Edward Snowden, and, the line between right or wrong

Greetings!

Have you watched Brian William's interview with Edward Snowden on NBC?  I have. Sometimes there is no clear line between right or wrong because our views of right and wrong vary.  If you want to read more on Edward Snowden, please know that it is not what this post is about.

Some years ago, I watched on the TV a true story of a whistle-blower who was an IRS employee.  He found many people used the same fraud tactic to cheat the government out of money.  He went to his supervisor with proofs.  The supervisor said his job was mainly to process the tax returns as fast as he could, and it was not his responsibility to find out who was cheating.

He could not let it go because he felt he was doing the right thing for his country.  He went to different avenues to report the fraud.  He was ignored, warned, and eventually fired.  It took years of legal action to clear his name.  He went through lots of angst and frustration which he had not expected.  What happened to him was not an isolated case.  Other whistle-blowers had similar experiences too.  Sometimes when people stood up for what they felt was right, they were mocked as fools.  It was no surprise that most people chose to go to work, got their paychecks, and ignored the wrong they saw or knew.

In the recent GM massive recalls,  I had as yet heard anybody said anything about the responsibility of the former GM CEO who stepped down right before the big recalls.

When I was in secondary school, a Chinese history teacher told us he had worked for the Japanese during the Japanese invasion of China.  He was captured by the Japanese.  They forced him to work in a jail where many Chinese were being held because he could speak some Japanese.  He found purpose in what he did by secretly aiding those in need such as giving them water and food.  He said the Japanese soldiers tortured many Chinese in unspeakable cruel horrific ways.  He had washed the wounds of many Chinese after they were being tortured.  He had comforted those that were losing hope.  He said, "Some Chinese might regard me as a traitor because I worked in the jail, but, I did not regret what I did.  I was glad I could help some of my fellow countrymen during that dark period of time."

We might not have been in situations like the IRS whistle-blower or the history teacher. However, most of us must have come across situations involving others that called for our decision as how to handle them.  For instance, a worker saw another worker stole things in the factory; a court employee worked under a judge who always arrived late and left the court whenever he wanted.  In fear of retaliation or reprisal, many of us chose to keep quiet in cases like these.  What would you do if you were the worker or the court employee?

Before I moved to USA, I had faced a few situations at work which called for my decisions too.  I would like to share two of them here.

I was hired to handle the shipping department.  Other than taking care of the shipping schedule and documents, all the expenses of our department had to come through me before I passed them to the accounts department.  I soon found one of the office messengers was dishonest.  He changed the amount on the postal receipt and charged the company more than it should be.  For instance, the mailing charge of a parcel was $18; he changed the 1 to 4 and charged the company for $48.  I did not report it because I did not want to get him fired.  When I asked him about the cost, he said without a blink that $48 was the amount the post office charged him!  I told him I was very knowledgeable about mailing parcels for I had worked in a mail order company.  It was my way of warning him.

I was new in the office.  He was in his 30 s, and had worked there before me.  The former person who was in charge probably never cared to look at the receipts.  That was why he was not caught.  He did not take my warning seriously.  It might be I was young (I was about 21 or 22 at that time).  Few days later, he did it again.  When I questioned him, he flatly denied any wrongdoing.  I looked at him.  I said, "It definitely does not cost that much to mail the parcel.  Don't do it again.  I mean it."

One day, he added a 1 in front of the actual amount charging the company $100 more.   After 3 strikes, I passed the information to the head of the accounting department who was in his 60 s to investigate and handle the situation.  I really, really did not want to get anybody fired, but I must do what I had to do.

Another situation involved the owner of a company.  He owned three factories.  One day, the head of a factory got hurt while fixing a machine.  (I would call him Mr. Wong in this post.)  One of his hands was injured.  Each factory had its own office, but the owner brought the insurance forms back to the main office.  He asked me to file a claim for insurance.

Some days later, I got a call from Mr. Wong.  He was released from his position.  With his hand injury, the owner felt he could no longer do his job.  I was very sorry to hear that.  Personally, I felt the owner should have placed him in another position where he could at least earn a living.  At that time in where we lived, he might be able to get some assistance from the government, but there was no unemployment or disability benefit.  Mr. Wong wanted to find out when he could get the insurance money for he had a family.  I told him it took time for the insurance company to process a claim, and I would try my best to see if it could be expedited.

I called the insurance company regularly.  Mr. Wong called me every few days.  The owner also asked about the claim every time he came to the office.  He spent most of his time in the factories, and visited the main office for about an hour everyday.

Many weeks went by.  I could hear the desperation in Mr. Wong's voice.  One day, I learned the insurance company had sent out a check to the owner.  It was mailed to the factory.  The owner stopped asking about the claim.  Meanwhile, Mr. Wong's call continued.  When the owner came to the office, I told him Mr. Wong called.  I wanted to make sure the insurance money was received before I told Mr. Wong.  The owner walked into his own office without saying a word.  He was obviously annoyed.  I asked him again the next day.  He glared at me, and then stormed out of the office.

I realized the owner was not about to give the money to Mr. Wong, at least not for the time being.  When Mr. Wong called, I could not tell him the truth that the owner had the money which was rightfully his.  He got hurt and lost his job as the head of a factory.  If he learned about that, there might be a big confrontation between him and the owner.  What should I do?  After a long thought, I knew what to do.

When the owner came to the office, I looked at him and said, "Mr. Wong called.  He asked about the insurance money."  He glared at me.  I could see the anger in his eyes.  I did not look away.  I looked back at him with calmness.  He knew I knew he had the insurance money.  He did not come to the office for a couple of days.  When he showed up, I said the same words.  I was not afraid of being fired.  In fact, I had decided I would submit my resignation letter (i.e. a 2-week notice) the day I knew Mr. Wong got his compensation* or the insurance money.  I would not work for someone who had no integrity and compassion.

The plan worked.  One day, Mr. Wong called.  Over the phone, he thanked me profusely which I did not deserve at all.  On the same day, I handed in my resignation. Wherever I worked, I gave my all.  In all fairness, the owner had treated me with respect.  I got a few raises during my 3 years with the company.

Unexpectedly, the owner and his wife came to the office the next day.  For three days, they tried to talk me into staying, and promised to give me a raise.  It might be the business was better since I came.  However, money was never a factor in my decisions.  My mind was set, and I left.

I could not say I was right or wrong in the two situations that I shared.  Most of us handled the situations that came up in our lives the best we knew how.  That is how life is.

What do I think about the Snowden case?  Well, in this mundane world, some are called heroes for no actual heroic act, and many see whistle-blowers as fools.  Some stand up or speak up hoping for fame and fortune, or get on a cause out of personal agenda.  Some think they do it for the right cause, but their actions bring chaos, violence, and harm to many innocent people.  Some stand up for their ideal of a good society.  They do it knowing they may go to jail,  and award / reward is never on their mind.  Where does Mr. Snowden stand in all of these questions?

Has Mr. Snowden handled his situation correctly?  I don't know.

Although there is no clear line between right and wrong, as a fellow human being, most of us probably agree violence and killing of innocent people is wrong.

I like the words on a Christmas ornament which I keep on the computer desk - Cherish, Smile, Live, Love, Laugh, Sing, Play and Dream.  I know everything is going to be alright when I remember to Cherish, Smile, Live, Love, Laugh . . . . . .

Love,
Q of D

*For your information, it was not a whole lot of money.  I did not know how much he used to earn.  It probably equaled to 6 or 8 month of his salary. In his situation, he definitely needed the money to support his family.

It takes courage to walk away from a conflict

Greetings!

There was a confrontation between the father and son yesterday.  It began when our son tried to start a conversation with his father.  He made a comment about the movie on the TV, and asked for his father's opinion.

I knew our son did it out of good intention.  He wanted to show his father he cared about him by talking to him.  Since the restaurant years, his father had bottled up his emotions and acted distant.  He could sit all day without saying a word if we did not take the initiative to talk to him.  He had not let go of his bitterness towards life because of the restaurant business.

Instead of saying his opinion, my husband said some very harsh words about our son's simple comment of the movie.  Of course, our son did not expect such strong negative reaction at all.  And, the confrontation started.

I stayed in my peace.  I learned from my experiences that anything I said would be considered as taking sides.  Still, I jumped in once in a while saying 'I know you do it out of good intention, but your father cannot see it' and 'no matter what, you cannot say that to your father because you are a son'.

The father and son continued to get at each another with words.  Hearing those ridiculous words again and again, I burst out laughing. 

Our son protested, "Mom, you make things worse when you laugh!"
 
Looking at him, I said peacefully ***, "I am the new me.  I will laugh when I feel like laughing.  I used to feel dismay when you and your father argued.  Not anymore.  I find it laughable that both of you say those hurtful words that you don't really mean.  You know it is wrong.  You want to stop, but you don't know how for your father's loud voice adds to the tension.  He yells because it is his way to overpower others.  At his age, your father probably won't change much except if he really wants to.  To walk away takes courage.  It is not weak."

Our son who always put out a warrior mentality paused for a while.  He stopped arguing.  Later, he apologized to his father.

                                            ~       ~       ~       ~       ~       ~

Life is not only about right and wrong.  If it is, we may fight to no end.  

I am glad our son chose to let it go.  Indeed, it takes courage to walk away from a conflict.  With our human nature, many of us want to win; we want to prove we are right or prove that others have wronged us.  Some people think we can always talk it out and clear any conflict.  If that is the case, there should be no war in the world.  Earth is a school.  Life lessons pop up here and there.  It is worth taking some time to contemplate over a situation (or a relationship), and handle it as best as we can. 

May peace be with you always.

Love,
Q of D

*** In the above situation, I talked to my son in English.

When our sons were young, I talked to them in Chinese.  I wanted the father and sons to be able to talk to one another since my husband (or their father) knew very little English.  I encouraged my husband to talk to our sons more.  At the time, our sons spoke and understood Chinese well.  However, my husband always said he did not know what to say, and it was the women's job to raise children.  When I asked him to praise sons, sometimes he added his own view or criticism.  (For example, our son got the highest mark in class, he praised him and said, "You got one wrong!  Next time you have to get every question right."  With our difference in temperament and personality, there were times life situations really got to me.  Luckily, these situations no longer bothered me that much.