He said, "How can you be happy about your new hairdo?"

Greetings!

Recently I had a perm.

The stylist was very friendly.  She spoke many languages and dialects.  We talked in Cantonese.  She was not born or raised in China.  She spoke Cantonese fluently because that was the language her family spoke at home.  She asked how I wanted my hair to be.  My hair was about an inch above my shoulders.  I asked her to trim my hair only a little bit for I preferred long hair than short hair.  She showed me pictures of different hair styles.  There was a picture of a woman whose hair was as long as mine with some curls at the ends.  Pointing at the picture, she said, "This is what you prefer, isn't it?"  I said, "Yes!  I do not want my hair to be too curly."  With some hesitation, she said, "But ... I will cut your hair in layers.  You look better that way."

Soon, I saw lots of my hair on the floor.  Some were many inches long.  That was not what I wanted, I thought.  However, I did not say anything.  I decided to let her do her job.  I had not had a perm for a long, long time.  In a way, I was tired of my old look.  I came for a perm because I wanted a new look.

The stylist told me some of her life stories.  She moved to this state 17 years ago from a big, populous city of another state.  She had been a hair stylist for over 25 years.  I expressed my disbelief for she looked like a young woman in her early 30 s.  She smiled and said, "It is the makeup!  Without the makeup, I look old.  My children are 14 and 18.  If I got married early, they should have finished college and on their own now."  Seeing my gray hair, she said, "I know you have never dyed your hair.  In the future, it may be good to consider dyeing your hair if you have to go to a wedding or attend other special occasions.  Nowadays, most people dye their hair on a regular basis.  Please come in.  I will dye your hair for you."  I thanked her for her advice.

I went to the hair salon early in the morning.  As time went by, more and more customers walked in.  Though busy, the stylist was very attentive.  She brought me magazines, talked to me, and checked on my hair from time to time.

When the perm was set, another woman washed my hair and massaged my head for a long while.  Before I came to USA, I went to hair salons quite often.  The woman that washed my hair that morning was wonderful.  I felt relaxed and thoroughly enjoyed how she massaged my head.  When she finished, she said, "Before I worked on this job, I thought every body's scalp was similar, but it was not.  My fingers are now very sensitive to different types of scalps."  Her coworker that had finished washing another customer's hair said, "The one I just worked on had a thick and soft scalp.  When I tried to massage one area, her skin slipped to another side."  The woman that washed my hair said to me, "Your scalp is thin as if it sticks to your skull. Your skull is very hard.  My hands have to work extra hard to give your head a good massage."  I knew it was true.  I said, "Thank you."

When I walked out of the hair salon, three hours had gone by.  My hair was much shorter than before.  Besides, it was quite curly.

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At home, my husband asked, "How do you like your hairdo?"  From the look on his face, I knew how much he disliked my new look.  I said, "I know you really don't like my perm, but, please ... keep you negative comments to yourself.  First of all, the perm is done.  It doesn't help telling me how negatively you view my new hairdo.  I had not had a perm for a long, long time.  This is something I had wanted and finally did.  I am happy."

I knew my husband.  Once he felt negatively about something, he could not stop expressing his view.  After all, we had been married for a long time.  After a pause, he said, "But, how can you be happy about your new hairdo?  It looks terrible."  With a true smile on my face, I said, "I look at the whole thing from a different point of view.  I went for a perm because my hair was lack of elasticity.  The stylist was nice and friendly.  The woman that washed my hair gave me a wonderful massage on my head.  I had never felt that good when someone washed my hair.  When I look into the mirror, the hairdo is different from what I have in mind, but, it looks good to me. Furthermore, with the perm, I know I can style it the way I like later.  My hair grows fast.  Soon it will be longer than it is now."

My husband asked, "Did you leave a tip?  If I were you, I would not.  How much tips did you give?"  I answered, "Hair salon is a service business like a restaurant.  I gave them an appropriate tip for I appreciate their service.  Why would you want to know how much I gave?  Knowing about it will only add to your displeasure.  Let it go.  It is my hair, and, I am happy with my new look."

For a few days, my husband continued to look at my hair with that kind of look.  I smiled at his funny behavior.  Two women that I worked for had good comments about my new hairdo.

On the fourth day, I washed my hair.  I dried my hair with a blow dryer.  Later, I walked into the family room.  My husband looked at me with his eyes widely opened.  "You look a 100% better than the day you had the perm!  How did you do that?"

We can react with anger when other people are angry at us for no proper reason.  We can feel sad when other people are sad.  We can also choose to be happy no matter what - that was the best advice my spirit guide gave me many years ago.

Peace and Love,
Q of D