Today I am going to share with you another story to show how easy it is to form a negative judgment of a situation and other people because of what we see and hear.
I have always wanted to be of service. About 6 years ago, I spotted a very small article on the newspaper. A church needed volunteers for their pantry and soup kitchen for the homeless. I called to sign up.
At the soup kitchen, many people had come to volunteer after seeing the newspaper article. Linda* was in charge of the soup kitchen that day. Since there were too many volunteers, she sent some people to work for the pantry. At 11 a.m., we opened the door. About 10 people walked in. Before people could begin eating, Linda said a prayer, "Dear God, I work very, very hard for you, but these people (the homeless) are not appreciative." She went on to reprimand the people that ate there. At the end, she prayed for God to bless the church, the pastors, the staff, and the workers. I was surprised of what I heard. I could not help but looked at the people we served with compassion.
Later, more people came in to eat. Most volunteers left around noon. Other than Linda, Doris* and I stayed. I learned Linda had worked for the church for over 15 years, and Doris for 5 years. For the next couple of hours, Doris told me how she wanted to beat up her step-kids, bad things about the homeless people eating there, and many personal stories I did not expect / want to hear. She tolld me to ignore those who asked for refills, but I did not follow her instructions. Eventually, she walked away from me. She left around 2 p.m. An hour later, Linda and I closed up the soup kitchen. Before I left, Linda looked at me and asked, "Are you coming back next week?" I said, "Yes."
At home, I found myself mentally drained. I could not imagine myself listening to Doris negative talk for hours again. She had worked in the soup kitchen for 5 years, and would definitely continue to be there. I was also troubled by Linda's prayer. I thought of not going there anymore. I told myself, "There are many volunteers. My help is not really needed."
Part of me felt that I was guided to go there. However, my view of the experience had clouded my mind. I prayed, "Dear God, please help me to see things in a different perspective." Meanwhile, I hoped my guides and angels would give me an indication if I should or should not go there again.
Oh, did not all of us wish someone else could make the decision for us sometimes?
However, my guides and angels were very quiet. In a way, I understood it was my lesson and I was responsible for the decision. "What should I do?" I struggled. Two nights before I had to make a decision, my mind was not as confused anymore. Most of the times, I kept my promises. I had promised Linda I would be there. Besides, I went there with the pure intention of service. If my service was needed, that was where I would be. However, I also planned to tell Linda I would not come anymore if I saw that they had more help than needed. In my view, 2 to 3 people would be enough to take care of the soup kitchen.
After I made the decision, I regained my peace, and was able to see some truth. No matter what I heard on that day, it was Linda and Doris that had served the homeless people for years. We all had our "off days" that we let out our unwholesome feelings such as frustration, anger, and resentment. Linda had served in the soup kitchen for over 15 years. It involved lots of love and dedication to do what she did. Mentally, I thanked them for what they did, and sent them love. Then this thought came to me -
"Jesus totally accepted his disciples whose characters varied. Jesus never judged them and was completely okay with who they were." Immediately, my mind was no longer cloudy.
In the morning I was to return, it was a holiday. I dressed up and went downstairs to the living room. Suddenly, I 'heard' "Doris no longer works there." I did not expect to hear that at all! I asked my guides and angels to confirm. I 'heard' "Doris no longer works there" again. I could not believe what I heard. I thought Doris might be staying home to take care of her kids since there was no school.
On arrival, I saw many volunteers! Linda seemed to be surprised that I actually came back. She told us there were too many volunteers that she had to send some over to the pantry and clothing departments. I raised my hand, and volunteered to go to the pantry. Linda looked at me. She said, "No. You stay. Doris no longer works here."
I found out the volunteers were teachers and students from a high school. They would be leaving at noon. I stepped aside, and let them serve food. Only a few people ate in the soup kitchen that morning. At noon, the volunteers left. Later, Linda and I were quite busy as more and more people walked in. I continued to work at the soup kitchen until I moved out of the state. In later weeks, a man who lost his job in the auto industry came and joined us. Doris never came back. I learned some people worked there because they were ordered by the court to do community service. Linda told me every year many came to volunteer because of the article on the newspaper. However, many came only once, and most stopped volunteering after a couple of weeks.
I also learned why Linda was frustrated. Some people drove to the church to drop off donations such as food, clothing, and furniture. When Linda asked for help to unload the donations, people seldom helped her even though there were many able bodies at the soup kitchen. She was especially upset with a group of men who always sat together and played cards. There were seven to eight of them, but they never volunteered to help.
Every time I was there, I served as if I worked in a restaurant. When they raised their hands for more food or refill of their drinks, I went over there to serve them with love and respect. I did not talk much because of my quiet nature. Eventually, all of the men in that group except one stood up to give Linda a hand willingly. One morning, unexpectedly, Linda asked me to say a prayer to start the day. I prayed with my heart and soul. I asked for God's blessings for all especially our brothers and sisters that came to the soup kitchen. When I finished, there was complete silence. Then everybody clapped. Linda said this had never happened before. Many came to tell me that was the best prayer they had ever heard. They said they were deeply touched. Their presence touched me too. When we reached out to one another from the point of love, 'love truly is all that is'. I could feel that when we looked into each other's eyes that day.
When I judged, I observed my mind was not at peace. I could only regain my peace when I came to terms with my action. Luckily, in the above case, the self-inflicted struggle came to an end with positive result as the Light of Love shone through. For this, I am grateful to the ever guiding Loving Divine.
Please click to view How easy it is to judge and react, story 1
Many blessings,
Q of D
*not the real names
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