Some people here in USA found it offensive when people spoke in languages other than English in public. When we held that opinion against others, we might not have realized we were the ones to taste the negative / unpleasant emotion first before we projected it outward.We had to understand children might easily learn a new language, but it was not as easy for their parents / grandparents / great grandparents. For a few years, the family (a couple with 2 sons) that lived next door was from a Middle Eastern country. The man could not speak English. He was kind and considerate. He often came out of his apartment to hold the entrance door open when he saw us unloading groceries from our car. His wife spoke some English. Later, she found a job working in a hotel. After a couple of years, their sons spoke English fluently. They had moved to another place some years ago.
In time, a cashier and I greeted each other with "How are you doing my friend?" I did not recall when or how it started. I did not do anything different from other customers except I had always greeted others truthfully. (Re my post Truthfulness ) One day, I lined up at her lane again. As she said, "Nice to see you, my friend!" I heard a cashier from another lane protested, "No, she (i.e. me) is my friend!" I turned my head backward, and saw the other cashier's smiling face. The other cashier was also very nice. She had told me that she felt happy whenever she saw the sun. So there they were saying "she is my friend" and "no, she is my friend". I said, "We are all friends!" My friend said, "Yes, we are all friends! How good are you that we fight to call you 'my friend'!" We looked at each other and smiled happily.
In a joyful mood, I left the store, and drove to another store. I parked the car, and walked toward the store. As I was near the entrance, a black gentleman happened to walk out of the store. He exclaimed, "Oh, I love your smile! Wow! Please keep smiling! Don't stop smiling! What a blessing! Many, many blessings to you!" While he was walking away, he looked back at me and asked me to keep smiling and don't stop. I looked at him and said, "Many blessings to you too."
This experience reminded me of Who Smiles? Who Sees?
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I was second in line in a checkout lane. The cashier seemed to be agitated. Soon a store supervisor came. He was a young man is his early 20 s. While we looked on, the cashier sternly scolded him for a while. It seemed the cashier might have been scheduled to take a break at a certain time, but the supervisor was ten minutes late. (I supposed the cashier might be hungry.) The young man did not react, and just let her blew off steam. Afterward, the cashier gave him the key for the register, and left. It was an awkward moment. Every one at the checkout lane included the bagger was quiet, and the air around us was somewhat heavy.
I had come to this store regularly. Over the speaker, I heard the management called his name from time to time. For example, there was nobody at the Customer Service, he was told to go over there to help. He helped other cashiers patiently too. He seemed to be the one that was available and willing to help here and there.
When it was time for me to pay for the groceries, I looked at him and said, "XXXXXX, the world appreciates someone like you who is always willing to help here and there." It took a short while for him to take it in. Then he said, "Thank you." The air around us changed. There was a smile on everyone's face in the checkout lane. The bagger looked at me with a big smile and said, "Thank you."
"See something beautiful, Say something beautiful" was what I said during a zoom meeting. We could see all the wrong in the world, in others or in ourselves. But, we had to remember the importance of affirming the good / the beautiful that we saw in ourselves, in others and in the world.
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Some of my friends that were into spirituality were surprised to hear that I watched football and basketball games in addition to watching news daily. I watched some TV shows and dramas too.
One day, I was in a store.
It was common courtesy to put a checkout divider / stick at the end of our groceries on the conveyer belt. Sometimes the one in the front looked back at the one next in line with a smile / nod as an acknowledgement while placing the divider. The one behind would say "thank you", i.e. thanks for putting the divider there so that he / she could begin loading the groceries onto the conveyer belt. This was not something that we must do. In my experience, I observed women were more likely to greet the one that stood behind than men did.
As I put the divider behind my groceries, I observed the man behind me was tall and might be in his 30 s. He looked straight ahead. I kind of smiled in my heart because my son had told me he often looked straight ahead instead of observing as I did.
I bought quite some groceries that day. As I was about to put the groceries into the trunk of my car, someone walked past me. It was the tall young man. He had bought only a few items. He walked to a big van which was next to my car. I saw that he wore our state football team T-shirt.
I smiled and said, "Too bad the XXXXX lost (in the playoff)."
He said, "It does not matter because they did good."
I said, "Yes, it is true. It has been a good year for our state. The university also won the national championship."
He quickly put what he bought into his van, and came over to my side. He asked, "May I help you to load the water into your car?"
I gladly said, "Yes! Thank you!"
He loaded the pack of 24 bottles of water into the trunk.
I continued to load the rest of the items. I was somewhat surprised he continued to stand near where I was. He stood there respectfully. I did not feel the need to ask why.
After I finished putting everything in the trunk, he said, "May I push your shopping cart over there so as to save you a trip?"
Indeed, the cart corral was not near where I parked my car. I looked at this young man with a broad smile, and thanked him wholeheartedly. Then he joyfully pushed the shopping cart toward the cart corral.
In this brief interaction, two strangers through a simple conversation on sports, one kindly offered help and one gladly received help. How great was (is) the Loving Divine!
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I learned some new words while writing this post, e.g. cart corral. For years I thought my limited English was my shortcoming and a Chinese woman in a western culture was a disadvantage. It turned out it was by design that I came in this way. (Re Our Self-perceived Shortcoming and Disadvantages )
It might seem I spent too much time on the mundane stuff. I came to live an ordinary life as an ordinary person. If I knew nothing about sports, the above conversation would not have taken place. I am alright I am.