He asked, "Why (do you tear up)? They are not related to you."

Greetings!

The TV was on.  On the left of the screen was a father whose son (and his team) had been qualified to play in the NCAA basketball tournament.  The father was answering the reporter's question from home.  On the right side of the screen was his son who sat on a bench in the locker room.  I did not watch from the beginning, but it seemed it was the young man's first time playing in a tournament.  I could sense both father and son were very emotional about making the tournament.  The father tried to say some words of encouragement and how proud he was of his son.  He was choked with emotions, and had a hard time saying what he wanted to say.  The young man became very emotional too.  He raised his hands over his face, and wiped his tears repeatedly.  My eyes teared up.

My son happened to walk past and saw what happened on the TV.   My son was into bodybuilding.  He was not interested in basketball or football.  He looked at his father who had been watching TV.  His father showed no emotion or reaction.  He turned to look at me.  

He asked, "Why did the father cry?"  

I said, "He is very proud of his son."  

My son said, "He should be happy.  I don't understand why he cried."  

I said, "It is a different expression of joy.  When people finally achieve what they want to accomplish, the feeling can be personal and not that easy to express.  Sometimes we have a hard time talking because we are choked with emotions.  Did you remember your voice choked when you made a toast on your brother's wedding?"  

He said, "Yes, I did."  For a brief second, he paused as if to look back at that moment.  He added, "I did not expect that to happen.  But, I did."  

I said, "Before the wedding, other people said I would cry.  I said I would not.  I was happy for your brother, and  thought that I would smile throughout the wedding.  When they said their vows, tears ran down my face because I was deeply touched.  Your brother's truthful words touched everybody, and XX (my daughter-in-law) cried too.  There is nothing wrong with crying."  I added, "You know, my eyes teared up too watching the father and son on TV."  

My son was surprised to hear that.  He asked, "Why?  They are not related to you."  

I said, "It is because I am empathetic."  

I went on to tell him a similar incident that happened some years ago.  A female TV host was leaving the morning show.  On her last day on the show, her co-hosts and coworkers had made some special arrangement to show their appreciation.  The camera followed her as she walked around to acknowledge and thank her friends / coworkers.  On her face was a bright, joyful smile.  This went on for quite a while.  Suddenly, I said, "Oh, no!  She is going to cry!"  His father (my husband) looked at me with that "what are you talking about" look.  On the TV, the woman was still smiling, but she soon broke down and cried.  I knew before it happened because I felt what she felt.  She was deeply moved by the love of her friends.

My son said, "Many times I do not understand why people cry.  I am glad I don't have that kind of emotion."

I looked at him.  I said, "You probably concluded crying was a sign of weakness when you were young.  We often react to situations in a certain way due to the view or conclusion we draw from our past experiences.  Sometimes the situations we are in may seem similar, yet nothing in life is ever exactly the same.  We can always adjust our views, and handle things differently.  You say you don't want to talk about emotions, but you have talked to me about emotions on some occasions."  I smiled and added, "You talk to me about bodybuilding all the time.  Though you say you do not want to hear anything spiritual, I am going to say that when you block your emotions, you are also blocking the flow of love in some ways.  And, we are beings of love."

My son listened and did not say anything.  On his face was an expression of peace.  The old him would have taken a strong stance against hearing anything about love or spirituality.  It did not necessary mean that he took in what I said this day.  However, it did show he was now more patient, tolerant or accepting of others than he was some years ago.

                                            ~       ~       ~       ~       ~       ~

When my son asked, "Why (do you tear up)?  They are not related to you."

I said, "It is because I am empathetic."  

I never said "I am empathetic'' before.  As these words came out of my mouth, I was a little surprise.  At the same time, it was like a realization or a remembrance.  It was hard to describe.  There were past incidents that I went through wondering if they were merely coincidence.  Now, everything seemed to make sense.  I would share a few of the incidents in my next post.   

There are many people like me that tear up hearing other people's stories and experiences.  Why do we feel that way?  Is it only our simple emotional response?

We may not be related by blood, yet we are far more connected than we can imagine.  

Good Night!

Love and Blessings,

Q of D