How do you see or view yourself? Do you regard yourself as extraordinary or ordinary? Do you feel that your existence is of importance?
Last Sunday, I went to church * for the first time since the move. (* This was not the small church in the other state that I used to go to. Please see postscript.) The congregation sang "I am important, you are important, every one is important" to begin the Sunday service. I had not heard the song before. Listening to the song reminded me of my own lesson of importance.
You see, I always regarded myself as a simple Chinese woman. I held the attitude that I was not superior or inferior, and we were all equal by nature. However, for years, I also identified myself with the worldly credentials - a Chinese woman who was not highly educated and could not speak English fluently. Though I never felt any less or more than anybody, I considered the earthly credentials or limitations as part of who I was.
It was in this kind of mentality that I had a hard time accepting what my guides and angels said. In readings, they had asked me to sit among people, teach more, write, and share with others the wisdom. "What wisdom?" I wondered. Eventually, I did step out of my comfort zone, and went to churches / gatherings to mix with people. I was always willing to be of service since I was young. Occasionally, I was surged with powerful, loving energy. My hands and body were guided to move in a certain direction. In order not to be seen or noticed, I always sat near the back.
My lesson of importance happened when I was living in the other state where the small church was.
One Sunday after service, I saw a woman. I seemed to know her, but I could not recall who she was. She looked at me and said, "You do know your importance in this church and the community, don't you?" I looked into her eyes. Instead of asking her why she said that, I somehow said, "Yes, I know."
At home, I beat myself up. How egotistic was I to say I knew I was important to the church and the community! Why in the world did I say 'I know'? In reality, I never thought about if I was important or not important! On different occasions, people I barely knew said things about me that I had never expected. I did not know how to respond for I was not used to ask questions. Many times I walked away feeling very unsettled. That night, I prayed for another chance to meet her. I vowed I would open my mouth and ask.
By the Grace of God, we met again two days later. I was at church participating in the healing prayer service. When the service was over, she walked in! I realized she was the retired minister whom I met once before she moved to another state. After others left, she told me she was visiting, and would leave in a few days. She said she saw energies flowing through me to heal others on Sunday. She 'got' that it was important for me to know the importance of my presence so that I could be more or more could be manifested. (We talked for quite some time. There was more to our conversation, but I believed I had written about it in another post.)
At home, I beat myself up. How egotistic was I to say I knew I was important to the church and the community! Why in the world did I say 'I know'? In reality, I never thought about if I was important or not important! On different occasions, people I barely knew said things about me that I had never expected. I did not know how to respond for I was not used to ask questions. Many times I walked away feeling very unsettled. That night, I prayed for another chance to meet her. I vowed I would open my mouth and ask.
By the Grace of God, we met again two days later. I was at church participating in the healing prayer service. When the service was over, she walked in! I realized she was the retired minister whom I met once before she moved to another state. After others left, she told me she was visiting, and would leave in a few days. She said she saw energies flowing through me to heal others on Sunday. She 'got' that it was important for me to know the importance of my presence so that I could be more or more could be manifested. (We talked for quite some time. There was more to our conversation, but I believed I had written about it in another post.)
However, it was easy to fall back into our old patterns of living and thinking which we were so used to. We regarded change as a challenge and failed to see it as an opportunity for the better. As a result, we often stuck to our old views of situations, relationships, ourselves, and others even if we felt the need to change. In my case, not long after the talk with the minister, I went back to the old view of self. I did not want to think about the importance of my presence.
One night, I went to hear S spoke. She was the widow of the founder of our church. She visited the church two or three times every year. We did not get to know each other well, but she always treated me with kindness. I loved and respected her. When her talk was over, I went to thank her. Unexpectedly, she reached out to hold both of my hands. She said, "Your presence in this church is very important." For a second, I froze. In my heart, I said, "No, I am not important. You are!" That was truly how I felt. I tried not to take what she said personally.
One day not long after, I had another similar experience. I was on my way out of the church. I came across a woman at the door. I saw her at church occasionally. When she saw me, she said, "Your presence in the church is very important." She then walked away. I did not know what to make of it.
On Mar. 7, 2011, I went to the Peace Circle which was facilitated monthly by a wonderful spiritual teacher and musician. (I believed I had joined the circle since 2009.) It was held in a big spiritual center. As I approached the entrance of the big building, it suddenly dawned on me that I had as yet grasped the significance of the message. At that very moment, I recalled the angel channel had related in the reading of Dec. 2001 that it was important for me to understand the importance of the role I played. I realized I had taken a stand of denial towards the message because I held onto the attitude that I was neither superior nor inferior. However, to recognize the importance of one's presence (or existence) had nothing to do with superiority or inferiority.
With this realization, I prayed, "Please help me to truly accept that my presence is important, not of self-importance but of truth. Please help me with an affirmation to get me into the right mode of thinking. Thank you."
Incidentally, the facilitator of the Peace Circle asked us to set our intention by affirming the I AM. Most at the circle voiced their intention such as I am peace and I am harmony. I did not. Before we closed the circle, the facilitator asked us to continue setting our intention in the next few days using the powerful I AM.
In the morning of Mar. 11, 2011, I woke up wanting to say my affirmation aloud, but I did not. I thought I would do it after I took a shower. When I came out of the shower, my husband was ready to go shopping with me. So I did not do as I intended to.
We stopped at the bank. Afterward, we got back onto the road. Soon I saw the car in front of us was with a 444 license plate! I was very excited. I said to my husband, "Look! It is 444, the power of God's love!" He did not react as I did although he had witnessed the significance of 444 with me on many occasions. My heart was filled with awe and joy. All the while, the car radio was on, and music was playing.
Seeing 444, I felt I should say my affirmation NOW! With the car radio music on, I said loudly -
I AM IMPORTANT
The music on the radio stopped! I was surprised because my husband and I had not touched any button. When I stopped talking, the music resumed.
I thought I should say my affirmation 3 times (that meant 2 more to go). So I continued.
I AM IMPORTANT
I AM IMPORTANT NOT OF EGO BUT OF TRUTH
I went on to say, "I know the role I play is important, and I accept the responsibilities that come with it. I am grateful for all the love, support and guidance from the Elders, my soul family, guides, angels, Jesus Christ, Mary the Magdalene, Buddha, Quan Yin....." As I spoke, the music completely stopped again. Neither my husband nor I had touched the radio. I continued talking for a while. The radio came back on before I finished. I could feel powerful energy all around me. I said to my husband, "How strange it is the music stopped twice while I talked!" My husband just kind of looked at me. He said, "Yes, it stops. So . . ."
One year, the church invited old members of the church to come back and tell us stories of their spiritual journey. They told us many amazing personal stories of the touches of God. They talked about how their experiences transformed them. Some eventually answered to their callings. They took on the roles of guides and facilitators of spiritual workshops. (They did not see themselves as teachers, and preferred to be called guides.)
Their stories and courage touched me deeply. After the gathering, many nights I thought about the guidance of my guides and angels. Sometimes the inner prompting to step forward was so strong that I thought 'Yes! I can and I will'. As time went by, I concluded I could not, "They are professionals and are highly educated. I can't even speak English well!"
I easily embraced others. I saw other's individual unique beauty and potential. However, when it came to myself, I kept going back to the old me based on worldly credentials which was formed long ago. Over the years, I had allowed the negative feeling of self to take hold in my consciousness.
Incidentally, the facilitator of the Peace Circle asked us to set our intention by affirming the I AM. Most at the circle voiced their intention such as I am peace and I am harmony. I did not. Before we closed the circle, the facilitator asked us to continue setting our intention in the next few days using the powerful I AM.
In the morning of Mar. 11, 2011, I woke up wanting to say my affirmation aloud, but I did not. I thought I would do it after I took a shower. When I came out of the shower, my husband was ready to go shopping with me. So I did not do as I intended to.
We stopped at the bank. Afterward, we got back onto the road. Soon I saw the car in front of us was with a 444 license plate! I was very excited. I said to my husband, "Look! It is 444, the power of God's love!" He did not react as I did although he had witnessed the significance of 444 with me on many occasions. My heart was filled with awe and joy. All the while, the car radio was on, and music was playing.
Seeing 444, I felt I should say my affirmation NOW! With the car radio music on, I said loudly -
I AM IMPORTANT
The music on the radio stopped! I was surprised because my husband and I had not touched any button. When I stopped talking, the music resumed.
I thought I should say my affirmation 3 times (that meant 2 more to go). So I continued.
I AM IMPORTANT
I AM IMPORTANT NOT OF EGO BUT OF TRUTH
I went on to say, "I know the role I play is important, and I accept the responsibilities that come with it. I am grateful for all the love, support and guidance from the Elders, my soul family, guides, angels, Jesus Christ, Mary the Magdalene, Buddha, Quan Yin....." As I spoke, the music completely stopped again. Neither my husband nor I had touched the radio. I continued talking for a while. The radio came back on before I finished. I could feel powerful energy all around me. I said to my husband, "How strange it is the music stopped twice while I talked!" My husband just kind of looked at me. He said, "Yes, it stops. So . . ."
My feeling of 'awe' and his reaction of 'so' are all in divine order. It is the case with the experience of the touch of God (or the Divine or the Source). Sometimes when we see something as the wonder of God, others may not necessary see it that way at all. They may think it happens by chance, or it is all in one's mind to see something out of nothing. It is perfectly alright however one reacts to an incident like this.
The human I did not want to share about my lesson of importance. The message could easily be misinterpreted as an implication that I was more important. I was not more important, and that was not what the lesson of importance was about at all. I did not want to be misunderstood. Therefore, I did not want to write about it. However, as the congregation sang "I am important, you are important, every one is important", I understood then how important it was for me to share with you the lesson that I had learned.
For a long time, I regarded the worldly credentials as part of me. I saw myself only as the role I played in my family and at work which was simple and ordinary in the worldly sense. When things got tough such as during the restaurant years, I reacted to situations and lived in the turmoil of my emotions. (Does it sound familiar to you, my friends?) Through life lessons, touches of the Divine, help and guidance from my guides and angels, I gradually learned life was not what it seemed. We were not just our bodies and our personalities. We were (are) interconnected. I began to see others and life from a new light. (Click to view my other posts We are all much more than who we appear to be and Who are we and the meaning of life.)One year, the church invited old members of the church to come back and tell us stories of their spiritual journey. They told us many amazing personal stories of the touches of God. They talked about how their experiences transformed them. Some eventually answered to their callings. They took on the roles of guides and facilitators of spiritual workshops. (They did not see themselves as teachers, and preferred to be called guides.)
Their stories and courage touched me deeply. After the gathering, many nights I thought about the guidance of my guides and angels. Sometimes the inner prompting to step forward was so strong that I thought 'Yes! I can and I will'. As time went by, I concluded I could not, "They are professionals and are highly educated. I can't even speak English well!"
I easily embraced others. I saw other's individual unique beauty and potential. However, when it came to myself, I kept going back to the old me based on worldly credentials which was formed long ago. Over the years, I had allowed the negative feeling of self to take hold in my consciousness.
Any time when we have negative thought about self / others / situations, we blocked the flow of Love. In order not to let our negativity take hold, we have to live consciously. We have to pay attention to our thoughts, and take responsibility of our thoughts and actions; otherwise, it will be hard to break free from the mental blockage that has built up.
In my case, the mental blockage that had built up was dense. Looking back, I realized my guides and angels had tried to help me to look at myself from a new light on numerous occasions as well as through dreams. For instance, while I kept going back to the thought that I was not qualified in 2008/9, two incidents really made me to re-think my view.
One day, a friend brought with her a deck of 'A Course In Miracle' cards to the circle. She asked one of us to pick a card. I did not remember if I did that or someone else did. I could not recall the exact words. It quoted something like 'Your worth is not because of what you do or learn, your worth is established by God'. Sitting there I thought "Our worth is established by God and it is not something I learn! I was wrong to think I was not qualified."
One day, another friend asked me if I would like to listen to her collection of spiritual lectures by the founder of our church. She had a set of 8 CD. She had meditated for decades and was very open to the divine. I asked her to intuitively pick one CD for me. At home, I listened to the lecture. Below were some of the words that this wonderful spiritual teacher and channel said.
My lesson of importance - When I heard the message 'your presence is very important' I took it as a contradiction to my belief that 'every one is equal by nature'. I got it all wrong.
One day, another friend asked me if I would like to listen to her collection of spiritual lectures by the founder of our church. She had a set of 8 CD. She had meditated for decades and was very open to the divine. I asked her to intuitively pick one CD for me. At home, I listened to the lecture. Below were some of the words that this wonderful spiritual teacher and channel said.
"You are never asked to do a thing that your are not qualified to do. Now that doesn't mean from your point of view of qualifications, but it does mean that God knew he was going to put you in that role years ago . . . And you are qualified in the way that he wants qualification, and very often not in the way the world sees qualification."His words were so profound. For the first time in my life, I felt some of my doubts were lifted off me.
My lesson of importance - When I heard the message 'your presence is very important' I took it as a contradiction to my belief that 'every one is equal by nature'. I got it all wrong.
In truth, every one is important - I am, you are, we are. When we recognize the importance of our presence, we will live our life with conviction. We will embrace life, live a purposeful life, and contribute to the well-being of the whole.
As a channel of healing energy, I was not functioning as best as I could because of doubts and my misunderstanding of truth. Therefore, I must recognize and accept the importance of the role I played before I could be able to truly live my life with conviction. That was why my guides and angels brought about the lesson of importance
I would like to point out that when my spirit guide said it was important for me to understand the importance of the role I played, he did not mean I was more important.
He has always maintained that no one is more important than another. We take on different roles when we live a physical life. A teacher is not more important than a student. A man with little means is not any less than a rich man. What is important is how we live our life. Do we live with love? Have we made other people's life easier? Have we attended to our work no matter how minimal and unimportant in the eyes of man with a joyful heart? Do we bring joy and peace into other people's life? These are some of the accomplishments of a good life in the eyes of the Divine. It is not fame, success or wealth as in the eyes of man.I want to take this opportunity to thank a healer whom I have never met. In 2008, my family was going through a period of stress. A pastor told me of a healer who offered free distant spiritual energy healing. The pastor kindly gave me a print out of the healer's newsletter (by then I did not have Internet service). He told me all I had to do was to read the newsletter and mentally set my intention that I and my family be included in the healing. I did. As soon as I set my intention, I felt powerful energy working on me.
In Nov. 2010 I subscribed to the Internet because I wanted to video chat with my loved ones. It took me quite some time before I went online to listen to music and tried 'to explore' as my son had suggested. One day, I thought of this healer. I was glad he still offered free distant healing once a month. He offered month long healing sessions for a fee. Those who signed up received healing on Wed. nights and other days when it was deemed necessary.
Strangely, other than the free session, I also found myself in a powerful field of healing energy every Wed. night although I had not registered for healing. I supposed the loving beings that worked with him paid no attention to the material side of this world. They gave healing where healing was needed for those who had asked and were open to receive. Of course, in many ways, it was a reflection of the healer's pure intention of service. I slept much better. Some physical pain disappeared. I was very grateful. I wanted to join one of his month long sessions as my way of saying 'thank you'. Every month his healing had a different focus. He sent out his newsletter just a few days before the first session of a new month. Since I did not have a credit card, I figured it would be too late if I sent a check. I sent out a check in mid-Feb. 2011 before I received his newsletter. I asked to be included in his March healing sessions. I believed the month long healing sessions had helped me greatly in clearing my mental blockage.
Thank you, God, guides, angels, the messengers who delivered the message, the healer and all the loving beings who work with him.
This is the longest post I had ever written. Originally, I was hesitant to share with you my lesson of importance. I know now it is all in divine order. For those of you who already know the importance of your presence, your light is making a difference in the world. Thank you. For those of you who think you are not important, if my post has caused you to re-think about your importance, the purpose of sharing with you my experience is served. For those of you who are somewhat like the old me, have doubts and have not yet answered to your heart's calling, I hope that my story will inspire you to take a step forward as my brothers and sisters had inspired me.
YOU ARE IMPORTANT. YOU ARE.
Love,
Q of D
P. S. In 2012, my older son got a job offer in a state that was close to the state we used to live. It was not a long term job. He accepted it because he had always wanted to move back to the state where he was born and where his brother (and friends) were. Within six months, he got a job in this state and we moved back. Please view Life is as God is - Turbulence is a life force
