Part 4 - Afterthought of the Whole Experience

Greetings!

When I wrote My journey as a channel of spiritual healing energy, I did not know I would write about The Unexpected Incident.

In order to finish the whole story, I realized I had to write about The Gathering during which I understood I was sent there to speak up.  However, I had problem with sharing about the gathering.

For over four years or while I lived in that state, the small church was my spiritual home (it still is) where I had met many wonderful, loving sisters and brothers.  I did not want to write about the gathering because I thought it might give a wrong image of the church.  Besides, I did not hold any personal ill feelings towards the sister who was obviously expressing her own fear in her so-called channeling.  For days, I signed into my blog and signed out.  I could not finish the post.

In the morning of July 16, 2013, I was in an auto shop.  Our old car needed a new battery and an oil change.  While waiting for the work to be done, suddenly, lots of things came to my mind.  The cloud in my mind was cleared.  I knew I would finish and publish "The Gathering" when I was home.  I understood it was alright to share the experience, and it was important to share the whole story 'as is' or how it had happened.

It was impossible for me to relate all that I understood in the aha moment.  However, I would try for I believed it was beneficial to share what we learned.

A church was like a small version of a society.  A society consisted of people from all walks of life as well as from different spiritual stages.  Most of us drew our views of life based on our experiences.  Sometimes people lived far beyond their means, and ended up with big debts on their credit card accounts.  As humans, we tended to blame others, and forgot we were responsible for our actions.  During the gathering, a brother related the channel's message thinking it was a godsend.  He encouraged others to withdraw cash with their credit cards or apply for loans at the banks.  He totally believed in the channel's words that people would not have to pay back the money.  He did not see it as wrong.  He saw it as an opportunity to  get even with banks and credit card corporations that had charged excessive interest rates.  He was not alone in his view.  He represented some of us that looked at life mainly from the materialistic point of view.

When I was moved to walk to people and channel healing energy during Sunday service, part of me (my higher self) was very peaceful.  Meanwhile, the human I found it unsettling because I knew very well what was considered as normal or acceptable behavior in public.  In the aha moment in the auto shop, I understood the incident was not just my experience, but an experience (or a lesson) for many people.  For examples, the speaker who saw what happened while delivering his sermon, the sister who prayed for healing and received healing, those who formed a judgment, and those who reacted to what they witnessed. 

When we had a strong reaction to something that we witnessed (though we might not be directly involved), there underlay a cause we needed to deal with.  Did we eventually come to terms (or at peace) with what happened?  Or, did we tell ourselves to forget about it since it was over?  However, it still bothered us at times. These were the indicators if a lesson was learned or not yet learned.

After I attended the gathering on Tuesday night, I realized everything was very much in the divine plan.  If I was not moved to work on five people during service, I would not go to the pastor's house.  It was in his house I learned what the channel had said. I understood then I was sent there to speak up.  I knew my purpose was served when the pastor nodded at me with a smile after he heard what I said.  

One might wonder why didn't the church know sooner that the woman was not channeling messages from the angels.  

First of all, Sunday service often ended around 12:30 PM.  People stayed and chatted for a while.  Most of the people including the pastors went home or went out for lunch before l:00 PM.  People were hungry, and not many people wanted to stay behind.  

It should be noted that there were some who decided not to attend anymore of her talks after the first meeting.  When I returned to church, a few people told me they had trouble with her messages in her earlier talks.  However, they did not want to speak up.  

The truth was what happened during that period of time was also very much in the divine plan.  Many went through an experience that was relevant in their spiritual journey. (These were some of the main points from my aha moment.)  

The church had invited many wonderful spiritual teachers to talk to us about 2012.  All of them said 2012 was not the end of time, but an exciting new beginning.  Still, some had fear and were anxious about ascension or the adaptation of the new energy. When the angel channel said angels worked with her to help people in the ascension process, many went to her for healing sessions.  

In my post The Unexpected Incident, I wrote that the last person I was guided to work on seemed to be healthy.  I did not know him.  I did not understand why powerful healing energy poured through me to him.  I knew the healing was not finished when the pastor led me out of the chapel.  

One Sunday, he was by the door waiting to talk to me.  He told me he found himself in a wreck (his words) or in a terrible state after going to the angel channel for healing sessions.  Though he had since gone to see his friend, a known healer, but he felt he was still not back to his old healthy self.  He also told me about the healing sessions with the angel channel.  I did not want to get into the details.  All I would say was we should always keep our ego at check.  Words that made our ego feel good were not necessary the truth.  Some people took great pride or overjoyed when they were told they were advanced spiritual beings, or they were famous historical / biblical figures in their past lives.  We should bear in mind that we were all equal by nature, and what was important was how we conducted our life right now.  

In life, we went through many events or ups and downs.  A society with a solid foundation dealt with whatever came our way and moved on.  We learned from the past, and moved forward with hope, faith, and dedication.  When I wrote to here, I thought of New York and New Jersey.  What a great job they had done after Hurricane Sandy!

When I returned to church, my friends told me the church had taken the necessary steps.  It seemed the channel still came to the Sunday service, but stopped giving talks after that Sunday.

We all made mistakes sometimes.  I liked the fact that the church was positive, loving, and forgiving.  Years ago, a friend told me her mother used to bring them (the children) to a Catholic church every Sunday.  Later her mother and father got a divorce.  One Sunday, the church told her mother that they were no longer welcomed because of the divorce.  My friend still choked up recalling the hurtful incident that happened long ago.

What did we learn from the whole experience?

There were many people who claimed to be prophets and channels.  True prophets were rare.  As for channels, more and more people were into channeling because people were more open and receptive these days.  We should not think that others were superior than us because of their abilities or gifts, nor should we blindly believe in everything that others said.  We loved and respected others as how we wanted to be loved and respected, however, we should worship / listen to God and God only***. (***I use the word God as a matter of speech.  A few of my friends call the inner self 'Living Love'.  Others use Inner Being, Higher Self, the Source of our being, or whatever they are comfortable with.) 

God or the guiding Source was (is) in you and in me.  Each one of us had a unique, personal, beautiful relationship with the Source of our being.  We might read about spiritual laws and knowledge from books, but our relationship with God needed to be experienced personally.

Today is the last day of July, 2013.  It is a new blogging experience for me.  I have never expected to write from June to July with one post connecting to another.  This morning I pray for help and inspiration so that I can finish the whole story.  I am grateful and relieved that it is done.

Blessings and love to all of you.

Sincerely,
Q of D

Part 3 - The Dream of 99 on 4 Corners of Big Dollar Bills

Greetings!

In the morning of Sat., Dec. 27, 2008, I had an interesting dream.  However, the ending was so unthinkable that I woke up remembering only the last part of the dream!  Below was the last part of the dream.

                                            ~       ~       ~       ~       ~       ~

There was a big cat with a little kitten.  They were startled when I walked past them.  The big cat went after me.

A little distance away, there was a medium size cat with a kitten.  Seeing what happened, the medium cat defended me by yelling at the big cat, "It is unintentional!"  (In other words, the medium size cat was telling the big cat that I never meant to startle them.)

The big cat was mad, and went after the medium cat.

The medium size cat was not afraid.  She ran to face the big cat.  She stood there firm and unafraid.  She said loudly and deliberately, "IT  IS  UNINTENTIONAL ! ! !"  (I used 'she' for convenience sake.)

That was when I woke up.  I was amazed that a cat had defended me!  I wondered if 'unintentional' was relevant to any of my experiences.  The Unexpected Incident that happened on Nov. 30, 2008 came to my mind.  Indeed, I had never intended to stand up and work on five people during service that Sunday.  The dream seemed to show me that someone had defended me or appealed on my behalf.   My heart was filled with gratitude.  I sent love to whosoever he or she was for standing up for me.

                                            ~       ~       ~       ~      ~       ~

The following morning (Sunday, Dec. 28, 2008), I had a powerful dream with vivid images.  (In my experience, dreams with vivid images are important.  Please view More On Dreams )

In the dream, I received an envelope made of newspaper with my name and address.  When I opened it, I found four big size pink one dollar bills and one big size green one dollar bill.  All of them were much larger than the regular size one dollar bill.  Upon close examination, they were ancient one dollar bills and were much more valuable than the face value of a $1.  Then something caught my attention.  On one side of the bills, big 99 were on the four corners whereas 1 appeared on the four corners of the other side.

I knew they were very valuable.  I wondered who sent them to me.  Immediately, in my mind eye I saw a pastor that I knew holding a few of those one dollar bills.  I wondered aloud in my heart, "What good have I done to deserve this goodness?"

The next scene - I was at church.  There was a man that had gone on the wrong path.  His status or how tall he used to be had diminished quite a bit.  He was distraught.  I asked if he was willing to change.  Tears ran down his face, and he repented.  The last image was I knelt down with him and prayed for him.

                                            ~       ~       ~       ~       ~       ~

After I woke up, I looked up 99 from the angel number book.

99 - Get to work, Lightworker!  Your Divine life mission is needed now more than ever, and any contribution you can make toward bringing more light and love to your world is imperative.  The preparation for your life's work is complete for now.

1 -  This is a binary number; every number is divisible by one.  We are all one, thereby we're all associated by thought.  Watch your thoughts, and focus on your desires rather than your fears.

I understood from my dream that it was time for me to go back to church.  I followed the guidance and went to church. 

There were not many people at church that Sunday.  It was a joy to see my sisters and brothers.  Many of them came to talk to me.  I sat next to the friend that had said I was wrong to let a 'force' control me.  Though she did not 'know' me, I loved her for who she 'is'.  When the service was over, she said she felt very hot as I sat next to her.  Since she did not have hot flashes, she understood it was the healing energy coming from me.  She said it was very powerful.  She asked me to have lunch with her.  Over lunch, we realized there were many similar coincidences between her experiences and mine at church.  After hours of conversation, we were glad we came to know each other much better.

During the following Sundays, a few of those that I was guided to work on came to tell me the condition they were in that Sunday.  Indeed, the Holy Spirit or the Divine knew who needed healing.

Today is the Feast Day of Mary the Magdalene.  I dedicate this post to Mary's love, courage, and strength.

Please click to view Part 4 - Afterthought of the Whole Experience

Many blessings,
Q of D

Part 2 - The Gathering

The posts in June and The Unexpected Incident published on July 5 are related.  If you haven't read them, please click to view them.  Now let me continue with the story.

In the afternoon (11/30/2008), a friend called.  She wanted to know how I was doing after the incident.  I sensed something was bothering her.  Suddenly, she asked, "Do you think it is bad to wear black color clothes?"  I said, "No.  I wear black trousers and sweaters sometimes.  To me, what matters the most is how we live our life.  Why do you say that?"  She said sometimes she wore black too, and agreed with what I said. She was troubled because the angel channel had talked quite a bit on colors, e.g. the colors of the clothes we wore and the colors of the cars we drove.  According to the channel, black was a bad color, and we should always choose the color white.  It explained why the woman (i.e. the channel) wore white clothes most of the time.

It was then I remembered the woman had announced during Sunday service that she had received some very urgent and important messages from the angels.  She urged everybody to stay behind so that she could share the messages.  I was the first one to leave the church because of The Unexpected Incident, but many people had probably stayed behind to listen to her talk.

My friend thought I might not go to church after what happened.  She called to pass on the messages so that I would be prepared for what was to come.  The angel channel said there would be the worst ever snowstorm around Christmas of 2008 in where we lived and many parts of the country.  The computer system would collapse because there would be no electricity for many days.  As a result, banks would be closed during that time, and people could not use their credit cards.  Stores would only accept cash.  The channel asked people to withdraw some money from the banks before it happened.

I thanked my friend for caring about me.  I said I really did not believe in what the channel said.  I said we should not bind into the mass consciousness of fear.  Still, my friend said for me to have some cash on hand just in case it happened.  After hanging up the phone, I had no intention of following the advice.  The church had invited many wonderful spiritual teachers to speak to the congregation.  All of them said 2012 was not the end of time, but an exciting new beginning.

At night, I could not sleep.  I wondered why I was moved to stand up and do the healing during service.  Why?  What should I do now?  In desperation, I picked up a pen and asked my guide for answers.  My hand moved and wrote (i.e. I mentally got the message and wrote it down)

                                           do go to Bob (*not the real name)

I asked again.  I got the same answer.  Bob was a wonderful spiritual teacher, Reiki master, scientist, performer (or actor), an international speaker and expert on UFO.  He was the office manager of our church.  It was a part time job, and he worked in the office every Tuesday.  Coincidentally, the healing prayer service which I had joined for almost a year was also on Tuesdays.  I decided to talk to Bob when the prayer service was over.

On Tuesday, Dec.2, 2008, I told Bob I was guided to come to him.  He said he was not surprised.  He listened patiently with a non-judging attitude.  He said a group of people who had near-death experiences met at a pastor's house every Tuesday night. They were gifted with abilities such as psychic and healing after their near-death experiences.  He said I might be able to get some answers from them.  I said I was not familiar with the roads especially at night.  Bob was very kind.  He offered to drive me there.

Before I left for the meeting, I prayed for answers and guidance.  I prayed for a confirmation that Source (or the Loving Divine) was working through me that Sunday during which I stood up to work on five people.

There were quite some people at the gathering.  I recognized a few faces, but most of them I met for the first time.  The friend who thought I was wrong to allow an external force to control me was also there.

People sat around and chatted casually.  There was no meditation or talk on spiritual matters.  Later, a brother from church walked in.  Before he sat down, he excitedly said, "Our church is so fortunate to have the angel channel!"  He related similar messages as my friend had told me over the phone -  there would be lots and lots of snow; there would be no electricity for a week or two;  as a result, people could not use their credit card or ATM cards, and stores would only accept cash.  Then the brother related the most disturbing message from the angel channel -

"If you can, it is good to get a loan from the bank now.  It is very possible you do not need to pay back the loan at all.  Due to the collapse of the electrical and computer system, there will be no record of your loan.  It would also be good to apply for credit cards and obtain cash for you do not have to pay back the money."

I was stunned!!!!

As much as I did not want to speak, I raised my hand and said, "Oh, my brothers and sisters, please don't do that.  Our integrity is very important.  We cannot go to the bank for a loan knowing that we may not have to pay back, or withdraw money with our credit card with the same intention.  There is nothing that we do is not known to the Divine.  We are spiritual seekers, we should know the importance of our integrity.  Honesty and integrity come hand in hand."

I talked and talked for quite a while.  I came right out to say that the church as a spiritual center should never feed fear to the people.  We should not bind into the mass consciousness of fear, but should focus on spreading love.  Yes, there would be changes.  However, what we focused was what we got.  We should focus on love for love modified all things.  

The brother said that the big corporations such as banks and credit card companies had made huge profits by charging us outrageous interest.  Therefore, there was nothing wrong for us to take advantage of the situation.

Someone also countered what I said.  He said the end of time was indeed near.  Soon there would be no need of a government and no need of money because what we needed could simply be manifested.  He said that I was wrong to say that the messages brought fear.  He had no fear of what was to come.  Instead, he was excited about the future.

I said he might not have fear, but we should be mindful of the possible fear that most people might have when we spread those words.  I said, "What if what she says do not happen this winter?  What about the integrity of our church?"

When I finished talking, I saw the pastor nodded at me with a smile.  For the rest of the night, I did not say anything.  I realized I was not there to get guidance or answers.  I was there to speak up.

People started to leave around 9 p.m.  My friend who knew me as quiet was obviously very surprised to see the other side of me.  She said, "I would never speak up as you do."   I understood what she hinted.  My words were not heard by some and had offended some.  But, for the love of God and my love for my brothers and sisters, I could not keep quiet when I knew there was no way those words came from the angels or the Source of Love.

Bob lay down on the couch, and put himself into a trance.  I knew he really wanted to get some answers for me.  He seemed to be mentally talking and listening to a source.  He nodded his head from time to time.  After a few minutes, he stood up, and we left the pastor's house.

Bob did not talk much.  On our way there, he only said a few words whenever I raised a question.  As he drove off, out of nowhere, he suddenly said, "It is definitely the Holy Spirit and or the Divine One is working through you."  For the rest of the way, he did not seem to want to talk.  I respected his right.  It was a peaceful night.  Before I got off, I sincerely thanked him for driving me.

After I spoke up at the gathering, I thought I would not get any answer that night.  Bob did not know I had prayed for a confirmation from the Divine.  For the quiet him to say that the Holy Spirit or the Divine One was working through me was an answer to my prayer.

When I looked back at what happened, I realized the divine plan was at work.  

The woman came from another state.  She said she was a healer and a channel for the angels.  For over two months, she had shared her angel messages at church after Sunday service.  I attended her first talk during which I spoke up because I sensed the fear of some in attendance.  I maintained we should not live in fear but love.  I held a neutral attitude towards her talk.

On the second Sunday, I wanted to stay behind to show my support as a fellow spiritual sister.  However, a new friend wanted to know more about me.  She did not care to hear her talk after the first meeting.  She asked me to go out for lunch.

On the third Sunday, a friend who had been away from church for a while wanted to catch up with me.  I asked her to stay for the talk, and then we would catch up.  She said if I wanted to attend the talk, she would catch up with me the following Sunday.  I chose friendship over the talk.  With these coincidences, I decided I would not stay for the talk again.

By Nov. 30, 2008, the angel channel had been giving talks after Sunday service for many weeks.  She had acquired a following.  Many went to her for healing sessions because of their concern for ascension or the adaptation of the new energy.  Twice she had run after me outside of the church to tell me I must have healing sessions with her.  On two other occasions at church, she came to me and urged me to book healing sessions.  I never did because the response I got from my spirit guide was a firm 'No'.  During those weeks, I never asked or nobody ever told me what she said in her talks.

If I wasn't moved to stand up and work on five people that Sunday, I would not have gone to Bob.  With Bob's suggestion, I went to the gathering.  It was in the gathering I learned of the disturbing messages by the angel channel.  Obviously, some people received the messages as a godsend.  My speaking up at the gathering was very much in the divine order.

As Bob was driving me home that night, my heart was peaceful.  I wasn't trembling as I did six years ago when I was prompted to go to a lecture and speak the truth.  (Click to view The Unfolding of A Test)

I continued to stay home on Sundays.  One day, a pastor called and asked me why I did not go to church.  I told him about the unexpected incident.  He paused for a long while.  He said most churches would not allow that to happen during service.  I said I understood, and that was why I did not go to Sunday service.

It was a warm Christmas (2008).  There was no snow in where we lived.  I took a walk on Christmas Day.  I had not gone to church on Sunday for weeks.  Strangely, I did not miss church for in some ways I knew I was never away.

When did I go back to church on Sunday?  What made me go back?  It was because of a powerful dream which I would share with you in my next post.


                                        ~     ~    ~  to be continued  ~    ~     ~ 

Click to view Part 3 - The Dream of 99 on four corners of big dollar bills and
                     Part 4 - Afterthought of the whole experience

Part 1 - The Unexpected Incident

Greetings!

In my post Not my will, I wrote that some of us might have asked to be an instrument, but sometimes it was not easy to follow through on our commitment to the Will of God.  Here is the unexpected incident that I had promised to share.

It happened on Sunday, Nov.30, 2008.  I was at church.  I had been coming to this church for over a year.  I had made some friends.  On this day, I sat somewhere in the middle of the chapel near two of my friends.  Everything went on normally.  About an hour later, the speaker, a senior pastor, walked to the podium.  He was very loved and highly respected by the congregation.  We welcomed him with enthusiastic applause.

As I was listening to his talk, powerful healing energy suddenly lifted me up from my chair and moved me to work on a woman that sat a seat or two away from me (i.e. one or two seats were not occupied between her and me).  Next, I walked to a pew near the back of the chapel and worked on another woman.  The human I knew I should not do that during service especially while the pastor was delivering the sermon.  However, my whole being was filled with Energy and my hands were like energy rods.  My body moved to work on the third and the fourth persons.
   
The usher came.  He asked me to stop in a quiet voice.

The shape of the chapel was like a big rectangle with a small square to the left hand side of the podium.  (From the view of the speaker standing on the podium, the big rectangle was where most of the congregation sat.  The square of seats was to the left hand side of speaker.)  The people I was guided to work on sat in the big rectangular area near the back of the chapel.  Therefore, people sitting in the front section and most of the people sitting in the square area did not see what was going on.  The senior pastor saw everything from the podium.  He was obviously disturbed by what happened, and paused occasionally during his speech.

The human I understood how disruptive my actions were.  I knew the probable consequence that I would be kicked out of the chapel.  Strangely, other than the normal anxiety because of the situation, part of me was very peaceful.

A pastor came.  He asked me to stop.

My whole body was in a powerful magnetic field of energy.  I knew the healing on the fifth person was not finished for energy continued to flow through me to him.  I could not explain to the pastor because my breathing must keep up with the flow of the high frequency healing energy.  Meanwhile, the human I was somewhat surprised because the fifth person I worked on looked very healthy.

The pastor came again.  This time he made sure I left the chapel.

Sitting on the chair outside of the chapel, my whole being was still in a powerful field of energy.  A friend came.  She was touched by what happened.  She said she knew the Holy Spirit filled me.  She said the pastor was wrong.  She said she would talk to him when the service was over.  I told her not to because it was the pastor's job to make sure everything went on smoothly during service.  Another friend came to ask if I was alright.  She was always very supportive.

A pastor came out of the chapel and gave me a hug.  Though no words were spoken, I was grateful for her loving kindness.  Later, another pastor came to explain the action of the pastor that had stopped me.  I said I understood.

Right after the service was over, a friend came.  She said I should have made sure I was always in control and should not have let any force control me.  Deep inside, I knew it was not 'any force'.  I looked at her.  I did not say anything.  She said what she said because she cared.  She might not know me, but she was a friend.

Then a woman with a broad smile on her face came out of the chapel.  Her eyes lit up when she saw me.  She walked to me.  I recognized she was the first one I was guided to work on.

She said the church had asked her about her reaction to what happened.  She said, "They thought (the church) I was upset.  I told them it was just the opposite!"  She told them what happened was not an accident.  She had not been feeling well and her heart was heavy because of what went on in her life.  This morning she prayed for healing before she came to church.  She went to sit in the square area as she always did.  However, as she was about to sit down, it came to her that she should sit in the rectangular area.  She told me as soon as I stood up to work on her, the heaviness in her heart was lifted off her.  She marveled at what happened and talked some more about how she felt during the healing.  She thanked me.  I said it was not me that healed, but the Grace of God.  I was grateful the two of us were in this wonderful, humbling, and heart warming experience.

I waited outside of the chapel wanting to apologize to the senior pastor.  But, what could I say?  How could I explain?  I stood up and left.

At home, I could not get my mind off what had happened.

Similar incidents in a less dramatic manner had happened during quarterly healing service and healing prayer circle on Tuesdays.  However, it was a total different matter when it happened during the regular Sunday service.

Why did it happen?  What should I do now?

I was very grateful for the touches of God during the challenging years.  I had made a vow to commit to the Will of God.  I had asked to be of service.  However, most churches would not allow this to happen during service.  What should I do if it happened again?  I knew my unconventional hand movements or how I went about during healing had already caused some to think that my ego was at work.  The truth was I did not like attention.  If my ego was in control, I would never want to put myself in any of these situations.  Most of all, who would want to be asked to leave the chapel!

Why?  Why?  I asked my guides and angels.  I wanted answers.  I decided I would not attend Sunday service again until I got some answers to my questions.  I decided I would continue to go to Tuesday's healing prayer circle to be of service.

As things continued to unfold, I eventually learned there was an important purpose behind this unexpected and unthinkable incident.

The divine plan is far more complex and intriguing than we can conceive.

                                     ~       ~       to be continued      ~       ~
                       
Click to view Part 2 - The Gathering, Part 3 - The Dream, and Part 4 - Afterthought of the whole experience

P.S.
Looking back, I am very grateful that the Divine pushed me to hold a workshop in the holistic store.  It never crossed my mind I was qualified to facilitate a workshop.  In doing so, more and more people received the gift or uncovered which was within.  I was no longer looked on as different.  For that, I sent my heartiest thanks to the Loving Divine, my guides, angels and all the participants in the workshops.  Please click to view A beautiful pink fish on the back of a white dove