Did I really see a ghost or was it only a dream?

Greetings!

Recently a spiritual teacher and psychic said that I communicated with spirits.  I said I could not communicate with spirits.  He was adamant that I have the ability to do so.  He suggested it might be I had an experience that scared me.  I said I did not recall such an experience.  At the time, something that happened long ago came to my mind, but I did not say anything.

In retrospect, I understood why I immediately said I could not communicate with spirit (or ghost).  I had watched many shows of mediums on TV as well as on YouTube.  The mediums saw / sensed the presence of spirits, and they communicated with them.  Since nothing close to what I saw on those shows happened in my life, I felt I did not communicate with spirits.  Most of all, I did not expect to hear that; I was more interested in learning other things about my spiritual path than hearing that I could communicate with spirits.  (Oh, it is the fallibility of my (or our) human traits!  We are often open to hear what we like to hear, and subconsciously block what we do not expect / want to hear.)

Below was the incident that came to my mind when he suggested that I might have an experience that scared me.  It probably happened when I was around 5 years old.

One night, I was in bed lying next to my mother.  My mother had fallen asleep, but I was not.  Suddenly, I saw a man in his 20 s wearing a worn soldier uniform entered the room.  I knew he was a ghost.  (One might ask how I knew he was a ghost.  I could not explain.  It was a sense of knowing.)  He looked around the room and saw me looking at him.  He went to the table and picked up a brush.  (It was the type of brush that we dipped in thick black ink to practice writing Chinese words.)  He came and seemed to use the brush to write something on my forehead.  Then he was gone. 

I recalled my mother soon woke up.  I told her what happened.  She assured me it was only a dream that there was nothing to fear.  It was natural for my mother to think that I was dreaming because I often woke up talking about dreams.  My dreams were like real-life stories, colorful, interesting and exciting.  It just came to me that I did not remember any other dream I had when I was small.  It might be I shared them and let them go.  However, I still remembered this incident or dream to this day.  When I was a little older, I began to keep most of my dreams to myself as I observed my family was not that interested in hearing them.

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In my other posts, I had mentioned I could not visualize.

When I was small, I could easily form an image in my mind whenever I thought or heard of something.  Of course, I did not know it was called visualization in English.  In 2000, I began to read many spiritual books because I wanted to find some answers to the strange incidents that happened in the last quarter of 1999.  When I tried to practice visualization according to the books, I was shocked to realize that I could no longer visualize.    

When I joined the Thursday circle in May 2005, I was amazed to hear my friends' vivid description of the images they saw during group meditation.  Meanwhile, all I saw was darkness when I closed my eyes.  My friends told me it was quite alright because we all had different ways of knowing.  I found what they said to be true.  

Children liked to use their imagination.  I assumed I might have stopped visualizing or imagining at some point of my life while growing up.  As a grown up, life happenings did take up most of my attention.

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When the spiritual teacher suggested that I might have an experience that scared me, the above incident came to my mind.  I felt it was irrelevant because there was no communication between me and the soldier.  I also thought I was not scared.  Upon further thought, it might not be true that I was not scared.

Here was something that happened when I was in elementary school.  We lived in a building with two units on each floor, and the doors of the two units were side by side.  We lived on the 4th floor.  That meant I had to walk up the stairs and pass the lower floors to get back home after school.  One year, the two families that lived on the 2nd floor had coincidentally experienced death in their families.  Each family hung a big, big white lantern outside of the door to signal death in the family.  (Most families kept to themselves.  We did not know about the deaths until we saw the white lanterns.  However, I would point out most families did not follow that old tradition especially in later years.)  At the time, electricity was deemed very expensive.  People used very low voltage light bulbs.  That year I attended PM class.  When I arrived at where we lived it was about 6:30 - 7 pm.  I supposed you could imagine how eerie it was to walk on the narrow staircase seeing two big white lanterns in ghostly light; then you had to keep walking up the stairs, heart pounding, feeling chills behind your back, and yet you did not dare to look back.  Later, my mother accompanied me to walk the stairs until they took down the lanterns.

Yes, I was afraid of ghost when I was young.  When I saw the ghost soldier, it was likely that my whole body was frozen up.  Therefore, I could not yell or wake up my mother.  With this realization, I wondered if that incident had anything to do with my inability to visualize in later years.  

Did I really see a ghost or was it only a dream?

Now that I knew the forehead was where the third eye was, I wondered what the soldier did with the brush.  But, didn't people see ghost with their physical eyes and not their third eye?   

Personally, I looked at the incident as the only time I might have seen a ghost.  I had told a few others about it over the years.  As for my fear of ghost, I was like my mother - she might not feel comfortable walking those stairs, but as an adult and a mother, she stood up tall for her daughter as if she had no fear.  On a few occasions, I had stood up to dispel fear when I was with friends as well as my family.  All of us had to stand up to face what was in front of us from time to time.  That was how life was.

As for communications with spirits, some of us do talk to our loved ones on the other side every now and then.  We may talk to them in our thought or dream about them.  That is communication too.  If you have time, please read my posts Why did he thank me?  and The dream of three Japanese soldiers .                                         

Peace,

Q of D      

    

Life's challenges do not break us but build us.

Greetings!

I had wanted to write a post before 2020 was over.  Despite of the situations, deaths, and fear due to the pandemic, I saw lots of good happening around the world.  I wanted to write a post of hope and gratitude.  As days gone by, I realized I was not someone that could simply write something because I wanted to publish a post at year-end.  I let it go, and chose to enjoy the holidays.

In the morning of January 2, 2021, I woke up with these words -

                              Life's challenges do not break us but build us.

How true it was!  Despite of all the challenges due to covid-19, many people had risen up to face life's situations.  Some college students founded the Farm Link Project.  They collected produce from farms across USA, and distributed them to organizations that helped people in need.  During this time, many schools chose to teach students remotely.  Some fathers and grandfathers in different states began to make desks and give them to children in their neighborhood for free.  They wanted the children to have their own desks at home so that they could focus on learning.  Upon learning the news that there was a shortage of masks and protective equipment for healthcare / frontline workers, companies as well as individuals began making them and donated them to the hospitals.  Due to the covid-19 situation, a teenager went to a store to buy grocery and brought them to his grandmother.  He was a thoughtful young man.  He began to think of other senior citizens that might be in a similar situation as his grandmother.  Later, he and his friends volunteered to help other seniors just as he had helped his grandmother.  The seniors gave them lists of what they wanted to buy from stores, and they delivered to them.  These were just a few examples.  There were numerous heartwarming stories of people helping and cheering for others.  In time of great need, people became more innovative.  New businesses and products came into being.

During the pandemic, the frontline workers such as nurses, doctors, and emergency operators worked extreme long hours in unthinkable stressful situations trying to help as much as they could.  Sadly, some died while trying to assist those that had covid-19.  Their service of love was not forgotten.  On TV, I saw their loved ones and coworkers expressed grief over their deaths; meanwhile, they were also very proud of them.  In some, I saw a steadiness in their eyes that they would follow their example and serve as they did.

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I did not finish writing because I soon realized I was having an allergic reaction ** to an antibiotic drug prescribed by the dentist.  (I had a root canal a few days before the New Year Day.)   

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January 5 was the Senate runoff election in Georgia.  I lived an ordinary life.  I watched TV and paid attention to what happened around the world.  

The next day, Jan. 6, our family sat in front of the TV for hours watching what went on in the Capital.  From the start, we wondered as many people did about the minimal presence of the police and guards.

One day, a loved one asked, "Next Wednesday will be the inauguration day.  What do you think will happen?"

I said, "I don't know, but I hold the vision of peace."  I did not explain that peace was not necessary what most people held in their mind.  Peace is the knowing that all is well, and have faith that only good will come out of all situations.

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The Inauguration Day was now over.  It went on smoothly.  Earlier that day, the sky was gray and cloudy.  For a brief while before the ceremony was about to begin, there were a few flurries.  As if to signal a new beginning, the sky turned beautifully blue with lovely white clouds when the main events took place.

Many of us might not soon forget about Jan. 6.  What was your / our reaction right after what had happened?  Sometimes things happened for a reason.  Did we see the positivity after the unrest?  Congress worked long hours that night to show violence could not deter them from doing what needed to be done.  Corporations took a stand against violence and falsehood.  As most people chose peace over unrest and love over hatred, what happened that day brought forth unity in where we stood.

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Today I learned a relative who lived in another state had recently died of covid-19.  Some months ago, I also learned a sister at the small church in another state had moved on.  She was a retired nurse.  She and her husband had done a lot for the church.  All of us loved and respected her.  She always called my name in a very special cheerful way that was truthful and uplifting.  As a human being, I felt sad that she had moved on.  Spiritually, I understood she had done all the good that she had come to do.  She was truly a blessing to the church, the community, and all that had come to know her.

Over 2 million people have died of covid-19 worldwide.  In USA, over 400,000 people have lost their lives due to the virus.  It is natural that we feel sad over the deaths.

When my mother passed away, I cried and cried for 3 years whenever I thought of her.  I saw her in my dreams smiling at me gently and lovingly.  I woke up crying.  I thought it was only a dream, and she was no longer with me.  One day I came to the realization that my mother loved me and she would not want me to be sad.  When I was going through the challenging time of my life, she showed me she was watching over me and my sons / her grandsons.  (Re my post Happy Mother's Day )  

I share with you my story because I want you to know that death is not the end.  Those that love us (e.g. our family and loved ones) do not want us to be overwhelmed by grief or pain because of their passing.  They love us and want us to be happy and well.   

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Life's challenges do not break us but build us.

I find truth in these words, do you?

Love and Blessings,

Q of D

 

** In the early hours of the New Year Day, the itchiness at my back woke me up.  I felt some rash in the center of my back between the shoulder blades.  I could not sleep.  I thought (or hoped) it would go away in the day.  I failed to recognize that it was an allergic reaction to the antibiotic drug.  I continued to take the drug (one in the morning and one at night).  Soon I found hives all over the front and back of my body, and spread to my thighs and legs.  I searched the Internet and learned some people had similar skin problem after taking the drug.  My face and body were red.  Luckily, I did not have other side effects such as a fever or diarrhea.  I went through some sleepless nights, and eventually called the dentist.  She was very nice and said I should have called her right away, no matter if it was late at night or a Saturday / Sunday.  After taking the pill she prescribed, I was able to fall asleep.  It took some days for the hives to disappear.  I am well.