Greetings!
When I was with the Thursday Circle, most of my friends joyfully shared the images they saw and their interpretations after meditation / psychic practice. It was a joy to sit there and listened to what my friends said. As for me, I could not get into a meditative state, and all I saw was darkness when I closed my eyes. The teacher had said we did not have to share anything if we did not want to. In the beginning weeks / months, I did not say much. If asked, I said I did not see or get anything.
During group discussions (e.g. someone asked for advice as how to handle a challenge in life), I enjoyed listening to the teacher and my friends' talk. Their words were always loving, gentle and wise. I seldom felt the need to say anything. Once in a long while, I might feel that I had something to say. Then I thought my friends had already given similar advice or what I wanted to say was not important. Besides, I was self conscious that my English was not good. Therefore I did not speak up. Sometimes I found myself rushing to the washroom to cough when I decided not to speak up.
Looking back, the teacher of the circle was truly an exceptional spiritual teacher and psychic. She allowed me to take my time to warm up to the new environment or my new friends. As my friends took turns to share, sometimes she knew to let me skip my turn, and did not call my name. However, occasionally in the middle of a discussion, she would suddenly look at me. With anticipation in her eyes and voice, she said, "Yes! Q of D, you have something to share?" I was surprised! I said, "What? Me!" She continued to look at me with anticipation, and said, "Yes, you have something to share, don't you?" It was because of her prompting, I was gradually more at ease to speak.
I was very grateful for the love and encouragement of the owner of the center too. Many times she came to me after I said something during the circle. She would hold my hands and said, "You are wonderful! Your words are so profound." What I said were only simple words from my heart, but the truthfulness in her voice moved me. (Please click to view You Are My Sunshine )
One day, I shared a personal experience. Everybody cried. It bothered me. The teacher seemed to read my mind, and explained she cried because my words reached her heart. That evening I happened to read an article on the Chinese newspaper about a musician that played the erhu. She said many in the audience cried whenever she played the music 'Spring'. She found it puzzling because 'Spring' expressed the joy of the season that everything began anew again. Eventually, she began to ask those who stayed behind what they felt as they listened to the music. It seemed people cried for many different reasons.
- Some relived the happy memories which they had long forgotten.
- Some recalled the unhappy times of their lives.
- Some said they just felt very emotional as they listened to the music.
- Others said something in the music went deep inside their hearts, and tears began to flow.
Many of them were surprised to hear the title of the music was "Spring". Despite of the difference of emotions while listening to the music, all of them found a renewed sense of joy after they cried.
She had been performing for years, and still saw the same phenomenon in her concert. She said everything was energy, and concluded people cried because something in the sound (or the vibration) of the music she played went somewhere deep inside their hearts or souls. (Re my post My experience as a channel of spiritual healing energy )
The musician's conclusion corroborated with the teacher's words. I was more at peace with what happened that day during the circle. Though what I said might not be of healing, I thought I must have connected with my friends in some way.
On another day, I said something during a discussion. Right after I spoke, a man asked others if they felt the electricity in my voice. I wondered what he meant by electricity, but did not say anything. (I had forgotten everything was energy.)
One day after the gathering was over, I was on my way out of the center. I heard a friend asked the teacher a question. Other people had left. The teacher and a man whom the teacher introduced as a workshop facilitator were there talking to the friend. Before I left, I thought of something. I turned and said what had come to my mind. The three of them exclaimed at the same time, "That is what I need to hear today!" I stood there in shock. How could what I said be for all of them? Seeing the expression on my face, the teacher tried to explain - they had different things in their mind that they wanted answers, and each 'got' what was needed from the vibration of my voice / words. (I could not recall the exact words.) The man asked, "Can you tell me your name again?" I walked out of the center still wondering what had happened.
One Friday morning, a healer from California was in our center to facilitate healing.
He was known as the Awaken One, i.e. he knew the cause of one's illness by looking into one's present and past. He had held a workshop on Thursday night, and our small center was filled with people. Since most people had to work during daytime, there were about ten of us that Friday morning. As the healer was about to begin, a woman rushed in. I had never seen her before. She did not look well at all. Her face was very pale. She looked nervous and kept looking downward.
The healer began giving healing by asking the one sitting to his right what she wanted to receive. Afterward, he asked the next one the same question and worked on her. When it was my turn, I could feel energy working on me for quite a while, and the energy was powerful. Throughout the healing, he remained sitting on his chair, and did not walk to work on anybody.
When it was the woman's turn, she seemed to go through a deep healing process. At one point, the healer asked if any one of us had learned healing. (I recalled this event from memory because it would take too much time to look through my journals. I believed a few had raised their hands. At the time, I had not learned any healing modality.) He asked one of them to hold the woman's feet to ground her energy. He worked on this woman for a long time. Right in front of our eyes, we saw her transformation. The color returned to her face. As she came out of the healing, she raised her head. She looked very different from the time she walked in. Her face was radiant! The healer said to her that other people's strong negative view against her particularly that of an older male had formed like a hook on the back of her neck; that was why she felt pain and could not raise her head. The woman confirmed what the healer said. She fell in love with a man whose family was wealthy. The man's side of family looked down on her especially her father-in-law. Eventually, she could not stand the stress of her marriage, and asked for a divorce. She thought she would feel better after the divorce. However, she continued to feel very sick, and her visits to the doctors did not help.
The woman's life story touched me deeply. If I had not witnessed the woman's healing, I never thought one's strong negative view could have such an impact on another person.
As human beings, most of us might not pay much attention to our thought and the words we spoke. When the man said he felt the electricity in my words, the human I wondered what it meant. The truth was the word / sound that came out of our mouth was energy, and each one of us might express a different tone / frequency / vibration. Everything is energy. Sometimes it was not a coincidence that someone called or came as we kept thinking about him or her.
Other than the circle on Thursday mornings, I seldom went to any class or event at the center. I was glad I was there to witness the woman's healing that Friday morning. I could not imagine how painful it had been for her to bear that invisible hook at the back of her neck.
May we remember everything is energy. Be kind and be gentle not only to others, but to ourselves too.
Many blessings,
Q of D
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