occasion, I felt pain thinking about my relationship, and my guide said You feel pain because you let pain be .
Edgar Cayce, the Sleeping Prophet, had also said 'why worry since we can pray' during one of his channeled readings. (In 2004/5, I went to a small psychic fair. The host said those who came had a chance to win one of three donated prizes. My name was drawn! I won a thick book (used) - The Edgar Cayce Collection, Four Volumes in One. I had been a member of A.R.E. in recent years. I had won The Grand Prize (a $100 gift certificate) and the 2nd Reading and other prizes when I went to spiritual events. Looking back, it was not simply luck; it was the encouragement from the loving divine. I am deeply grateful.)
From my observation, there were many underlying conditions in additional to one's personality that caused some people to appear rude/mean/hostile. For instance, some bullies might hold something within that they did not feel good about themselves or might feel less/inferior to others in certain aspect; they bullied others in order to have that false sense of power and superiority. In some cases, it could be a repeat of a cycle. For example, in To forgive is first and most of all for the good of ourselves , a woman felt unloved and rejected by her mother as a child because her mother only loved her brother; when she became a mother, she could not show any affection toward her daughter.
We always associate healing with one's physical well-being, but it is not necessary the case. There are healing in many levels. One may come into this life with a physical challenge that may never be healed because it may be a choice he made. Healing can take place among his loved ones while taking care of him. Or, he may have chosen the physical challenge to have an experience. Instead of totally dismantled because of his illness, he accepts, prospers, and lives a good life.
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After I finished sharing the Thou Shalt Provide experience, another experience came to my mind. It also happened during the restaurant years.
I went to a store to buy something for the restaurant. That day was my husband's lunar birthday. (Many older Chinese like my husband and me remembered/celebrated our birthdays according to the lunar calendar. Oriental stores sold Chinese calendars in the beginning of a new year. We celebrated our sons' birthdays according to western calendar.)
In the old days, only birthdays of the older generations such as great grandparents or grandparents were important and sometimes celebrated with a feast. (Re I was nicknames the Queen of Dreams) My husband had always said there was no need to celebrate his birthday. He said he rarely remembered his birthday, i.e. when he was single. (He was not into remembering our birthdays, but always went along with me to buy gifts for sons' birthdays.) Despite of what he said, I never forgot his birthday. He said he did not want any Christmas present as well. We always bought him gifts, and saw him smile when he opened his gifts.I saw lobsters were on sale. My husband loved seafood. Despite of the money situation, I decided to buy two lobsters to celebrate his birthday. At the checkout counter, I was all smiles when the cashier told me the total was $33.33! (333 or 3333 is the ascended masters' number.) My heart was filled with joy. When I walked by the lottery counter near the entrance/exit, I decided to buy a $2 instant ticket. Later, I found out it was a $50 winner!