Be Observant of Our Pattern / Attitude

Greetings!

There had been lots of Internet or Wi-Fi interruptions in recent weeks / months.  The connection was lost on and off throughout the day.  At times there was no Internet for hours or even for a whole day.  As a result, I could not join a few zoom meetings that I had signed up for.  In the last few days, the connection was better than before.  

 

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In my last post She said, "It is a shame that you have retired  (from healing work)."  I could not respond right away because her words caught me by surprise.  I wanted to talk to her, but she did not seem to want to talk to me anymore.  I decided to let it go.

I had not been a professional healer.    

In late May of 2005, I joined a spiritual circle that met every Thursday from 10 a.m. to noon.  Whenever it was my turn to introduce myself, I said, "I am XXX XXX.  I am simple".  Some at the circle were psychics, mediums, healers, and channels.  They said that I was a healer.  I did not take it to heart even though I occasionally felt a surge of energy when I sat among people.  To me, I was a novice on a spiritual journey.  Two months later, the teacher of the circle told me that my spirit guide had been prompting her to tell me to learn healing.  My English was not good.  It was already unconceivable that my guide told me to teach and write.  I did not follow the guidance.  I just could not imagine myself working as a healer in a western culture.

A year and a half later, I finally told my guides, "I am ready to learn healing.  Please bring me a teacher."  Near the end of March 2007, I went to a 2-day healing workshop that was held in another center.  

The teacher of healing came from another state.  (Posts about the teacher We are all divine instruments from time to time and Their Way of Being Inspired Me )  Originally, she had said the workshop would be held in our center in April 2007.  After a mini session with her during the psychic night, I had decided to attend her workshop.  However, I had not told her.  On the last Thursday of February, a friend rushed in.  She did not come regularly because she lived in a city that was not near the center.  The teacher of healing sent her to tell me the workshop would be held in another center and in March instead of April.  At the time, I had not subscribed for the Internet, and did not have an email address.  Both the friend and the teacher did not know my phone number.  I would have missed the workshop if the teacher did not send the friend to tell me.   The teacher of healing had said she was in constant communication with the Divine (e.g. archangels and ascended masters).  Indeed, she was.

When I told my friends that I had learned a healing art, the teacher *** of the Thursday Circle asked me to be the on-site healer on Wednesdays.  (*** By then, she was also the owner of the center.)  Some people might be excited about the opportunity, but I was not.  The other on-site healers in the center were experienced healers.  Besides, a couple of my friends in our circle were Reiki masters.  They were qualified healers.  I just went to a healing workshop.  I could not be an on-site healer.  The teacher of the circle who was a long time professional psychic said Wednesday was mine if I accepted.  She saw more in me than I saw myself.  I said I would not accept money for sessions because I really did not know much about healing.  She said it was up to me.  To my teacher and friend, thank you for your love and support.  (Re More on my journey as a channel of spiritual healing energy )

Five months later, we moved to another state because our older son found a job there.  (Re The Amazing Prophetic Dreams of Moving - Story 1 )

Soon after the move, the teacher of healing called.  She told me that two Unity ministers that had gone to her healing workshop would be visiting a Unity church in the city I lived in.  The teacher said it might be the three of us could offer healing after Sunday service.  It did not happened because the two traveling ministers were there for their own agenda.  However, going to Unity Church was very much in the divine plan.  While I was there, I met a mother and daughter who were both mediums.  They gave me the address of a small interfaith church.  They said that church was for me.  They were right.  I eventually called the small church my spiritual home.

Later, the teacher of healing came to the city that I lived in to attend some events in a big spiritual center.  She called me, and we met in a restaurant.  She encouraged me to work as a healer.  She suggested for me to go to different spiritual / healing centers to present (or promote) myself.  I could not follow through on her advice.  With little earthly qualification, I thought no center would allow me to work there.  Above all, I did not know how to promote myself.   (Re Their Way of Being Inspired Me )         

On the last Sunday of Jan. 2008, I participated in the small church's quarterly healing service as one of the healers for the first time.  (Re It is the not knowing that makes life intriguing )  

In Oct., 2008, I had a vivid dream. I did not know how to interpret it.  It so happened I visited a holistic store a couple of days ago, and took its brochure home.  After the dream, I learned from the brochure that there was a free dream interpretation on that day.  A few months later, I was shocked to learn that the store had printed out its Feb. brochure that I would be holding a healing workshop at the end of Feb.  Though I understood divine plan was at work, I was stressed out and got sick before the workshop.  I was made well the day before the workshop.  (Re A beautiful pink fish on the back of a white dove )

I was very, very relieved after the workshop was over.  I thought I would not hold another workshop again.  I did not know I would be holding the second workshop 8 months later, and would go through a drama of misunderstanding.  Eventually, my friends and I held two more workshops before I left that state in 2012.  Many people talked about creating vision boards.  In my case, the human I had not envisioned holding any healing workshop at all.  (Re  Cooperation and the human drama of misunderstanding )  

After the first two healing workshops, the church kindly allowed me / us to hold a healing circle once a month after Sunday service.  Many people had gone to healing workshops, but did not have a place to practice what they had learned afterward.  The healing circle was open to people that wanted to receive healing as well as those that wanted to give / practice healing (any healing modality).  There was no charge.      

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The incident (i.e. She said, "It is a shame that you have retired") happened in 2023.  It reminded me of a similar incident while I was with the small church.  After the quarterly healing service, a woman walked to me and said, "You are a healer!  Why do you work in a cafeteria?"  I was not good in remembering faces and names.  She looked familiar to me, i.e. someone I had seen at church.  While I tried to remember who she was, she walked away.  I wished both of them had taken the time to talk to me.  I would have been very grateful if they did.

The woman said it was a shame that I had retired from healing work.  First, I had not been a professional healer.  Second, I always held the pure intention of service, and was opened to be a channel of healing and divine blessings to the others wherever I am.  I did not think I had retired or would ever retire from being a channel of healing.  

I had not shared with my friends at church about how I came to work in a cafeteria.  It had something to do with a dream.  In a reading some months later, the channeled message confirmed there was a purpose for me to work in the cafeteria.  However, the plan did not come to fruition.  I had to leave that state because of my husband's condition and my son found a new job in another state.  As for the caregiver job, I thought of not accepting the job while I was driving home after the interview.  Lo and behold, the license plate of a car in the next lane drew my attention.  It was with the name of my angel!  And, I changed my mind.  It was the same with working as a volunteer for a Chinese charity group.  Week after week, there was nothing to do in the office.  The phone rarely rang.  I could not help but wondered why I was there.  The human I might not know the reason, but the Divine knew.  (Re I saw no purpose of being there )

   

When the 2023 incident resurfaced in my mind, I did not think much about it.  A few days later, two past dream experiences came to my mind.  

1.    In the dream, I kept asking myself, "Why am I here?"  (published on Feb. 15, 2021) and the subsequent post Have a Great New Beginning 

2.    The pattern in my life that needed to be changed (published on June 9, 2012)

It was a shocking realization that years and years had gone by, and I still went through life with similar attitude / pattern.  In August 2016, the spiritual teacher had said to me, "When you accept who you are, you will be much more and can help many people."  (Re Day 1 of the one-week evening spiritual retreat )  In recent years, I was at ease and at peace with myself / life.  I thought I had accepted who I am.  Obviously, it was a false assumption since I doubted myself even in my dream.  The resurfacing of the 2023 incident was a reminder for me to work on myself, to be observant of my action and thinking, and to let go of patterns and thought that did not serve me.

Nov. 28, 2024 will be Thanksgiving Day.  Happy and peaceful holidays to all of you!

Love and Blessings,

Q of D

She said, "It is a shame that you have retired."

Greetings!

A long time spiritual seeker once said in a gathering that he lived in the moment of now.  His mind was often clear and calm.  I thought 'Wow!  That would be great!' 

Unlike the brother / teacher, my mind was busy except when I was really focused on doing something.  Otherwise, it was like a recorder that played naturally yet randomly of what it had recorded, e.g. chanting / affirmation that I learned,  the music that I loved, and the silly, uplifting short songs that I created.  Once in a while, a past event or incident might pop up in my mind too.

Quite a while back, an incident came to my mind.  It happened over a year ago.  I had put it behind me.  Therefore, I did not think much of it afterward.  As time went on, more experiences that had something to do with that incident surfaced in my mind.  Eventually, it caused me to take a good look within and examine my pattern / the way I went about in life.

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Last year I was excited to learn that a new holistic center would be opening in a city near me.  In the months before its grand opening, the center held some promotional events.  I had gone to a few of those events.

One day I went to its pre-opening celebration.  The parking lot was almost full.  After listening to a couple of presentations by the professionals that had leased spaces in the center, I visited different rooms in the building.  It was a rectangular building.  The size of rooms varied.  The hallway was narrow.  At one point while I was in the hallway, I stopped walking so as to let people walked out of a room.  A woman that came out of the room looked me up and down.  

She said, "What profession are you in?"

Caught by surprise, it took me a while to process what she said.  I said, "I am retired."  

She asked, "What do you do before you retire?"

I pondered what do say.  I said, "I was a caregiver."

She seemed to be puzzled by my answer.  She said, "But, you know healing, don't you?"

Ah, she could see, I thought.  I said, "Yes, I do."

Immediately, I could feel her disapproval of me.  She walked away saying, "It is a shame that you have retired!"  

I saw her walked into another room.  I decided to go to that room because I wanted to talk to her.  A few people were inside looking at the display.  She did not look at me as if she did not want to talk anymore.  A young woman walked in.  I recognized her.  She was one of the professionals that gave talk earlier.  She and the woman greeted one another as if they knew each other well.  They talked quietly for a while.  The young woman looked at me.  She said, "It may be we can work together."  It seemed she had other thing to attend to.  She said 'bye' to the woman, and left the room.  Soon the woman left too. 

Sometimes I did not know what to think after an experience liked this happened.      

This kind of incidents happened from time to time.  I believed I had written about an incident that happened while I was with the small church.  One Sunday I took part in the quarterly healing service.  When it was over, a woman walked to me and said "You are a healer!  Why are you working in a cafeteria?"  I stood there thinking "Who is she?  She looks somewhat familiar?  How does she know I work in a cafeteria?"  Before I said anything, she walked away.  In A Strange Conversation with A Professor , the professor seemed to know a lot about me while it was the first time we met.  In The Lesson of Importance , I found it challenging to take in what others said of me.  "You are important to the church and the community."  I never thought I was important or not.  When people said things about me out of nowhere, the human I needed time to process.  Did he / she really say what I thought I had heard?  Why did he / she say that?  Could I have heard it wrong?  He / she often walked away before I could respond.

I wished I was quick to respond, but I was not.  Afterward, I had to deal with the unsettling emotion.

In the above case, her words "it is a shame that you have retired' kind of bothered me.  She did not know me.  How could someone that I had not met before said that to me!  I would have appreciated if she sat down and talked to me.  It might be I should have taken the initiative to ask her if we could talk.  

I share my experience 'as is'.  I shall share with you my introspection in later post(s).

Love and Light,

Q of D

                                           

HOPE is forever the guiding LIGHT

Greetings!

Welcome, October 2024!

Fall is my favorite season.  Recently we have many cloudy days.  Luckily, I no longer feel down when the sky is gray or dark.  (Re Writing Is Healing and On a cloudy, gloomy morning, I go looking for the Sun )

A few days ago, I went shopping for groceries.  I went to the Middle-Eastern store.  When I finished shopping, I chose to line up at the checkout lane where my friend was working.  She had told me she felt happy on sunny days.  This day was cloudy and somewhat chilly.  Therefore, I asked, "How do you feel on this cloudy day?"  She said, "It is chilly.  That is why I have my jacket on.  I wish it is still in the 80 degrees."  After I paid and put everything in my shopping cart, she gave me a couple of extra new bags.  I wondered why.  She said, "It is raining!  The bags are for you to put over your head."  I did not know it was raining outside.  With the plastic bags over my head, I loaded the groceries into my car with ease.  Thank you, Friend, for being considerate and kind.  I was grateful that I met kind people all the time .  

I would like to take this opportunity to thank an exceptional earth angel again.  His name is Eric.  Please view my post The Good Samaritans .

I also recalled the muscular earth angel (or an angel in human form ?) that came to our rescue when the old man in a heavy motorized wheelchair got stuck in the narrow path.  (Re The Divine knows what will happen and an earth angel awaits )

A loved one thought that I believed everyone I met was good / kind.  He was somewhat concerned about my safety.  I knew very well that there were all kind of people in the world.  I always paid attention to the surroundings.  On several occasions, I was able to save myself, my loved ones as well as a few that did not know me from harm because I was alert.  

Hurricane Helene had caused much destructions and damages especially in North Carolina.  Let us keep all in our prayers.  All the agencies from the Federal and local government worked days and nights to bring relief to those that desperately needed help.  On the news, I learned a rescue team from our state was already there to help.  Whenever other states needed help, the rescue team in our state was always among the first ones to help.  

With this kind of spirit, government doing the best they can for the people, states assisting one another, people helping neighbors, we are alright; hope is forever the guiding light.

Love and Peace,

Q of D