Greetings!
Christmas was over, and 2023 would soon come to an end. I thought of my promise long ago.
In The Power Outage and the Refrigerator (published in Sept., 2022). I wrote that 'It was his life, and it was up to him how to live his life' would be the title of my next post. In Have a Great 2023 , I promised to write that post as well as a post to honor the grace of Lord Buddha and Earth Treasure Bodhisattva (Ksitigarbha) because of what had happened. I had sat in front of the computer numerous times. Months went by, I could not finish the post. I decided to let it go, and wrote about other things that happened in my life.
If my husband's death was mainly due to a physical illness, I would not have found it challenging to share. Part of me wanted to let it go - he had moved on; let bygones be bygones. However, deep within me, I understood the importance of sharing what had happened as well as what I had learned from it especially at this time on earth.
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In one online meeting, someone asked the facilitator who was a medium if attachment or possession was real. The medium said she had done hundreds of readings, and had not come across a real case of such manner. She said those so-called phenomena were merely people's exaggerations. She concluded by saying, "Even if there is, we live in a world of free will, and evil spirit can do nothing if we say 'No'." "Oh, if only life is really that simple," I said in my heart.
The above was one of many questions that people asked the medium. Most professional lightworkers held zoom meetings wanting to share / teach what they knew as well as to get more business. Life is not about who is right or wrong. It was the medium's conclusion at the time. As life continued to unfold, sometimes we did change some of our views because of our new experiences. For instance, when my husband came to me in 2003 with his automatic writing message that he said was from his master, I also told him that 'no matter what force, we can always say 'No' because we have the power to do so'. I eventually learned it was far more complicated than what I said. (Re In time of darkness, light always shines through )
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Was there really such thing as possession or evil spirit attached to humans?
In one of her books, Rosemary Altea, a world known medium, wrote about seeing ghosts / the discarnate that died of their alcohol addiction attached themselves to people (alcoholics) at a bar. Other authors also wrote about possessions and evil spirits too.
In some of the channeled readings by Edgar Cayce, the Sleeping Prophet, possession was mentioned as the cause of disease. Furthermore, it was said sometimes automatic writing might be a form of discarnate possession / influence, and might not necessary be inspirational writing from ascended beings.
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Near the end of 2002, my husband asked me to read the stories in a Chinese newspaper about the communist government in China torturing lots of men and women that took up a practice. He was already bitter and negative about life. The stories fueled his anger and hatred toward the government that had wrongly killed his brother during the Cultural Revolution. (FYI - In where we lived, two different Chinese newspapers were available for free in most Asian stores. I read the one that focused on local news / events and not too much on politics. I did not like the newspaper that my husband deemed as a must-read. I found it to be too political and its stand was extreme.)
After reading the stories, I had lots of questions about the practice. I wondered why so many men and women risked being arrested again and again after they took up the practice? Why didn't the fathers / mothers stop doing those moves after being released from jail for the sake / love of their children? As a mother, it was beyond me that a parent could choose to practice the moves and be imprisoned again than to be there for her / his children. The newspaper had portrayed the master as godlike, and my husband believed in what he read. His mind was set. At the time, the word 'possession' did not cross my mind. We lived in U.S.A., and I never thought my husband would soon addicted to the practice as those that living in China. (Re Fall only into the divine emotion of love , In time of darkness, light always shines through and The Broken Alarm Clock and Past / Present / Future )
My husband was hospitalized for the first time in 2008. He only realized he was in a hospital after he came out of his frenzy state. When we were allowed to see him, he looked very weak and scared. I put my hand on his heart. Waves and waves of chilling energy came through my hand to my heart. It took a while to see the color back on his face. Then my guide told me 'enough', and I withdrew my hand. Later, we learned he was transferred to another hospital for observation and evaluation. Though it was late, we drove to see him. We continued to visit him every day. After a few days, a team from the hospital and us sat down for a conference. (There was much more to what had happened. I chose to focus on the title of this post, and skipped other details.) The hospital had run all the tests. They concluded his frenzy state days earlier as a 'sudden happening', and the cause was 'unknown'. The word 'possession' did slip out of a young medical personnel's mouth briefly once. They observed my husband was alert and friendly during his stay, and concluded he was of no danger to the society. My husband was released from the hospital after the conference with no prescription of drug. My son and I were relieved that the ordeal was over. (We hoped it was over, but it was not.)
A few days later, my husband and I went to a medical center for a post-release appointment. (That was a term I used because it took too much time to look up every correct term / word.) A medical personnel interviewed us. I did not know if she was a doctor or a case manager.
I found this interview to be quite strange. All the while, she did not really look at me. She asked questions. After listening to what I said, she tilted her head as if she was listening to something; meanwhile, she looked at the space above her or above me since we sat across from each other. Then she spoke again. This went on during the interview. Before she ended the session, she said something I had not expected to hear. She said, "Your husband will probably be admitted to hospitals 2 or 3 more times, but it is alright. He will be in and out of hospitals, and you should just go about doing your thing such as go to church, attend spiritual fair or events. It is of no use for you to stay and watch over him. You have loved him compassionately . . . . . ."
I was in shock! My husband would go in and out of hospital 2 or 3 more times!! How did she know things about me? I could not help but wondered if the woman that worked in the medical field was seeing images or getting information as psychics did. Of course, I did not tell (translate) my husband what she said.
I had sought help from the small church when the ordeal started. Some at church were Reiki Masters and experienced healers of other modalities. Days later, a pastor sat down with me. He said my husband was well for now, but hinted it might happen again. He gave me a bottle of holy water. (FYI In my experience in later year, holy water had no effect when we needed to use it.)
During that few days, the human I was physically and mentally exhausted; meanwhile, I found myself enveloped in a powerful field of energy, and there was this calmness / peace within that was hard to describe. AND, it was this calmness within that carried me through that traumatic life experience.
As I was writing, I suddenly recalled two incredible incidents that showed the ever presence of God / the Loving Divine. I looked through my notebooks and found the entries. I would write a post to honor the grace of God.
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In the beginning of 2012, I felt joyful and hopeful even though my husband's way of being continued. Over a month ago, I had held the 4th healing workshop. We chose to conclude the workshop in the afternoon after Sunday service. Quite a few people in the congregation commented we* looked radiant. (* i.e. those that were in the workshop the day before) On Jan. 14, 2012, I became an ordained minister of a particular non-denominational spiritual order. I was very grateful for how things had unfolded that I did not have to go to another state for this initiation. (Re The Grace of Good Intention )
Near the end of 2011, my son told me he would look for another job in the coming year. I understood how he felt. He really wanted to move back to the state we used to live, or at least to a state that was close to the home state. I thought it might take months for my son to find the job he wanted, but he got a job offer soon after he posted his resume. At the same time, my husband was hospitalized for the second time. (Re Life is as God is - Turbulence is a life force )
The church had scheduled for me to speak on March 25, 2012. It would have been my third time to speak during Sunday service. Due to the situations, I informed the church that my family would be moving to another state in the second half of Feb. The same pastor sat down with me. He was a wonderful speaker and spiritual teacher. He could see and talk to spirits. At times, he also saw tree fairies and different kind of creatures. When he spoke on Sundays, he shared his experiences from his heart, and there was not a bit of ego. We loved his talks. He told me that they had driven that force out of my husband again; however, he wanted me to know that my husband might open himself up to it again; he said it was his life, and it was up to him if he chose to invite it back.
On the last Sunday I was with the small church, the speaker was a known psychic. She was the most if not one of the most popular Sunday speakers. Her introspection about her own life was valuable. Occasionally, she answered questions or gave short readings at the end of her talk. We often found her no nonsense replies or advice right on the money. However, at times the inquirer just could not get it or accept what she said because that was not what he wanted to hear. The inquirer went on to ask many similar questions. The psychic was patient, and sometimes her humor drew a lot of laughter from the congregation. (I laughed too, but also knew there must be times I was like the inquirer that just would not take in what I did not want to hear.)
When the Sunday service was over, my friend who was the chairwoman of the board approached her and asked when I would return (i.e. to the church). The psychic said I would be in a roller coaster ride in the coming months, but the changes would be good for me. She said I would return home*** within six months. As she was walking away, she said it was up to my husband if he would change the way he lived his life or his attitude, and if he wanted to stay on earth. (*** My friend and I thought she meant the church that I called my spiritual home. As life continued to unfold, I eventually realized she meant the home state that I used to live. Her prediction turned out to be very accurate. Re Life is as God is - Turbulence is a life force )
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The pastor, the psychic, and the woman that worked in the medical center had given me the same advice. I received similar guidance from my guides while journaling as well as in dreams.
It was his life, and it was up to him how to live his life.
As a human being in a family structure, it was natural for us / most of us to care about others in the family, wishing them happy and healthy. It was hard to look past our human labels such as husband and wife, parent and children, in-laws, and siblings. We held different expectations in different relationships. We felt displease or pain when others 'failed' our expectation. I was of no exception, and had gone through my share of disappointments and pain. (Re You feel pain because you let pain be )
One night long ago, I felt miserable thinking about what happened during the day and my husband's troubling way of living his life. In the morning, my guide's advice came through - look at him as a friend. I grabbed my notebook and wrote down the words that came to me. (If I found what I wrote down, I might share it.) My guide was right. I probably would not be that troubled and might see more light in the relationship as a friend. Gradually, I began to look beyond the label of husband and wife, and tried to let go of my expectations of him as a husband / a father.
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This post is too long. I hope to finish Part 2 before the new year. (It was his life, and it was up to him how to live his life - Part 2 )
Relationship is indeed one of the most if not the most challenging lesson in life. If you have time, please click to view the following posts on relationships.
Guide's Words of Wisdom on Relationship (from my guide in March 2003)
Good Night!
Love and Peace,
Q of D
