For those of you who have been reading my blog, you may have noticed I have recently published my posts in black and white instead of with many colors. It happens because my son says some people may find the color words distracting; others may feel that it is childish / unprofessional, and it could be a turn-off to them. I re-read my blog. I agree the color words are distracting. I have made some changes in my old posts. However, I am a child at heart. Therefore, I have put colors back in my recent posts instead of just black and white.
Most of my American friends see me as quiet and shy. I may not be outgoing, but I do not see myself as shy. It may has something to do with the difference of our cultures or our upbringing. I never shy away from doing what my heart guides me to do. I am more of a listener than a talker. I laugh often, but only when I am among those that know me well (e.g. family and friends).
My friends at the Thursday circle accepted me and loved me. We had many good laughs especially in the later months. I saw joy and fun in many situations while others did not. My guides told me in readings that they laughed along with us on many occasions.
My son also raised his concern about my blog. He said, "Mom, so far you have a very small audience. You want to deliver a message of love. You do want a big audience, don't you? I told you from the beginning you needed to work hard to promote you blog. You have to go online to find out how to do that. Mom, I want you to learn and do it on your own. Play with the computer and learn......" Thank you, son. I know you love me, and that is why you care.
I had never imagined posting any blog not to mention in English. Years before I learned about guides and angels, I went to a psychic for a half-hour reading. The psychic was a well educated, nice young lady. (I saw the certificates or credentials she hung on the wall. She graduated from a very good university.) She was quite accurate in describing my husband and our relationship. However, I only wanted to hear if selling the restaurant was the right choice and when could we sell the restaurant. At one point, she stopped as if she was listening. Then she said with surprise in her voice, "Oh, you are a very, very good teacher. You should teach. I see lots of white light around you." When I heard that, I dismissed her reading. There was no way I could teach. I only had a high school education (not in USA). My English was not good. When the reading was over, she looked at me and said, "I am sorry I have disappointed you for you do not hear what you want to hear." Young lady, if you happen to read my blog, please accept my sincerest apology.
One early morning in the last quarter of 1999, I woke up hearing a man voice loud and clear. He said one sentence, and it was the strangest sentence that I had ever heard. I thought someone in the neighborhood was talking, but it was very quiet outside. I called my younger son who was a freshman in a university: "Son, the message must be for you for you are wise." He said: "Mom, it must be for you for you are the one that heard it!" I wanted to put the whole thing behind me, but more strange things happened. In order to find some answers, I eventually borrowed many spiritual books from the library. I was surprised to learn that we had spirit guides and angels by our side helping and supporting us. Although the situations in the restaurant continued to be challenging, the touches of God lifted my spirit. My heart was constantly filled with awe and gratitude. The "Night Vision - Pieces of a Dream" Phenomenon was so incredible that I began to write down some of my experiences.
Two years later, I was guided to book a reading by a renowned angel reader in another state. I was told to teach more and write; I needed to understand the importance of the role I played for there was no time for me to play small or shy. I did not know what to think because I could only identify myself with the earthly me.
One night during the last week of the restaurant business, a customer who had supported us throughout the years came in. She was the one who brought me the monthly spiritual magazines which she thought that I might be interested.
Standing before me, she said, "Tonight I come to honor you for all the good you have done." She started saying the good I had done. "What is she talking about? What good have I done?" I thought. She related incidents that there was no way she could have known as well as things that I had long forgotten. With tears in her eyes, she proceeded to tell me her vision of me in the future. My mind went blank. To this day, I could not recall a word she said about me in the future. I went home in a state of shock. I asked my son, "What good have I done? I am just a simple me." My son said, "Mom, indeed you have done lots of good. You just don't see it yourself."
Months later, I came across the customer's mother in a store. It was then I learned the customer was a minister and a teacher of 'A Course In Miracles'!
In 2005 May, I joined a circle every Thursday morning in a holistic center. It was there I met some psychics, mediums and healers. On a few occasions, people that met me for the first time told me what they (intuitively) got about me. I did not know how to respond. In most cases, I did not see them again. Many nights I lay in bed wondering why people said what they said.
Two months after I joined the circle, the facilitator of the circle told me that my spirit guide had been urging her to tell me to learn a healing modality. I did not follow the guidance. In my limited perception, I could not see myself as a healer in a western culture for I was not proficient in English. I did experience a powerful surge of energy from time to time when I sat among people. One day, a new comer came to me and said, "You always think you have to learn something or do something, but you don't (have to). You may not know it, people heal in your light."
Months later at a holistic expo, a Reiki master who was very attuned to the divine said, "Oh, you don't have to learn (healing) like we do. You are a natural healer. People heal in your presence." I heard similar message again and again. I was confused. While my guide told me to learn a healing modality, the messengers told me I needed to just be and sit among people. Finally, near the end of 2006, I told my guide, "Okay, I am ready. Please bring me a teacher." In March of the following year, I participated in a 2-day healing workshop facilitated by a wonderful spiritual teacher and healer from another state.
After years of searching, I finally got some answers from a book to the questions that had puzzled me since the 2001 reading. It happened on June 13, 2009, a night I would always remember. (Re my posts The Beauty of A Bouquet of Flowers and The Conclusion of the Mystery of a Sister ) As regards to healing, I eventually learned the healing ability resided within. However, I needed to go to a workshop to uncover the gifts and get my worldly credential. I learned some more about my life purposes a year ago through a wonderful channel.
To this day, life is still very much a mystery to me. I never hear how my life will unfold in the readings, and it is all meant to be. According to my guides, life is better a mystery as to seek is the challenge of our life.
Recently my son talked to me over the phone about his own experience with blogging years ago. He told me how to interact and link with other sites. I knew very little about the computer. My mind could not register what he said even though I wanted to be more proficient in using the computer.
Do I want a big audience as my son said? Well, when I start the blog, I just want to share with you my experiences of the Loving Divine. I want to tell you no matter what happens in our life, God is ever so present if we open our heart to see and feel. It may be you have a disease or in a lot of challenges, and you question the existence of a loving God. It may help if we remember only God (or our highest self that is aligned with the Creator) knows what is the best for us. In a true story, a woman felt very sad for she thought her father had lived a very difficult life. Her father's spirit came through in a reading. He said he had in truth lived a very good life for God, but the daughter could not see it because she did not see the big picture.
I will continue to write from my heart. To me, it is already a miracle that I publish my blog, and you are reading it. If you like my stories and message of love, please share them with your friends.
By the way, if you have been frustrated because you don't know what is your life purpose, I have a message for you -
Keep seeking. At the same time, live your life with love and joy as if you are living a fulfilling life. We live in the powerful moment of now. Your positive attitude and thought matter in every situation or every turn of life.
Many blessings,
Q of D
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