Wednesday, December 31, 2014

A Splendid New Year To All

Greetings!

I wonder what I am going to write on my last post of 2014.

In the years past, I had fallen into the pressure of the day, which we called it either the last day of a year or the eve of a new year.  I had written down many wish lists and goals with full intention and expectation.

Today I have decided I will not make any new year's resolution.  My desires and wishes are already known to the universe (or my universe), and I know any new desire that arises will immediately be received too.  I will settle in and let them unfold. Every day is a new day, and every moment is a new moment.  All is well in the universe.  I always know what to do in the moment of now.  Right now, I am enjoying the peace of the day.

To all of you, a Joyful New Year's Eve and a Splendid New Year!

Love,
Q of D

 

Monday, December 22, 2014

The Great Gray Cat - Conclusion

Greetings!

Please click to view Part 1 and Part 2 if you have not read the posts.

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It was late winter.  We had another snowfall.  For a few days, snow covered the ground and the bushes outside of the apartments.  I had not seen the cat for quite some days.  Looking at the snow, I wondered if he was all right.  At night, I prayed for the cat.  I hope he stayed inside a home or somewhere warm.

One night, I dreamed of the cat.

In the dream, I was sleeping in our sons' bedroom.  (When our sons lived on campuses, sometimes I slept in their bedroom.  The family room and kitchen were on the lower floor, and the bedrooms were on the upper floor.)  Though I lay in bed, the dream me saw what went on around me and outside of the apartment.  On the lawn outside of the apartments, the next door woman who disliked the cat was talking to a man.  I saw the cat on the grass outside of our apartment.  He looked healthy and strong.  There was light surrounding him.

The cat jumped up to the window ledge.  He was then inside the bedroom even though the windows were closed.  He jumped up the bed, and rested on my chest.  I was filled with tremendous warmth and love.  I looked at the cat.  There was something peculiar about him.  On one side of his body, his striped gray white hair seemed to be enfolded in a strange, transparent, light blue or light neon blue field of energy.  Furthermore, the hair on the back of that side of his body stood upwards.  Despite of the peculiar look, his hair was soft, shiny, and beautiful.  I 'got' it from the cat that he was fine.

Next, the cat was back on the lawn.  A sheet of ice now covered the grass.  The woman and the man looked at the cat.  They seemed to be talking about him.  The cat never looked at them.  Proudly, he walked away with his head held up high.  His hair was now back to normal.  He looked healthy and strong as he first appeared on the lawn.  He had no problem walking on the ice at all.

When I woke up from the dream, I knew the cat had moved on.  I did not dare to talk to my sons about the dream.  They loved the cat.  Hope against hope, we (including me) prayed the cat was alive.

In May, our older son came home from the university.  He looked everywhere for the cat.  One day while he was out looking for the cat again, the maintenance man happened to walk back to his apartment which was not far from ours.  He told our son the cat had died in the late winter snowfall.  He found his body under the bushes near his apartment after the snow began to melt.  He said the cat died lying on one side.  When he picked him up, part of his body was encased in ice.  His words explained what I saw in the dream.  We felt sad about the cat's passing.

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When I was young, I often woke up talking about my dreams.  My family eventually called me 'the Queen of Dreams'.  Later, I stopped sharing my dreams because I observed the adults were not interested in hearing them.  My husband told me he rarely remembered his dreams.  He wanted to dream about his mother who died when he was a toddler.  He was disappointed he never recalled seeing her in his dreams.  I knew our sons had dreams because they talked in their sleep.  However, most of the time, they did not remember their dreams.  On the occasions they remembered their dreams and shared with me, I found their dreams were meaningful and profound just liked mine were, except they did not give much thought to their dreams.

Amazingly, my loved ones actually remembered they had dreams about the cat.  Our sons said the cat often came to play with them just as when he was alive.  My husband said he had only one dream about the cat.  In his dream, rain was pouring, and the cat stood outside of a door.  He said the cat was dripping wet and seemed to be in a very poor physical condition.

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Our sons had helped in the restaurant for years.  Knowing the situation we were in, they never asked for pay or anything.  During the last two year in high school, our older son worked in a fast food restaurant after school.  Without saying a word, he gave me his paychecks.  I asked him to open a bank account because he needed money to go to college.  He knew I struggled to pay the bills, and insisted for me to use the money he earned.

Our sons went to different universities.  Like most students, they worked besides going to classes.  They did not have a car.  They said it was alright, and other students walked from one location to another as they did.  Sometimes they got on the buses.

When the school year was over in 2000, our sons came home for the summer.  I was glad they soon found jobs working in a store.  The store scheduled them to work different shifts.  For example, one son worked from 8 am to 3 pm, while the other son worked from 10 am to 5 pm.  I had no problem driving them to work in the morning, but picking them up in the afternoon was another story.

We could not afford any hired help.  I was responsible for waiting on customers who dined in, taking down the call-in carryout orders, and packing them when they were ready.  (My husband could not take over when I was away because he did not know much English.)  A few times in a week, I also had to shop for the restaurant and run errands when the lunch hour was over.   With the restaurant business, sometimes I just could not leave to pick up our sons.  For instance, I could not tell customers to leave or dine in some other time because I had to pick up my son.  As a result,  our sons had to wait for a long time before I could pick them up.  There had also been times I was stuck in traffic.  I came back to the restaurant with customers waiting and the phone ringing nonstop.  As stressful as it was, it was a wonder how forgiving the customers were, and many actually supported us throughout the years.

My husband was not happy about the situation.  In his state, he could only think about himself and the restaurant.  That was why he did not want to sell the restaurant.  I was glad our sons could earn some money for the summer before they went back to college.  Blessed their hearts, they never complained about their long wait in the store.  However, I understood there must be some frustration about the situation.  During those years, sometimes I did feel exhausted mentally and physically.

It was in divine timing the cat showed up on our porch that early July morning.

His appearance gave us a point of diversion in our focus in life at that particular time. Whenever the cat came, my sons and I looked at him with tenderness.  For a moment, we forgot about the stress in life.  He was the object of attention as well as the subject of affection.  We loved him.  When he slept peacefully after he ate, we shared in his peace too.  When I saw him on the porch that July morning, I had not expected him to be such a blessing to our family.  It was the same with other things in life.  If we took things for granted, we might fail to recognize the blessing in life.

In 'Seth Speaks' by Jane Roberts, Seth said he had once infused a tiny portion of his energy into a dog because he wanted to experience the life as a dog.  I could not help but wondered if it was the case with the gray cat.  I knew the cat had touched other people's hearts, and brought laughter to many children before he moved on.

Earlier that July morning, I woke up my older son to get ready to work.  He looked very tired.  He actually dozed off while I was driving.  Suddenly, words came out of his mouth.  I was shocked.  Arriving at the store, he slowly woke up and did not really know what he had said.  In his sleepy or altered state, he had become a perfect channel.  The words that came through answered the question I had, and most of all, caused me to examine my life.  It was a life transforming experience.

I believed my guides and angels were busy at work that July morning.  For their love, I give thanks.

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In 2010, while we were living in another state, our older son brought home a stray kitten that was with striped gray and white hair similar to the old gray cat.  (If you want to read the whole story, please click to view A gift from Mei Mei )  At first, my husband did not show much affection towards the kitten.  Like the gray cat, the cute kitten went to work.  He gave my husband lots of love and attention.  

In the last three years, this had been my husband's routine upon waking up.  He took it upon himself to clean the litter box.  He refilled the bowls with cat food and fresh water.  Then he sat on the carpet and signaled for the cat to come.  He thoroughly brushed the cat's hair which the cat seemed to enjoy it very much.

Sometimes my husband gave the cat some food from the table.  If the cat did not eat it, he still got a little bit upset.  However, he was able to get over it.  There were times the cat wanted to rest on his lap, but he did not allow the cat to.  It might be it was too much for him.   As a compromise, he let the cat sit next to him on the couch.  Overall, the change was huge, and it was a blessing to all.  The gray cat had certainly played a role in his change of heart.

The gray cat had moved on.  However, he lives in our hearts.

With love,
Q of D

Thursday, December 18, 2014

The Great Gray Cat - Part 2

Greetings!

If you haven't view part 1, please click to view The Great Gray Cat - Part 1

There was an episode involving the cat that I was hesitant to share.  However, I saw the value of sharing with you this kind of dramas in life.  We all came into a lifetime with goals that included our gifts to the world and the lessons we planned to learn.  We came with strengths as well as shortcomings.  If we paid attention, we could see how closely our lives intertwined, and that we were all tools in each other's divine plans.  Accordingly, the cat's presence in our lives was of no exception.  (Please click to view We are all tools in the divine plans )

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As time went by, I saw the cat struggled with old age just as we did.  On a couple of occasions, he seemed to have difficulty breathing.  He might be trying to cough out the hairball that clogged his airway.  I observed he had problem taking in the food too.  I told my husband we should make sure the food we offered was tender and easy to consume because the cat was old.  My husband thought I was overly concerned.  He said cats could eat anything because they had sharp and strong teeth.

One night, my husband scolded the cat for not eating the food he gave him.  He called him a fussy eater.  I remade the food.  The cat finished the whole plate.  My husband was not too pleased to see that.  Adding to his displeasure, the cat later came to rest by my feet instead of by his feet as he usually did.  I could sense my husband was upset.

The following night the cat sat by my side again after he ate.  Off and on, my husband stared at the cat.  I knew he was not happy.  Mentally, I sent the cat a message: Cat, please go and sit by him as you used to.  For a while, the cat looked at me attentively.  Afterwards, he remained sitting where he was.  He looked calm and peaceful with an aura that commanded respect.  (Well, it was hard to explain, but that was how I felt.)

When the cat came again, my husband hurriedly gave him small chunks of meat.  After a few tries, the cat stopped.  He came to sit in front of me.  He looked at me attentively, and I 'got' it he wanted food.  Quietly, I crushed the meat and mixed it with a little bit of water.  As the cat was eating, my husband angrily remarked that the cat was spoiled.  I said the cat was old, but I knew he would not hear a word.  Later, the cat rested by my feet.  I sensed my husband was about to explode.  Subtly, I tried to push the cat to his side with my feet.  The cat did not move.  Sure enough, my husband soon got up from his chair, yelled at the cat, and chased him out of the door.  As he closed the door, he glanced at me.  He muttered some words to justify his action.  I did not say anything.  I looked at him with eyes icy cold.  How could he do that to a cat!  How insecure was he?  It certainly did not feel good when I lost my peace.  It was another human drama or, more accurately, another life lesson for me as well as for him.

A few nights later, the cat meowed outside of the door.  My husband quickly opened the door.  I was glad the cat showed no sign of fear.  It seemed he had completely forgotten what had happened the other night.  My husband talked to him in a soft voice, and broke the meat into small pieces.  The cat only stayed for a little while.  I patted him before he left.

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Dr. Michael Newton is a world known life-between-life hypnotherapist, author, and speaker.

In one of his talks, Dr. Newton talked about a client who took almost 5,000 years and many lifetimes to overcome jealousy.  His client did not have any jealousy in this lifetime, but was very impatient.  It was not hard to imagine his client's impatience or dis-ease in the current life was not only a challenge to himself, but to those around him too.

The truth is our shortcomings as well as strengths affect others in many ways even though we may not think much about it.  This is very much in divine order because life is all about relationships, not just the relationships among human beings but with all things including our environment.  Eventually, we will have to look within to see what works in life, what life is, and,
 realize how closely interconnected that we are.   

It *** takes me many years to learn that I do not have to go through the ups and downs in emotions due to life situations.  I am responsible for how I feel no matter what the situation is.  When others express their dis-ease such as anger, jealousy, and sadness, I do not have to take it personally.  I may look at them with compassion since I know that they are suffering within (e.g. their own anger and frustration).  As I stay in peace, some of the people around me seem to change too.  At times I observe I still kind of lose my peace when I go through some life dramas.  However, it is getting easier to return to peace, the truth that I AM. 

                                               ~    ~    to be cont'd    ~    ~

*** One night in the challenging years, I was dwelling in my misery / emotional pain, and my guide said,"You can be happy no matter what."  Indeed, how I reacted was my choice.  On another occasion, my guide said, "You feel pain because you let pain be ."  My guide's loving, timely guidance helped me more than words could express.  To my guides and angels, thank you!


Click to view The Great Gray Cat - Conclusion

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

The Great Gray Cat - Part 1

Greetings!

In a Mary Ellen's Pet Tips 'n' Tales story, Tax Accountant Kent wrote about his experience with the neighborhood cats who visited his home office on a regular basis.  He called those cats 'Time Share Pets'* (which was also the title of his story).  *Pets that belonged to someone or a family who took the liberty of visiting other families in the neighborhood.

I had wanted to write a post on a great gray cat, but did not know how to describe our relationship with the cat until I read Kent's story.  I realized 'Time Share Pet' was the right term for the gray cat.

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I met the gray cat for the first time one summer morning in 2000.  Earlier, I had driven my older son to work.  During the drive, something extraordinary had happened.  Arriving home, my mind was still pretty much on the unexpected life transformation occurrence.  When I saw a cat on the porch of our apartment, it was like having one surprise after another.

The cat looked very old and frail.  He was thin.  His striped gray and white hair was dull and dirty.  He meowed at me weakly.  He blocked the door in a way that he would be the first one to get in if ever I opened the door.  I asked him to move away from the door so that I could get inside.  I promised to give him some food afterwards.  He stood his ground and refused to move.  If I remembered correctly (I did not write my journal on a daily basis), the cat got into our apartment.  I gave him some food.  When it was time for me to go to the restaurant, I asked him to leave, and he left.

The school year was over.  Our sons were home from the universities.  They got summer jobs working in a store.  They worked different shifts.  In the following days, our sons told us that the cat came almost on a daily basis.  They loved this surprise visitor.  They let him in, and fed him.  They said the cat liked to take a nap on the top of the stairs after he ate.  When my husband and I came home at night from the restaurant, sometimes the cat dropped by for a visit too.

It was stipulated on the lease of our apartment that no pet was allowed.  Of course, we did not have a litter box.  Luckily, the cat always knew when to leave.  On a few occasions, the next-door neighbor, a woman, looked at the cat with a tight face.  I explained to her that the cat probably belonged to a family in the subdivision next to the apartments, and that he was a very friendly cat.

With love and food, the cat soon looked like a different cat.  He looked healthy, and the shine of his hair returned.  He seemed to be busier than before.  We were not the only family on his schedule.  We saw him entering other apartments where children welcomed him with laughter.

The cat was very intelligent.  One day after the lunch hour was over, I came home to wash some clothes.  We lived in the first unit of the apartment building, and the laundry room was at the end of another building.  As I left our apartment with the laundry basket, I saw the cat.  I said, "Cat, would you like to take a walk with me?" He walked by my side all the way to the laundry room and waited patiently outside!

Some nights the cat did not want to leave.  The cat pretended he was deep in his sleep on the stairs.  He curled up his body like a ball.  When our sons tried to pick him up, he stiffened his body liked a metal Frisbee.  His sleeping posture remained the same, but with one of his eyes widely opened watching what went on around him.  The cat's act made us smile.  We loved the cat.  However, we did not want to get into any trouble since we were not allowed to have pets in the apartment.  We were afraid that the woman next door might call the management office if she heard the cat meowed at night.  We also did not want any accident, e.g. cat's pee.  When our sons told the cat to leave, he continued to sleep as if he did not hear them.  When I said, "Cat, it is time to go."  He would get up and leave.  Our older son always said, "Mom, why does the cat listen to you and not me?"  I said, "When you tell the cat to leave, your voice is so soft as if you don't want to disturb him from his sleep.  When I say 'leave', I mean it.  The cat is very smart.  He understands us well."

When our sons went back to the universities, I did not have to rush back and forth to pick them up and drive them back to the restaurant (or home) anymore.  I stayed in the restaurant from morning to night.  Therefore, I did not see the cat as often as I used to.  On occasion, the cat came before I left for work.  Two or three times in a week, he showed up on our porch at night after my husband and I were home.  I let him in, and gave him food.

My husband grew up in the village where people kept cats to catch mice and dogs to guard the home.  He could not understand our love for pets.  He did not take to the cat as we did, and had voiced his disapproval.   The cat seemed to know his purpose with someone like my husband.  When he came in, he circled around my husband's legs.  He obeyed his words.  Most of the time, he rested by my husband's feet or under his chair after he ate.  In time, I could see the change in my husband's attitude towards the cat.  On a few occasions, my husband went ahead of me to give the cat some food.

Our sons cared about the cat.  When they called from college, they asked about the cat.  One day, I realized I had not seen the cat for some days.  I told our sons about it.  We were all very concerned about his well being.

One night, I sat on the bed and prayed for the cat before I went to sleep.  In the morning, I woke up from a long dream in which I saw the cat walking on the utility wires heading towards our apartment (i.e. those high above the ground utility lines hanging from poles to poles).  I did not know what to make of the dream.  In the afternoon, I went home to wash some clothes.  I parked my car.  In the corner of my eyes, I saw something frantically moving by the window of the utility room of the building next to our apartment.  I walked to that building to have a closer look.  The gray cat was in the utility room!  When he saw me, he jumped up and down on the windowsill, and scratched the window as hard as he could.  Obviously, he had been locked inside for days because all the plastic curtains were badly damaged due to his frantic call for help.  I called the management office.  The maintenance man came with the key to open the door.  He said, "Poor cat!  The meter reader came some days ago.  You (the cat) must have followed him, and he had accidentally locked you inside the room."  The cat was weak.  The maintenance man took the cat with him saying that he would give him some food.

I called our sons to let them know the good news that I had found the cat.  When my husband and I arrived home at night, the cat came to visit us.  He excited greeted my husband, and kept circling around his legs.  I joyfully teased the cat, "Oh, Cat!  I save you, but you thank him more than me!"  I gave the cat some food, and went upstairs to take a shower.  When I came downstairs, my husband had let the cat out.

The next morning, I heard the cat meowed downstairs in the family room.  My husband had let him in.  Soon I saw the cat came upstairs.  He acted strangely.  He lowered his body and walked very slowly as if he was crawling forward.  With his head down, he seemed to look at me timidly!  I had never seen him acted like that.  He stopped at a short distance before me.  I looked at the cat wondering what went on.  All of a sudden, it came to me the cat was acting like a child who felt guilty.  I picked the cat up and put him on the bed.  I said, "Cat!  I was only teasing you last night.  I am glad you are okay.  I am not mad at you.  I am grateful for the love and attention that you have given to my husband.  Truly, I am not mad at you."  The cat looked at me and listened attentively.  He then stood up, jumped off the bed, and walked out of the room in his normal posture.

Around Christmas, our sons were home for the holidays.  One night, they hung out with their friends and were not home when my husband and I went to bed.  In the middle of the night, I heard the cat meowed!  I looked at the clock.  It was 4:44 am. The cat meowed again.  He was by the side of our bed!  Our sons had let the cat in when they came home.  Our sons were now soundly asleep in their beds, and the cat had to wake me so that he could leave to do his business outside.  When I opened the door, the cat sped out.  Thank goodness he did not do it in our apartment.


                                                  ~  To Be Continued  ~

Monday, December 8, 2014

My son said, "My Mom has a weird sense of humor."

Greetings!

The other night we invited our loved ones over for dinner.   We talked as we ate.  At one point, I foresaw what would be.  It unfolded as I had expected.  I found it to be very funny, and broke out laughing.  My daughter-in-law asked, "What is so funny?"  I tried to stop laughing, but I could not.  My son said, "Mom, why do you laugh? What's so funny?"  When I got a hold of myself, I tried to explain.  However, I knew it was almost impossible to convey the fun I felt.  Indeed, they could not understand.  In reconciliation, my son said to his wife, "My Mom has a weird sense of humor."

Our older son was not home that night.  He had used the word 'weird' to describe me too.  For instance, whenever he heard me said 'life is fun' or 'life is supposed to be fun', he always countered me with 'Mom, you are weird; life is not fun'.  I looked at him with a smile.  There was no need to convince him for it was not my job to change him, and life was not about who was right or wrong.  People liked to use the word 'weird' to describe something or a person that they did not understand.  I wasn't offended by my sons words.   That was their opinion.

The three men in my life, my husband and our sons, did not laugh half as much as I did, not to mention laughing openly and heartily.  I rarely allowed myself to laugh liked that in public because I knew it was regarded as inappropriate.  (It had happened on a few occasion.  Luckily, all is well.)  It was with my family that I felt the ease of being.

I usually had a good laugh reading light-hearted jokes on the newspaper or spiritual magazines.  It was puzzling to my husband for he had never found anything that was worth laughing while reading.  He asked me to read him the jokes.  He could not feel the humor at all.  Our older son said a joke or two when he was in the mood.  Our younger son had his own sense of humor.  However, most of the time, he allowed the serious side of him to be dominant.  (Now, that is my opinion.)

Despite of our differences, I know they love me just as I love them.  Some people wish to stay young forever, but there are blessings in every stage of life.  Growing in age is but a natural stage of a physical life.  I am more relaxed than when I was young.  I learn from my experiences, and know to look at life happenings objectively.   I know I am in control of how I feel.  I am happy where I am at.

Love and Peace,
Q of D