Before I shared with you the amazing alarm clock incidents, I would like to talk about the practice that my husband read about in a Chinese newspaper.
For many years, that Chinese newspaper published numerous stories portraying the master as if he was godlike. For examples, people were not hurt in accidents because the master protected them, or people were cured from diseases because the master healed them. It published pictures with step by step instructions as how to practice the moves. It was said the master would remotely teach those who set an intention to learn.
For years, the newspaper also published many stories with pictures showing how a government imprisoned the practitioners and tortured them cruelly. It was wrong for any government to do that to its people. However, I found it troubling that people resumed the practice once they were released from prison, and ended up being arrested again. Sadly, many people died in prison because of this practice. (Where was the protection for the practitioners when they were in prison or when they needed protection the most?) The families of these practitioners went through lots of emotional pain too. The newspaper related many stories of children crying and growing up without the loving care of a mother or father because their parents took up the practice. These stories touched me deeply. As a mother, I could not help but wondered why they would not stop practicing for the sake of their children or for the love of their children.
My husband and I had discussed about the stories in the newspaper. We wondered why a government went all out to suppress the practitioners of this practice and not other similar practices. If a government would imprison those who practiced Qi Gong or Tai Chi, we believed most would think about the well being of their loved ones as well as their own; they would either practice in secrecy or stop to practice until it was safe to do so. We thought there might be something amiss about this practice. As a result, my husband's decision to follow the steps in the newspaper in January 2003 really caught me by surprise.
In retrospect, he must have gradually believed in what he read in the newspaper. As human beings, sometimes we longed to find someone or a god that could save us from adversities. The stories of imprisonment and torturing of the practitioners fueled his hatred and anger towards the government that had done many wrongs to its people in the past. (His second older brother, the only sibling that truly cared about him, was wrongfully killed during the Cultural Revolution leaving behind a pregnant wife and two young children. A couple of years later, the government cleared his name and admitted the execution was a mistake.) My husband was always head strong. He listened to no one once his mind was set. He said he would stop if he felt something was wrong or it was not helpful. I did not agree with his decision. There was nothing I could do because he had made up his mind.
At the time, my mind was on the challenges of the business. I was not too concerned about his decision. I never thought my husband would ended up like those practitioners that could not stop practicing.
Within a few weeks, he seemed to be addicted to the practice. Everyday we stayed in the restaurant for about 12 hours. At night, my husband used to sleep soundly for about 9 hours. Now, he woke up around 2 am and practiced until 5 am. Then he went back to bed. In the morning, he resumed practicing until we had to go to the restaurant. In other words, he spent 6 to 7 hours practicing. When he woke up to practice, I woke up too because I was a light sleeper. With the noises he made while practicing, I could not fall asleep. His way of living affected me greatly; worst of all, the adverse effect on his own health.
January, February, and March were the cold winter months. His body was icy cold (esp. his hands and feet) when he returned to bed. Naturally, he stayed close to me so that he could be warm. Oh, here came the lesson of resentment! How did I deal with a husband who chose to leave the bed and come back hours later cold like ice? Feeling how cold he was, sometimes I sighed and shared with him my warmth. At other times, I moved away to show my resentment. I spoke up about how I felt too. Despite of my protest, he continued to practice every night. I resented what he did, but deep within I also looked at him with compassion. No matter what, I was his wife. Looking at the weariness on his face, I understood he held onto this practice (or the master) as if it was his lifeline. I asked him to wear thick socks and warm clothes when he practiced.
When I prayed, I often found myself in a wonderful field of warm, loving energy. My whole body was warm and energized long after I finished praying. In contrast, my husband's body was icy cold after he practiced as if his energy was depleted. I felt something was wrong, but he would not hear a word. As time went by, he really did not look well. On a few occasions, his friends asked if he was sick. He told them he was in excellent health. In his mind, he believed he was. Our mind or ego could be very self-deceiving sometimes.
In order to (somewhat) maintain my peace and health, I eventually asked my husband to sleep on a separate mattress. Looking back, I had made the right decision. As a wife and a mother, I wanted to take care of my loved ones and put their well being ahead of mine. Due to what happened, I realized I must take care of myself first for I could help no one if I got sick.
When my husband blindly believed in the power of the master as portrayed in the newspaper, he opened himself up to something unknown. He believed the master was distant teaching him and communicating with him. It was this so-called communication that brought much drama in later months. In time of darkness, my angels and guides used different tools / signs to uplift my spirit. The small alarm clock was one of the tools they used.
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As the dramas went on in 2003, the human I could not help but asked my guides and angels, "Is this practice good or evil?" For days, there was no response. One day, I turned on the TV. Marianne Williamson was speaking. I thought it could not be for the channel I turned to was not a religious channel. She said that even a slight judgment would block the flow of love from the Source / God (I could not recall her exact words). As I listened, I realized it was not a coincidence that I happened to turn to that channel at that particular time. I understood why I received no answer to my question. As humans, we liked to use polarized words to label things, e.g. good to bad (or evil) and right to wrong. However, it was not the case with the Divine because All Is One.
That day I understood my guides and angels were telling me not to form a judgment because of a situation / an experience; it was how we handled what happened that mattered the most. For this, I would like to share the guidance that came through an international known channel in a reading ten years later (i.e. Nov. 2013).
Stay in the center of yourself,
moving through wisdom and courage
Standing in love,
listening to your intuition and psychic self,
and not those outside of yourself . . . .
Do not worship teachers outside of yourself
Seek wise counsel within self and listen,
and take faith in you know what you know . . . .
Let go of your human emotions of fear, anger . . . .
Fall only into the divine emotion of Love, the Creative Force
~ to be continued ~
