Six years ago, I went to a holistic festival in a big banquet hall organized by the Center that I went to every Thursday. Upon entering, a woman asked me to write down my name and phone number on a small piece of paper for a drawing at the end of the day. The first booth I walked past was an organization for world peace. I put $10 into the jar for donations.
A few days later, I was surprised to learn that I had won the grand prize - a $100 gift certificate that I could use at the Center! When I went to the festival, I brought very little money with me. I did not have a job. I put $10 into the donation jar because world peace was important to me.
I used a portion of the prize for a chanting class. After the class, I decided I would not use the rest of the prize for I did not want to take advantage of the Center. Many spiritual centers were not really making money.
The certificate was good for six months. Five months later, my guides and angels kept prompting me to use it for a reading. I was hesitant to do so. In Dec. 2001, I had a reading by a known angel channel. Through her, I learned the names of my guides and angels, and got the confirmation about my mystical experience. My guides and angels said I had to understand the importance of the role I played; there was no time for me to play small, and I should put myself out there. They told me to teach more, write, and share with others my wisdom. "I am just the simple me. What wisdom do I have? My English is not good. How can I teach?" I felt I had more questions than answers after the reading. I continued to live the way I had been, and seldom socialized with people outside of the family.
As my guides prompted me to book for a reading, the owner of the center also reminded me that I should use the prize before it expired. Finally, I had the second reading near the end of March 2006. During the reading, the psychic asked me to consider volunteering in soup kitchen and hospital. In fact, I had been thinking about volunteering for quite some time before the reading. Most importantly, the psychic related this message, "There are people who had signed contracts before they came into this lifetime to be healed in your presence. However, so far you have not put yourself out there. You don't have to understand how. People may or may not realize that they have received healing, but it is in the divine plan. You may not know it, even in a small conversation, you heal people." The gift certificate was not enough to cover the reading, but the loving psychic would not accept money from me.
At home, I listened to the tape of the reading again. In July 2005, my guide told me through the teacher of the circle to learn a healing art, but I did not follow. This time I took the volunteering advice seriously for I was always willing to be of service. It was hard for the human me to accept what was said of me. I had doubts. When I finished listening, I said, "Even in a small conversation, people receive healing! How can this be?" (If you want to read about my volunteering experience in the soup kitchen, please click to view How easy it is to judge and react )
A week later, I was at the circle. The teacher began the circle by talking about spiritual truth and things that came to her during her meditation. Later, we were free to share an experience or talk about the problem in life. In recent weeks, a woman had joined us. Week after week, she talked about how her family and co-workers had treated her unfairly. The teacher and others at the circle tried to help her to look at her experiences from a different perspective. It was the same this Thursday. I observed our new friend was frustrated for she wanted us to agree with her that others had not treated her right. I did not join in because my friends had already talked to her about the right attitude towards life.
In the second hour, we moved onto something new. The teacher guided us into a meditation. Afterward, we were supposed to take turns sharing what we felt, saw, or heard during the meditation. (I usually said I saw nothing because I could not enter into that quiet space as others did. Besides, I could not visualize.) When it was my turn, I suddenly said I wanted to talk to our new friend. While I was talking, I saw her opened her mouth as if she wanted to say something. I stopped talking. She looked at me and said, "Okay." She did not say anything else. I continued talking to her for a while.
When the circle was over, I left while most stayed to chat. Before I got to my car, the new friend rushed to my side. With a strange look on her face, she said, "You know I talk back a lot, don't you?" I said, "I do not notice that." She said, "I just have a weird experience. When you talk, I want to talk back as I normally do. As I open my mouth, I 'hear' I should shut up and listen. That is why I say 'okay'. I actually feel negative energies coming out of me today. It is so weird!"
When I sat down to write my journal, I realized what happened at the circle was to show me that indeed people did heal in a small conversation.
I seldom spoke during the first few weeks or months after I joined the circle. Most of my friends were long time spiritual seekers. They spoke beautifully and wonderfully. When I finally spoke, I was surprised to hear my own voice. The founder of the Center was one of the brightest loving lights that I had ever met. On many occasions, she came and held my hands after I spoke up during the circle. Looking into my eyes, she said, "Oh, you are wonderful! Your words are profound." The truthfulness in her voice touched me deeply, and gradually I was more at ease when I spoke.
If not for the prompting of my guides and angels, I would have let the gift certificate expire. I supposed my guides really wanted to talk to me again. Other than going to the Center on Thur. morning, I did not go anywhere else. I stayed in my comfort zone, and did not go among people. An author of a book wrote that although we planned our life before we came, but about half of us failed to fulfill our main life purposes. In my case, I kept putting off doing what I should do because of my personality and self-doubts. I could have failed to fulfill my life plan if not for the persistent, loving guidance of my guides and angels.
Before I sign off, I would like to ask you a question. Is there anything you have always wanted to do or learn but you keep putting it off? It may be you want to go and help those living in the under-privileged countries. It may be you have always been interested in arts, but you think there is no future (money wise). Let your heart guide you. It may possibly be one of your life purposes.
Love and peace,
Q of D
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