Beauty is not in the garment we wear

Greetings!

There is an old Chinese saying that people bow to the expensive, elegant clothes before they show their respect to those who wear them.  In other words, in this materialistic world, people often judge others by what they wear.

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When I graduated from secondary school, my older sister advised me not to accept jobs in two particular districts with a similar reasoning.  She said, "People who work in the offices in those places wear nice, expensive clothes.  If you work there, you will have to spend all your income on cosmetics and clothes."  I knew what she said bore some truth.

However, some of the ads for job opportunities on the newspapers did not specify where the companies were located.  One week, I received responses from three companies.  Coincidentally, the companies asked me to go for interviews the following week on the same day.  Luckily, the interviews were hours apart, and I had enough time to go from one place to another.  I was successful on all the interviews. One of the jobs happened to be in the district that my sister had talked about.  It was an import and export firm.  The pay was the least among the three job offers.  Another job was a clerk position in a factory.  The pay was two times that of the import and export firm.  The salary of the other job was somewhere in the middle.  I discussed the job offers with my mother.  My mother said she trusted my judgment, and whichever job I chose would be good.  After some contemplation, I accepted the one with the least pay because I saw potential of learning on the job.

When I reported to work, I found out I was one of 7 new employees.  The company assigned us to different positions in different departments.  I never liked to talk to others about salary, however, others did.  We learned the company offered us the same monthly salary except one whose pay was a little bit less than the rest of us. To this day, I did not see the point of people asking others how much they earned.  Many people liked to compare and compete.  Some people did not want to teach others what they knew about the job fearing others might do better than they were.  To me, work was never about competing with others, but working together in harmony.    

A few days into my first job, I saw a coworker crying in the washroom.  She was new to the company just like me.  She worked in another department.  She told me she cried because she overheard other girls in the office talking about her dress.  She said she made the dress by herself.  I said she looked nice in her dress.  I told her not to feel bad because of what others said.  She was more at ease when she learned the dress I wore was very inexpensive.

The company paid us monthly.  When I received my first check, I was surprised it was more than what the company had told me.  I asked the manager of the accounting department if it was a mistake.  He told me it was not a mistake because I worked in a department where employees received additional monthly bonuses tied to the sales of the company's retail store.   (Our department had something to do with sales.)  He told me some employees working in other departments did not get these bonuses.

As life had its own plan, I actually worked some years in different companies in the two districts that my sister advised me not to.  I had always been simple, and was not into fancy clothes.  I was unassuming in every way.  Fortunately, those I worked with (the bosses as well as my coworkers) often treated me with respect.  They did not judge me by what I wore or how I looked.

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Have there been times people look down on me?  Of course, there are.  Some people like to judge what others wear or what others should wear.

One day in the restaurant years, a customer who owned a small medical office in the neighborhood came to pick up an order.  When I gave her what she ordered, she looked at me with disdain.  Then she said to me with disgust, "You do know that you work in a restaurant, don't you?  Why do you wear such an expensive shirt?"  I never expected to hear what she said because I did not wear an expensive shirt!  I said, "The shirt is not expensive.  I buy it at ..... (the name of a store).  It is on sale.  The original price is $16.  It is 50% off.  I buy it for $8.  There are still some in the store.  If you like, you can go and buy one." The woman was surprised and embarrassed.  She said, "It looks so nice.  I thought it was very expensive."  Hurriedly, she walked out of the restaurant.  Right or wrong, we lost a customer.  I did not see her again.  She was probably too embarrassed to come back.

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All of us have our preferences of what to wear.  That is why there are huge varieties of clothes and accessories.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to look beautiful, wear something nice, or wear something we feel comfortable with.  I compliment on how beautiful or handsome others look from time to time.  I don't bow to the expensive, elegant clothes.  However, I do appreciate the beauty of our creativity in clothes, arts, and music.  Most of all, the older I am, the more I can appreciate the true beauty within others as well as within me.  Beauty is not in the garment we wear.  Beauty is who we are.

Love,
Q of D