After relating the message of cooperation in my last post, I signed off in a hurry. I knew the story was incomplete, but I published it anyway. (Re Cooperation and the human drama of misunderstanding )
Personally, I found it challenging to write about the misunderstanding because it involved the people I knew and loved. (Click to view similar experiences as in The Unexpected Incident and The Gathering ) I wanted to share the lessons I learned, but in writing about the incidents, sometimes others might appear to have wronged me. It was far from the truth for I did not go through any lesson that I had not asked for. In our intricate interconnected relationships, We are all tools in the divine plans.
In the drama of misunderstanding, I understood others were going through their lessons while I was going through mine, and it was not about who was right or wrong. Still, the human I was reluctant to write about this kind of experiences. A dream I had years ago (See A Play on the Stage) came to my mind this morning. I remembered the lighthearted mood in the dream as we walked out of the theater (i.e. after we finished living a physical life). Indeed, whatever happened was but a scene I and others played on the stage of life. It helped me to move beyond my reluctance which was but a form of fear.
Here was what happened after the misunderstanding.
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After contemplating over the message of cooperation, I decided I would continue to participate in the Tuesday healing prayer service. It was my commitment to be of service, and I should not stop because of the misunderstanding.
- I would continue to center in love and hold the space for healing as we read the names of those who asked for prayers.
- When the pastor asked if anyone wanted to receive healing, I would close my eyes so that the pastor would call other healers in the circle. (Re my last post Cooperation and the human drama of misunderstanding)
- I also prayed for an opportunity* to have a heart to heart talk with my brother and sister to clear the misunderstanding between us. *Other than the pastors, two to three people (incl. me) were there on a regular basis. Others joined us when they could, and some came to receive healing. I prayed for an occasion where there would only be the pastors and me.
The brother was not there on the following Tuesday. It was the November election day. He always worked as a volunteer on election days. The sister facilitated the service. There were four of us to start the circle.
Half way into the service, some people walked into the chapel. S (the wife of the founder of the Church) walked in with her friend. Another woman who came once in a while walked behind them. I could feel the energy was raised as the new circle was formed. Later, the young man who was there the Tuesday before came.
Near the end of the service, the sister asked if anyone wanted healing. S said she wanted to receive healing . The sister rose to work on her. With my eyes closed, I sent S my blessings. On the few occasions that we met, she had always treated me with love and kindness. I was grateful.
Suddenly, I heard the sister called my name. I opened my eyes, and realized the woman who came with S also asked for healing. (On that day, I was the only other healer.) I went to work on her. Powerful energy flowed into me. I had to breathe deeply to keep up with the flow of the energy. When the healing was completed, the woman said she had never experienced such powerful hands. S said she knew I was the one with powerful healing hands. I sighed in my heart, "Please, please don't use the word powerful! I do not want any more misunderstanding." Though I did not say it out, S, the intuitive spiritual teacher she was, must have sensed my emotions. She asked how I was doing, and gave me a hug. We talked for a short while. Another friend also talked to me.
When I walked out of the chapel, I saw my friend** standing in the lobby. (**She worked with me in healing workshops and was on the board of directors.)
The woman that I had worked on was now sitting on a chair in the lobby. When she saw me, she immediately told my friend about the energy that came through my hands. She said she had never experienced such powerful healing energy before. Her words triggered a deep sense of sadness within me. I had never considered myself more powerful than anybody. I became the cause of division when some thought that I did. I said to my friend, "I come to unite. I do not come to divide. It may be I should not participate in the quarterly healing service anymore." My friend was surprised at my words. She asked if she should speak on my behalf during church meetings. I said 'No'. I rushed out of the church because tears were about to flow down my face.
I was emotional beyond my understanding. Once outside of the church, I suddenly realized what happened (being misunderstood, being judged) must have triggered some deep emotions of lifetimes ago. In my 2001 channeled reading, my guides and angels told me I had lived some lifetimes similar to another being. I was judged, denied, or rejected by circles / families that said I did not belong; I had to prove myself or fight to get in. With this realization, something seemed to lift off me. My eyes were still wet, but the heaviness in my heart was gone. I recalled it was a beautiful day. In the loving sunlight, I walked towards the parking lot with a renewed sense of peace. (As I wrote to here, I believed the powerful healing energy that came through that day was for my healing as well as for the woman. For this, I gave my heartiest belated thanks to the Loving Divine. In the truth of NOW, belated was but a matter of speech.)
I went to church on Sunday because we had a healing circle after service. I was happy to see some of my friends who had participated in the healing workshops. It was a good circle. I did not go to the Tuesday prayer circle. On the 11th and 12th of November, we had a storm. Rain poured for two days, and the power went out. For four days, our apartment had no electricity, and of course, no hot water. I did not go to church for I could not take a shower. The water was too cold.
I began making a scrapbook and filling a photo album for my younger son. We lived in different states and hundreds of miles apart. I wanted my son to have them so that he could show them to his family especially his children. I took out all the photos, his school works that I had kept over the years, his awards and letters from his teachers, the newspapers and etc. It was the first time I made a scrapbook. I did not want to simply fill up the pages. I selected every photo for the album and filled each page of the scrapbook with love. When the power returned, I did not turn on the computer. I continued working on the album and scrapbook. On Nov. 23, I was very surprised to find that the ten years old computer had died. (It was my younger son's computer. He used it during his college years. When he moved to his own house, he let me have the computer. At that time, he already told me it probably would not last long.)
On Dec. 1, I decided it was time to clear the misunderstanding. I prayed before I went to the healing prayer service. I prayed that I would be able to connect with my brother and sister on a heart to heart level. I prayed that only words of Truth and Healing came through my mouth. I asked the Divine to surround all of us in loving white light. When I started the car, it was 11:11 am (Angel Time!)
Seven of us were at the healing prayer service. When the service was over, I told the circle I wanted to talk to the brother and the sister; others might leave, or they could stay if they wanted to. To my surprise, all of them wanted to stay! Everyone listened attentively while I talked. When I finished, I saw tears in my brother's eyes. We stood up and hugged. Thank you, my brothers and sisters, for your grace of listening.
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With our human nature, we are bound to have conflicts and misunderstanding. I believe all of us have misjudged / misunderstood others as well as have been misjudged / misunderstood. We cannot expect everybody to know us or understand us because we have different personalities, temperament, backgrounds, and life experiences. We look at others and situations from different standpoints. Some people believe all misunderstanding can be solved through talking. It may not necessary be. Sometimes people hold onto their views no matter what others have to say. People (we) will only change when they (we) are ready.
After learning many lessons the hard way, I know I am responsible for my actions and the state of my being (emotions). In time of dramas, I learn to return to the core of my being where peace resides, and let love guide me in all that I do.
Have a nice night!
Peace,
Q of D
P. S. Life was truly unpredictable. If I knew we would move back to the state in July 2012, I might not have spent days and nights looking through boxes of old stuff to make the scrapbook and fill the photo album as a gift for my younger son. Well, I was glad I did.
For a whole year, I did not buy another computer. I wrote down some of the things that happened in my life in notebooks. I finally agreed to buy a new computer and subscribe to the Internet before Thanksgiving Day of 2010 because I wanted to video chat with my loved ones. With my son and daughter-in-law's encouragement, I began writing my blog in 2011. Now, I am connecting with you through this blog. All is well in the Loving Divine.
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