It was his life, and it was up to him how to live his life - Part 2

Greetings!

In Part 1 I wrote 'that deep within I understood it was important to share my experience especially at this time on earth'.

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In Jan. 2003, my husband decided to follow the instructions on the Chinese newspaper to learn the practice.  Soon he was addicted to the practice just as those in China.  (Re Fall only into the divine emotion of Love, the Creative Force and In time of darkness, light always shines through )  

Before Christmas 2004, my younger son said it might be a good idea to order the official book for his dad as his Christmas gift.  He said there had been no report of problem of those that learned the practice in U.S.A.; his father simply followed the instructions in the Chinese newspaper, and that could be the cause of his problem.  I had my doubts.  Hope against hope, we hoped it might help.  My husband was overjoyed to receive the gift.   After a few days, he asked me to read it too.  After reading some pages here and there, I stopped reading the book.  It was a mistake to give him that book.  The book aimed at propagandizing the master's godlike status.  The claims were misleading and false.  I talked to my husband, but it was of no use.  

My husband spent his day practicing, sleeping, and reading the book.  He looked frail and pale.  However, he believed he was healthier than before because of the practice.  On several occasions, his friends that we happened to come across in stores asked him if he was sick.  He laughed saying he was healthy and well.

  

In late May 2005, I joined a spiritual circle that met every Thursday morning.  One day in July / August, my worries about my husband prompted me to stay behind after the meeting was over.  I approached a psychically gifted friend, and asked if my husband would be alright.  I had not said anything about my husband.  She related what she saw in a few sentences.  She said, "Your husband does not have the peace that you have; therefore, he grabs onto something in order to feel a little bit of peace."  I thanked my friend and left.  I had not said much about my husband's problem.

That day I walked out of the center with a better understanding of why my husband just would not let go of his blind belief.  Before taking up the practice, he was bitter about life.  In his negative state, he dwelt in his old pain and suffering.  It was true he had no peace.  It was said 'we create our own heaven and hell'; meanwhile, could we not look at those that suffered (including ourselves) with compassion? 

Other than the Thurs. morning circle, I had not joined other circles or attend classes in the center.  I did not know the friend held channeling sessions, gave readings, and most of all, was an empath.  I asked if my husband would be alright, and it affected her greatly because she was highly empathetic.  There was much more that happened afterward.  I must skip that part of the story, otherwise, I would not be able to finish the post.  To my loving friends at the center, thank you!  

In August 2007, we moved to another state because our older son found a job there.  (Re The Amazing Prophetic Dream of Moving - Story 1 )  For a while, my husband seemed to be doing well.  His focus was on getting to know the new city we lived in.  He looked healthier than before.  However, he soon returned to his old way, spending his day practicing the moves and reading the book.    

While he was in the hospital in 2008, he asked us to throw away the book, but insisted for us not to do that right afterward.  He said the book was powerful, and asked for our assurance that we would not throw it away.   At home, I flipped through the book.  I was shocked that he had written down twice on different pages that he would die because of taking up this practice.  There were also some terrible words / prediction of the family.  From the handwriting, it was obvious that he wrote those words in a state of automatic writing.  We put salt all over the book to cleanse and purify it.  The next day we confronted him with the book in the hospital.  From the expression on his face, he was obviously shocked to see what he had written down too.  The medical team determined that he was not a danger to the society.  He came home with us that afternoon. (Re It was his life, and it was up to him how to live his life - Part 1)  At home, he secretly torn off those pages, and insisted to keep the book.

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From the beginning, whatever force that possessed my husband had used the tactic of inflating his ego.  In 2003, not long after he began to practice as instructed in the newspaper, the force told him that he had been taught the advanced moves and was chosen to teach others.  He said he felt honored to be chosen to teach others.  He had been depressed that the business did not prosper as he had hoped.  He looked back at his life, and felt bitter about life.  The notion that he was the chosen one not only made him feel good, but also a new sense of self.  He asked me to learn from him, and I refused to.  

The force used the same tactic again in 2008.  Days before his hospitalization, he seemed to be very excited about something.  

He asked, "Will you believe me if I tell you something?"  

I said, "I cannot say I will or will not believe you until I hear what you have to say. I myself have gone through some mystical experiences.  I'll listen, and try not to judge."  

He said the master told him that he had been a big buddha.  

I said "Okay". 

He was surprised at my non-reactive response.  He said, "Master said I had been a big buddha, and you were only a bodhisattva; therefore, you should obey me and learn the practice from me."  

I said, "It is not too far off to say that one is a buddha.  As Sakyamuni Buddha said, 'everyone is of the buddha nature'.  Or, one can say he is the son of god because we all come from a source, the Source of All That Is; therefore, we can call ourselves sons and daughters of god."  

From the look on his face, it was obvious that he had never heard of what I said.  

I continued to say, "If you think I should obey you because you are a buddha, you are wrong.  Sakyamunu Buddha had said we should not simply believe what he said or others said.  You are on your journey, and I am on my own journey.  No.  I don't have to obey you."  (*** Please see note at the end of the post)

He looked lost.  His right hand started to move, i.e. into automatic writing.  He said my (maternal) grandfather was there, and, my grandfather asked me to learn the practice from him.  

I handed him a pen and a notepad.  I did not believe my grandfather was there.  However, words on the notepad would be the hard proof that he could not dispute afterward.  

He never looked down on the notepad while he was writing.  Afterward, he handed me the notepad saying that I should notice it was my grandfather's handwriting and not his.  

I took a quick look and gave it back to him.  My grandfather was a learned man who had been an educator.  The letter addressed me as his grandniece, there were many mistakes / words written wrongly, and the handwriting was terrible.  

My husband questioned the grandfather about the discrepancies.  Then he said my mother was there, and she asked me to learn the practice from him too.  I told him I did not believe in what he said.  He began to write.  The letter was definitely not from my mother.  My mother always addressed me as "Dear daughter XXX" while the message was "Dear XXX XXX".  Not knowing how to explain the discrepancies, he insisted that my grandfather and my mother really asked me to learn the practice from him.

After some thought, I said, "You believe whatever that controls you is  powerful and godlike.  I hold three questions in my mind.  If you can tell me what my questions are, I'll learn from you."  

My husband seemed to be mentally asking for help.  He said, "Your grandfather says he is not powerful enough to know that.  They suggest for me to invite the master in."  

I said, "Yes!  Ask your master."  

He began automatic writing again.  In the writing, the so-called master gave my husband lots of praise using words such as 'brilliant' and 'very powerful', and asked me to learn from him. 

I said, "What about the three questions that I hold in my mind?"  

After a long pause, this came out of my husband's mouth, "My master said he could not get what you held in your mind.  It is because you are more powerful than he is."  

I looked at my husband and said, "Did you hear what you just said?  If that is the case, why do I have to learn from you?  Why do you learn from him or blindly believe in him?  You know, I never think that I am more powerful than anyone."  

My husband's mouth opened wide.  He had not expected to hear what came out of his own mouth.  

What happened did not sway his blind faith in what he had surrendered to.  Hours later, he practiced again.

                                         

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I fully understood many would consider these as symptoms of mental sickness.  Yes, it many ways they were.  However, in his negative state, he had allowed something else in to affect or control him.  His energy was depleted after he practiced, and his body was icy cold.       

One day, he stayed in the bathroom for a long time.  I wondered if he was alright.  I knocked at the door, but there was no answer.  I opened the door.  I saw him sitting on the toilet.  He raised his head.  I was shocked to see his blood shed eyes.  He yelled in a low monstrous voice, "Get out!"  I quickly closed the door and went back to the family room.  Soon he came out of the bathroom.  His eyes were all clear.  He went on to read his book as if nothing had happened.  On a few occasions after he used the bathroom, the light bulbs were in an eerie, eerie dim color that was hard to describe.  The light bulbs returned to normal brightness after a while.  (Since he moved on, the light bulb incident did not occur again.)  

On the night he was in an extreme state, he sensed the presence of great evil, and was overwhelmed with fear.  He asked me and our son to stay in Son's bedroom.  He said he would protect us and fight with the evil force.  He was frantic, and there was no way to calm him down or reason with him.   

Like most of us, my husband had his shortcomings, but he was not a bad / an evil person.  Therefore, he still thought of protecting us even in that state.  

For quite a long time, we heard him rushed in and out of the bedroom.  He went to the bathroom a lot of times as if he wanted to spit something out of his body.  Later, we quietly left the apartment while he was in the bedroom with the door closed.  We went to our car that was parked a distance away from the apartment.  We discussed what to do.  I called a pastor of the small church and our younger son in another state.  I made calls to two prayer hotlines.  One of the hotlines was found by a known psychic that I read about in books.  It was off office hours, and I could only leave a message on the answering machine.  Of course, all the while, I spoke in English inside the car.  Later, in a police car on our way to the hospital, we were surprised to hear him said in an 'animated' voice, "I know you have called XXXXXX XXXXXX, the psychic.  She is here in front of me.  I am not afraid of her!!!  She puts a bishop above my head.  She asks me to go to church regularly . . . . ."  My husband knew very little English.  It was beyond me how he knew I had called her prayer hotline and his use of the word 'bishop'.  He walked into the hospital as if he was a big shot, a big contrast to the everyday him.  Understandably, he was very scared when he woke up finding himself in a hospital because he had no recollection of what happened the night before.    

As mentioned in Part 1 , the bottle of holy water had no effect on him.  It might be certain chants must go with the using of the holy water.  Unlike what we saw in horror movies, he showed no fear seeing a cross.

There were other incidents, but relating all the incidents was not the purpose of this post.

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What is the purpose of writing the post?  

Why sharing my experience is important especially at this time on earth?

This post is a bit too long.  I'll continue in my next post.

Love and Blessings,

Q of D                                            

*** Since I stepped outside of my family to socialize with other people in May 2005, many people automatically assumed I was a Buddhist because I was a Chinese woman.  Growing up, my family was not into any religion.  It was by divine plan / divine grace that I got to read many Buddhist books after we moved to another state in 2007.  During the 2006 March reading, the psychic seemed to be surprised of what she saw.  She said, "Oh, Q of D, on the other side / dimension, you go to the universal church / gatherings.  You are not fixated on any religion."  

Be a Spark of PEACE

Greetings!

Spring is here!  

I was fully aware that I had not published any post for almost 3 months.  I had been working on two posts ** simultaneously on and off since my last post It was his life, and it was up to him how to live his life - Part 1 .  (** i.e. It was his life - Part 2 and Honoring Lord Buddha and Earth Treasure Bodhisattva)  I had hoped to finish these posts, and moved on to the ''now'.  The human I found it challenging to share some of the personal dramas of that time, and wanted to skip writing about them.  I soon realized I could not simply write how grateful I was after everything came to pass, without relating what happened before (i.e. some of the personal dramas).  Due to this conflict within, I let weeks and months went by.  

From my experience, I knew I could not finish a post even if I forced myself to sit in front of the computer.  I decided to take it easy.  Some days I did not sign in to my blog.  I loved to watch The Cat's Diary on YouTube.  The cats, Kikig and Hairball, had helped raising many ducklings and chicks.  When these ducklings and chicks grew up, they still came to sleep with the cats from time to time.  When Kikig and Hairball became parents, the chickens and ducks sometimes came to babysit the kittens.  It warmed my heart to see the cats, ducks, and chickens living in such peace, harmony and love.  I also enjoyed watching The Masaka Kids Africana singing and dancing.  The smiles on their faces and their expressions of joy were beautiful to behold.  Of course, I watched spiritual videos too. 

As much as I enjoyed the videos, I really hoped to finish the posts.  One night I had a hard time falling asleep.  I was disappointed at myself for being so undisciplined that I did not finish the post as I had intended.  In the morning, I heard music in the air.  As always, I only heard a few or some musical notes (two lines?) over and over in the air.  I hummed into my phone.  It was a nursery rhyme - The Tortoise and The Hare.  My guide had obviously felt my emotion during the night.  Yes, my progress of writing the posts was as slow as a tortoise.  I 'got' it that my guide was telling me that I would eventually make it.  I appreciated my guides and angels' humor and encouragement.  Indeed, our guides and angels don't judge us; they are here to love and support us.  (Re We don't judge you. You judge yourself. Don't be too hard on yourself. )

Some of my friends at the small church had been into meditation for over 30 to 40 years.  A sister once told me she had been meditating for over 40 years.  Every night she went to bed around 8 to 8:30 p.m., and woke up at 4 a.m. to meditate.  Like others at church, she seldom talked about herself.  I only learned she was clairvoyant after an incident at church.  I eventually learned there were others that had accessed their innate abilities due to their dedication to meditation.  My friends were surprised to hear that I followed a few TV drama series as well as watched basketball and football games from time to time.  I wished I was as disciplined in spiritual practices as my friends.  However, I also felt there was nothing wrong that I spent some time watching sports, news or TV on the whole.  

   

In May 2005, I stepped outside of my family to join the Thursday Circle.  Of all the readings I had, the 2006 reading gave me comfort or made me feel 'I am alright'.  (Re The Grand Prize and the Second Reading )  Near the end of the reading, the psychic looked at me with lots of love and compassion.  She said, "You come to live an ordinary life, to collect data living as an ordinary person.  Indeed, you want to live like an ordinary person in every way, and do not want others to see you otherwise . . . . . But, Q of D, you also have to accept who you are; you are not just an ordinary person, you are . . . . and this has been a challenge for you . . . ."  I liked to observe, and did not want to draw attention.  It was true that I found it challenging when someone said things about me out of nowhere in front of other people.  He or she often walked away while I stood there not knowing how to respond.  With time, we all improved on our way of handling life's situations.  I did too, and was more at peace with myself.  We are not just the human garments we put on for A Play on the Stage of Life.  We are all much more than who we appear to be .

Other than my progress in writing the posts was slow, I was (am) doing fine.  Occasionally, my son said, "Life is hard."  I usually smiled and countered with "Life is supposed to be fun."  It was in our difference of opinions that we learned from one another.  Our realities often reflected our attitude.  I had interesting encounters in stores and parking lots every now and then.  My son found my experiences weird and unthinkable.  I loved my strange experiences.    

What prompted me to write this post?  

Originally, I had planned to publish Honoring Lord Buddha and Earth Treasure Bodhisattva as my first post for 2024.  Recently, I had a dream that I considered as worth sharing.  I thought I would wait until I finished the two posts that I had been working on.  Yesterday a friend forwarded to me some information about the possible changes that were coming in 2024 by email.  On the Internet, there were lots of talks / predictions about 2024 and beyond.  Many people were deeply concerned as what would happened in 2024.  Therefore, I decided to share the dream as my first post of 2024.

In the dream, I was observing what went on in the other dimension*.  *There was no sense of ground 

A powerful couple had taken over an organization / operation / mission.  They were giving talks to a huge gathering.

Next scene, in a different location or where the organization was, the female told those that gathering around that their son and daughter would be in charge of the operation.  (The observing me was somewhat surprised.  The couple took over the operation, and I thought they would be in charge.)  The mother said, "They (i.e. the son and daughter) have to learn how to answer calls."  ("They have to learn how to answer calls" were the words I got in the dream.  I thought "Ah, it make sense to let the new generation take charge.")

Back to the scene where the huge gathering was - the man continued with his long talk.  (I could be watching both scenes / happenings at the same time, but it was easier to relate in sequence.)  At the end of his talk, he said, ". . . . . much more that needed to be done.  Be a Spark of PEACE.  Just BE."

Then I woke up.  It was a feel dream.  (See More on Dreams )  The only image was the man.  (I am not good in remembering details of one's appearance as well as names.)  I did not get any name in the dream.  He was of average built and was not tall.  A layer of golden light surrounded him.  The layer was neither explosive nor expansive / thick.  It was probably around 8 inches wide.  It was more like how we used gold color to outline an image.  The golden outline was very bright that made his image stood out in a feel dream.  As I came out of the dream, the words "Be a Spark of PEACE.  Just BE." stayed with me.

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The message my friend forwarded to me was similar to those on the Internet.  According to the channeled messages, these changes were necessary so as to bring in a new world.  Listening to those talks / predictions, some people thought of moving to somewhere that would not be much affected by the earth changes.  Others worried as what to do if the old banking system collapsed.  My son who did not like to hear anything spiritual did not watch those 'spiritual' videos online.  In fact, there were many people liked him.  They went about life the way they normally did.  They might have heard someone talked about the possible changes, but it was of no significance to them.  As I had mentioned, I watched news regularly.  I had heard many stories that in time of sudden happenings such as tornado and flood, it was the every day people that rose to the occasion.  They helped their neighbors, and quietly rebuilt the place.   

Some people feel dismay that their loved ones are not into spirituality as they do.  To me, ALL IS WELL.  We are all spirits / souls / spiritual beings express in forms having a physical life on earth.  I am interested in spiritual matters, but it does not mean I am more 'spiritual' than my loved ones.  For those that want to move, pray and follow your inner guidance; don't make a decision because of fear.  It is the same with the banking system.  In my experience, I agree with my guides and angels that The real beauty of life is what you do not know .  Have faith in the Loving Divine.  Trust that what we need to know will be revealed to us at the right time.  (For instance, I did not know I was going to hold a healing workshop until I was prompted to go to the holistic store.  Re  A beautiful pink fish on the back of a white dove )

Everything is energy.  Our thought, anxiety, worries, joy, peace and other emotions are energy.  A person that was overcome by sadness could not comfort those that were sad; a firefighter must stay calm to rescue the ones that needed help.  Bless are the Red Cross and Peace workers in the war zones helping those in need.  They are anchors of peace and love that the world needs the most in time of chaos or turmoil. 

Dear Friends, we may not be the brave souls who selflessly serve in the war zones; but, we can pray and send love.  What the world needs now is peace, the unshakable peace that is within all of us.  Do not be disturbed by what is going on around us.  Have faith that only good comes out of all situations.   Let us center in peace.  Let our inner peace expand, connect and unite as One Peace around the world.

                                    Be a Spark of PEACE.  Just BE. 

       

Love and Peace,

Q of D

It was his life, and it was up to him how to live his life - Part 1

Greetings!

Christmas was over, and 2023 would soon come to an end.  I thought of my promise long ago.

In The Power Outage and the Refrigerator (published in Sept., 2022). I wrote that 'It was his life, and it was up to him how to live his life' would be the title of my next post.  In Have a Great 2023 , I  promised to write that post as well as a post to honor the grace of Lord Buddha and Earth Treasure Bodhisattva (Ksitigarbha) because of what had happened.  I had sat in front of the computer numerous times.  Months went by, I could not finish the post.  I decided to let it go, and wrote about other things that happened in my life.  

If my husband's death was mainly due to a physical illness, I would not have found it challenging to share.  Part of me wanted to let it go - he had moved on; let bygones be bygones.  However, deep within me, I understood the importance of sharing what had happened as well as what I had learned from it especially at this time on earth.

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In one online meeting, someone asked the facilitator who was a medium if attachment or possession was real.  The medium said she had done hundreds of readings, and had not come across a real case of such manner.  She said those so-called phenomena were merely people's exaggerations.  She concluded by saying, "Even if there is, we live in a world of free will, and evil spirit can do nothing if we say 'No'."  "Oh, if only life is really that simple," I said in my heart.   

The above was one of many questions that people asked the medium.   Most professional lightworkers held zoom meetings wanting to share / teach what they knew as well as to get more business.  Life is not about who is right or wrong.  It was the medium's conclusion at the time.  As life continued to unfold, sometimes we did change some of our views because of our new experiences.  For instance, when my husband came to me in 2003 with his automatic writing message that he said was from his master, I also told him that 'no matter what force, we can always say 'No' because we have the power to do so'.  I eventually learned it was far more complicated than what I said.  (Re In time of darkness, light always shines through ) 

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Was there really such thing as possession or evil spirit attached to humans?

In one of her books, Rosemary Altea, a world known medium, wrote about seeing ghosts / the discarnate that died of their alcohol addiction attached themselves to people (alcoholics) at a bar.  Other authors also wrote about possessions and evil spirits too.    

In some of the channeled readings by Edgar Cayce, the Sleeping Prophet, possession was mentioned as the cause of disease.  Furthermore, it was said sometimes automatic writing might be a form of discarnate possession / influence, and might not necessary be inspirational writing from ascended beings.  

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Near the end of 2002, my husband asked me to read the stories in a Chinese newspaper about the communist government in China torturing lots of men and women that took up a practice.  He was already bitter and negative about life.  The stories fueled his anger and hatred toward the government that had wrongly killed his brother during the Cultural Revolution.  (FYI - In where we lived, two different Chinese newspapers were available for free in most Asian stores.  I read the one that focused on local news / events and not too much on politics.  I did not like the newspaper that my husband deemed as a must-read.  I found it to be too political and its stand was extreme.)

After reading the stories, I had lots of questions about the practice.  I wondered why so many men and women risked being arrested again and again after they took up the practice?  Why didn't the fathers / mothers stop doing those moves after being released from jail for the sake / love of their children?  As a mother, it was beyond me that a parent could choose to practice the moves and be imprisoned again than to be there for her / his children.  The newspaper had portrayed the master as godlike, and my husband believed in what he read.  His mind was set.  At the time, the word 'possession' did not cross my mind.  We lived in U.S.A., and I never thought my husband would soon addicted to the practice as those that living in China.  (Re Fall only into the divine emotion of love , In time of darkness, light always shines through and The Broken Alarm Clock and Past / Present / Future )  

My husband was hospitalized for the first time in 2008.  He only realized he was in a hospital after he came out of his frenzy state.  When we were allowed to see him, he looked very weak and scared.  I put my hand on his heart.  Waves and waves of chilling energy came through my hand to my heart.  It took a while to see the color back on his face.  Then my guide told me 'enough', and I withdrew my hand.  Later, we learned he was transferred to another hospital for observation and evaluation.  Though it was late, we drove to see him.  We continued to visit him every day.  After a few days, a team from the hospital and us sat down for a conference.  (There was much more to what had happened. I chose to focus on the title of this post, and skipped other details.)  The hospital had run all the tests.  They concluded his frenzy state days earlier as a 'sudden happening', and the cause was 'unknown'.  The word 'possession' did slip out of a young medical personnel's mouth briefly once.  They observed my husband was alert and friendly during his stay, and concluded he was of no danger to the society.  My husband was released from the hospital after the conference with no prescription of drug.  My son and I were relieved that the ordeal was over.  (We hoped it was over, but it was not.)     

A few days later, my husband and I went to a medical center for a post-release appointment.  (That was a term I used because it took too much time to look up every correct term / word.)  A medical personnel interviewed us.  I did not know if she was a doctor or a case manager.

I found this interview to be quite strange.  All the while, she did not really look at me.  She asked questions.  After listening to what I said, she tilted her head as if she was listening to something; meanwhile, she looked at the space above her or above me since we sat across from each other.  Then she spoke again.  This went on during the interview.  Before she ended the session, she said something I had not expected to hear.  She said, "Your husband will probably be admitted to hospitals 2 or 3 more times, but it is alright.  He will be in and out of hospitals, and you should just go about doing your thing such as go to church, attend spiritual fair or events.  It is of no use for you to stay and watch over him.  You have loved him compassionately . . . . . ."   

I was in shock!  My husband would go in and out of hospital 2 or 3 more times!!  How did she know things about me?  I could not help but wondered if the woman that worked in the medical field was seeing images or getting information as psychics did.  Of course, I did not tell (translate) my husband what she said. 

I had sought help from the small church when the ordeal started.  Some at church were Reiki Masters and experienced healers of other modalities.  Days later, a pastor sat down with me.  He said my husband was well for now, but hinted it might happen again.  He gave me a bottle of holy water.  (FYI In my experience in later year, holy water had no effect when we needed to use it.)

 

During that few days, the human I was physically and mentally exhausted; meanwhile, I found myself enveloped in a powerful field of energy, and there was this calmness / peace within that was hard to describe.  AND, it was this calmness within that carried me through that traumatic life experience.

As I was writing, I suddenly recalled two incredible incidents that showed the ever presence of God / the Loving Divine.  I looked through my notebooks and found the entries.  I would write a post to honor the grace of God.

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In the beginning of 2012, I felt joyful and hopeful even though my husband's way of being continued.  Over a month ago, I had held the 4th healing workshop.  We chose to conclude the workshop in the afternoon after Sunday service.  Quite a few people in the congregation commented we* looked radiant.  (* i.e. those that were in the workshop the day before)  On Jan. 14, 2012, I became an ordained minister of a particular non-denominational spiritual order.  I was very grateful for how things had unfolded that I did not have to go to another state for this initiation.  (Re The Grace of Good Intention )

Near the end of 2011, my son told me he would look for another job in the coming year.  I understood how he felt.  He really wanted to move back to the state we used to live, or at least to a state that was close to the home state.  I thought it might take months for my son to find the job he wanted, but he got a job offer soon after he posted his resume.  At the same time, my husband was hospitalized for the second time.   (Re Life is as God is - Turbulence is a life force )

The church had scheduled for me to speak on March 25, 2012.  It would have been my third time to speak during Sunday service.  Due to the situations, I informed the church that my family would be moving to another state in the second half of Feb.  The same pastor sat down with me.  He was a wonderful speaker and spiritual teacher.  He could see and talk to spirits.  At times, he also saw tree fairies and different kind of creatures.  When he spoke on Sundays, he shared his experiences from his heart, and there was not a bit of ego.  We loved his talks.  He told me that they had driven that force out of my husband again; however, he wanted me to know that my husband might open himself up to it again; he said it was his life, and it was up to him if he chose to invite it back.

On the last Sunday I was with the small church, the speaker was a known psychic.  She was the most if not one of the most popular Sunday speakers.  Her introspection about her own life was valuable.  Occasionally, she answered questions or gave short readings at the end of her talk.  We often found her no nonsense replies or advice right on the money.  However, at times the inquirer just could not get it or accept what she said because that was not what he wanted to hear.  The inquirer went on to ask many similar questions.  The psychic was patient, and sometimes her humor drew a lot of laughter from the congregation. (I laughed too, but also knew there must be times I was like the inquirer that just would not take in what I did not want to hear.)

 

When the Sunday service was over, my friend who was the chairwoman of the board approached her and asked when I would return (i.e. to the church).  The psychic said I would be in a roller coaster ride in the coming months, but the changes would be good for me. She said I would return home*** within six months.  As she was walking away, she said it was up to my husband if he would change the way he lived his life or his attitude, and if he wanted to stay on earth.  (*** My friend and I thought she meant the church that I called my spiritual home.  As life continued to unfold, I eventually realized she meant the home state that I used to live.  Her prediction turned out to be very accurate. Re Life is as God is - Turbulence is a life force )

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The pastor, the psychic, and the woman that worked in the medical center had given me the same advice.  I received similar guidance from my guides while journaling as well as in dreams. 

                             It was his life, and it was up to him how to live his life. 

As a human being in a family structure, it was natural for us / most of us to care about others in the family, wishing them happy and healthy.  It was hard to look past our human labels such as husband and wife, parent and children, in-laws, and siblings.  We held different expectations in different relationships.  We felt displease or pain when others 'failed' our expectation.  I was of no exception, and had gone through my share of disappointments and pain.  (Re  You feel pain because you let pain be )

  

One night long ago, I felt miserable thinking about what happened during the day and my husband's troubling way of living his life.  In the morning, my guide's advice came through - look at him as a friend.  I grabbed my notebook and wrote down the words that came to me.  (If I found what I wrote down, I might share it.)  My guide was right.  I probably would not be that troubled and might see more light in the relationship as a friend.  Gradually, I began to look beyond the label of husband and wife, and tried to let go of my expectations of him as a husband / a father.

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This post is too long.  I hope to finish Part 2 before the new year.

Relationship is indeed one of the most if not the most challenging lesson in life.  If you have time, please click to view the following posts on relationships. 

Feeling Okay in All Situations Is A Big Step in Life   

If he loves me enough, he would have . . .

A Talk among Girls about the Criteria of an Ideal Husband

Guide's Words of Wisdom on Relationship (from my guide in March 2003)

Good Night!

Love and Peace,

Q of D