Greetings!
In the morning of July 7, I dreamt of Joan who had moved on over a month ago. (Re I am grateful for the warmth and kindness and Joan is home ).
In the dream, Joan and I sat side by side. I did not see anybody else. In the background, church music was on. I sang along with the music for a little while. I said that was all I knew. Softly, Joan began to sing. I listened. I did not know the song. When Joan finished singing, she turned to face me. We held each other's hands. Joan looked well, and there was much peace in the dream. Then I woke up. For quite a while, I hummed the music again and again. I wanted to record the music, but I did not. Later, I took a walk by the school. I still heard the music in my mind. In the afternoon, I finally sat down to write about the dream, but I could not recall a single musical note of the song. I knew the best time to record a dream was as soon as I woke up, but failed to do so from time to time.
Joan was in Hospice Care before she moved on. Some people regarded spiritual and energy healing practitioners as healers. However, many doctors, nurses, hospice chaplains / workers, and hospital / hospice volunteers were also healers. Their work was very important. They helped to ease the pain, stress, and / or fear of the patients and their families. In their loving, compassionate presence, many people moved on in peace. People often associated healing with a physical healing, but a smooth, peaceful transition was in itself a great healing process.
To Joan, nice seeing you again!
To all the people who serve with love, thank you!
Many Blessings,
Q of D
Thursday, July 9, 2015
Tuesday, June 30, 2015
The rest of the story about the drama of misunderstanding
Greetings!
After relating the message of cooperation in my last post, I signed off in a hurry. I knew the story was incomplete, but I published it anyway. (Re Cooperation and the human drama of misunderstanding )
Personally, I found it challenging to write about the misunderstanding because it involved the people I knew and loved. (Click to view similar experiences as in The Unexpected Incident and The Gathering ) I wanted to share the lessons I learned, but in writing about the incidents, sometimes others might appear to have wronged me. It was far from the truth for I did not go through any lesson that I had not asked for. In our intricate interconnected relationships, We are all tools in the divine plans.
In the drama of misunderstanding, I understood others were going through their lessons while I was going through mine, and it was not about who was right or wrong. Still, the human I was reluctant to write about this kind of experiences. A dream I had years ago (See A Play on the Stage) came to my mind this morning. I remembered the lighthearted mood in the dream as we walked out of the theater (i.e. after we finished living a physical life). Indeed, whatever happened was but a scene I and others played on the stage of life. It helped me to move beyond my reluctance which was but a form of fear.
Here was what happened after the misunderstanding.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
After contemplating over the message of cooperation, I decided I would continue to participate in the Tuesday healing prayer service. It was my commitment to be of service, and I should not stop because of the misunderstanding.
The brother was not there on the following Tuesday. It was the November election day. He always worked as a volunteer on election days. The sister facilitated the service. There were four of us to start the circle.
Half way into the service, some people walked into the chapel. S (the wife of the founder of the Church) walked in with her friend. Another woman who came once in a while walked behind them. I could feel the energy was raised as the new circle was formed. Later, the young man who was there the Tuesday before came.
Near the end of the service, the sister asked if anyone wanted healing. S said she wanted to receive healing . The sister rose to work on her. With my eyes closed, I sent S my blessings. On the few occasions that we met, she had always treated me with love and kindness. I was grateful.
Suddenly, I heard the sister called my name. I opened my eyes, and realized the woman who came with S also asked for healing. (On that day, I was the only other healer.) I went to work on her. Powerful energy flowed into me. I had to breathe deeply to keep up with the flow of the energy. When the healing was completed, the woman said she had never experienced such powerful hands. S said she knew I was the one with powerful healing hands. I sighed in my heart, "Please, please don't use the word powerful! I do not want any more misunderstanding." Though I did not say it out, S, the intuitive spiritual teacher she was, must have sensed my emotions. She asked how I was doing, and gave me a hug. We talked for a short while. Another friend also talked to me.
When I walked out of the chapel, I saw my friend** standing in the lobby. (**She worked with me in healing workshops and was on the board of directors.)
The woman that I had worked on was now sitting on a chair in the lobby. When she saw me, she immediately told my friend about the energy that came through my hands. She said she had never experienced such powerful healing energy before. Her words triggered a deep sense of sadness within me. I had never considered myself more powerful than anybody. I became the cause of division when some thought that I did. I said to my friend, "I come to unite. I do not come to divide. It may be I should not participate in the quarterly healing service anymore." My friend was surprised at my words. She asked if she should speak on my behalf during church meetings. I said 'No'. I rushed out of the church because tears were about to flow down my face.
I was emotional beyond my understanding. Once outside of the church, I suddenly realized what happened (being misunderstood, being judged) must have triggered some deep emotions of lifetimes ago. In my 2001 channeled reading, my guides and angels told me I had lived some lifetimes similar to another being. I was judged, denied, or rejected by circles / families that said I did not belong; I had to prove myself or fight to get in. With this realization, something seemed to lift off me. My eyes were still wet, but the heaviness in my heart was gone. I recalled it was a beautiful day. In the loving sunlight, I walked towards the parking lot with a renewed sense of peace. (As I wrote to here, I believed the powerful healing energy that came through that day was for my healing as well as for the woman. For this, I gave my heartiest belated thanks to the Loving Divine. In the truth of NOW, belated was but a matter of speech.)
I went to church on Sunday because we had a healing circle after service. I was happy to see some of my friends who had participated in the healing workshops. It was a good circle. I did not go to the Tuesday prayer circle. On the 11th and 12th of November, we had a storm. Rain poured for two days, and the power went out. For four days, our apartment had no electricity, and of course, no hot water. I did not go to church for I could not take a shower. The water was too cold.
I began making a scrapbook and filling a photo album for my younger son. We lived in different states and hundreds of miles apart. I wanted my son to have them so that he could show them to his family especially his children. I took out all the photos, his school works that I had kept over the years, his awards and letters from his teachers, the newspapers and etc. It was the first time I made a scrapbook. I did not want to simply fill up the pages. I selected every photo for the album and filled each page of the scrapbook with love. When the power returned, I did not turn on the computer. I continued working on the album and scrapbook. On Nov. 23, I was very surprised to find that the ten years old computer had died. (It was my younger son's computer. He used it during his college years. When he moved to his own house, he let me have the computer. At that time, he already told me it probably would not last long.)
On Dec. 1, I decided it was time to clear the misunderstanding. I prayed before I went to the healing prayer service. I prayed that I would be able to connect with my brother and sister on a heart to heart level. I prayed that only words of Truth and Healing came through my mouth. I asked the Divine to surround all of us in loving white light. When I started the car, it was 11:11 am (Angel Time!)
Seven of us were at the healing prayer service. When the service was over, I told the circle I wanted to talk to the brother and the sister; others might leave, or they could stay if they wanted to. To my surprise, all of them wanted to stay! Everyone listened attentively while I talked. When I finished, I saw tears in my brother's eyes. We stood up and hugged. Thank you, my brothers and sisters, for your grace of listening.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
With our human nature, we are bound to have conflicts and misunderstanding. I believe all of us have misjudged / misunderstood others as well as have been misjudged / misunderstood. We cannot expect everybody to know us or understand us because we have different personalities, temperament, backgrounds, and life experiences. We look at others and situations from different standpoints. Some people believe all misunderstanding can be solved through talking. It may not necessary be. Sometimes people hold onto their views no matter what others have to say. People (we) will only change when they (we) are ready.
After learning many lessons the hard way, I know I am responsible for my actions and the state of my being (emotions). In time of dramas, I learn to return to the core of my being where peace resides, and let love guide me in all that I do.
Have a nice night!
Peace,
Q of D
P. S. Life was truly unpredictable. If I knew we would move back to the state in July 2012, I might not have spent days and nights looking through boxes of old stuff to make the scrapbook and fill the photo album as a gift for my younger son. Well, I was glad I did.
For a whole year, I did not buy another computer. I wrote down some of the things that happened in my life in notebooks. I finally agreed to buy a new computer and subscribe to the Internet before Thanksgiving Day of 2010 because I wanted to video chat with my loved ones. With my son and daughter-in-law's encouragement, I began writing my blog in 2011. Now, I am connecting with you through this blog. All is well in the Loving Divine.
After relating the message of cooperation in my last post, I signed off in a hurry. I knew the story was incomplete, but I published it anyway. (Re Cooperation and the human drama of misunderstanding )
Personally, I found it challenging to write about the misunderstanding because it involved the people I knew and loved. (Click to view similar experiences as in The Unexpected Incident and The Gathering ) I wanted to share the lessons I learned, but in writing about the incidents, sometimes others might appear to have wronged me. It was far from the truth for I did not go through any lesson that I had not asked for. In our intricate interconnected relationships, We are all tools in the divine plans.
In the drama of misunderstanding, I understood others were going through their lessons while I was going through mine, and it was not about who was right or wrong. Still, the human I was reluctant to write about this kind of experiences. A dream I had years ago (See A Play on the Stage) came to my mind this morning. I remembered the lighthearted mood in the dream as we walked out of the theater (i.e. after we finished living a physical life). Indeed, whatever happened was but a scene I and others played on the stage of life. It helped me to move beyond my reluctance which was but a form of fear.
Here was what happened after the misunderstanding.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
After contemplating over the message of cooperation, I decided I would continue to participate in the Tuesday healing prayer service. It was my commitment to be of service, and I should not stop because of the misunderstanding.
- I would continue to center in love and hold the space for healing as we read the names of those who asked for prayers.
- When the pastor asked if anyone wanted to receive healing, I would close my eyes so that the pastor would call other healers in the circle. (Re my last post Cooperation and the human drama of misunderstanding)
- I also prayed for an opportunity* to have a heart to heart talk with my brother and sister to clear the misunderstanding between us. *Other than the pastors, two to three people (incl. me) were there on a regular basis. Others joined us when they could, and some came to receive healing. I prayed for an occasion where there would only be the pastors and me.
The brother was not there on the following Tuesday. It was the November election day. He always worked as a volunteer on election days. The sister facilitated the service. There were four of us to start the circle.
Half way into the service, some people walked into the chapel. S (the wife of the founder of the Church) walked in with her friend. Another woman who came once in a while walked behind them. I could feel the energy was raised as the new circle was formed. Later, the young man who was there the Tuesday before came.
Near the end of the service, the sister asked if anyone wanted healing. S said she wanted to receive healing . The sister rose to work on her. With my eyes closed, I sent S my blessings. On the few occasions that we met, she had always treated me with love and kindness. I was grateful.
Suddenly, I heard the sister called my name. I opened my eyes, and realized the woman who came with S also asked for healing. (On that day, I was the only other healer.) I went to work on her. Powerful energy flowed into me. I had to breathe deeply to keep up with the flow of the energy. When the healing was completed, the woman said she had never experienced such powerful hands. S said she knew I was the one with powerful healing hands. I sighed in my heart, "Please, please don't use the word powerful! I do not want any more misunderstanding." Though I did not say it out, S, the intuitive spiritual teacher she was, must have sensed my emotions. She asked how I was doing, and gave me a hug. We talked for a short while. Another friend also talked to me.
When I walked out of the chapel, I saw my friend** standing in the lobby. (**She worked with me in healing workshops and was on the board of directors.)
The woman that I had worked on was now sitting on a chair in the lobby. When she saw me, she immediately told my friend about the energy that came through my hands. She said she had never experienced such powerful healing energy before. Her words triggered a deep sense of sadness within me. I had never considered myself more powerful than anybody. I became the cause of division when some thought that I did. I said to my friend, "I come to unite. I do not come to divide. It may be I should not participate in the quarterly healing service anymore." My friend was surprised at my words. She asked if she should speak on my behalf during church meetings. I said 'No'. I rushed out of the church because tears were about to flow down my face.
I was emotional beyond my understanding. Once outside of the church, I suddenly realized what happened (being misunderstood, being judged) must have triggered some deep emotions of lifetimes ago. In my 2001 channeled reading, my guides and angels told me I had lived some lifetimes similar to another being. I was judged, denied, or rejected by circles / families that said I did not belong; I had to prove myself or fight to get in. With this realization, something seemed to lift off me. My eyes were still wet, but the heaviness in my heart was gone. I recalled it was a beautiful day. In the loving sunlight, I walked towards the parking lot with a renewed sense of peace. (As I wrote to here, I believed the powerful healing energy that came through that day was for my healing as well as for the woman. For this, I gave my heartiest belated thanks to the Loving Divine. In the truth of NOW, belated was but a matter of speech.)
I went to church on Sunday because we had a healing circle after service. I was happy to see some of my friends who had participated in the healing workshops. It was a good circle. I did not go to the Tuesday prayer circle. On the 11th and 12th of November, we had a storm. Rain poured for two days, and the power went out. For four days, our apartment had no electricity, and of course, no hot water. I did not go to church for I could not take a shower. The water was too cold.
I began making a scrapbook and filling a photo album for my younger son. We lived in different states and hundreds of miles apart. I wanted my son to have them so that he could show them to his family especially his children. I took out all the photos, his school works that I had kept over the years, his awards and letters from his teachers, the newspapers and etc. It was the first time I made a scrapbook. I did not want to simply fill up the pages. I selected every photo for the album and filled each page of the scrapbook with love. When the power returned, I did not turn on the computer. I continued working on the album and scrapbook. On Nov. 23, I was very surprised to find that the ten years old computer had died. (It was my younger son's computer. He used it during his college years. When he moved to his own house, he let me have the computer. At that time, he already told me it probably would not last long.)
On Dec. 1, I decided it was time to clear the misunderstanding. I prayed before I went to the healing prayer service. I prayed that I would be able to connect with my brother and sister on a heart to heart level. I prayed that only words of Truth and Healing came through my mouth. I asked the Divine to surround all of us in loving white light. When I started the car, it was 11:11 am (Angel Time!)
Seven of us were at the healing prayer service. When the service was over, I told the circle I wanted to talk to the brother and the sister; others might leave, or they could stay if they wanted to. To my surprise, all of them wanted to stay! Everyone listened attentively while I talked. When I finished, I saw tears in my brother's eyes. We stood up and hugged. Thank you, my brothers and sisters, for your grace of listening.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
With our human nature, we are bound to have conflicts and misunderstanding. I believe all of us have misjudged / misunderstood others as well as have been misjudged / misunderstood. We cannot expect everybody to know us or understand us because we have different personalities, temperament, backgrounds, and life experiences. We look at others and situations from different standpoints. Some people believe all misunderstanding can be solved through talking. It may not necessary be. Sometimes people hold onto their views no matter what others have to say. People (we) will only change when they (we) are ready.
After learning many lessons the hard way, I know I am responsible for my actions and the state of my being (emotions). In time of dramas, I learn to return to the core of my being where peace resides, and let love guide me in all that I do.
Have a nice night!
Peace,
Q of D
P. S. Life was truly unpredictable. If I knew we would move back to the state in July 2012, I might not have spent days and nights looking through boxes of old stuff to make the scrapbook and fill the photo album as a gift for my younger son. Well, I was glad I did.
For a whole year, I did not buy another computer. I wrote down some of the things that happened in my life in notebooks. I finally agreed to buy a new computer and subscribe to the Internet before Thanksgiving Day of 2010 because I wanted to video chat with my loved ones. With my son and daughter-in-law's encouragement, I began writing my blog in 2011. Now, I am connecting with you through this blog. All is well in the Loving Divine.
Thursday, June 18, 2015
COOPERATION and the human drama of misunderstanding
Greetings!
Frankly, I have no idea how to write this post even though I have promised to share with you the experience and the message. (Re my post The business card was but a prompt to share the message )
The experience was about a misunderstanding between people. As with any misunderstanding, our human nature was often the cause of the situation. I loved my brothers and sisters. The human I did not want to write about it. I wanted to skip the experience and go directly to the message. However, without relating the experience, the words in the message, no matter how inspiring, were but liked grains of sand being thrown into the sea - they caused a little stir on the surface of the water / our mind, and then sank onto the floor of the sea / the bottom of our mind. We heard quotes of wisdom or the golden rules of life all the time. Most of us seldom looked within or made any adjustment / change afterward. We continued to live the way we had been.
Frankly, I have no idea how to write this post even though I have promised to share with you the experience and the message. (Re my post The business card was but a prompt to share the message )
The experience was about a misunderstanding between people. As with any misunderstanding, our human nature was often the cause of the situation. I loved my brothers and sisters. The human I did not want to write about it. I wanted to skip the experience and go directly to the message. However, without relating the experience, the words in the message, no matter how inspiring, were but liked grains of sand being thrown into the sea - they caused a little stir on the surface of the water / our mind, and then sank onto the floor of the sea / the bottom of our mind. We heard quotes of wisdom or the golden rules of life all the time. Most of us seldom looked within or made any adjustment / change afterward. We continued to live the way we had been.
Over the years, other people's experiences have inspired me to make a step forward or to take a good look within. It is my hope that the message at the end of the post will help us to work together for the good of all.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
When I moved to Y state in August 2007, I understood the move was very much in divine order. (Re The Amazing Prophetic Dream of Moving ) However, I had no idea what to do or how my life would unfold.
One day, the teacher of healing who lived in another state called me. She told me to go to a Unity Church to meet up with two visiting Unity Church ministers who had learned the healing art from her. She thought the three of us could offer healing after service on that particular Sunday. It did not happen because the ministers visited the church for their own personal reason. While there, I met a mother and a daughter. They were both mediums. They told me to check out a small inter faith church, which they thought might be for me. They were right. I eventually called this small church my spiritual home, and it still is. It was another experience of divine plan at work. Later that year (2007), the teacher of healing came to visit the big spiritual center in the city I lived. She called me, and we met in a restaurant. She talked about what she saw in me. (There was much more to what she said.) Anyway, she said I should work as a healer, and suggested for me to go to different healing centers to present myself. I listened. In my mind, I thought it was impossible. I just learned healing some months ago, and did not have any other qualification. I joined the small church not long ago, and had not yet participated in its quarterly healing service.
During the first few Sundays at the small church, I left right after the service was over. I was not comfortable sitting among people that I did not know well. Fortunately, My Big Moment of Embarrassment helped me to break the ice (formed by myself). I was more at ease with my new friends after this hilarious incident.
On Jan. 6, 2008, a kind pastor told me to ask another pastor for the permission to participate in the quarterly healing service. I was hesitant to do so. I only learned a healing art in March 2007. I might be a conduit since healing energy flowed into me when I sat among people. However, I could not call myself a healer because I did not know much about healing. Before I met the pastor who was the facilitator of the quarterly healing service, I had planned to tell him it was alright to tell me that I was not qualified. What I planned to say turned out to be unnecessary, and I participated in the quarterly healing service for the first time at the end of that month. (Re my post It is the not knowing that makes life intriguing )
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
In Oct. 2008, I had a vivid dream. I went to a holistic store for a free dream interpretation. Months later, the store printed out its Feb. 2009 newsletter with me holding a healing workshop. The manager had never talked to me about it. (Re A beautiful pink fish on the back of a white dove) I did not regard myself a healer. How was I going to facilitate a workshop? Part of me understood it was all meant to be. I became ill because of stress, but was well the day before the workshop. When it was over, I was very, very relieved. I thought I would not hold another workshop again!
A few months later, the friend that worked with me in the first workshop urged me to consider holding another workshop at church. She was on the board of directors. She said several people at church had expressed an interest in learning the healing art. I told her I was not ready. Later, a couple of friends said they wanted to learn the healing art too. Eventually, my friend and I held a workshop at church. (My friend had learned Reiki. She was a dedicated spiritual seeker, and had been into meditation for decades. She received messages. In later years, she offered Akashic Record readings.)
The following Tuesday I went to the healing prayer service as I used to for almost two years. We prayed for those who emailed the church or left slips in the chapel asking for prayers. The pastor who facilitated the quarterly healing service was also the facilitator of this circle. Another pastor, a sister, was always present. When the brother could not come or was out of town, the sister took over the service.
When I arrived, the sister (i.e. the pastor) and a young man were already there. The sister asked about the Sunday healing service. The young man said he was disappointed because he had wanted to receive healing. The sister said she could not come that Sunday because she did not feel well. (She was a long time Reiki practitioner, and had always participated in the quarterly healing service.) From the conversation, it was obvious she had heard what happened on Sunday. She asked how I felt about the Sunday service. I said it was fine. I enjoyed the praying and singing. Later, a few more people came. Then the facilitating pastor arrived. A short conversation that followed shocked me.
The sister said to the facilitating pastor, "Who were the healers on Sunday? Of course, Q of D (i.e.me) was there, the powerful and one of the top leading healers in our church!"
In shock, I interjected, "What are you talking about? I had never said I was powerful!"
The brother muttered a response to what the sister said. His response shocked me.
It was then I realized there was this misunderstanding about me. I closed my eyes. I did not say anything because there were other people in the circle.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
When I was home, I thought about the possible cause of the misunderstanding.
The church videotaped all the Sunday services, and had told us that we could borrow the videos. I participated in the healing service for the first time in Jan. 2008. (The healing service was held quarterly on the last Sunday of that month.) Since then, I was present during all the quarterly healing services. It never occurred to me to borrow a video to see how I did during healing. It was not important to me. I was glad to be of service, nothing more nothing less.
Ten months later, I walked past a pastor ***. He was talking to a woman. When he saw me, he told her I was a wonderful healer. Immediately, I said I was not. He was surprised that I had never watched the healing service videos. (On most Sundays, he was the one who videotaped the service.) He went to get me a video. He said he named the video 'Golden Glow' because of the powerful energy that channeled through. (Re my post A beautiful pink fish on the back of a white dove . All the healers channeled powerful healing energy that day. The colors of the energy were vivid by my side because I stood by a white wall while the rest of the healers stood by a wall with colorful wallpaper. ) *** The same pastor who suggested for me to ask for permission to participate in the quarterly healing service.
After I learned I had to facilitate a workshop in the store, I asked the pastor if I could use it for the workshop. The kind pastor said yes. With my quiet nature, I only talked briefly to a few (incl. the brother and sister in the prayer circle) about the story behind the workshop (i.e. my dream interpretation in the store that led to the workshop). My friend who worked with me in the workshops was probably the only one who knew the truth about how all the workshops came into being.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Many healing modalities had step by step instructions or systematic procedures. The healing art I learned did not have specific instructions except an emphasis in the intention of service and the letting go of the ego. Each practitioner moved differently because each one of us had a unique energy structure. During my first participation in the church's healing service, a few people had formed an opinion of me because of my unconventional movements. Therefore, I played the video of the quarterly healing service so that the participants at the workshop, seeing how I went about in healing, might be more at ease with their unique movements instead of feeling odd or uneasy.
In the workshop, I talked about we should not concern ourselves if the energy that flowed through us was green, blue, gold, purple, white, cold, warm, powerful or subtle. (A few of my friends had confirmed they felt the flow of healing energy diminished once they placed their attention on how powerful the energy was.) As a conduit, we held a pure intention of service, set aside our ego, placed our trust in love, and left the outcome to the Divine. The Divine knew what the recipient needed the most at the time of the healing.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
The sister was always sweet and nice. I told her I did not know much about healing. She gave me some books on healing saying she did not need them anymore. I was very grateful for her kindness. When I learned I had to hold a workshop in the holistic store, I went to the brother and her. I told them briefly about the story behind the workshop. Both of them encouraged me. The sister came to the workshop to show her love and support. I was grateful for her support. When I played the 'Golden Glow' video in the workshop, it could be the first time she saw the video. (Not many people borrowed the videos and watched them at home. I believed most people at church including some pastors did not know about the 'Golden Glow' video except the pastor that was responsible for videotaping Sunday services.)
I recalled the sister talked to me after my workshop. She told me she had a lot on her mind that day. Since her mind was full, she might not have listened to what I said about discernment and why I showed the video during the workshop.
I loved and respected the brother who facilitated the healing service and prayer service. He was the pastor who showed up all the time on Sundays. He enthusiastically joined in the singing, and encouraged others to participate actively. He taught, participated, volunteered, and gave his best to the church. He was a wonderful healer, spiritual teacher, poet, and an author. In his earlier years, he had traveled to many places as a speaker / lecturer for a big spiritual organization. When I learned about the unexpected workshop in the store, I talked to him. His words were calming and supportive. He did not come to the workshop, but I knew the sister's presence in the workshop was representative of the circle.
Sometimes people asked for healing during the prayer service. Knowing that I was inexperienced in healing, the brother (the facilitating pastor) often called my name so that I could practice. I was grateful for the opportunities to serve. As time went by, I sensed the disharmony in our circle for I had always been sensitive to people's feeling. We used to meditate before the pastor asked if anybody wanted to receive healing. I decided to continue sitting there with my eyes closed so that the brother would call the other healers (particularly the sister/pastor) in the circle to give healing. I never meant any disrespect to the brother.
In retrospect, I understood why some people misunderstood me. At church, I had always been honest about my inexperience in healing. But there I was in Oct. 2009 holding another healing workshop. It was easy to understand why some people assumed I had a bloated ego after the 'Golden Glow' video. They did not know I agreed to hold the workshops out of love and respect for my friends and those that wanted to come.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Would the misunderstanding be dissolved if I explained? Should I let it go and move on as if it had never happened? Since I was the cause of disharmony, should I stop participating in the quarterly healing service and prayer service? How should I conduct myself at this time? All of these came to my mind as I thought about the misunderstanding.
I decided to write down what had happened, and thought of what to do later. I took out my journal. I wrote down the date. I noticed I had written down something on the back of the page***. (***Whenever I read or heard something inspiring, I liked to pick up any notebook and write them down on the pages at the back.) As I read what I had written down, I knew it was not a mere coincidence.
The Message
From Edgar Cayce's Soul Development by Kevin J. Todeschi
One of the greatest lessons facing all of humankind is "cooperation". It is not about getting along and working together.
It is a state of being that somehow sets aside personal agendas, beliefs, motives, and desires that enables an individual to become an agent of spirituality in the lives of others.
In other words, true cooperation is learning to work with God so that the Creator can work through you.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
I am going to sign off now. Let all of us keep in mind what true cooperation is. It is a state of being that somehow sets aside personal agendas . . . True cooperation is learning to work with God so that the Creator can work through us.
Good night!
Love,
Q of D
When I moved to Y state in August 2007, I understood the move was very much in divine order. (Re The Amazing Prophetic Dream of Moving ) However, I had no idea what to do or how my life would unfold.
One day, the teacher of healing who lived in another state called me. She told me to go to a Unity Church to meet up with two visiting Unity Church ministers who had learned the healing art from her. She thought the three of us could offer healing after service on that particular Sunday. It did not happen because the ministers visited the church for their own personal reason. While there, I met a mother and a daughter. They were both mediums. They told me to check out a small inter faith church, which they thought might be for me. They were right. I eventually called this small church my spiritual home, and it still is. It was another experience of divine plan at work. Later that year (2007), the teacher of healing came to visit the big spiritual center in the city I lived. She called me, and we met in a restaurant. She talked about what she saw in me. (There was much more to what she said.) Anyway, she said I should work as a healer, and suggested for me to go to different healing centers to present myself. I listened. In my mind, I thought it was impossible. I just learned healing some months ago, and did not have any other qualification. I joined the small church not long ago, and had not yet participated in its quarterly healing service.
During the first few Sundays at the small church, I left right after the service was over. I was not comfortable sitting among people that I did not know well. Fortunately, My Big Moment of Embarrassment helped me to break the ice (formed by myself). I was more at ease with my new friends after this hilarious incident.
On Jan. 6, 2008, a kind pastor told me to ask another pastor for the permission to participate in the quarterly healing service. I was hesitant to do so. I only learned a healing art in March 2007. I might be a conduit since healing energy flowed into me when I sat among people. However, I could not call myself a healer because I did not know much about healing. Before I met the pastor who was the facilitator of the quarterly healing service, I had planned to tell him it was alright to tell me that I was not qualified. What I planned to say turned out to be unnecessary, and I participated in the quarterly healing service for the first time at the end of that month. (Re my post It is the not knowing that makes life intriguing )
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In Oct. 2008, I had a vivid dream. I went to a holistic store for a free dream interpretation. Months later, the store printed out its Feb. 2009 newsletter with me holding a healing workshop. The manager had never talked to me about it. (Re A beautiful pink fish on the back of a white dove) I did not regard myself a healer. How was I going to facilitate a workshop? Part of me understood it was all meant to be. I became ill because of stress, but was well the day before the workshop. When it was over, I was very, very relieved. I thought I would not hold another workshop again!
A few months later, the friend that worked with me in the first workshop urged me to consider holding another workshop at church. She was on the board of directors. She said several people at church had expressed an interest in learning the healing art. I told her I was not ready. Later, a couple of friends said they wanted to learn the healing art too. Eventually, my friend and I held a workshop at church. (My friend had learned Reiki. She was a dedicated spiritual seeker, and had been into meditation for decades. She received messages. In later years, she offered Akashic Record readings.)
The second healing workshop was held in Oct. 2009 on a Saturday and a Sunday, i.e. after the service was over. Most of us (i.e. participants in the healing workshop) came for the Sunday service in the morning as usual. That Sunday happened to be the quarterly healing service. The facilitating pastor did something different that day. He did not ask the healers to go to the front of the chapel to give healing. It might be he saw three pastors (healers) who used to participate in the service were not there. Afterward, some people expressed their disappointment for they had wanted to receive healing. I felt the service was fine. I never thought we had to do things this way or that way. Healing could occur anywhere, any time, or by attending service. I enjoyed the continuous praying and singing.
The following Tuesday I went to the healing prayer service as I used to for almost two years. We prayed for those who emailed the church or left slips in the chapel asking for prayers. The pastor who facilitated the quarterly healing service was also the facilitator of this circle. Another pastor, a sister, was always present. When the brother could not come or was out of town, the sister took over the service.
When I arrived, the sister (i.e. the pastor) and a young man were already there. The sister asked about the Sunday healing service. The young man said he was disappointed because he had wanted to receive healing. The sister said she could not come that Sunday because she did not feel well. (She was a long time Reiki practitioner, and had always participated in the quarterly healing service.) From the conversation, it was obvious she had heard what happened on Sunday. She asked how I felt about the Sunday service. I said it was fine. I enjoyed the praying and singing. Later, a few more people came. Then the facilitating pastor arrived. A short conversation that followed shocked me.
The sister said to the facilitating pastor, "Who were the healers on Sunday? Of course, Q of D (i.e.me) was there, the powerful and one of the top leading healers in our church!"
In shock, I interjected, "What are you talking about? I had never said I was powerful!"
The brother muttered a response to what the sister said. His response shocked me.
It was then I realized there was this misunderstanding about me. I closed my eyes. I did not say anything because there were other people in the circle.
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When I was home, I thought about the possible cause of the misunderstanding.
The church videotaped all the Sunday services, and had told us that we could borrow the videos. I participated in the healing service for the first time in Jan. 2008. (The healing service was held quarterly on the last Sunday of that month.) Since then, I was present during all the quarterly healing services. It never occurred to me to borrow a video to see how I did during healing. It was not important to me. I was glad to be of service, nothing more nothing less.
Ten months later, I walked past a pastor ***. He was talking to a woman. When he saw me, he told her I was a wonderful healer. Immediately, I said I was not. He was surprised that I had never watched the healing service videos. (On most Sundays, he was the one who videotaped the service.) He went to get me a video. He said he named the video 'Golden Glow' because of the powerful energy that channeled through. (Re my post A beautiful pink fish on the back of a white dove . All the healers channeled powerful healing energy that day. The colors of the energy were vivid by my side because I stood by a white wall while the rest of the healers stood by a wall with colorful wallpaper. ) *** The same pastor who suggested for me to ask for permission to participate in the quarterly healing service.
After I learned I had to facilitate a workshop in the store, I asked the pastor if I could use it for the workshop. The kind pastor said yes. With my quiet nature, I only talked briefly to a few (incl. the brother and sister in the prayer circle) about the story behind the workshop (i.e. my dream interpretation in the store that led to the workshop). My friend who worked with me in the workshops was probably the only one who knew the truth about how all the workshops came into being.
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Many healing modalities had step by step instructions or systematic procedures. The healing art I learned did not have specific instructions except an emphasis in the intention of service and the letting go of the ego. Each practitioner moved differently because each one of us had a unique energy structure. During my first participation in the church's healing service, a few people had formed an opinion of me because of my unconventional movements. Therefore, I played the video of the quarterly healing service so that the participants at the workshop, seeing how I went about in healing, might be more at ease with their unique movements instead of feeling odd or uneasy.
In the workshop, I talked about we should not concern ourselves if the energy that flowed through us was green, blue, gold, purple, white, cold, warm, powerful or subtle. (A few of my friends had confirmed they felt the flow of healing energy diminished once they placed their attention on how powerful the energy was.) As a conduit, we held a pure intention of service, set aside our ego, placed our trust in love, and left the outcome to the Divine. The Divine knew what the recipient needed the most at the time of the healing.
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The sister was always sweet and nice. I told her I did not know much about healing. She gave me some books on healing saying she did not need them anymore. I was very grateful for her kindness. When I learned I had to hold a workshop in the holistic store, I went to the brother and her. I told them briefly about the story behind the workshop. Both of them encouraged me. The sister came to the workshop to show her love and support. I was grateful for her support. When I played the 'Golden Glow' video in the workshop, it could be the first time she saw the video. (Not many people borrowed the videos and watched them at home. I believed most people at church including some pastors did not know about the 'Golden Glow' video except the pastor that was responsible for videotaping Sunday services.)
I recalled the sister talked to me after my workshop. She told me she had a lot on her mind that day. Since her mind was full, she might not have listened to what I said about discernment and why I showed the video during the workshop.
I loved and respected the brother who facilitated the healing service and prayer service. He was the pastor who showed up all the time on Sundays. He enthusiastically joined in the singing, and encouraged others to participate actively. He taught, participated, volunteered, and gave his best to the church. He was a wonderful healer, spiritual teacher, poet, and an author. In his earlier years, he had traveled to many places as a speaker / lecturer for a big spiritual organization. When I learned about the unexpected workshop in the store, I talked to him. His words were calming and supportive. He did not come to the workshop, but I knew the sister's presence in the workshop was representative of the circle.
Sometimes people asked for healing during the prayer service. Knowing that I was inexperienced in healing, the brother (the facilitating pastor) often called my name so that I could practice. I was grateful for the opportunities to serve. As time went by, I sensed the disharmony in our circle for I had always been sensitive to people's feeling. We used to meditate before the pastor asked if anybody wanted to receive healing. I decided to continue sitting there with my eyes closed so that the brother would call the other healers (particularly the sister/pastor) in the circle to give healing. I never meant any disrespect to the brother.
In retrospect, I understood why some people misunderstood me. At church, I had always been honest about my inexperience in healing. But there I was in Oct. 2009 holding another healing workshop. It was easy to understand why some people assumed I had a bloated ego after the 'Golden Glow' video. They did not know I agreed to hold the workshops out of love and respect for my friends and those that wanted to come.
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Would the misunderstanding be dissolved if I explained? Should I let it go and move on as if it had never happened? Since I was the cause of disharmony, should I stop participating in the quarterly healing service and prayer service? How should I conduct myself at this time? All of these came to my mind as I thought about the misunderstanding.
I decided to write down what had happened, and thought of what to do later. I took out my journal. I wrote down the date. I noticed I had written down something on the back of the page***. (***Whenever I read or heard something inspiring, I liked to pick up any notebook and write them down on the pages at the back.) As I read what I had written down, I knew it was not a mere coincidence.
The Message
From Edgar Cayce's Soul Development by Kevin J. Todeschi
One of the greatest lessons facing all of humankind is "cooperation". It is not about getting along and working together.
It is a state of being that somehow sets aside personal agendas, beliefs, motives, and desires that enables an individual to become an agent of spirituality in the lives of others.
In other words, true cooperation is learning to work with God so that the Creator can work through you.
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I am going to sign off now. Let all of us keep in mind what true cooperation is. It is a state of being that somehow sets aside personal agendas . . . True cooperation is learning to work with God so that the Creator can work through us.
Good night!
Love,
Q of D
P. S. After the 2nd workshop, a sister * whom I had come to know and respect asked me to go to another city to hold a workshop. Her friend, a Reiki master and a professional healer for years, owned a healing center in that city. She and a few others that had learned Reiki wanted me to hold a workshop there. ( * She was a Reiki master and a participant in the second workshop. I asked her to be the co-facilitator at the 3rd workshop.)
In the last quarter of 2011, a brother told the friend who was on the board of directors that he would be visiting the church during Thanksgiving; he wondered if we could hold a workshop so that he could learn the healing art.
He and his wife lived in another state. He visited the church a few times every year and was the speaker on Sundays. In his earlier years, he had worked closely with the founder of the church. He was a wonderful spiritual teacher and speaker. The congregation loved and respected him. He was also an exceptional trance channel who gave readings by accessing one's Akashic Records. I had a channeled reading by him a year earlier (i.e. 2010). As far as I had heard, he himself was a healer and had witnessed many miracles.
That was how the 4th workshop came into being. It was a 2-day workshop, the Friday following Thanksgiving Day and Saturday. The three of us (the friend that worked with me from the beginning, the friend who was a Reiki master, and me) facilitated the workshop. Three is better than one 😄😄😄. There were other participants in the workshop. We (i.e. all that took part in the workshop) attended the Sunday service. People commented that everyone of us looked radiant. Yes, we were bathing in love and joy.
The human I had not envisioned for these workshops to take place at all. While I never thought that I could or would, these experiences showed me that there was more to life than the human self could envision; the Divine / god self / higher self was forever the planner and doer if we set aside our ego and allow the divine will to work through us for the good of all.
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