Wednesday, November 29, 2023

IS IT YOUR BUSINESS?

Greetings!

I was in the middle section of a frozen food aisle.  An item that I wanted had been sold out on the lower shelves, but there seemed to be a few left on the top shelf.  

A frail elderly man walked by.  He was not looking in my direction, and seemed to be looking for something.  He walked to a woman in the front.  He said he was looking for some kind of vegetable.  He asked if the woman knew where to find it.  The woman said she did not know and walked away.  The man looked confused, and wondered aloud if the store still sold them.  It was a very common vegetable that was available in all stores, but he should have looked for it in the fresh produce department.  From the man's way of being, I realized his mind might not be as sharp as it used to be.  The man with his shopping cart was then near the end of the aisle, and was about to turn to the next frozen food aisle.

Hurriedly, I rushed forward.  The aisle was wide, and I knew it was quite alright to leave my shopping cart behind.  I caught up with the man, and told him I knew where the vegetable he was looking for.  He followed me to the fresh produce department.  When I pointed at the vegetable, he let out a sigh of relief "oh, that is what I am looking for."

When I got back to where my shopping cart was, I looked up at the top shelf and thought 'now, it is time for me to ask for help."  I turned my head, and saw a woman stood behind me smiling.  She was a few inches taller than me.  She reached into the freezer and got what I wanted.  I thanked her from my heart.

In my heart, I also thanked the divine.  How likely it was that I needed help and someone was right there ready to help!  I lived in gratitude because I recognized the beauty and wonders in life.  

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Due to the differences in our personality, we handled situations or what came up in life differently.  In my case, I followed my heart, and had not thought of right, wrong or trying to do good.  

One day long ago (before I got married), I rushed to the bathroom as soon as I got home.  I washed my hands for a long time.  My family wondered why.  I told them what happened.

At the time, I worked in an office that was far away.  If I took the bus, I had to get off one bus and wait at a bus stop to get on another bus in order to go home.  While I was at the bus stop waiting for another bus, an old woman appeared before me.  She said, "Miss, would you please help me up the stairs to where I live.  She pointed at an old building behind the bus stop.  Immediately, I said 'yes' because she looked old and weak.  She extended her hands before me so that I could help her.  It was then I saw the horrible condition of her hands and arms.  I did not know how to describe them - rotten might be the word.  "Miss, are you going to help me?" she asked again.  I took a deep breath.  I reached out to her hand and walked her to the building.  As I stood in front of the stairs, I saw that it was one of those old, old 3 - story buildings with straight upward stairs.  She told me she lived on the top floor!  I pushed her up each stair by holding onto her elbows and arms and supporting her body by standing close behind her.  After helping her, I did not dare to look at the ground below because the staircase was steep.  I placed my whole focus on every next step.  

My brother said, "You should have said 'no'."

I said, "She definitely needed help to go up those stairs."

My brother asked, "Is it your business?"

After a pause, he said, "Are there other people at the bus stop?"

I said, "Yes, there are many people at the bus stop."

He said, "You could have told her that you were not strong enough to help her up the stairs.  Have you ever thought of the fact that - since she could come down by herself, she should be able to walk up too?  Besides, you could have called out from the ground for a member of her family to come and help her."

I never thought of all that he said.  That day I really feared my hands might get some sort of infection.  After some days, I was relieved nothing happened and my hands were fine.

On a few other occasions, my brother also said, "Is it your business?"  For instance, when I learned I would be getting another raise (I already got 2 raises), I asked the owner to give the raise to a coworker who told me she had never gotten a raise.

My husband and loved ones sometimes said to me "Is it your business" too meaning I should not get involved or care what went on.  For instance, I felt something bad was going on in a school bus, my husband told me it was none of my business.  (Re Together we can change the world )

Some years ago, there was a few teens in the neighborhood that said racial words whenever they saw me taking walks in the school fields.  Sometimes they purposely rode their bikes toward me to scare me, but I was never scared.  (I wish to point out that most teenagers were polite and did not behave as they did.)  In racist circumstances, sometimes I spoke up, and at other times I did not.  It all depended on the situation.  In this situation, I chose to ignore their behavior.  At their age, some might not be racist but followers of the one that needed to call others names in order to feel good.

When my son learned about it, he wanted me to identify those teens.  I refused to.  I said his way of handling the situation was not what I preferred.  I was always alert of my surrounding and knew what to do.  I assured him I would be safe.  

One day, I saw these teens in a distance.  They stared at me and talked to each other for a while as if plotting something.  I was at ease.  My angels and guides were always with me.  I had no fear.  Soon one of the teens rode his bike at full speed toward me.  I calmly remained standing where I was.  They just wanted to scare me, I thought.  If I got hurt, they knew they would be in trouble.  If the teen continued to move in my direction, I could quickly push his bike to the side or quickly move out of the way.  I wanted them to learn the lesson that I was not afraid of them.  The teen was shocked that I remained where I was.  He had to turn the wheels abruptly, and ended up falling hard on the ground.  I rushed over to ask him if he was okay.  I was genuinely concerned, because after all, I was a mother.  His chest was red.  He was in pain.  At the same time, he did not dare to look at me as if he was embarrassed or ashamed.  His friends came to help him up.  They were obviously in shock.  They walked away quietly.

When I was home, I told my son what had happened.  He was upset that I actually asked if the teen was okay.  He said, "Is it your business if he was okay?  For goodness sake, he tried to run you down!"  I knew it was hard for him to understand.

I did not see these teens gathered in the school field again.

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IS   IT   YOUR   BUSINESS?

When the title came to me, I never knew how the post would go.  I just realized 'is it your business' were words people said to me.  However, I did not ask / rarely asked myself that question when things suddenly unfolded before me.  (For examples,  The unfolding of a test and The Gathering)  In situations where I had more time to think / plan, sometimes I actually withdrew from what I should do or wanted to do.  

What would you do if you overheard what the elderly man said?  

Could you imagine the joy when I turned to see the woman who was ready to give me a hand?

In this post, I used the word 'elderly' with a smile.  I am a senior citizen myself.  It is good to be where I am at.  (Re Growing old in Grace )

Love and Blessings,
Q of D