Around five something this morning, I woke up 'hearing' the song You Are My Sunshine. It went on and on. As I was wondering why, suddenly this song reminded me of an incident that happened years ago. It was then I remembered I had asked for inspiration as what to write before I went to sleep! I supposed it was in divine order I shared with you this experience.
I was guided to join a circle in a holistic center on May 26, 2005. We met every Thursday morning from ten to noon. At the end of the gathering, we formed a healing circle. We could voice our concerns, or simply said the names of those who needed healing. We could also keep them in our hearts without speaking up.
Some time in 2006, a friend whom I greatly loved and respected said her daughter's name whenever we formed the healing circle. She always said her name with so much love that touched me deeply because 'I am a mother too'. Obviously, she was very concerned about her daughter. Due to my quiet nature, I was not comfortable asking questions. At night, I included my friend and her daughter in my prayers.
One Thursday, I arrived late. As I sat down, I noticed a young lady whom I had never met before was sitting to my left. She turned out to be my friend's daughter.
The next morning, I woke up thinking about this mother and daughter. When I was afraid to speak in English, my friend encouraged me. She believed in me more than I believed in myself. On many occasions after I spoke up during the circle, she came and held my hands. Looking into my eyes, she said: "You are wonderful! Your words are so profound." It was not how great her comments about me that moved me. It was the truthfulness in her voice that touched me. On Thursday, I had wanted to hold the young lady's hands just as her mother had held mine, and told her what a wonderful being she was. I did not do that because she might not be comfortable with that.
I felt the young lady would not come to the circle again. I wondered how I could reach out to her. It came to me I could write her a letter. By writing a letter, I would be talking to her even though I would not send it out. Strangely, there was this sense of urgency that I should write the letter NOW! I rushed downstairs to the dining room. Sitting by the table, I found that I could not spell her name correctly. It was a name I knew well! However, there was a block in my mind. I could not figure out how to spell her name. I decided to start writing the letter with the spelling I came up with. I spelled her name with 'nine' at the end which I knew was wrong. I fully trust it was the intention of love that mattered. Below was part of the letter.
This morning I think of you and your mother. On a few occasions, your mother came and held my hands after the circle was over. Looking into my eyes, she said: "You are wonderful! Your words are profound." It was not the comments of me that moved me. It was the truthfulness in her voice that touched my heart. I told your mother: "What you see in me is in you. You are the one who is truly wonderful!" That was the truth from my heart.
I am a daughter as well as a mother of two sons who are about your age. As a daughter, my mother's love for me is forever a great force in my life. She moved on in 1984. As a mother, my sons are the sunshine of my life. It is my love for them and their love for me that carry me through the most difficult years of my life.
You are also the sunshine in your mother's life. I know you know it is true.
When I look at my sons, my heart is filled with gratitude. I thank God all the time for blessing me with them. Before we come into a physical life, we choose our parents. Yes, children choose their parents, and it is not the other way round. It is an honor to be chosen as a mother. In my quiet times, I always thank my sons for choosing me as their mother.
~~In the letter I went on to tell her more about my sons. I told her my sons were very different in personalities. We took on different personalities because we set out to learn different life lessons. We are all children of God. All our experiences were relevant. Her experiences were precious because it was through our experiences we learned and grew.~~
(the name of the young lady), yesterday I had wanted to hold your hands as your mother had held mine. I wanted to look into your eyes and tell you 'the wonderful young lady that you are'. I am simple. I always speak from my heart. Indeed, you are a wonderful being, and your mother loves you dearly.
Your mother is an earth angel. Her warmth and light have uplifted all of us. I envision, one of these days, you will stand side by side with your mother helping many spiritual seekers as what your mother is doing now . . . . . . . . .When I finished the letter, I went over to the living room. I turned on the TV. It was 9:46 a.m. The show "Live! With Regis and Kelly" was on.
On the screen was the name I could not spell
Regis was trying to pay a surprise visit to a lady with the same first name. On the bottom of the TV screen were words explaining what went on as Regis walked quietly towards the woman. During those brief seconds, the name I could not spell was seen on the TV again and again. I stood there in awe. I would have missed this part of the show if I had not finished the letter in divine timing. Tears of gratitude filled my eyes. I knew the Loving Divine had heard my prayer for the young lady.
Two weeks later, I shared the experience with my circle. I told them I forgot how to spell the name. I wrote the name with 'nine' at the end. At 9:46 a.m. I turned on the TV, and the name was on the screen. Amazingly, my friend told me 9 was an important number in her daughter's life. She was number 9 in her class. She was born on the 19th of a month. Her sports uniforms were either 19 or 39. My friend also pointed out 9:46 added up to 19!
Life is full of wonders and God is truly in all that we do.
Love,
Q of D
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