A Lesson of Judgment in my teens

Greetings!

When I was a teenager, A talk among girls about the criteria of an ideal husband had an impact on my view of relationships.  Here is another experience that changed me. It happened in my early teens.

In the place I came from, we had different teachers teaching different subjects with one of the teachers as the head teacher of the class.  There were 45 students in each class.  The head teacher assigned the seats.  Normally, the teacher assigned a boy sitting next to a girl.  Every two to three months, the teacher reassigned the seats so that the students got to interact with different students during a school year.

One day, 6 or 7 of us (girls) happened to talk about the boys in the class.  One girl talked about the boys she disliked.  She hoped the teacher would not assign her to sit next to them.  Others joined in.  Each mentioned some names.  When it was my turn, I thought for a while.  I said, "I hope I will not sit next to X because he is too quiet.  I don't want to sit next to Y.  Though I don't really know him, he seems to be rude.  I don't like Z.  He is cocky."  (Yes, I was judgmental.)

A couple of weeks later, the teacher reassigned our seats.  I was surprised I had to sit next to X.  He was quiet, but we did talk.  We got along fine.

A couple of months later, the teacher assigned our seats again.  As if the Divine played a joke on me, Y was assigned to sit next to me!  After a couple of weeks, I realized he might act somewhat different from others, but he was not rude.  It was his way of being, and I was wrong to judge him.

One day, he said he had heard I was the best in Chinese chess among girls.  He told me he was the best among boys.  He wanted to play a game of Chinese chess with me.  I did not know who said that to him.  Girls seldom played Chinese chess.  I might have won some games, but I was not good in Chinese chess.  At home, I lost to my older brother all the time.  I refused to play Chinese chess with Y.

For days, he persisted.  He said he won all the time playing Chinese chess, but had not played any match with girls.  Since he heard I was good in Chinese chess, he really wanted to have a match with me.  Finally, I said, "I am not good in Chinese chess.  Since you insist, I will play one game with you.  Win or lose, I will only play one game.  You have to promise me that you will not ask for a rematch."  He promised.  When class was over, we stayed to play a game.  The game did not last long.  I felt sorry looking at the expression on his face.  (I truly did.)  He kept his promise.  He did not ask for a rematch.  He was back to himself the next day.  We respected each other.

When it was time to reassign our seats, I thought there was no way the teacher would assign Z and I to sit together.  The last two times happened by chance, I thought.  It did not happen to other girls in the talk.  A few of us (incl. me) had laughed about the coincidence.  Did it happen again?  It did.  Through our interaction, I found out Z was not cocky as I had thought.

At the time, I did not know anything about the higher self, angels, or guides.  In retrospect, the experience could be a lesson of judgment brought about by the Divine (angels, guides, higher self...).  This incredible coincidence made me realize that I was wrong to judge others.  Everybody had one's own way of being.  I should not use my measures to judge others, but accept them as they were.  I learned it took time to know another person.  With understanding, most of us could be friends.  I decided to treat others with acceptance and respect as I did with my classmates.

Many Blessings,
Q of D

P.S.  As a mother, I observe the difference between the Chinese culture and the American culture.  Here in America, children talk about boyfriend and girlfriend at an early age.  In my time, we went to school to learn.  Boys and girls talked in class. However, girls normally hung out with girls during breaks, and so were boys.  In higher grades in secondary school, only a very few might be seen as boyfriend and girlfriend.

The U.S. Citizenship Examination

Greetings!

A relative visited us yesterday.  He said he had submitted an application for U.S. Citizenship a month or two ago.  He expected to receive a letter with the time and date for an interview soon.  He asked me to go with him for the U.S. Citizenship examination.  He had lived in U.S.A. for over 20 years, and was qualified to take the Chinese version of the exam.  He said he had studied all the questions and answers.

Today I went online to download the Chinese and English versions of the exam.  Our relative was the one to take the citizenship examination, but I must know both versions so that I could translate correctly.  Some Chinese who did not speak English assumed those who spoke English could easily translate English into Chinese or vice versa.  It was not the case at all.

Once I was in a formal setting where an appointed translator was present.  The translator (An Asian who spoke many Asian languages) might have graduated in USA with a nursing degree, but she was neither proficient in English nor Chinese.  Her translations were totally wrong.  Eventually, I had to speak up.  It was then the Asian woman confirmed what I said was true, but she was too embarrassed to admit she could not translate the languages.  It was the most awkward situation I was in.

I fully understood I was far from proficiency in the English language.  For instance, before I came to U.S.A., I did not know anything about cars.  I knew neither the components of a car in Chinese nor English.  When our first car kept stalling at traffic lights and crossroads, we brought it back to the dealership.  However, after many visits, the problem remained.  One day, I read an article about car problems and maintenance in the newspaper.  I learned the problem might be caused by a crack in the carburetor (a new word to me).  We went back to the car dealership and asked them to check the carburetor.  There was indeed a hairline crack.  They said they did not check the carburetor earlier because there should not be any crack since it was a new car.  After that visit, the problem was fixed.

Our relative told us his wife took the English version of the exam. a few years ago, but she failed twice.  She now resigned to wait a few more years so that she could qualify to take the exam. in Chinese.  It was then I recalled I had offered to help her, but she declined.  She spoke some English, and worked in a place where many of her coworkers were Americans.  She said her coworkers had promised to repeatedly ask her the questions on the exam.  She was sure she would pass with flying colors.  It might be she had come across an examiner who was very strict, or she was very nervous at the time of the examination.

Our relative was surprised to hear that my husband passed the exam. in English on his first trial.  Even back then (30+ years ago), many of those who knew my husband were surprised.  Well, lots of hard work were involved, and it also had much to do with my husband's determination to bring his side of the family (his siblings and their families) to USA.

Every night, my husband came home from work around 11 pm.  After he ate, we went to work.  I taught him English from the basic lower and upper case letters.  Then we moved onto simple English words such as car, cat, house, drive, walk, and work.  I had a list of 108 questions.  I repeatedly asked him 8 to 10 questions at a time.  I used different wordings to ask him the same questions.  Later, I recorded the questions with a recorder.  I wanted him to pay attention to the question or what he heard.  I came up with the possible sentences that he might be asked to write.  For examples, I drive a car to work, I live with my wife / family in a house, and I am a good cook.

I did not go with my husband to his citizenship exam. interview.  I stayed home to take care of our sons.  Two of his friends went with him.  Later, I learned his friends had to stay outside of the room.  He was alone in the room with the examiner.  He said the examiner was kind and patient.  He had no problem answering the questions that we had worked on, but stumbled a bit when the examiner asked him to answer the questions on the application forms.  (I did not expect that.)  When the examiner said a sentence and asked him to write it down, my husband was relieved he knew the words!

After our relative left, my husband said he had forgotten almost everything that he had learned for the examination.  Like him, I forgot some of the questions and answers too.  I definitely needed to go over them before I went with the relative for his appointment.

It snowed on Sunday.  Today is sunny and bright.  Wherever you are, may you feel joy and peace!

Many blessings,
Q of D

P.S.  Every time the relative came to our place, I asked him 8 to 10 questions.  He passed the citizenship examination with ease.  

CD & books by Deepak - gifts from my loved ones

Greetings!

Today must be my lucky day.  I receive four gifts from my loved ones.

The Secret of Healing - Meditations for Transformation & Higher Consciousness CD

The Book of Secrets - Unlocking the Hidden Dimensions of Your Life

Reinventing the Body, Resurrecting the Soul  - How to Create a New You

The Spontaneous Fulfillment of Desire - Harnessing the Infinite Power of Coincidence

The CD and books are all by Deepak Chopra, a wonderful spiritual teacher.  Every now and then, Deepak Chopra and Oprah facilitate free 21-Day online meditations. Currently, there is a 21-Day meditation on Shedding the Weight : Mind, Body and Spirit.  However, today is the 20th day, the second last day.  If you are interested, please go to their website to check out their meditation CD and books.

Why do I recommend meditations facilitate by Oprah and Deepak?  I can feel energy. Every time I log in, wonderful energy begins to pulsate around my crown and my whole body.  I believe it has everything to do with the intention and energy of the loving brothers and sisters at the Deepak Center.

We can find many meditations and healing music online, but the energy of each may not be the same.  I often go online to listen to the messages channeled by a spiritual teacher from U.K.  The energy she channels through is very loving and powerful. There is another person who reads the transcript and repeats her message.  This person's voice was clear, yet the energy is not the same.

To my loved ones, thank you for the gifts.

To my friends, may all of us embrace life with ease and joy (the centering thought of today's meditation) !

Love,
Q of D