WHAT IS OUR FOCUS - Part 1

Greetings! 

Two days before I finished my last post Incredible Coincidence of Releasing Frustration , I woke up and got that 'What is our focus' would be the title of my next post.  Lying in bed, I felt very grateful for the active, loving presence of my spirit guides and angels in my life.  They knew I had been troubled by the emails from some of my friends in recent months.  

Most of the people in this group met in person.  I did not live in that state, and only joined them once in a long while on zoom.  Years earlier, I had emailed my opinion on some matters.  I had also spoken up once.  (Re Prophecies, and What We Need the Most At This Time - 2 )  I had not joined their meeting for many months.  I did not think I should join a meeting just to express a different view.  Therefore, I prayed for the situation involving my friends to be resolved by itself.  Of course, I had not planned to write about it.

Under the title of my blog Loveshines, I wrote 'In faith, I share with you my experiences.  My experiences are not just mine and yours are not just yours for in truth We Are One.  Let LOVE shine through the blog as the title has intended.'  However, the human I still found it challenging from time to time to share some experiences that I regarded as personal or experiences that involved my friends/loved ones.   

Reading the emails, I had thought my friends had misplaced their focus.  After 'What is our focus' came through, I saw how relevant the title was.  In truth, what we focused on was pertinent in life.  I changed my mind, and decided to share the experience.

For months, my friends were into prophecies of earth changes.  They did research, and collected data from online and from books.  They invited speakers to give talks on the same subject.  The more information they collected, the more they believed catastrophic earth changes such as traumatic flood and earthquakes were going to happen.  They began to focus on keeping track of the signs of earthquakes and unusual floods.  Gradually, they held discussions as what to do in case these disastrous events occurred.  They started to stock up the necessities, and advised others to do the same.  They had good intention.  They wanted to help as many people as they could when disasters hit.

The emails reminded me of a woman's story that I read about decades ago.  She believed in the end of time talks.  Fear and stress might have caused her to die early.  After she passed away, people found her basement packed with bottled water, canned food, and equipment for survival.  It also reminded me of the so-called angel channel's prophecy 17 years ago.  That winter was warm and beautiful instead of what she had prophesized.  Weeks later, a pastor said, "Despite of what happened, the angel channel had good intention.  She had taken out thousands of dollars from banks and credit cards, and had bought lots of medical supplies so that she could help many people when disasters hit."  She (the pastor) felt sad that the channel might be in debt because of her good intention.  It was worth noting that the woman had probably believed in her own channeled messages - the great power outage that winter would erase all record of loans/debts from the computer system of banks and credit card companies, and people would not have to pay back the money.  Besides, many people had gone to her for healing because she claimed the angels worked with her.  Her healing sessions were not free.  Worse yet, since she opened herself up to an unknown dark force, she had brought harm to some that came to her for healing.  (Re Prophecies, And What We Need the Most At This Time - 1 ) 

In retrospect, I wondered why she came to me four different times insisting that I must book healing sessions with her - 2 times inside the chapel after Sunday service was over; 2 times when I had already walked outside of the church, and she ran after me urging me to go to her for healing.  I declined.  Some people who always tried to be nice or polite might have said 'yes' in similar situations.  It came to me that we should not be too easy to say 'yes' or 'to make promises that we know we may not keep'; we should not give in to others who claimed to be much more powerful/superior than we were; the true masters knew the truth, and would not present themselves that way.  We could always ask our higher selves/guides/angels for guidance before making a decision.  If you have been reading my blog, you know I am not someone who thinks 'I do not need healing from others'.  When I held the monthly healing circle, we all practiced giving and receiving healing.  When the clairvoyant healer offered to give me healing, I gladly and gratefully accepted.  (Re The clairvoyant healer gave me a healing session ) 

Just like what happened in The Gathering seventeen years ago, my friends' emails stated that they had no fear of the prophesized earth changes; instead, they were looking forward to the future/golden age.  I always felt we should never join in to spread news that might cause mass fear.  In one zoom meeting, a woman said she lived in one of the southern states that would submerged under water according to the prophecies; she asked if her family should move to another state now.  I could hear the fear in her voice. 

In recent weeks/month, the Internet connection had been very unstable.  Many times the connection was lost a short while after I was on the computer.  We had a few gusty wind blowing days, and there was no Internet.  I talked to my son about it, and learned the provider had called him about upgrading the equipment and signing up for another plan.  My son said 'No' because there had already been price increase.  I did not know much about the Internet or the computer.  I searched online, and learned that our modem and router were indeed out of date.  We needed to buy new ones in the coming days.

Other than the Internet interruptions, I found myself stalled in writing.  I realized part of me still thought I should not write about my friends' experience.  On Easter Sunday (April 5,2026), it dawned on me that 'any time I / we had a strong reaction to a situation, it was no longer their experience/his experience/her experience; it became our situation/our experience; in order to move forward or move past the situation, we must resolve our reaction, come to term with what happened, and learn from it.  That was why I was inspired to write a post on What is our focus.  Again, it is true that my experiences are not just mine and yours are not just yours.😌.  \ 

I must have some help today that the Internet interruptions were far less than other days.  Before I continue with What is our focus, I am happy to report that the situation had resolved by itself quite a while back.  The host was guided to read a book in which Jesus talked about living in the now instead of worrying about the future.  As a result, the focus on what were to come and the discussion on stocking up necessities had stopped.

I receive an email from a sister about Pope Leo XIV has invited the faithful to a special Prayer Vigil for Peace in Saint Peter's Basilica on Saturday, April 11, 2026, at 18:00 (6 PM Rome time) to pray for lasting peace.  As the sister says, prayer is energy.  

May the Spirit of Peace unite us all.  May we live in Peace, Harmony and Love.

Love and Blessings,

Q of D

I am not just my personality & we are not just earthlings - 1

Greetings!

A while back, I went to a spiritual gathering.  I had gone there for lectures and attended their service every now and then.  However, with my human nature (or personality), I had as yet come out of my shell to truly socialize with others.

I usually left when some people began to leave.  On that particular day, I sensed someone/others might want to talk me.  For a brief second, I hesitated if I should stay, but decided to leave anyway.  As I walked out, I could feel my action had caused some misunderstanding.  

In the beginning weeks at the small church in the other state, I was often the first one to leave the chapel when Sunday service was over.  It took The Big Moment of Embarrassment  to break the ice (formed by myself) that I began to feel more comfortable sitting among my new friends.

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When I was home, I thought of my action that had caused some misunderstanding.  

I recalled an incident that happened years ago.  

My husband and I went to a gathering.  When we entered, I saw some members of a family sat on long sofas.  I rushed forward to greet a woman who had treated me with kindness.  As we embraced, I saw from the corner of my eyes the frozen smile of a woman that stood next to us.  Her hands were still up as if she was ready to give a hug.  I realized she had thought I rushed forward to greet her.  I greeted her next.  She no longer smiled, and acted distant.  She probably felt embarrassed and hurt a little.  We did not know each other well.  In later years, she remained somewhat distant on the occasions we met again.  I looked at her with understanding.  Some people believed talking to one another could solve any misunderstanding.  In my experience, it was not necessary so.  In life, there were lessons here and there, and sometimes a situation might not be a lesson for both sides.  We could not please everyone or fix everything.  However, we could always look at others with discernment and understanding.

Life dramas were plentiful.  If we were observant and truthful to ourselves, we might find that we easily formed opinions and judgments from our experiences about situations, others as well as ourselves.  Sometimes we let negative opinions / judgments take hold and disrupt our peace of mind.  As a human being, I had my share of letting what happened disrupt my peace.  However, I agreed with my guides that we were responsible for our own wellbeing which included emotional wellbeing.  (Re You feel pain because you let pain be  and Happy Thoughts produce a Happy You  )

After recalling this incident, I decided "I am not just my personality, and will make some adjustments next time I go there."  

There was a purpose for the personality we took on for a certain lifetime.  Our personality did not represent our whole/true self.  In my December 2001 reading by a known angel channel, I was told "to go among people without delay, and don't play small . . ."  However, my personality was I just wanted to observe quietly, and did not want to draw any attention.  And, I always saw myself as simple.  In my 2006 reading, the psychic said, "You come to live as an ordinary person, and in many ways, you want to live an ordinary life as an ordinary person, you don't want others to see you otherwise; but you also have to accept who you are . .., and it has been a challenge for you . . ."  (These might not be the exact words.  It took too much time to find the journal of that time.  Re The Grand Prize (a $100 gift certificate) and the 2nd reading and other posts on the reading)  

Indeed, the human I found it challenging when others particularly strangers suddenly said this or that about me.  I often did not know how to respond while he/she walked away which left me feeling unsettled afterward.  (For example, She said, "It is a shame that you have retired." )  A few years ago, a lecturer who was clairvoyant and psychic suddenly said on zoom, "Q of D wants to hide her light."  I did not turn on the camera.  The lecturer always said he could see us even if we turned off the camera.  It was embarrassing yet funny.  In 2020s, I joined different zoom groups.  Thanks to him, I challenged myself to leave the camera on during most zoom meetings.  Then one day another psychic and clairvoyant began to talk about me / my light on zoom.  The good thing was I did not know much spiritual stuff such as spiritual terms, laws, modalities and etc.  I truly enjoyed other people's talks/presentations.

I had many past life dreams as well as dreams in other dimensions.  In one of my dreams, I was a young female (late teens).  The me in the dream was walking with a few males of her age.  She was outgoing and talkative.  If I remembered correctly, she wore an amber pendant.  

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At some point of writing this post (some days ago), I began to share some of my life stories.  Some of my friends saw me as shy, but I did not see myself as shy.  I wrote about what I learned from my dreams and readings about myself.  I wrote that 'life is infinite, and we are all multi-dimensional beings'.  I had planned to use words like 'Life is infinite, and I am not just my personality'  as the title of this post.  In the morning of July 19/20, I woke up with these words 'I am not just my personality, and we are not just Earthlings.'  I found these words to be a better title for my post than what I had planned.  

As I continued writing, I realized there was more to share about our multi dimensional selves than I had anticipated.  The post would be too long, and I did not know when I could finish it.  I decided to skip the part about my life stories and we were all multi-dimensional beings.  I thought I would publish a post under 'I am not just my personality' and delete 'we are not just earthlings'.  I tried to delete the title twice, but IT DID NOT WORK! I surrendered.  As a result, I added 1 to the title.  I would be working on 2 after this post.

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Six days after the possible misunderstanding incident, I went to a gathering in another spiritual center.  Tables had been set because we would have some food before the main event.  5 to 6 people sat by each table.  When I walked in, most tables were filled except one table to the left near the back.  One man sat there.  I walked to sit by that table.  We greeted each other, and talked a little.  A man came from another table to join us.  Soon three men from other tables came.  The six of us had a conversation on food, religion and so on.

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About a week later, I went to the other center again.  I stayed behind, and took the initiative to talk to the others.  I had not intended to build walls.  It was good to Be Observant of Our Pattern/Attitude , and made some adjustments.   

Next post We are not just earthlings -2 

Love and Blessings,

Q of D

  

The Changes In Our Life

Greetings!

We are halfway through 2025.  How is your 2025 so far?

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2007 was a year of many changes to our family.  For examples -  

In late March 2007, I finally went to a healing workshop.  Back in July 2005, the teacher of the Thursday Circle had related a message from my spirit guide for me to learn healing, but I did not follow.  I saw myself as an ordinary Chinese woman, and it was hard for me to envision working as a healer in the western culture.  (Re Did I feel qualified as a healer? and  We are all much more than who we appear to be )  

In July 2007, my younger son got married.  On the day before the wedding, my older son was offered a job in another state.  He asked us to move there with him.  I knew moving to the other state was very much in the divine plan.  (Re The Amazing Prophetic Dream of Moving - Story 1 )  However, I was overwhelmed with emotions during that time.  For over 20 plus years, the family of four had lived in the same state.  I could not imagine how shocking it was for my younger son to learn right before his wedding that his parents and older brother would soon move to a state that was about 750 miles away.  

As always, major changes brought in a new beginning.  2007 was a year of many changes and a new beginning for our family.

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2016 was a year of changes too.  My older son began working in a company that he still worked for now.  For a while, I worked as a caregiver.  In June, I went to a gathering.  (Re Two powerful healer came from another state , The Clairvoyant healer gave me a healing session and I asked to be a channel of healing to the others, and I was )  Since moving back to this state in 2012, I seldom went out by myself at night.  It was because of those meetings that I began to attend discourses at night given by a spiritual master from another country in later months in 2016 and in 2017.  (Yes, I stepped outside of my comfort zone again! 😃😃)  Most importantly, in 2016, I met Matthew, my brother - an incredible story of mystical dreams and reincarnations.  (Re A Strange Dream and other posts published in 2016 and 2017)  In the last months of 2016, my husband had A Chance Meeting in A Restaurant .  To be able to sit among friends every morning helped my husband a lot *.  To me,  2016 was a year of grace.  

* During the pandemic years, the restaurant closed its door for dining in.  My husband could no longer get together with his friends in the restaurant.  It definitely had an adverse effect on his wellbeing.  

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Before 2025 arrived, I knew changes were coming except I had no idea of when / what.  (The sum of the digits of 2007, 2016 and 2025 is the same.) In a phone conversation with a loved one in March, I learned changes had already started.  Luckily, I was no longer the me decades ago.  I had (have) faith in the Loving Divine; I fully trusted All Is Well and only good came (or comes) out of all situations.  In April/May, I also learned of the big changes that were occurring to a family that I had indirectly come to know.  At night, I prayed for those that were going through these changes.  

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As human beings, sometimes we ask / pray / long for changes while at other times, we dread facing changes in life.  Changes are part of our life.  Spiritually, changes are opportunities for us to overcome something, learn life lessons, and / or to go on a new path.  However, in our human forms, it is hard for us to look at life situations that way.  Sometimes we spend our time blaming others / finding faults / dwelling in unwholesome emotions such as anger, pain, hurt, shame, and hate.   We trap ourselves in darkness.  We forget we are responsible for our own wellbeing.  We forget we have a free will.  We can choose to move forward with courage and a positive outlook of the future.

During the challenging restaurant years, sometimes I sat on bed thinking about the problems with tears dripping down my face.  One night, I heard (my guide said) "You can choose to be happy no matter what."  It did not go well with me then.  Over the years, I gradually found what he said was true.  It was one of the best pieces of advice about life.  When I dwelt in the lack, I continued to live in the lack.  When I lightened up my heart, I allowed grace, miracles and wonders to come into my life.  My heart was filled with gratitude and awe because of these touches of the Loving Divine.  

In any life situation / change that involve others, it is important to look within if we need to adjust / change / improve on our views or the way we live our life.  Love ourselves and bless others with good wishes.

If you have time, please click to view To Let Go Is . . . . 

May all of us go through life's changes in the ease and grace of the Loving Divine.

Love and Blessings,

Q of D

  

Prophecies, and What We Need the Most At This Time - 2

Greetings!

I would like to start this post with words of wisdom from my guides in The 'real beauty' of life is 'what you do not know' published on 9/23/2011 -

You want to know what's to come before it comes.  You want us to confirm what you think you know.  The 'real beauty' of life is 'what you do not know'.  For instance, if you know you will be very rich in May, you will look forward to May.  What happens in between now and May you will not handle them with emotions of not knowing.

With not knowing, you will handle whatever happens with creativity.  You will deal with them with your true emotions.  And to do that - living your life truthfully - is what life is all about.

I began writing this post on Jan. 23, 2025.  I just realized I received the above guidance on Jan. 23, 2003 which was exactly 22 years ago!  In  It is the not knowing that makes life intriguing , I shared some interesting experiences of not knowing too.

I supposed it was our human nature that we wanted to know what lay ahead.  If we searched online, we might find lots of videos on what were to come.  The end of time talks were nothing new.  Decades ago, I heard this story.  A woman lived in fear because she believed in the 'end of time' talks that she had heard.  She spent her money getting ready for 'what were to come'.  She died when she was around 40 years old.  People found her basement filled with packs and packs of bottled water, lots of canned food, and equipment for survival.  In another news many years ago, a group of people came to USA from another place.  They gathered on a mountain top.  Their (cult) leader had told them that a spaceship would come to pick them up by a certain date; they were the chosen ones to be saved.  That date came to pass.  They eventually went home.  

I did not say all prophecies were false.  There had been notable true prophets throughout history.  However, we should not simply believe in everything that others said particularly words that caused us to live in fear.

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In my previous post, I wrote -

The guest speaker's dreams did not stir fear in my heart.  Pease note that it did not mean I disputed his dreams.  I decided to join the meeting with an open heart.

The host had sent out emails inviting others to email him before the meeting what they had received in dreams or visions about what were to come.  He would compare the data to the speaker's dreams.  The host himself had read many books on prophecies and earth changes.

When zoom started, the host introduced a woman who corroborated with the guest speaker's dreams.  If I heard correctly, she did not live in USA.  I supposed she might have similar dreams / visions / she could be a psychic.  

The guest speaker began by sharing some of his stories that we had already learned from the host's email and attachment.  Later, he talked in depth about what the world would look like after the mass destruction and the safe havens.  He said there would be only a few safe havens, and his country was one of them.  He suggested for people to move there so that they would be saved.  He shared his views why USA and its people would come to a horrific tragic end as he saw in his dreams. 

When I wrote to this point, I felt I should pause before I continued.  I did not want to put this brother in a negative light.  He joined the meeting believing that a nuclear war was imminent, and wanted to warn others ahead of time.  As far as I knew, he did not gain anything by joining the meeting.    

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I had wanted to go straight to 'what we need the most at this time'.  I did not want to write about the guest speaker's personal views of USA which might put him in a negative light.  That was the reason for the pause in writing.  However, I had come to understand the value of sharing his views.  His views / experiences mirrored part of us in our reality.  In truth, his experiences were not just his experiences.  If we set aside our judgment, we could all learn something from OUR experiences.

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The guest speaker told us what he saw in his dreams - USA was totally destroyed and its people were massacred by people from different countries.  He said it was because USA had done lots of wrong to other countries and their people.  Hearing what he said, I realized his dream world might have been tainted by his personal views.  Everything Is Energy .  What he held in his mind (i.e. his views of USA) could have been reflected in his dreams.  (In The Conclusion of the Great Gray Cat , all of us in the family had dreamed of the cat after he moved on, and our dreams were different.)   

As grown ups, we saw ourselves as independent individuals. (Definition of independent - free from outside control; not depending on another's authority).  

However, our upbringing as well as our experiences had an effect or even an impact in how we looked at the world and life (e.g. the environment we grew up - the country we lived in, our culture, the society, church / temple, religion / no religion, what we learned from our parents / teachers / schools, our experiences with our family / relatives / friends / others and etc.).  At times we formed judgment / wrong views, but were not conscious that we did.  (e.g. In She loves her daughters more than her son , the waitress formed a view against her son simply because of other people's experiences.  In A talk among girls about the Criteria of an Ideal Husband, some girls were not aware that they had let a wrong view take root in their mind.)

I must add that some * people that lived under extreme dictatorship might not / could not be as free or as independent as they could be.  Sometimes they were being brainwashed since childhood through the educational system.  (*Some only.  There were always free thinkers that did not abide to what they were told, and fought for their freedom from whatever harsh conditions they were born into.)    

The speaker had told us he was in his 50 s.  USA and the country where he was born had long regarded each other as the prime enemy.  When he was in his late teens / around 20, that country dissolved into different countries.  By then, he had probably taken in the political views of his country about USA.  He now lived in one of those countries that declared independence during the dissolution.

The brother was not any different from us.  We had all taken in other views (incl. political) as if they were our own, e.g. a country's political stance, views from our family / friends / the society, and even cult leaders' / dictators' views.  In order to understand his views about USA, I could not simply think that he was wrong.  Upon contemplation, I realized he was not alone in his views against USA.      

The 2001 9/11 Terrorists Attacks came to my mind.  I remembered I was shocked and sadden because of what happened.  Every morning before I went to the restaurant, I sat in front of the TV watching the latest news.  At night I did the same after coming home.  Sometimes tears flowed down my face listening to the stories.  How could the terrorists do that?  My heart went out to those that had lost their loved ones during the attacks.  I prayed a lot at night.  I did not remember much about USA anti-terrorist wars in other countries.  I did remember I cheered as most did seeing the statue of Saddam Hussein, the dictator of Iraq, being pulling down to the ground in 2003.  By then, I was going through my own challenge watching my husband spent his time practicing the moves day and night.  Terrorist attacks still drew my attention, and I continued to pray for people that suffered when such incidents happened.  

The brother's words about USA led to my pause in writing.  As days went by, I realized there was far more to terrorism / hatred toward another country / its people.

In the name of righteousness, many wars were declared.  However, were there not wars fought mainly to maintain a country's political dominance in the world?  Yet, the same country / countries had turned a blind eye to great injustice such as the massacre of a certain race in another country.  There were also wars started for revenge.  Who suffered the most during wars?  The common people.  How many times we watched on the news that men and women held onto the dead bodies of their loved ones crying in the war torn zones.  Most people carried the sadness for the rest of their lives, but resigned to the brutality of wars.  Some grew up in hatred waiting for their time to avenge.  They blamed the country / countries that bombed their country, destroyed their homes, and caused the deaths of their loved ones /  friends.  Hatred blurred the sense of right or wrong.  Later, they joined terrorist groups or carried out terrorist acts on their own.   They did not realize their terrorist acts killed innocent people just as what happened in a war.  

Like the guest speaker, many of us had taken in a country's political stance or the doctrine of a church / a religion as if they were our own.  In a political climate where one country easily called another country the enemy, we might have unknowingly regarded another nation and its people as our enemies too.  Therefore, it should not be that hard to understand why the guest speaker said USA and its people had done lots of wrong to the other countries.  Many cheered after the death of Saddam Hussein the dictator, and felt victorious over terrorism.  BUT, most of us might not have given much thought / attention to the price of war - the innocent lives that were lost.  I searched online, and learned that 4.5 to 4.7 million people had died directly and indirectly as a result of the post-9/11 anti-terrorists wars in different countries, including over 7,000 service members of USA.  How would you / we feel if we were the ones that lived through the wars seeing our homes were being destroyed and our loved ones getting killed?  

In August 2021, US withdrew its military from Afghanistan.  After a long 20 years, the wars seemed to be over.  Was the war against terrorists really over?  The soldiers came home, but many carried the scars of wars physically and / or mentally for the rest of their lives.  Could we have taken another approach instead of starting a war?

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After the guest speaker talked, people were quiet.  It might be we had not expected to hear what he said of USA.  One person asked when the nuclear war would take place.  The speaker said it would happen in 2 to 3 weeks.  I had something to say, but did not want to raise my hand.  Knowing my English was not sufficient, I hoped and prayed someone else would speak up in response to what the speaker said. 

A few minutes before the meeting was about to end, the host asked one last time if others had any questions or wanted to say something.  I finally raised my hand.  I asked the speaker if it was possible that what he perceived as a nuclear war was an explosion of a natural cause.  He said it was possible.  I was nervous.  I did not recall all that I said, but my messages were always that of 'peace and do not live in fear'.  Unexpectedly, I heard someone cheered after I finished talking.  It kind of eased my nerves.  It was not that I was proud.  What was there to be proud of anyway?

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I paused writing this post because I did not want to put the brother in a negative light.  While trying to understand why he felt that way towards USA, the 2001 9/11 Terrorists Attacks came to my mind.  During the restaurant years, my husband and I worked 7 days a week from morning to night.  When we arrived home, it was almost 11 p.m.  Except during the 9/11 period, we did not spend much time watching TV.  Therefore, I knew very little about the other wars that USA was in.  In retrospect, the pause in writing and the surface of the 9/11 incidents in my mind were very much in divine order.

Many of us went through life seldom examined our views / attitude / patterns.  At times we thought that we were in the right, and others were wrong.  If we examined closely and truthfully, we might find that we were not that right either.  In writing this post, I realized it helped to listen to others with an open heart, and the importance of spending some time to examine the views we held. 

These days the world seemed to be in chaos particularly in USA.  Some of my friends said they had stopped watching the news.  

Sorry, it takes me a long time to finish a post.  I hope to finish 'What we need the most at this time - 3' before the end of February.  (Next post What We Need the Most At This Time - 3 )

Peace and Love, 

Q of D

Be Observant of Our Pattern / Attitude

Greetings!

There had been lots of Internet or Wi-Fi interruptions in recent weeks / months.  The connection was lost on and off throughout the day.  At times there was no Internet for hours or even for a whole day.  As a result, I could not join a few zoom meetings that I had signed up for.  In the last few days, the connection was better than before.  

 

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In my last post She said, "It is a shame that you have retired  (from healing work)."  I could not respond right away because her words caught me by surprise.  I wanted to talk to her, but she did not seem to want to talk to me anymore.  I decided to let it go.

I had not been a professional healer.    

In late May of 2005, I joined a spiritual circle that met every Thursday from 10 a.m. to noon.  Whenever it was my turn to introduce myself, I said, "I am XXX XXX.  I am simple".  Some at the circle were psychics, mediums, healers, and channels.  They said that I was a healer.  I did not take it to heart even though I occasionally felt a surge of energy when I sat among people.  To me, I was a novice on a spiritual journey.  Two months later, the teacher of the circle told me that my spirit guide had been prompting her to tell me to learn healing.  My English was not good.  It was already unconceivable that my guide told me to teach and write.  I did not follow the guidance.  I just could not imagine myself working as a healer in a western culture.

A year and a half later, I finally told my guides, "I am ready to learn healing.  Please bring me a teacher."  Near the end of March 2007, I went to a 2-day healing workshop that was held in another center.  

The teacher of healing came from another state.  (Posts about the teacher We are all divine instruments from time to time and Their Way of Being Inspired Me )  Originally, she had said the workshop would be held in our center in April 2007.  After a mini session with her during the psychic night, I had decided to attend her workshop.  However, I had not told her.  On the last Thursday of February, a friend rushed in.  She did not come regularly because she lived in a city that was not near the center.  The teacher of healing sent her to tell me the workshop would be held in another center and in March instead of April.  At the time, I had not subscribed for the Internet, and did not have an email address.  Both the friend and the teacher did not know my phone number.  I would have missed the workshop if the teacher did not send the friend to tell me.   The teacher of healing had said she was in constant communication with the Divine (e.g. archangels and ascended masters).  Indeed, she was.

When I told my friends that I had learned a healing art, the teacher *** of the Thursday Circle asked me to be the on-site healer on Wednesdays.  (*** By then, she was also the owner of the center.)  Some people might be excited about the opportunity, but I was not.  The other on-site healers in the center were experienced healers.  Besides, a couple of my friends in our circle were Reiki masters.  They were qualified healers.  I just went to a healing workshop.  I could not be an on-site healer.  The teacher of the circle who was a long time professional psychic said Wednesday was mine if I accepted.  She saw more in me than I saw myself.  I said I would not accept money for sessions because I really did not know much about healing.  She said it was up to me.  To my teacher and friend, thank you for your love and support.  (Re More on my journey as a channel of spiritual healing energy )

Five months later, we moved to another state because our older son found a job there.  (Re The Amazing Prophetic Dreams of Moving - Story 1 )

Soon after the move, the teacher of healing called.  She told me that two Unity ministers that had gone to her healing workshop would be visiting a Unity church in the city I lived in.  The teacher said it might be the three of us could offer healing after Sunday service.  It did not happened because the two traveling ministers were there for their own agenda.  However, going to Unity Church was very much in the divine plan.  While I was there, I met a mother and daughter who were both mediums.  They gave me the address of a small interfaith church.  They said that church was for me.  They were right.  I eventually called the small church my spiritual home.

Later, the teacher of healing came to the city that I lived in to attend some events in a big spiritual center.  She called me, and we met in a restaurant.  She encouraged me to work as a healer.  She suggested for me to go to different spiritual / healing centers to present (or promote) myself.  I could not follow through on her advice.  With little earthly qualification, I thought no center would allow me to work there.  Above all, I did not know how to promote myself.   (Re Their Way of Being Inspired Me )         

On the last Sunday of Jan. 2008, I participated in the small church's quarterly healing service as one of the healers for the first time.  (Re It is the not knowing that makes life intriguing )  

In Oct., 2008, I had a vivid dream. I did not know how to interpret it.  It so happened I visited a holistic store a couple of days ago, and took its brochure home.  After the dream, I learned from the brochure that there was a free dream interpretation on that day.  A few months later, I was shocked to learn that the store had printed out its Feb. brochure that I would be holding a healing workshop at the end of Feb.  Though I understood divine plan was at work, I was stressed out and got sick before the workshop.  I was made well the day before the workshop.  (Re A beautiful pink fish on the back of a white dove )

I was very, very relieved after the workshop was over.  I thought I would not hold another workshop again.  I did not know I would be holding the second workshop 8 months later, and would go through a drama of misunderstanding.  Eventually, my friends and I held two more workshops before I left that state in 2012.  Many people talked about creating vision boards.  In my case, the human I had not envisioned holding any healing workshop at all.  (Re  Cooperation and the human drama of misunderstanding )  

After the first two healing workshops, the church kindly allowed me / us to hold a healing circle once a month after Sunday service.  Many people had gone to healing workshops, but did not have a place to practice what they had learned afterward.  The healing circle was open to people that wanted to receive healing as well as those that wanted to give / practice healing (any healing modality).  There was no charge.      

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The incident (i.e. She said, "It is a shame that you have retired") happened in 2023.  It reminded me of a similar incident while I was with the small church.  After the quarterly healing service, a woman walked to me and said, "You are a healer!  Why do you work in a cafeteria?"  I was not good in remembering faces and names.  She looked familiar to me, i.e. someone I had seen at church.  While I tried to remember who she was, she walked away.  I wished both of them had taken the time to talk to me.  I would have been very grateful if they did.

The woman said it was a shame that I had retired from healing work.  First, I had not been a professional healer.  Second, I always held the pure intention of service, and was opened to be a channel of healing and divine blessings to the others wherever I am.  I did not think I had retired or would ever retire from being a channel of healing.  

I had not shared with my friends at church about how I came to work in a cafeteria.  It had something to do with a dream.  In a reading some months later, the channeled message confirmed there was a purpose for me to work in the cafeteria.  However, the plan did not come to fruition.  I had to leave that state because of my husband's condition and my son found a new job in another state.  As for the caregiver job, I thought of not accepting the job while I was driving home after the interview.  Lo and behold, the license plate of a car in the next lane drew my attention.  It was with the name of my angel!  And, I changed my mind.  It was the same with working as a volunteer for a Chinese charity group.  Week after week, there was nothing to do in the office.  The phone rarely rang.  I could not help but wondered why I was there.  The human I might not know the reason, but the Divine knew.  (Re I saw no purpose of being there )

   

When the 2023 incident resurfaced in my mind, I did not think much about it.  A few days later, two past dream experiences came to my mind.  

1.    In the dream, I kept asking myself, "Why am I here?"  (published on Feb. 15, 2021) and the subsequent post Have a Great New Beginning 

2.    The pattern in my life that needed to be changed (published on June 9, 2012)

It was a shocking realization that years and years had gone by, and I still went through life with similar attitude / pattern.  In August 2016, the spiritual teacher had said to me, "When you accept who you are, you will be much more and can help many people."  (Re Day 1 of the one-week evening spiritual retreat )  In recent years, I was at ease and at peace with myself / life.  I thought I had accepted who I am.  Obviously, it was a false assumption since I doubted myself even in my dream.  The resurfacing of the 2023 incident was a reminder for me to work on myself, to be observant of my action and thinking, and to let go of patterns and thought that did not serve me.

Nov. 28, 2024 will be Thanksgiving Day.  Happy and peaceful holidays to all of you!

Love and Blessings,

Q of D

She said, "It is a shame that you have retired."

Greetings!

A long time spiritual seeker once said in a gathering that he lived in the moment of now.  His mind was often clear and calm.  I thought 'Wow!  That would be great!' 

Unlike the brother / teacher, my mind was busy except when I was really focused on doing something.  Otherwise, it was like a recorder that played naturally yet randomly of what it had recorded, e.g. chanting / affirmation that I learned,  the music that I loved, and the silly, uplifting short songs that I created.  Once in a while, a past event or incident might pop up in my mind too.

Quite a while back, an incident came to my mind.  It happened over a year ago.  I had put it behind me.  Therefore, I did not think much of it afterward.  As time went on, more experiences that had something to do with that incident surfaced in my mind.  Eventually, it caused me to take a good look within and examine my pattern / the way I went about in life.

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Last year I was excited to learn that a new holistic center would be opening in a city near me.  In the months before its grand opening, the center held some promotional events.  I had gone to a few of those events.

One day I went to its pre-opening celebration.  The parking lot was almost full.  After listening to a couple of presentations by the professionals that had leased spaces in the center, I visited different rooms in the building.  It was a rectangular building.  The size of rooms varied.  The hallway was narrow.  At one point while I was in the hallway, I stopped walking so as to let people walked out of a room.  A woman that came out of the room looked me up and down.  

She said, "What profession are you in?"

Caught by surprise, it took me a while to process what she said.  I said, "I am retired."  

She asked, "What do you do before you retire?"

I pondered what do say.  I said, "I was a caregiver."

She seemed to be puzzled by my answer.  She said, "But, you know healing, don't you?"

Ah, she could see, I thought.  I said, "Yes, I do."

Immediately, I could feel her disapproval of me.  She walked away saying, "It is a shame that you have retired!"  

I saw her walked into another room.  I decided to go to that room because I wanted to talk to her.  A few people were inside looking at the display.  She did not look at me as if she did not want to talk anymore.  A young woman walked in.  I recognized her.  She was one of the professionals that gave talk earlier.  She and the woman greeted one another as if they knew each other well.  They talked quietly for a while.  The young woman looked at me.  She said, "It may be we can work together."  It seemed she had other thing to attend to.  She said 'bye' to the woman, and left the room.  Soon the woman left too. 

Sometimes I did not know what to think after an experience liked this happened.      

This kind of incidents happened from time to time.  I believed I had written about an incident that happened while I was with the small church.  One Sunday I took part in the quarterly healing service.  When it was over, a woman walked to me and said "You are a healer!  Why are you working in a cafeteria?"  I stood there thinking "Who is she?  She looks somewhat familiar?  How does she know I work in a cafeteria?"  Before I said anything, she walked away.  In A Strange Conversation with A Professor , the professor seemed to know a lot about me while it was the first time we met.  In The Lesson of Importance , I found it challenging to take in what others said of me.  "You are important to the church and the community."  I never thought I was important or not.  When people said things about me out of nowhere, the human I needed time to process.  Did he / she really say what I thought I had heard?  Why did he / she say that?  Could I have heard it wrong?  He / she often walked away before I could respond.

I wished I was quick to respond, but I was not.  Afterward, I had to deal with the unsettling emotion.

In the above case, her words "it is a shame that you have retired' kind of bothered me.  She did not know me.  How could someone that I had not met before said that to me!  I would have appreciated if she sat down and talked to me.  It might be I should have taken the initiative to ask her if we could talk.  

I share my experience 'as is'.  I shall share with you my introspection in later post(s).

Love and Light,

Q of D

                                           

Oh, I was holding a grudge . . . . .

Greetings!

Some weeks ago I was taking a walk on the sidewalk of the road.  

In a distance, I saw a man walking in my direction.  I recognized him.  I thought of walking quickly to turn into a side road because I did not want to greet him.  Right away, I caught my negative reaction.  Oh, I was holding a grudge against him!  I laughed (at my self), and told myself not to hold any grudges.  I continued to walk on the sidewalk at my normal pace.  As we met, we greeted and wish each other a blessed day.  

He was one of those that walked in the school fields.  I did not go for walks at a fixed time.  It could be any time in the morning or in the afternoon.  Therefore, we only came across each other once in a long while.  When we did, we exchanged pleasantries as most others did.  (I used the word 'most' because there were always a few with their eyes looking straight ahead.)

I loved nature.  I smiled as the light breeze touched my face.  I took pictures of insects, birds, trees, flowers, little animals, rainbows, sun, moon and etc.  One day (not this year) I saw a beautiful cicada on a tree.  It was in the process of shedding its old skin / shell.  I took out my camera to take some pictures.  This man happened to walk by.  When he saw the cicada, he said, "Oh, it is ugly!  It is gross!"  He walked away with a disgusted look on his face.  In retrospect, I must have formed a negative view of him because of this minor incident.

I fully understood we all had things we liked and things that we did not like.  I loved cats and dogs.  The friend that used to live in the neighborhood strongly disliked cats, but we were friends. ( Re A conversation between two grandmothers )  I normally accepted how other people were.  In where I lived, I rarely saw cicadas.  When I saw the cicada, I felt joy.  I must have reacted adversely when I heard the man's 'extreme' comments about the beautiful insect.  It was a good thing that I caught myself holding a grudge because I could then choose to let it go.  It was his negative emotion / judgment toward the cicada, and it had nothing to do with me.

As my spirit guide shared with me in  We don't necessary have to like or dislike someone 

It is alright to react with a certain mood such as happy, surprise or even upset.  Face it, this is what life is all about.  But then, we discern ourselves from the feeling, and observe it with tranquility.

Many changes are going on at this time on earth.  Take care.

Love & Blessings,

Q of D

Part 5 - The background of my husband's problem

Greetings!

In January 2003, my husband decided to follow the step by step instructions on a Chinese newspaper to learn a practice.  According to the newspaper, many people were imprisoned again and again because they would not stop practicing.  We had talked about it, and felt that there might be something amiss about this practice.    Therefore, I was surprised of his decision.  He had always been headstrong, and would not listen to what others had to say.  He said he would stop if he felt there was something wrong with the practice.        

Please click to view the following posts about what happened in 2003.  These posts were published in Jan. and Feb. of 2016. 

           Fall only into the Divine Emotion of Love, the Creative Force 

           In time of darkness, light always shines through 

           The Broken Alarm Clock and Past / Present / Future 

           More 1111 incidents, and the Wondrous Light in the Sky     

These experiences were intense and personal.  Like most of you, I went through the life situations with tears and pain too.  I kept most of them to myself, and had not shared with my loved ones.  Partly, I did not want to disturb their peace; partly, mystical happenings could only be experienced, and others might see them as merely coincidence.  

In my Dec. 2001 reading, my guides and angels said I was supposed to teach, write and share my wisdom.  In May 2005, I finally stepped outside of my family to join a spiritual circle.  For years, I wondered What wisdom do I have .  It took me a long time to understand that it was through sharing my experiences that I taught.  When my younger son urged me to write, I had not thought of sharing these very personal experiences.  Looking back, it was not a coincidence that I chose Loveshines as the title of my blog.  Under the title I wrote -

In faith, I share with you my experiences.  My experiences are not just mine and your experiences are not just yours for in truth We Are One.  Let LOVE shine through this blog as the title has intended.

There was much more to my husband's / our story.  It was with hope that the lessons I learned from my experiences might in some ways help others to look at their own relationships from a new perspective.

Love and Peace,

Q of D

    

The Importance of Maintaining Our PEACE

Greetings!

A friend called.  She told me months ago some of the electrical appliances in her house broke down one after another within a few days.  She now wondered if her energy or her emotional state had anything to do with it.  She said she was very angry in those days.

What she said reminded me of a similar experience that happened during the restaurant years.  Some appliances malfunctioned one after another in a matter of days.  I was overwhelmed by the situation.  We did not have the money to fix the appliances because it was already a struggle to pay for the rent, utilities, and other bills.  At that time, I did not connect with what happened around us might have something to do with our emotional state.

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Business had been very slow.  My husband was angry and bitter.  He started cussing ** which he never did before in our marriage.  He vented his anger at his family.   At times, he was loud and unreasonable.  Although I would not enter into a shouting match with him, but I was angry at his expression of anger.  The worst of all, he detached himself from all the problems.  Whenever I talked to him about what to do, it was like talking to a wall.  He either gave me a blank look or he simply said he did not know what to do.  It was due to his insistence of owning his own restaurant and choosing a location with many red flags that put us in the situations that we were in.  I resented it that he now left all the problems for me to handle.  (** He had told me he used to cuss as many that lived in the village did.  Cussing words were part of the language in their conversation, and did not really mean anything.  He gradually learned to avoid using those cussing words after he left the village.)

I prayed a lot during those years.  Occasionally, there was a sudden surge of business which gave us some financial relief.  Sometimes I woke up with an idea to fix a problem.  Sometimes help came from an unexpected source.  For instance, we went to a hardware store wanting to buy some tools to fix an appliance by ourselves.  We happened to come across an employee of the store who was a regular customer of our restaurant.  He told us not to buy the tools.  Later that day, he came with his own tools and taught us how to fix the problem.  He would not accept anything in return.  

Other than the 'Night Vision - Pieces of a Dream' phenomenon that lifted my spirit from time to time, there were other cases of the grace of God.  For example, I knew the restaurant inspector could be coming anytime, and one appliance needed to be serviced before he came.  I called the company that used to service that particular  appliance.  The woman that answered the phone acted as if she did not understand my English.  I tried to be patient, but it was getting nowhere.  I called another company, and was told the earliest they could send someone out was some days later.  I accepted the scheduled day, and let go of my concern.  After lunch hours were over, I went shopping for the restaurant.  When I came back, a man was working on the appliance!  He told me he came because he just finished his work at another restaurant.  While he was there, he flipped through his work orders, and noticed our restaurant was near that restaurant.  Therefore, he decided to come to our restaurant instead of days later.  When he gave me the invoice, I was all smiles.  The invoice number ended with 4444.  444 which meant the Power of God's love was a very significant number in my life.

Due to these incidents or touches of God, my heart was constantly filled with awe and gratitude.  I wrote in my other posts I used to include many people in my prayers.  When I heard of a divorce, illness or death, I prayed for those families.  I also prayed for the world and Mother Earth.  Looking back, my love and concern for others had unexpectedly helped me to look away from my own problems.  As a result, I was able to return to peace despite of the situations.

I could not say for sure that our anger or my friend's anger triggered or caused the malfunctioning of the appliances.  However, it served us well to pay close attention to our emotions in order to stop strong negative emotions from taking hold.  

We are spiritual beings living a physical life.  Our state of being matters.  When we change our way of looking at other people or a situation, we change the outcome too.

If electrical problem happens in your house, please call for a complete inspection for it is better to be safe than sorry.  Both my friend and us had to call the electricians to come to fix the problems.

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My guides and angels had told me again and again the importance of maintaining my peace in all situations.  Now let me share with you another experience which also happened in the restaurant years.    

                         
Every night my husband turned off the fryer before we left the restaurant.  In the morning, he lit the pivot and turned the fryer back on.  It was as easy as ABC to light the pivot.  However, during the time the appliances were malfunctioning, my husband had a hard time lighting the pivot.  It took him a long time and many matches before he could light the pivot.  Of course, he was mad, but he knew we could not afford a new fryer or call in a technician.  One morning while he was cussing and trying to light the pivot, I heard 'Go and stand behind him'.  Naturally, I doubted what I heard.  When I heard my guide asked me to go and stand behind him again, I walked over to the fryer.  As I stood there, he easily lit the pivot.  For the next few days, whenever I saw he needed help lighting the pivot, I went and stood behind him.  It worked time after time, but I did not talk about it.

One day, he looked back at me.  I saw that he was annoyed!  He wondered why I had to watch over him.  

He gave me the box of matches and said: "You must think it is easy to light the pivot.  Why don't you do it?"  

He was surprised I lit the pivot on my first try.  He said: "Since you can do it better than me, it may be you should light the pivot from now on!"  

I looked into his eyes and said: "Everyday when you cannot light the pivot, you lose your cool and begin to cuss.  Does it ever help when you get mad?  I am not more capable than you are.  Don't you remember a Chinese saying 'If you rush to get something done, it is very likely you can't get it done or as fast as you wish'?  Next time take it easy and maintain your peace."

When we lose our peace or feel aggravated, it is more likely things can get even worse.  So it is important to maintain our peace.  For instance, when there is a fire in a high-rise building, it is the one who remains calm and says out loud for others not to use the elevator that saves some lives.

Despite of my husband's behavior, every time I saw how weary and fragile he was, I could not help but looked at him with compassion.  I understood his bitterness and disappointment toward life.  He worked very hard all his life.  His hope of paying for our sons higher education was dashed.  When things did not go well, he looked back at the pains in his life.  He lost his mother when he was 2 years old.  In his teens, his father died.  He was the youngest of four.  The only brother who really loved and cared about him was killed during the Cultural Revolution in China.  So he felt life had not treated him kind.

Sometimes I tried to help him to look at life from another perspective when I observed he was more at ease / peace with life.  I talked about the good in him, reminded him of the wonderful and kind people in his life that he had told me, stories of the touches of God, and good people good deeds.  Occasionally, his face brightened up as he listened.  However, it did not last long.

Everybody had to come to term with life or the truth of life at one's own pace.  I had my own lessons to learn, so had my husband, and our sons.  It was not a coincidence that we came together at this time as a family.  As humans, sometimes we easily blamed others for our misery.  As mentioned earlier, I resented my husband for leaving all the problems for me to handle.  With the passing of time, my resentment seemed to become lesser and lesser.  However, in time of conflict, it would surface like a fleeting shadow in my mind.  One day while I was with the Thursday circle, the facilitator started the circle by talking about resentment.  She said 'even a tiny bit of resentment will in a way block the flow of love'.  Immediately, tears filled my eyes.  When we formed the closing circle, I heartily thanked the facilitator, angels, guides, and the Loving Divine for the words that came through.  Over the years, I realized that self-love was indeed very important.  Each one of us had one's own, unique spiritual journey; I should not be overly concerned or attached to the human labels such as husband and wife or parents and children.  

I share with you my experiences with the hope that we will all look within, and release those unwholesome feelings.  When we hold onto negative feelings such as pain, guilt, anger, or resentment, we are hurting ourselves because we continue to give it power.  

Nowadays when negative view or thought arises in my mind, I mentally say a mantra to clear my mind.  Sometimes I write down how I feel, and surrender the situation or relationship into the loving care of the Divine.  I will end this post with the words of Christ which I find much comfort in time of stress.

Peace I leave with you.  My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you.  Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.    John 14:27          

                                                                                                 

Love,
Q of D

* This post was originally published on September, 13, 2012.  I edited it and decided to publish it again.

In the dream, I kept asking myself, "Why am I here?"

Greetings!

A while back, I had a dream in which I kept asking myself "Why am I here?"  Upon waking up, I saw the time on the clock was 5:53 a.m.  

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I was in a gathering.  The place was spacious.  The host was a woman.  Other than the host and a few others, it seemed we *** were there because we had received invitations to come.  (*** There were probably about 10 to 15 of us.)  The host began the meeting by asking one after another to talk about herself or himself.  As I listened, I realized this was a gathering of healers, and those that were invited were highly regarded healers.  A woman healer said she was clairvoyant.  She talked in length about her healing work.  Another healer shared his healing modality and experiences.  All the while, I wondered why I was there.  I thought they were known healers, but I was not; in fact, not many people knew me as a healer.

Next scene - People were walking back into the place after a break.  (Outside, I saw bright sunlight.)  Some new faces walked among us.  They were not there earlier.

As I walked back inside, I saw a man sat on a long sofa (much longer than the average sofa) near the back of the place.  I recognized him as a well known healer.  (The me in the dream recognized him, but in life I did not know such a person.)  I went to sit on a regular size sofa by the side of the wall.

Two women went to sit on the sofa where the man was.  They were known healers too.  The man sat to the left, one woman sat in the middle, and the other woman sat to the right.  There was a lot of space between the three of them because it was an extra long sofa.  The woman that sat in the middle looked at me with a wonderful smile.  She said to me, "Don't sit there alone!  Come and sit with me!"  I went to sit next to her.  In my heart, I continued to wonder why I was there.

There was a commotion in the front of the hall (i.e. near the entrance).  A young woman said loudly that a particular woman healer should have been invited.  She said the healer had performed many magical healing, and lots of people lined up to receive healing from her everyday.  A small group of people that came with the young woman voiced their support.  In a calm and polite voice, the host said the organization had done a research before sending out the invitations.  The young woman continued to say the healer she knew was very famous and should have been invited. 

Again, I wondered, "Why am I here?"  I felt I did not belong to be there or I was not qualified.

The man sitting on the long sofa said, "She (the young woman) just does not get it.  The host is telling her that the one she tries to promote is not qualified because the organization had done a thorough research.  Those that are invited are real healers."

The me in the dream continued to ask myself "Why am I here?"  I did not understand how I could be one of the healers that were being invited.  

                                            ~       ~       ~       ~       ~       ~

As I woke up, I went over the dream in my mind.  I remembered it clearly, yet only part of the dream was vivid.  For examples, I saw images of the man healer, the extra long sofa, the woman healer that invited me to sit next to her, and the bright sunlight outside.  (As mentioned above, the me in the dream recognized the two healers, yet they were not any healer that I had known or had heard of in life.)  At the time of this writing, I could no longer recall how they looked like except I might have a brief description of them in my journal.  In the dream, it was obvious the gathering was not about glory or honor.  The healers were invited there for a purpose. 

In my experience, my dreams sometimes conveyed an advice or an important message that was relevant to where I was (spiritually speaking), e.g. A Powerful, Profound Dream .  As I contemplated over the dream of "why am I here'', I understood how relevant it was for me to have such a dream at this time.  Afterward, I thought it was time to go back to sleep.  I looked over to the clock.  The time was 6:53 a.m., exactly one hour had gone by. 

I would share my understanding of why I had this dream in my next post.  

The ground is covered with snow.  Stay warm, and may peace be with you always!

Love and blessings,

Q of D

   

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