Be mindful of what we say

Greetings!

One day, many at the circle tried to help a friend to look at her problems in life from a different perspective.  However, it was obvious this friend was not ready to accept the advice at the time.  She joined the circle not long ago ***.  She was angry and sad because she felt her coworkers as well as her family had not treated her right.  

When the circle was over, she looked lost and frustrated.  I looked at her with compassion.  I walked to her and told her about the good in her.  Then I left.  

When we met again, she said what I said that morning had possibly saved her life. She told me what happened.

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After I left, the friend stayed behind to chat with others in the circle.  Suddenly, she found Cindy** stood in front of her.  (** Cindy used to be a regular at the circle, but had not come for some weeks.  That morning was the first time they met each other.)  Right away, Cindy said the friend was the most negative person she had ever met.  For the next few minutes, Cindy blurted out many more stuff about her such as she was so negative in this incident and selfish in another.  The friend stood there in shock.  She could not utter a word in response to what Cindy said. 

When Cindy finished talking, the friend walked out of the center in a daze.  She got into her car and drove away.  In her mind, she kept thinking she must really be a very bad person, or how else someone that met her for the first time said that of her.  She felt terrible physically and emotionally.  She could not focus on her driving.  Just then, she had a flashback of what I said.  She thought, "I can't be that bad!  Q of D (i.e. me) has said there is good in me!"  Taking comfort in the good in herself, she was able to recover from the shock.  She drove home safely.

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I knew Cindy.  She used to come to the circle regularly.  She was known for her clairvoyance and psychic gift.  We loved her.  Sometimes she seemed to have a hard time dealing with the information she received and what to do with them.  I believed she never intended to hurt the friend.  She probably saw lots of images in her mind eye that day, and blurted them out.  Perhaps she thought it might 'force' the friend to examine her attitude and change by relating what she saw.

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Each one of us learns life lessons at one's own pace.  Sometimes our words can help or uplift others.  At other times, our words may hurt or even destroy others.  To say the right words at the right time can be miracle in the making.  At other times, the same words may either fall into the deaf ears or be the cause of irritation.  We have to be mindful of what we say.  It serves us well to remember we all have our own shortcomings, and always treat others as how we want others to treat us (which to me is love and respect).

When I talked to the friend before I left, I did not know she would have such an experience.  

In retrospect, I can see the Grace of God in this incident.  The experience may seem to involve only the three of us, but it is our experience since we are interconnected.  May love always be in all that we do.

Many blessings,
Q of D

*** All of us at the circle usually hugged one another after the circle was over, but for weeks this friend always walked past me as if she did not see me.  I let it be.  I understood some people were not comfortable with those that looked different from them.  A week earlier, I had taken the first step to greet her because I could sense her frustration was up to the rim.  I walked to her and gave her a hug.  She began to cry, and continued crying for quite a while.  Afterward, she looked embarrassed.  She said she did not understand why she cried.

**not the real name

Her loved ones did not want to hear her talk on spirituality

Greetings!

In a spiritual gathering, a woman said, "My children and their families as well as their in-laws are coming from another state for a visit.  Whenever my daughter comes, she always asked what I have been doing lately.  I enjoy spiritual meetings like this.  I really want to share with my loved ones the spiritual stuff that I have learned.  On previous occasions, everyone became very quiet after I talked.  They looked at me as if I was weird.  My daughter or son tried to talk about something else.  I don't know what to do this time.  If my daughter asks, I probably will talk about this meeting.  I am honest.  I cannot lie!"

From her voice, we could hear she was very frustrated about her situation.  A young man raised his hand and talked for quite a while.  His words were wise and kind.  Unfortunately, the woman, in her state of mind, could not take in what he said.  The woman felt very frustrated because she thought it would be good for her loved ones to hear what she learned.  However, what good could come if they found her talk repulsive?

A few of my friends (female) had voiced similar frustration.  I could relate to how they felt for I was in a similar situation as they were.  My husband was not supportive of me going among people outside of my family.  After I spoke at church or facilitated workshops, my husband never asked if everything went well.

As a child, I gradually knew to keep my dreams to myself when I observed the adults were not really interested in hearing them.  When I had those unexplainable or mystical experiences during the challenging restaurant years, I kept most of them to myself.  It was not easy to convey the touches of the Divine.  On some occasions, these happenings touched me deeply, but I fully understood other people might not feel the way I felt.  Our experiences with God / the Divine were often felt on a personal level.  When others heard them, they might either feel what happened was nothing special or it was all in one's mind to see something out of nothing.  Some might think those occurrences happened by chance or were merely coincidences.
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When I heard my spirit guide's voice for the first time, I knew nothing about spirit guides and angels.  The sentence / message was so strange or unthinkable that I could not set it aside.  I thought there was no way the message was for me.  I called my younger son thinking it might be for him.  At the time, he was a freshman in college.  As more strange incidents occurred, I shared some of them with him.  However, in later years / in recent years, I chose to listen when I was with my loved ones.  As with dreams, I realized it was better to keep my mystical experiences to myself.  I did not feel as frustrated as the woman did because I liked to listen and observe.  Of course, it would be nice if we had someone in the family that was like-minded, but we had to accept if they had different interest / preferences.

I understood my older son's personality.  Therefore, I rarely talked to him about my spiritual experiences.  One day, he talked to me about something.  In response, I shared with him an experience that I thought was relevant to what he was talking about.  Immediately, he said for me not to share with him anything spiritual again.  His bluntness or the tone he spoke irritated me.  In return, I said, "Okay.  I will not share with you any spiritual experience again; likewise, you must promise me you will not talk to me about bodybuilding again."  (Yes, the human I reacted to his words.)  Not expecting to hear what I said, he paused for a while before saying he would not talk to me about bodybuilding again.

Did he stop talking to me about bodybuilding?  No.  When he watched videos of bodybuilding competition online, he asked me to guess who won.  Sometimes he talked to me about other bodybuilders' stories and asked for my comment.

Bodybuilding is his passion.  What is a mother if I cannot listen to him?

As for me, I was mindful of what I said since that day many years ago.  However, on a couple of occasions, I did share something spiritual because I felt the time might be right for him to hear my experience.  He seemed to take in what I said, and did not respond with irritation.

Though he says he is not into spirituality, my son has always let me know he is willing to drive me to spiritual gatherings.  For this, I am grateful.

After I finished this post, I decided to publish Be mindful of what we say
again (it was originally posted in 2012).


Love and blessings,
Q of D

The Last part of A Hard Decision

Greetings!

From the July 12 email, I learned the spiritual teacher was going to deliver his discourses in his language near the end of July and in English a few weeks later; each lasted for a week, and all were welcome to attend both discourses.  The schedule was similar to that of 2016 and 2017.  Some of my friends attended both discourses even though they did not speak the teacher's language.  They wanted to stay in his presence as much as they could.

Before the start of the discourses in the teacher's language, I received an email that all were welcome to attend.  I did not go.  In previous years, I only attended the discourses in English.

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In the evening of August 2, our son drove us to look for a car after he got off work.  On Aug. 3, we picked up a good used car.  (Re I can go places and sit among people again! )  On Aug.4, my phone rang.  My friends sent me a message asking if I was in town.  I was surprised for they had not done that before.  I realized the teacher had probably intuitively known I now had a reliable car.  I thought of the dream I had.  I did not know what to do, and did not respond to the message right away.

When I used the computer on Aug. 5, I found out my friends had sent me an email on Aug. 4 informing me that the teacher was going to hold a special gathering and energy transmission three days later; it would be an auspicious occasion and opportunity that we should not miss.  (I did not check my emails everyday.)

My sons assured me that there was no difference in driving my old 2001 car and the newer model car that we bought.  I knew myself.  It would take me some days to sit in the car as a passenger before I felt comfortable enough to go anywhere by myself.  The special gathering was going to take place at night as the monthly meeting, and I had not driven anywhere at night for over eight months.  Most of all, the decision I made some months ago was not a hastened one.  I had thought long and hard.

It was no accident I went to the June 18, 2016 gathering during which I met the two healers from another state as well as others that lived locally.  Everything that happened was very much in the divine plan.  For instance, many men were in the 2017 spiritual retreat; it was interesting that Matthew happened to be the only one that was born in the year that I had that strange dream.  (Re A Strange Dream , The Mystery of A Twin Sister Continues , Why I had to sign my name before he was to reincarnate and The Divine had its way of revealing to me )

The teacher said it was vital for us to surrender totally to the two masters that had moved on.  On a few occasions, people had asked if they could continue their religious practice or worship the ones they used to worship.  We were told we could if we chose to.  However, we were often reminded that the two masters were very powerful beings especially the female master.  She was not any other divine mother energy, but the one and only universal mother energy that had ever incarnated on earth.  As we surrendered, she would watch over us, guide us and protect us.

I did not know the truth.

As a group, I understood the importance of moving forth with one goal and one mind.  In our monthly meetings, my friends were really into reading the book series and worshiping the masters.  I held a different view about worship.  As human beings, we tended to differentiate and compare, e.g. who was powerful, who was more powerful and who was the most powerful.  It caused separation.  For example, some Christians thought they were far better than others because they followed Jesus Christ; it was the same with some people of other faith.  In my understanding, I believed the awakened ones such as Buddha and Christ did not intend for us to worship them.  They loved and supported us on our spiritual journey.  They wanted us to emulate them to seek the truth within for they knew we were (are) one.

When I happened to re-read my May dream on June 18, I was surprised because I had completely forgotten about the dream.  (Re the dream, please view A Hard Decision - Part Three )  I could not surrender to the masters as my friends did, and had stopped reading the books.  I thought there was no way the teacher wanted me to lead the group.

When I received the email about the special gathering and energy transmission, I thought of the dream again.  I had a different view about worship, but it did not mean my friends' way of being was wrong.  We were all subject to our own views.  I did not feel the need to impose my view on other people.  That was why I was normally quiet sitting among people.  On the occasions I felt compelled to speak up, the strong push within was hard to describe.  Fortunately, I was now more at ease when I chose to speak up.  In many ways, I admired the dedication of my friends towards the mission.  I had no doubt the special gathering was an auspicious occasion.  However, I would not go there because of the energy transmission except I was ready to be one with the group.

After contemplation, I knew I was not going to read the books for the time being.  With my different view, I did not want to be a divisive presence among my friends.  I emailed my friends about my struggle in following the teacher's guidance.  I told them I had decided it was better for the group to move forth with one heart and one mind without me.  I thanked them for their warmth and kindness.  I also expressed my love and respect to the teacher and the two masters.  (In my heart, I truly loved and respected all of them.)  They emailed me saying "We hold very high regard for you and your elevated soul.  Surrender comes slowly and steadily.  Misunderstanding or conflict with our belief system could be the source of delay.  This can be avoided by proper understanding and open dialogue.  Love you forever.  Hope to see you soon."  It was a wise and kind response.  However, I had made my decision.

I did not go to the special gathering or the discourses in English.  I did not receive any more emails from my friends.  The teacher had probably returned to his country after his birthday in September.  On his birthday, I mentally wished him a happy birthday, and talked to him that I never meant any disrespect in not attending his discourses.  I made the choice from where I was at.  A realized teacher that he was, I knew he understood.

I went to the June 18, 2016 gathering because I wanted to meet the two healers from another state.  As a healer, I loved to meet other healers.  We might work differently in healing sessions, but our intention to serve was the same.

With the car, I hope to be more active in the coming year.

Love and peace,
Q of D