The Grace of God

Greetings!

Imagine all of a sudden you are hit with a serious illness.  You have no health insurance and little money.  The rest of your family is already under a thick cloud of stress.  You don't want to alarm them and add to their misery.  All you can do is pray. Somehow, you are given a date or you think you are told of a date.  You believe the date is the day you will be healed.  For days and nights, you go through excruciating pain.  You hold onto the faith that you will be healed on the fourth day.  That day comes and goes.  At night, the clock strikes twelve and you are not healed . . . . . . .

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On May 2, 2001, we were going to pick up our older son after we closed up the restaurant.  Before we went, I was alone in the dining room.  Suddenly, I felt a sharp, brief pain on my upper right arm as if I was pricked by a needle.  The pain was gone as soon as I experienced it.  I went into the kitchen to tell my husband.  As usual, he listened and did not respond.  It was a 70 miles drive to our son's campus (or 140 miles round trip).  The school year was over.  Our son would be home for the summer, and would begin his summer job in a store in a week or two.  When we were home, it was past 12:30 a.m. (May 3, 2001).  Knowing that our son was hungry, we made some food.  Somehow, I felt extremely exhausted.  I excused myself and went straight to bed leaving the father and son downstairs eating the food.

I woke up during the night to use the bathroom (probably around two something).  I was horrified to find the right side of my body in intense pain.  A slight movement would cause me so much pain that I almost screamed.  The bathroom was just a few steps away, but it took me quite some time to drag myself back into the bedroom.  I did not want to wake my family up.  They needed the sleep.   Everyone in the family was already in a lot of stress.  I tried to lie down, but any movement that involved the right side of the body caused me tremendous pain.  I sat through the night.

In the morning, I told my son that he had to go and help his father in the restaurant.  I would have given him some days off if I could since he just came back from college.  I told my husband to put the iron board in the bedroom so that I could lean on it to go to the bathroom.  I also asked him to burn some incense and place them on the dresser in front of the mirror.

After they left, I prayed with all my heart and soul.  "God, I don't know why this is happening.  God, you know we don't have health insurance and we don't have money.  I am very grateful you have blessed us with two good sons.  Life has been very difficult, but I am grateful for this life experience for I know you are with me.  Our son will begin his summer job soon, and my husband cannot take care of the restaurant business by himself.  God, please heal me."  Then I received a message.

           "It is by the Grace of God this is happening now" and the date "May 6".

I thought May 6 was the day I would be healed.  I said, "God, I accept this experience. However, please let the pain be bearable.  My husband already has more than he can take.  I don't want him to worry about me.  Please bless him so that he continues to sleep well during the night.  Please bless our sons.  With school and work supporting themselves as well as the restaurant, they already go through a lot.  Thank you, God."

The pain was excruciating.  At night, I had to sit very still.  If I dozed off, a sharp pain would wake me up because my body moved.  On Friday, I felt even worse.  The right side of my body was burning and hurting from head to toe as if thousands of needles were inside.  In addition, I had a terrible headache.  On Saturday May 5, I finally agreed to see a doctor for the pain and headache were unbearable.  We found a doctor from the ad on the newspaper.  Over the phone, we learned the fee for an office visit was very affordable.  On arrival, we saw that it was nothing like a regular doctor's office.  The doctor said I could regain the use of my right hand in a few months, and it would take six months for a full recovery.  I did not and could not believe in what he said.  At home, I threw away the bottle of painkillers.  Hope against hope, I held onto the faith that I would be healed the next day (May 6).

On May 6, the excruciating pain remained and there was not a bit of relief.  Before midnight, my sons walked into my bedroom to say good night.  They asked how I felt.  I had not told my family about the message.  They did not know my hope was dashed.  I could not utter a word.  I signaled for them to go to bed.  As they were leaving, my younger son suddenly said with excitement in his voice, "Mom, I smell the fragrance near the dresser!"  I was deep in my pain and disappointment.  I could not respond to his excitement.

There I sat.  May 6 was over.  However, I did not have the time to dwell on if I had indeed received the message because the pain was continuous and excruciating.  All I could do was said it in my heart over and over again, "God, please heal me.  God, please heal me."  In the four days and nights, I had repeated it countless times.  In many ways, it was this chanting for help that gave me some relief or distraction from the pain.  Around two something, I dragged myself to the bathroom.  When I came back, I smelt the fragrance.  I sat on the bed.  I heard a soft 'pop' sound above my head.  It was like the sound of blowing at a candle on a birthday cake.  Something similar to a low current of electricity entered the top of my head, went down my whole body, and came out of my feet.  All my pain disappeared.  I dropped to bed and slept for the first time since May 3.

In the morning of May 7, I woke up feeling much better.  The pain was gone, and the right side of my body was back to normal.  I realized May 6 was in truth the last day of the ordeal.  My son insisted that I stayed home to rest some more.  On May 9, I resumed working in the restaurant by myself.  I wanted my son to have some time hanging out with his friends before he began his summer job.

Indeed, it was the Grace of God that I went through this ordeal during that time.  Our sons attended different universities.  They did not have a car.  Our family of four relied on one old car.  Our younger son could not help his father if I got sick earlier because he began his summer job at the university in the last week of April.  It was truly the Grace of God it happened right after we brought our older son home so that he could help his father in the restaurant.  Furthermore, since I was healed, I was able to drive him to and from work when he began his summer job.

In the days that followed, I smiled a lot.  My heart was filled with gratitude and the love of God.

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In my family, our younger son was the only one I shared with some of my spiritual experiences.  My husband and our older son were not interested in hearing anything mystical or spiritual.  I had told my younger son I felt a wonderful presence around me from time to time.  Whenever it happened, I smelt the fragrance.  On a few occasions, my younger son smelt the fragrance too.  That was why he excitedly told me about the fragrance near the dresser.  Looking back, there seemed to be a timing element in the whole ordeal.  The being or angel was obviously there before midnight, but I wasn't healed until I went through the pain experience for four days and nights (from the time I found myself in pain to the time I was healed).

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I would like to take this opportunity to talk about the difference of personalities in a family.

On the surface, my husband and our older son are not that open to spirituality.  It may not necessary be so.  I have heard some people express their frustration over their loved one's unwillingness to evolve spiritually.  However, I have come to understand each one of us comes into a lifetime with different plans setting out to learn different lessons.  No one can learn a lesson for another.  We take on different personalities in order to play the roles we choose,  but we are neither our personalities nor the roles we play.  In truth, nobody is what he or she appears to be, and nobody is inferior or superior to another.  Our family members may be there to create lessons for us to learn (such as lessons of acceptance, non-judgment), and so are our presence in their life.

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Life is like taking a ride on the rise and ebb of the sea.  Over the years, I have learned that in every turbulent ride of the tidal wave, there is the Grace of God.  Sometimes we may fail to see grace as we go through the turbulence or dramas of life.  It may be because the healing or outcome does not happen as we wish.  However, in gratitude and love, we know the Grace of God or the opportunity to experience the Love of God is ever-present.

Peace and Love,
Q of D