Beauty is not in the garment we wear

Greetings!

There is an old Chinese saying that people bow to the expensive, elegant clothes before they show their respect to those who wear them.  In other words, in this materialistic world, people often judge others by what they wear.

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When I graduated from secondary school, my older sister advised me not to accept jobs in two particular districts with a similar reasoning.  She said, "People who work in the offices in those places wear nice, expensive clothes.  If you work there, you will have to spend all your income on cosmetics and clothes."  I knew what she said bore some truth.

However, some of the ads for job opportunities on the newspapers did not specify where the companies were located.  One week, I received responses from three companies.  Coincidentally, the companies asked me to go for interviews the following week on the same day.  Luckily, the interviews were hours apart, and I had enough time to go from one place to another.  I was successful on all the interviews. One of the jobs happened to be in the district that my sister had talked about.  It was an import and export firm.  The pay was the least among the three job offers.  Another job was a clerk position in a factory.  The pay was two times that of the import and export firm.  The salary of the other job was somewhere in the middle.  I discussed the job offers with my mother.  My mother said she trusted my judgment, and whichever job I chose would be good.  After some contemplation, I accepted the one with the least pay because I saw potential of learning on the job.

When I reported to work, I found out I was one of 7 new employees.  The company assigned us to different positions in different departments.  I never liked to talk to others about salary, however, others did.  We learned the company offered us the same monthly salary except one whose pay was a little bit less than the rest of us. To this day, I did not see the point of people asking others how much they earned.  Many people liked to compare and compete.  Some people did not want to teach others what they knew about the job fearing others might do better than they were.  To me, work was never about competing with others, but working together in harmony.    

A few days into my first job, I saw a coworker crying in the washroom.  She was new to the company just like me.  She worked in another department.  She told me she cried because she overheard other girls in the office talking about her dress.  She said she made the dress by herself.  I said she looked nice in her dress.  I told her not to feel bad because of what others said.  She was more at ease when she learned the dress I wore was very inexpensive.

The company paid us monthly.  When I received my first check, I was surprised it was more than what the company had told me.  I asked the manager of the accounting department if it was a mistake.  He told me it was not a mistake because I worked in a department where employees received additional monthly bonuses tied to the sales of the company's retail store.   (Our department had something to do with sales.)  He told me some employees working in other departments did not get these bonuses.

As life had its own plan, I actually worked some years in different companies in the two districts that my sister advised me not to.  I had always been simple, and was not into fancy clothes.  I was unassuming in every way.  Fortunately, those I worked with (the bosses as well as my coworkers) often treated me with respect.  They did not judge me by what I wore or how I looked.

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Have there been times people look down on me?  Of course, there are.  Some people like to judge what others wear or what others should wear.

One day in the restaurant years, a customer who owned a small medical office in the neighborhood came to pick up an order.  When I gave her what she ordered, she looked at me with disdain.  Then she said to me with disgust, "You do know that you work in a restaurant, don't you?  Why do you wear such an expensive shirt?"  I never expected to hear what she said because I did not wear an expensive shirt!  I said, "The shirt is not expensive.  I buy it at ..... (the name of a store).  It is on sale.  The original price is $16.  It is 50% off.  I buy it for $8.  There are still some in the store.  If you like, you can go and buy one." The woman was surprised and embarrassed.  She said, "It looks so nice.  I thought it was very expensive."  Hurriedly, she walked out of the restaurant.  Right or wrong, we lost a customer.  I did not see her again.  She was probably too embarrassed to come back.

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All of us have our preferences of what to wear.  That is why there are huge varieties of clothes and accessories.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to look beautiful, wear something nice, or wear something we feel comfortable with.  I compliment on how beautiful or handsome others look from time to time.  I don't bow to the expensive, elegant clothes.  However, I do appreciate the beauty of our creativity in clothes, arts, and music.  Most of all, the older I am, the more I can appreciate the true beauty within others as well as within me.  Beauty is not in the garment we wear.  Beauty is who we are.

Love,
Q of D
  

Do you desire change in your life?

Greetings!

A friend called.  She told me she had gone to a workshop.  I asked, "How is the workshop?"  She said, "In the workshop, we learn the techniques to live a  happy, peaceful life.  We learn how to love ourselves, treat others, and look at situations in our lives with new perspectives."  I asked, "Do the techniques help?"  Cheerfully, she answered, "Yes!  I find them very helpful when I apply them to my life."  She paused for a second.  Then she said, "Well, what I learn from the workshop is not something new.  In fact, you and others had talked about it years ago.  But, at that time, I was not ready to change even though I was not happy with my life."

We moved onto other things that happened in our lives.  It was always good to catch up with my friends.

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When my friend said "At that time, I was not ready to change", I knew very well how she felt.  Many times in my own life, I was not ready to change, let go, or move on just liked she did.  For example, when my spirit guide suggested for me to learn a healing art, I did not follow the advice.  It took a year and a half for me to say "okay, I am ready, and please bring me a teacher."  One night, my brothers and sisters at church shared with us the stories of how they answered to their hearts' calling.  I was fired up.  I wanted to follow their footsteps.  However, when I cooled down, I told myself I could not for I did not have the qualifications.  At that time, I was not ready too.

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When we find life unsatisfying or depressing, we know deep inside we need to make some changes.  When we are not happy with a situation or a relationship, we know it is a call for change.  However, we often let the condition linger because we are used to the familiarity of our life.  Sometimes we tell ourselves we are powerless towards a situation.  We pray for the outside world to change (i.e. a situation or relationship), and fail to realize that the change begins with us.

It takes me years to realize I am the one who is responsible for holding me back from being free or happy.  I find out when I change my view of what seems to be the problem, I change what is before me.  The outside world may seem to remain unchanged, but it has.  As I stop giving power to negative emotions such as fear, worries, hurt, pain, anger, and self-imposed limitations, I am open to the new and better.  When I am at peace, people around me are more peaceful too.  Gladly or sadly, I find out the cause of my suffering in life is often none other than my wrong view of looking at a situation or a relationship.  I learn that the first step of change is but a change / an adjustment of my view or attitude.  Furthermore, when I consciously choose love (incl. love of self) over all that is not, I no longer subject myself to the emotional turmoil of life.

"When love is present, everything flows with ease and dissolves with ease" - a quote from a channeled message from Master Djwhal Khul on YouTube.

Do you desire change in your life?  It may help to reflect on your views.  Set your intention, and let love guide you through.  This affrmation may help to set your desire in motion.

                                                  Change is easy.
                                                  Change is easy.
                                                  Change is easy.

                                                                                So it is.

Peace & blessings,
Q of D

She looked like a movie star

Greetings!

The other night, a black woman whom I met while I was living in another state suddenly came to my mind.   She was a cashier in a store that we visited regularly.   She was very friendly, and greeted all the customers with a bright smile.  She waved at us and said 'hi' even if we lined up at other lanes.  Of course, all of us, the customers and her coworkers, liked her in return.

She looked like a movie star.  If they stood together, people might think they were identical twins.  She even had a voice similar to the celebrity.   I was amazed at their likeness, but I did not say anything about it.

One day, a customer (a man) said to her that she looked very much like the movie star.  Immediately, I saw the light in her eyes dimmed because I was standing behind the man.  She lowered her head.  In a low voice, she said, "I heard that a lot, but she (the movie star) is rich and famous."  My heart was filled with compassion.   The male customer did not know what to say.  He paid and left.  When it was time for me to pay for the grocery, I told her truthfully how much we appreciated her friendliness and her wonderful smile.

It has been three years since we moved back here.  I wonder how she is doing.  I pray that she is doing well.  I pray that she has come to understand that she is not any less than the celebrity is; she is wonderful and beautiful in her own way.

Peace,
Q of D