I was nicknamed the Queen of Dreams

Greetings!

This post was originally published over a year ago after I promised to share with you more about me.  I suppose it is alright to publish it again since some of you may wonder about the meaning of Q of D.

I was born in a traditional Chinese family.  I was the youngest of three children. According to my family, I was born three months late (in other words, my mother carried me in her womb for a year).  I must be born quite an ugly duckling or a very different looking baby because some relatives expressed a great relief when they saw me again as a little girl.  My older sister was known to be the pretty one because her skin was white, and she had big, beautiful eyes.  However, my mother loved me just the same if not more.  My mother was very kind, gentle, loving, patient, and generous. She moved on in 1984.

My parents did not talk to us about any religion.  However, I had faith or a belief in the Divine even as a child.  When I was small, I had long, deep, and real life like dreams. I used to wake up and talk about my 'stories' in the morning.  They were fascinating to me because it was like watching movies in my dreams.  So my family gave me the nickname 'The Queen of Dreams'.  Eventually, I stopped talking about my dreams for I observed people were getting bored of hearing them.  Yes, I was quite sensitive to people's feelings as a child.  Looking back, the dreams I had when I was young could be my past life stories.

I called most of my dreams 'feel dreams'.  I felt what went on, but I did not see vivid images.  When I saw people and things in colorful, vivid images, I called them 'vivid dreams'.  In my experience, a vivid dream right before I woke up was of great significance.  They were prophetic dreams.  If I woke up from a vivid dream feeling very anxious, it was an indication that something similar to the dream was about to take place on the same day.  Sometimes I woke up from a vivid dream feeling deeply touched emotionally.  The emotion stayed with me for days or weeks.  As time went by, I seemed to have totally forgotten about the dream.  What was unique about such a dream was the forgetting of the dream, and the sudden realization on a much later day that what happened had already been foretold.  The feeling at the moment of realization was profound beyond words.  These dreams made me feel there was much more to life than what I thought.

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Now, let me share with you one of my dreams.  One morning, I woke up from a vivid dream.  I was not present in the dream.  I was observing what was going on.  In the dream, my maternal grandfather was talking to my mother.  My grandfather looked very healthy.  However, the observing me 'got' that he only looked healthy on the outside.  In truth, he was not, and he might die.  Suddenly, he seemed to remember my birthday.  He wanted to give my Mom a 'Lai See'** to bring home for me.  In the next scene, I saw my mother holding a 'Lai See', and there was $30 inside.

** 'Lai See' is a small red packet in which we put money inside as a gift.  In our culture, the older generations give 'Lai See' to the younger generations as blessings on special occasions such as Chinese New Year Day and birthdays.  In the old days, only the birthdays of the older generations such as grandparents were important.  We celebrated their birthdays with a big feast or gathering.  Children's birthdays were not celebrated because people thought children would have their turns when they got old. In my family, our mother gave us 'Lai See' and prepared our favorite food on our birthdays.  Nowadays, many Chinese families celebrate their children's birthdays with big parties.  

At that time, as far as I knew, my grandfather was quite healthy.  My mother always let us know ahead of time if she planned to visit my grandfather.  Since she had not said anything about it, I was sure my dream was not going to happen.  My grandfather gave us 'Lai See' during the Chinese New Year holidays, but only occasionally on our birthdays.  He had many grandchildren and great-grandchildren.  I didn't think he remembered all the birthdays.  Besides, when I had the dream, my birthday had passed some months ago!  Furthermore, Grandfather's 'Lai See' in those years was either with $50 or $100 while in the dream it was $30 (not US currency).  Therefore, as vivid as it was, I  thought 'it was only a dream'.

While I was brushing my teeth, my mother suddenly said she would visit my grandfather later that day.  I almost dropped my toothbrush!  When I calmed down, I said to my mother, "Please listen to me and don't ask me why.  When you visit Grandfather, he may remember my birthday and give me a 'Lai See'.  Please take the 'Lai See' and go into a room.  Open it and check if $30 is inside.  Then give it back to either 3rd Aunt or 6th Aunt.  Just tell them I cannot accept it."  My mother had always trusted me.  She did not ask me to explain.

I felt if I did not accept the 'Lai See', my grandfather was going to be fine.  I also felt the dream was telling me to pray for him.  When my mother came home that night, she told me Grandfather suddenly remembered he had not given me a 'Lai See' for my birthday.  He asked 3rd Aunt to go to his room to get a 'Lai See'.  He always kept some money inside a drawer.  It was 3rd Aunt's idea to put $30 inside since my grandfather did not mention how much to put in.  My mother was amazed it had happened just as I said.

I did not know if the way I interpreted my dream was right or wrong.  It didn't matter. We loved Grandfather, and were glad he was with us for many more years.  He lived to almost 100 years old.

Many blessings,
Q of D