The dream of a new handbag and a new role

Greetings!

While I was reading a book, it came to me that I had forgotten to share another important dream as well as a life lesson relating to The Amazing Prophetic Dream of Moving - Story 1.  It was a lesson on gratitude and a new beginning.  Although it was my experience, but I believed it might be relevant to some of you at this time of your life too.

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At different times of our life, we might find life unfulfilling or nothing of our heart's desire seemed to work out.  I was feeling the latter in 2006.  (Please view Don't be too critical of ourselves and others in which I wrote about what happened during that period of time.)

Through the facilitator of the circle, my spirit guide had suggested for me to learn a healing art in July, 2005.  I did not follow because I could not vision myself practicing healing in a western culture.  Some time in the last quarter of 2006, I finally told my guide: "I am ready to learn healing.  Please bring me a teacher."

On Nov. 14, 2006, I had a dream.

I was in the holistic center that I went to every Thursday morning.  The owner of the center was there.  She asked me to make a list of the people that I met through the center and was thankful for.  She wanted me to write down what I felt I was thankful for next to every one on the list.  Then they would post what I wrote on the center's website.  I asked if I could do it at home and gave it to her the next Thursday.  However, she said I should start writing right there.  

So I started the list with the owner's name on the top.  I wrote down the owner's first name, and could not spell her last name.  Someone said it began with the letter D.  I was confused for I knew it was not.  As I was writing, the owner was busy cleaning up the center.  Seeing that, I stopped writing and went to help her.  We did a lot of cleaning.  When it was done, the owner left.

Then I was looking for my black handbag.  I looked everywhere and could not find it.

The scene changed.  There were many stores inside the center.  Strangely, some stores in the center sold handbags while other stores did not sell anything.  I went through the stores, and did not see my black handbag.  I was about to give up.  Suddenly, I spotted a forest green handbag!  It was then I remembered I did not use the old black handbag anymore.  I had bought a new one.  The forest green handbag was mine!  I opened the handbag and found all my stuff inside.  In the dream, I looked at my forest green handbag.  It looked nice.  I was happy.

It was nighttime.  There seemed to be classes for little kids because I saw them lining up or sitting along the side of the walls.  Before I left, I was supposed to give what I wrote to a man who was seen in the dream as slim and somewhat tall.  Since I had not finished writing, I told him I would give it to him the second day.  Then I woke up.  

In the dream, there was a sense of urgency for me to write a thank-you list.  Though I felt the dream was of significance because there were a few vivid, colorful images (e.g. the forest green handbag), I did not know how to interpret it.  In time, as with most of my dreams, I forgot about it.

On March 24 & 25, 2007, I participated in a 2-day healing workshop.  It was a life transforming experience.

One morning soon after, I picked up a pen and wrote a thank-you letter to all my friends at the center.  One by one I thanked them for what their presence meant to me.  For examples, I thanked the teacher for her love and guidance; I thanked a friend for holding peace for our circle; I thanked another friend for her inquiring mind that enabled us to learn along with her.

When I went to the Thursday circle after the healing workshop, I was shocked to learn the owner had left the center!  The facilitator of our circle whose name began with D was now the new owner.  When I said I had learned a healing art, D asked me to be the Wed. on-site healer!  (Click to view More on my journey as a channel of spiritual healing energy)

In my post "Do you have dreams looking for your handbag?", I learned handbags symbolized our earthly identities or the roles we played.  In retrospect, my dream of Nov. 2006 had foretold I would no longer be the old me (the old, black handbag).  Green was the color of healing.  The new forest green handbag symbolized my new role in healing.

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When I had the dream in Nov. 2006, the human I was not aware a new beginning was about to unfold.  Our older son was laid off in April 2007 due to the slow economy in our state.  Our younger son got married in the summer of 2007.  The day before our younger son's wedding, our older son got a new job in another state.  Therefore, our older son and us moved away not long after our younger son was married.  Owing to the love and kindness of my teacher and friend who was then the new owner of the center, I was given an opportunity to practice healing for five months before I moved to another state.

It was interesting how I was prompted to write this post.  I was reading a book when the dream came to my mind.  I had to look it up in my journal.  In a lot of ways, our inner self or the Source of our being is forever guiding.  Sometimes we or the ego might choose not to follow, but deep inside we knew what to do.  When I poured out my gratitude to my friends in writing that morning, I did not recall the dream.  I simply answered to my heart's calling spontaneously because I might be more open to my inner self after the healing workshop.

After the dream, I did not write the thank-you letter.  I wrote it many months later.   All Is Well in God's time.  I never showed it to my friends.  I wrote it and let it go.  At the time, I did not know I would be leaving the center and the state.  I did not have that piece of paper anymore.  Before I moved, my friends invited me to a restaurant.  It was there I tearfully said my goodbye.  I thanked them, and told them one by one of what their presence had meant to me.

I did not see the original owner of the center again.  She was truly one of the most wonderful beings that I had ever met.  She was very gifted intuitively.  (She can see, hear, and talk to spirit and angels.  She is a healer, a reader and a channel.)  She did not work as a medium or healer in the center.  I believed her main goal of opening a spiritual center was to help others on their spiritual journey.  She was like the hub of a wheel by bringing in exceptional spiritual teachers, healers, psychics, and other light workers to the center.  Some visited the center from out of state.  I am eternally grateful for her love, support, and encouragement.

So why am I inspired to write about the experience?  What is the lesson here?  I will share with you my thought in another post.

Love and blessings,
Q of D

We are all much more than who we appear to be

Greetings!

From July 2011 to Dec. 2012, I had written 3 posts about the Camp Chesterfield trip in 2006.  I decided to put two of the posts together.  This is the first post.  The second post is Don't be too critical of ourselves and others .

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In spiritual circles or gatherings, the facilitators sometimes ask the participants to describe themselves in a few words using the I AM.  For examples, I am joy, love, healer, psychic, teacher, writer, and musician are some of the words people use.

When I was being asked to do that for the first time in 2005, I really did not know what to say.  I was among a group of long time spiritual seekers, professional psychics, and healers.  In every sense, I was a novice.  When it was my turn, all I could say after some thought was "I am simple".  I felt very relieved when these words came out of my mouth.  In many ways, that was how I regarded myself - simple.

A year later, the teacher of our circle rented a big bus and brought us to Camp Chesterfield.  It was a spiritualist center of light established in 1886 in Indiana.  I believed about 22 of us went on the trip. (Please view my post A Man's Face on the Moon Card Saved My Day which was also about this trip.)  When we arrived, we saw many other groups from different places were visiting too.  In the late afternoon, we attended the service in the chapel.

Upon entering the chapel, we were given a small piece of paper.  We were told to write a question or two as well as names of people that we wish to contact (e.g. loved ones who had moved on).  We should then fold the paper into a little square and put it in a basket.  Four ministers, all were spiritual development teachers and psychic mediums, went on the stage.  They took turns giving readings by picking a paper randomly from the basket.  They did not open the paper to read what were written inside.  The first two ministers related information accurately with ease.  Their presence were joyful and uplifting.  Some of my friends got read.  We were all amazed at how good the ministers were.

The third minister was introduced as "The Teacher of Teachers".  She began giving readings by simply thrusting the papers up in the air.  She never touched the papers in the basket.  Her readings captivated the audience.  She was incredible!  Suddenly, a field of loving energy enveloped me.  I knew immediately it was my turn to receive a reading.  The minister said a name and asked who knew him.  It was my spirit guide's name.  I wrote his name on the small piece of paper.  I raised my hand.  This was what happened afterwards.  

"Oh, he is a spirit guide," she added.  (In my heart, I said, "Wow!")

"Oh, you have many gifts and talents.  You are gifted in teaching, healing, writing, singing, arts......" she blurted out some more.

I felt very embarrassed.  I wanted to hide.  I swayed my head, and repeatedly said 'no' in a small voice.

"You have that many gifts and talents.  Are you an entertainer?" she asked.

"No, I don't have that many talents!"  I said.

She stopped.  She looked at me.  She had been spectacular in her earlier readings, but there I was, denying everything she said of me.  She took a deep breath.

"Okay, let's start over again," she said.  "Are you gifted in writing?" she said.

Some of my friends were sitting behind me.  "Yes, she is," the teacher of our circle said in a soft voice in the way of urging me to say 'yes'.

"Yes, I am."  I knew I must answer 'yes'.

The minister said, "You have done it many times (i.e. lifetimes).  You have taught, you have written books, and you have done all of that.  Just claim them!"  She then answered my second question on the paper.  (Of course, the answer came from my guide for the minister never touched the papers in the basket.)  She went on to describe an incident of the Light.  She asked if I remembered that incident.  I said 'no' because I had no recollection of it at all.  She said, "Just remember when the Light comes to you again, don't be afraid.  Open and receive."

The fourth minister was also quite amazing.  She was a spiritual artist who drew pictures while she was giving readings.

On our ride back, my friends asked me how I could say 'no' when the minister asked about my Light experience.  They were deeply touched when I told them the incident. They still remembered it clearly, but somehow I was the one who had completely forgotten about it.

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Now let me fast forward  to 2007.  In March, I participated in a 2-day spiritual energy healing workshop facilitated by the teacher from North Carolina.  She was very attuned to the Divine, and was in constant communication with the angels and ascended masters.  The teacher and us sat in a circle.  There were five participants. The teacher asked us to give a brief introduction of ourselves.  Then she asked us to say what our gifts were.  When I heard it, I thought it was odd.  Why did she ask us to do that?  What gifts had I?

M told us one day her daughter was in pain.  She put her hand on her daughter and the pain disappeared.  She said her gift was the power of healing.  Two other participants who were professional healers talked about their stories and affirmed their gifts.

Then it was my turn.  I told them I had not learned any healing art, but I could feel energy.  I said, "On a few occasions, I hear what my guides and angels say which means I have the gift of clairaudience.  I can feel other people's deep hidden sadness, but I cannot see.  I think the greatest gift from God is my love.  I love freely and unconditionally.  Sometimes I actually feel loving energy flows out from me to others.  Oh, I believe I also have the gift of a voice.  On many occasions, people cry when I talk.  I do not understand why, but people tell me there is something in my voice that touches the inner most of their hearts.  A few people have said that there is electricity as I speak."  When I finished talking, I was very surprised that I had that much to say.  It was so unlike the normal me, but I found myself at peace with what I said.   The teacher said, "You have all the appropriate gifts of a healer."

Looking back, I realized the teacher was asking us to claim our gifts as the minister at Camp Chesterfield had asked me to.

In my workshops, I had asked the participants to speak up about their gifts.  Some said they like to sing / draw, but they did not think they were gifted.  I told them if we felt joy as we sang or drew, then, we were gifted in singing or drawing.  We should not compare and judge ourselves thinking that we were not good enough.  We were all interconnected.  I believed even when we sang joyfully in the privacy of our home, we were sharing our joy with the whole.

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In my December 2001 reading by a known angel channel, I learned I should teach and write.  For years, I doubted.  I was a Chinese woman with a high school education (not in USA).  My English vocabulary was very limited.  I could not speak English fluently.  I identified who I was with my earthly qualifications, and thought there was no way I could ever teach or write.

I share with you these experiences to show that we are all much more than who we appear to be.  We are expressions of the Loving Divine.  We have many gifts, and are multi-talented.  If you want, please take some time to think about your gifts and talents.  Remember not to judge yourself or compare.  Then claim your gifts and talents by saying them out loud.  We are far more than who we think we are.

Happy holidays to you!

Love,
Q of D

Don't be too critical of ourselves and others

Greetings!

In my post We are all much more than who we appear to be, I wrote about our 2006 trip to Camp Chesterfield in Indiana.  However, I had not shared with you the questions I wrote on the small piece of paper.  I realized it was important for me to share with you truthfully.  As we shared truthfully, we connected on a heart to heart level.  My life experience could be an inspiration to others, and so were others' experiences to me.

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In the late afternoon, we attended the service in the chapel.  Upon entering, a minister gave each one of us a small piece of paper (e.g. 3" x 3" note pater).  We were told to write down the names of those we wanted to contact, e.g. our friends and relatives that had moved on.  We could also write down a question or two that we wanted answers.  Then we should fold the paper into a little square and place it in a basket.

What did I want answers for?  Two questions came to my mind.  I wrote the name of my spirit guide on the paper, and asked him the following two questions -

                                     Am I really going to teach and write?

                                     Job wise, am I doing enough?

The minister began the reading by saying that I had many gifts and talents.  I had expected a simple 'yes or no' answer to my questions!  Feeling embarrassed of what was said of me, I denied I had this talent or that ability.  The minister finally said: "You have done it many times.  You have taught, you have written books, and you have done all of that.  Just claim them."  (Click to view We are all much more than who we appear to be to read about my guide's answer for my first question.)

My second question had much to do with  The grand prize and the second reading.  During the reading, I was told to consider volunteering in soup kitchen and hospital. 

In truth, I had been contemplating about volunteering since the beginning of 2006.  Looking back, I must be receiving guidance from my soul.  However, I did not know where to begin.  I knew nothing about searching online.  (I only subscribed for Internet service near the end of 2010.)  I talked to my friends.  Later, I signed up and went through a short training as a volunteer for hospice.  I also applied to be a volunteer in a hospital.  After many phone calls, Chest X-ray (proof of health), and two interviews, the woman in charge of volunteers asked me to purchase a uniform.  That was about it.  They never scheduled me to work or returned my calls.  At the time of the trip, months had gone by, and there had been no progress. 

Here was my guide's answer to my 2nd question channeled through the minister.

"One is always very critical of self.  What is enough?  If you think you have not done enough, you will always feel not enough.  ***

*** The minister / medium never touched the papers in the basket.  The answer was definitely from my spirit guide.  She said his name and knew he was a spirit guide.  The minister was called "The Teacher of teachers" by the other mediums on the stage.  She was truly amazing.

My spirit guide was right.  When I thought I might not have done enough, I was holding a negative view against myself.  I choose to share with you the response from my guide because some of you might be like me - sometimes we are too critical of ourselves.  It is important to pay attention to our thoughts.  

Weeks / months after the Camp Chesterfield trip, I decided to put the whole thing behind me.  I went to the hospital.  I walked into the woman's office.  (She had a small office all to herself.)  I handed her the uniform.  I did not say anything other than asking for a refund.  She was quiet and kept looking downward.  I got the money back and left.  The hospital had every right to accept or deny a volunteer.  I would have appreciated it if the woman in charge had been direct or honest with me.  I eventually volunteered in a soup kitchen for the homeless until I had to move to another state.  It was a wonderful experience, and I was grateful.  (If you want to read about my soup kitchen experience, please view Story 2 - Doris no longer works there )

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When we follow the divine guidance, it does not necessary mean things will unfold smoothly or the way we want.  Sometimes we still have to go through blocks and bumps.  All of these are just part of life.   At times we have to accept what we see as setbacks and go from there.  There may be lessons for us to learn in every turn of our life.  We may wonder why this or that happens (or why it does not happen).  As a friend says: "Only God (or Source / higher self) knows what is the best for us."

As human beings, we don't see the big picture around ** a situation.  Sometimes we easily blame others or ourselves.  Through my experiences, I learn to turn within when my initial reaction to a situation was not of love, e.g. fear, hurt, anger, and confusion.  I learn the importance of maintaining my peace, and don't take things personally.  I also learn to surrender and trust that All Is Well in the divine plan.

** Behind a situation seems to be correct grammatically, but I choose to use the word 'around'.  Sometimes we may think the outcome of a situation is fixed.  It may not necessary be.  Every decision we make, even a small one, changes the scenario.  On some occasions, the change may be very subtle. At other times, what is in front of us can be completely changed after we have made a choice.  Our choices or decisions are like the pebbles being thrown into the water, and there are rippling effects no matter we notice them or not.  

So, my friends, take it easy on this journey of life, don't be too hard on ourselves and others, love and laugh more.  It is alright if we cry or feel sad.  However, we have to remember we don't have to dwell on those feelings that block the flow of love and joy.

May your days be filled with joy and laughter!

Love,
Q of D