How easy it is to judge and react, story 1

Greetings!

Our mind is very busy.  We easily form an opinion or a judgment of a situation or a person because of what we see and hear.  Sometimes we react negatively because of our judgment.  When we act / think negatively, we experience the irritation of our own negativity.  We lose our peace.  It is important to pay attention to our thought, look at all situations objectively, and don't take things too personally.

Here is an example of how easy it is to judge and react.  It happened over ten years ago when we were in the restaurant business.
    
X worked in an office near our restaurant.  For years, she drove past our small restaurant, and never thought of coming in.  She never cared about numbers, but all of a sudden she kept seeing 444 or 4:44 p.m.  She had been into metaphysical stuff for some time, and wondered what 444 meant.  As this went on, she felt the urge of going into our restaurant whenever she drove by.  For days, she resisted.  One day, she gave in to her inner prompting.

She ordered a carryout.  She saw that I was reading a spiritual magazine.  We talked for a little while.  Then I brought out her order.  As she was on her way out, somehow I said, "You know what, 444 means the power of God's love."  My out of nowhere comment stunned her.  She left in a state of shock for she had not talked to me about her 444 experiences.  I only learned of her 444 experiences when she came back and ordered again.  Since then, she ordered from us once in a while.  Every time she came, she said she did not understand why she felt lots of joy standing in front of me. As for me, I thanked God for sending in a customer as well as a friend.

Then she stopped coming.  In the restaurant business we had regulars, and we also had people who came in once in a long while.  I was not bothered that she did not come.  I still regarded her as a friend.

One day, she came back.  She hinted why she did not come.  She said she knew our restaurant was not doing well.  She told me her friends and co-workers were having all sort of difficulties.  Meanwhile, she was doing great.  She had been staying away from her friends and co-workers so that their bad luck would not affect her in even the slightest way.  She did not go to the gatherings she used to go anymore.  She went on to tell me the stories of her friends such as who was going through a divorce and who had financial difficulties.  She said that for all the people who were having problems, "Don't ever come near me, stay away!"

I stood there in shock.  I did not say a word in response to what she said.  I must have shown some sort of distance and reserve (=coldness).  Women were on the whole more sensitive to people's feelings than men, and she sensed my reaction.  Before she left, she said, "One of these days, we will sit down and talk to each other.  I just don't know when at this time."

After she left, my mind was flooded with thoughts.  "When do people need a friend the most?  Does it mean you are my friend when everything is going well in my life, but you will not be my friend when I am in hardships?  If I am some one's friend, I am his or her friend no matter what.  I will be there to give you a hand when you need one.  I will not throw a stone at you even if others do.  I will be with you through good time and tough time."  I felt somewhat sad for I no longer regarded her as a friend. 

The next day, I thought about what happened.  I asked my guide for his words of wisdom.

"You do not only judge her, you even exclude her as a friend.  You put yourself above her.  Accept her the way she is and go from there.  In life, we come across all kind of people.  There is no right or wrong.  You judge her base on your own way of handling things which in many ways seems kinder and more loving to you.  But you are here to serve, to bring people together no matter how different they are, and work towards the same goal.  Never put yourself above others.  We know you never meant to.  The main point is to spread love."

I always held the attitude that I was not superior or inferior.  I never thought I would put myself above others.  However, in this case, I obviously thought I was a better person than she was.  I was wrong.  I should look beyond what appeared on the surface.  We were neither the roles we played nor our personalities.  She was living in fear.  I should have listened with discernment and compassion instead of judging her.

May we learn and grow from each life experience, and remember to treat one another with love and compassion including ourselves.  

Please click to view Story 2 - Doris no longer works here

With lots of love,
Q of D

P.S.  Some weeks later, she came back to order.  She looked tired.  She told me she wasn't doing that well physically.  I lent her some spiritual newsletters.  She came in a few more times after that.  I wish her well with all my heart.