Greetings!
Fall is my favorite season.
The weather has been nice. There have been lots of construction near where I live. As a result, Geese and ducks rarely stop by the school fields anymore. I have seen a few cicadas clinging onto trees in the process of getting out of their old skins, a big monarch butterfly, a beige leaf-like moth about 2"x2", and a larva with special pattern* crawling across the track right in front of me. *I had seen the same patterned larva two other times over the last 13 years. I could not find a match online.
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Since I published my last post I am not just my personality & we are not just earthling - 1 near the end of July, I had been working on this post on and off for weeks. I thought I could finish it on the 29th of August. After I signed in to my blog, I decided to read an old post. When I went back to the draft, I must have pressed a wrong key or did something wrong. Everything was erased. I tried all that I knew of such as clicked on the undo arrow and tried to retrieve the content from the time stamp in history. It did not work. Not long after, there was no Internet for the rest of the day. Luckily, it was the new me; otherwise, I would have felt very frustrated. In some ways, I felt good to start the post anew.
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On zoom, I had heard people said that they felt earth was not their home since they were young. Some of them eventually found out from channels that their souls were originated from other star systems.
Growing up, it never crossed my mind that I was anything else other than a human being. In our Chinese culture, we believed in the afterlife and reincarnation. When someone died, the soul left the body and went back to the other side waiting to be born again. For those that lingered on earth, we called them ghosts.
Since young, I observed the lines on my palms looked different from my siblings and other children. Mine were deep and more complicated than theirs. In my teens, I read a few books on palmistry. There was a time I read others' palms so as to practice what I learned. I seemed to get the hang of it. After I got married, I put all that I had learned behind me. As I aged, the lines on my palms were no longer deep. They looked pretty normal now.
As a small child, I had long, vivid, story-like dreams. Upon waking up, I was eager to share my fascinating dreams, e.g. I dreamed about a story in which I was riding a horse in vast land and dreams where I flew instead of walking. My family thought that my dreams were my imagination. I had not learned to read, and there was no television until many years later. I had always been observant. I knew who was sad or happy. When I observed others were not really interested to hear my dreams, I began to keep them to myself. Gradually, I tried not to think too much about my dreams except when I had those out of nowhere dreams that captured my attention. Anyway, that was how I got the nickname 'the Queen of Dreams'.
In I was nicknamed the Queen of Dreams , I shared a dream about my grandfather. A dream also played an important role in my marriage. I remembered some of those out of nowhere dreams clearly even though I had not written them down. I only began to write down some of my experiences and dreams after 'Night Vision - Pieces of a Dream' - an incredible phenomenon in the restaurant years.
I worked for some years before I got married. At work, I put my observer mode on hold, and focused on doing my job. In Edward Snowden, and, the line between right or wrong , I had shared some of my work experiences.
I felt blessed when I became a mother. I observed my sons were quite different in personalities, but were wonderful in their own way. Watching them grow brought me joy. I was a simple Chinese woman. I was not into fancy clothes or luxurious things. Fame, fortune, and winning / success were not important to me. I had a part time job working 28 to 35 hours a week during the day. I was happy that I did not have to work at night. My husband was a cook. He worked six days a week from morning to night, and came home around 11 pm. To me, it was very important that I was home to cook and take care of our sons. I was content with my simple life.
Then came the restaurant years.
From what I had shared, you probably understand that I did not want to get into the restaurant business. One of these day I might (might only) share more about my experiences during those years, and the unexpected challenges before and after the restaurant was opened. (In retrospect, many of our experiences could be 'quite a story' if we looked at them from an impersonal standpoint.) My husband had high hopes for the business. With the unexpected problems one after another, he slowly blocked out the situations, and left them for me to handle. Here came the lesson of resentment because he was the one who insisted to have a restaurant. However, seeing how he was, I could not help but looked at him with compassion. With nowhere and no one to turn to, I began to pray / turn within; as I prayed, I included other people / families that I met (e.g. I saw someone was sad or sick, or when I heard of a divorce / death in a family). (In my post "In the name of God, heal!" , I prayed for the customer/friend and the worker in the store with all my heart because I truly cared about them. All healing were the Grace of the Loving Divine.)
One night, I invited highest loving beings from other dimensions as well as loving beings on earth to join hands with me to form a big Circle of Love around the world; I prayed for world peace and those that were suffering. (I had written about the Circle of Love in More on my journey as a channel of spiritual healing energy )
In the last quarter of 1999, I found myself being pulled out of my sleep to see 4:44 a.m. again and again. One morning in the early hours, I heard a man's voice loud and clear saying the strangest sentence that I had ever heard. Meanwhile, I happened to see 444 quite often, e.g. cars with 444 license plates, invoice with the number 444, and 4:44 p.m. One day, I found a small green bible in my sons' room. As soon as I picked it up, a page number came to me. There was a name on that page. Then I 'got' another page number, and the same name was on that page. (Re The background of the significant experience of the birds ) These incidents caused me to look for answers. I began to borrow spiritual books from the library. From books, I learned that we all had spirit guides and angels supporting us, and 444 meant the Power of God's Love. We sold the restaurant business in 2004.
From the restaurant years, I learned -
No matter how dark the situations may seem to be, all will come to pass.
Don't dwell in our own misery, look beyond it; look at others with love and compassion, and we will realize we are not the only ones that are suffering; there are others, to a lesser or greater degree, that are dealing with their own pain / suffering / challenges too. As we connect others with love and compassion, the heaviness in our heart is lightened because love modifies all that is not of love. When we look past our own suffering, We can all be the love and support to one another no matter what situation we are in. When we open to love, we open ourselves to recognize the beauty, grace, mercy, synchronicities, wonders, and magic of life. We begin to see life in a new light.
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In late May, 2005, I spotted an ad on a spiritual magazine about a circle that met every Thursday morning from 10 to noon. That center was not far from where I lived. I wanted to join the circle, but part of me was afraid to step outside of my comfort zone. I had a hard time falling asleep on Wednesday night. I tried to talk myself out of it, e.g. my English was not good, I was not a psychic or a healer. Hours went by. Finally, I said to myself, "I am not going to the circle." And, I fell asleep.
I was soundly asleep when the phone rang. It took me a while to get out of my sleepy state to grab the phone. On the phone was a woman who sounded as sleepy as I was. She said, "I must have the wrong number." Then she hung up. I was upset because her call woke me up. I looked at the clock. It was past ten o'clock. I 'got' that it was my spirit guide's way of waking me up to go to the circle. I hurried up to get ready. I asked my husband to drive me because he drove faster than I did. Arriving at the parking lot, it was far too late to join the circle. I told my husband I just wanted to go inside and have a look; I would be out in a minute. The owner of the center greeted me warmly, and insisted for me to stay. The energy of the circle was wonderful. I told my husband to pick me up later.
When I joined the Thursday Circle, I saw myself as a novice on the spiritual journey. Whenever someone new came, we took turns to introduce ourselves. I often said, "I am XXXXXX. I am simple." (Sometimes I said 'I am a simple Chinese woman'.) On Day 1 some at the circle said that I was a healer. They said they could see that in my energy field. I did not know what to think of it.
During the time I was with the circle, sometimes spiritual teachers, workshop facilitators, psychics/mediums, healers, channels and radio spiritual talk show host dropped in. I did not know them, but some regulars at the circle did. (They might have held workshops or classes in the center at night. I rarely went to the center at night.) On a few occasions, some of them said things about me that I had not expected to hear.
For example, one day a woman walked to me after the circle was over. The teacher of the circle had told us that she was a famous psychic who had her own radio talk show. The woman asked, "You write, don't you?" My immediate response was, "No, I don't. My English is not good." She said, "You do write down what happens in your life." I was somewhat surprised and wondered how she knew. (Ah! I forgot she was psychic!) She said, "You may think what you have written down are simply your personal experiences, and nobody is going to read them. One of these day many people are going to read them. Use the Internet . . . ." I told her I did not have Internet. She encouraged me to keep writing.
During my two years (May 2005 to August 2007) with the circle, I had heard things about me that were hard for the human me to take in or accept. Some people might be overjoyed in hearing he or she was this being or that being. It was not me. It had much to do with my mentality or personality. I liked being the simple me, and observed what happened around me.
In elementary schools, I did not join small groups as most little girls did. When there were conflicts between groups, sometimes my classmates came to ask for my opinion. They often listened to what I had to say. In different elementary schools, I had been chosen by my classmates or appointed by the teachers as the captain of the class. I had not wanted to be the captain, and would have been happy for my classmates who had wished to be the captain.
The psychic that gave me a reading in March 2006 ** described how I felt accurately. Near the end of the reading, she looked at me with compassion, she said, "You come to live as an ordinary person; indeed, you want others to see you just like everybody else, and nothing more; but you also have to accept the truth that you are . . . .and, this has been a challenge for you. You don't see what I see. You are a wondrous light. Place your trust in God. Just be, let yourself be." (** I went to a holistic festival. I put my name in a jar for drawing. Days later, I learned I had won the grand prize. Re The Grand Prize (a $100 gift certificate) and the Second Reading )
In 2016, ten years after the March 2006 reading, the spiritual master who came from another country said to me, "When you accept who you are, you will be much more and can help many people." (Re Day 1 of the one-week evening spiritual retreat )
The spiritual master's words drew a strong reaction within me that night. Nine years had gone by. Soon it would be 2026. I believed self-acceptance and The Lesson of Importance could be the challenge I chose to overcome in this lifetime.
Due to the pandemic, I ventured into something new. I began to join meetings on zoom. The groups I joined were founded in other states. I felt more relaxed because people did not know me. I had heard many wonderful personal stories. There were so many people with amazing gifts and abilities. Once in a while, healers offered free healing sessions, and psychics/mediums/channels offered to give short readings / messages for those that attended. Incredibly, I found the messages that came through correlated with some of my strange dreams and things people said about me during my time with the Thursday Circle.
Life is a journey of self discovery.
I used to think I was just a human being. As my journey continues, I discover my old view of self may not be correct.
In my next post, I shall share some of the correlations between my dreams, what I heard years ago, and readings/channeled messages in recent years.
Love and Blessings,
Q of D
