My Lesson of Discernment

Greetings!

There were 9 healers in the healing service.  Each healer stood behind a chair.  People in the congregation that wanted to receive healing began to fill those chairs.  A woman went to sit on a chair closest to the wall.  The woman healer behind that chair greeted her.  When the service started, the woman was surprised to see the woman healer rushed to work on another person instead of her.  A while later, the woman healer returned to work on her.

The woman healer did not conform to the formality of the healing service.   Her hand movement was unconventional, and at times she did not seem to know what she was doing.  At one point, she went to work on someone that another healer was working on.  Out of politeness, the other healer gracefully allowed her to work on the same person.  During the service, the woman healer worked on those that came to sit on the chair before her as well as others sitting in the congregation.  She was not supposed to do that.  She should work on those that came to sit on the chair or those that asked for healing.  When the service was winding down, people that came for healing returned to their seats, and some healers went back to sit among others in the congregation.  The pastor announced the service was over.  The woman healer was the only healer that still worked on someone who had come to sit on the chair a short while earlier.  Gradually, people left their seats to form the closing circle.  The woman healer tried to let the one that sat on the chair know the service was over.  However, that person continued to sit there as if in a blissful state, and did not know the service was over.

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After publishing my last post Divine Inspiration and Co-creation , I read my notebook of that time.

The above healing service took place two weeks after I read "So Send I You".  Yes, I was the woman healer.  It was the 4th time I took part in the quarterly healing service.  In many ways, I did not act any differently that Sunday from my previous participation.  For instance, in the healing service three months earlier, I was moved by the loving, healing energy to walk forward to send blessing and healing energy to the whole congregation.  I did not know a man was standing behind me wanting to sit on my chair.  After waiting for me for a while, he went to sit on another chair.  I only knew what happened some months later when I watched the DVD of that Sunday.  (Re the DVD mentioned in A beautiful pink fish on the back of a white dove )

In the same notebook, I also read about another incident.

Every Tuesday I joined the small circle of healing prayer service.  One Tuesday, I was late.  The service had begun.  As soon as I sat down, powerful healing energy moved me to work on someone.  Then I went back to my chair, but got up again to work on two more people.  My action totally disrupted the service.  That day we had a service none like the other.  Everyone was very quiet afterward.  I was quiet too.  I wanted to apologize or explain.  But, what could I say or how did I explain?  When the service was over, I stood up to leave.  A woman said, "I told others this morning that I had a severe headache for some days.  You must have heard about that.  That is why you work on my head.  But ... you haven't arrived yet when I talked about my headache."  Similar incidents happened on other occasions.  (Re My higher self and the human I in my healing experiences )  But, these incidents were nothing as serious as that of The Unexpected Incident.

Of course, the human I felt embarrassed in these awkward situations that I caused.  With my personality, I liked to stay on the side as an observer without drawing any attention.  Therefore, I found these situations quite challenging, yet part of me seemed to be unfazed or at peace with what happened.

From the way I acted, some saw me as rude or egoistic.  I did not see fault in others for judging me.  I understood because 'I am a human being too'.  We all formed an opinion in what we saw.

After The Unexpected Incident , a friend said I should never let any force control me.  When I did not go to church, a pastor called me.  He sat in the front, and did not see what happened.  When I told him, he paused for quite a while.  He said most churches would not allow that to happen.  I said I understood, and that was why I stayed home until I knew what to do.  At the end of our conversation, the pastor said I could choose to sit there channeling healing energy without standing up or leaving my seat.  (The truth was that was how the divine worked through me most of the time.  I preferred to sit there without drawing any attention too.)  I did not say anything.  This brother had always been caring and supportive.  However, I felt there was no way for me to explain.  One might have to be in a similar state to understand how it was like to be surged with energy.  When I was moved to get out of my chair to work on others, the human I was surprised.  However, in faith and love, I knew to follow even though I had no idea why it happened.  (If you wanted to know why the healing energy lifted me off the chair to work on five people, please read the three posts that published after The Unexpected Incident .)

When I followed the guidance to sit among people, I never expected to be in these awkward situations.  The human I felt unsettled.  Meanwhile, I understood I should look at what happened with discernment.  Nothing was what it seemed on the surface.  (Re The Unfolding of A Test and We Are All Tools in the Divine Plan ) 

What did I get out of these unexpected happenings?  The Grace of God is always there.  When things continued to unfold, I often got to understand why this or that happened through other's confirmation.  Furthermore, no matter what happened or wherever I was, there were always some people that showed me unconditional love and support.  My heart was constantly filled with gratitude for the love of God that was expressed through my friends. 

When I read about the Tuesday prayer circle incident, it was past 1 am.  In my notebook, I wrote down the incident in detail.  I wrote about how embarrassed it was to sit down and get up again to work on another person;  when I thought it was over, I was guided to work on the third one.  I recalled how my action stunned everybody including me, and how silent everybody was afterward.  In hind sight, I felt the funny side of a life drama, and broke out laughing.  Luckily, my laughing did not wake up my loved ones for they were not light sleeper like me.

Love & Peace,
Q of D
 

Divine Inspiration and Co-creation

Greetings!

On Angels Day I heard 'O Come, O Come, Emmanuel'  (post published on Jan. 11, 2018)

Before that morning, this piece of music was only one of the music I knew or listened on YouTube.  As I had mentioned, I was not into lyrics of songs.  Therefore, I only knew the music was 'O Come, O Come, Emmanuel'.  The music went on and on for about an hour.  I stayed in bed for the energy field was wonderful and powerful.

Afterward, I used the computer to look up the meaning of Emmanuel.  It meant "God is with us".  I wanted to know the lyrics.  I logged onto YouTube.  The song was nice, but I did not feel resonance with the lyrics.  I liked music played by The Piano Guys.  So I listened to them playing  'O Come, O Come, Emmanuel'.  As I listened, I felt my whole being vibrated, and words began to flow in my heart.  In the following days, the music came on even when the computer was off, and words continued to come as if making a song of my own.  When I tried to voice the words, sometimes words came out beautifully, but more often than not I had a hard time singing in tune.  I let it go, and went on to do something else.  Then the right tune would suddenly come out of nowhere, and the co-creation continued.  It took some days for the music and some of the words to settle in.  Whenever the music came, I quietly sang along in my heart.  Energy around my head vibrated and so was my entire being.  I realized it was no accident that I heard the music on Angels Day.  I was very grateful for the inspiration from the angels.

This kind of experiences was not new to me.  Years ago I used to worry a lot.  When the sky was gray, so was my mood.  Seeing the night sky or dark ocean triggered fear in me.  If I was alone when these scenes came on the screen, I turned off the TV immediately.  One morning, a sentence came to my mind at the very moment I woke up.  For the next four weeks, a strong urge within caused me to expand on the sentence.  When I finished the writing, I no longer had fear looking up at the night sky or ocean.  Most of all, I seemed to worry much less than before.  (Re  Writing is Healing and On a cloudy, gloomy morning, I go looking for the sun )  A Fight against Poverty in Black and White was another experience of divine intervention or inspiration.

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Scientists, writers, poets, artists, musicians, singers, and in fact all of us received divine inspirations from time to time.  We might have an aha moment reading something.  We could hear a speech that uplifted our spirit and inspired us to take some actions.  One Sunday, the words on the church's weekly leaflet touched me deeply.  When I was home, I copied the words in my journal.

                 So Send I You (by Paul Solomon and Chris Van cleave)

                   So Send I you to do what I have done and more.

                   So Send I you to fields that are white with harvest.
                   Never was the deed so great nor the workers so few.
                   For that reason, So Send I you.

                   So Send I you and you do not go without me.
                   Wherever you are, here I will also be.
                   So Send I you to labor for me and for the world that never knew me.
                   And often will not know you.

                   So Send I you to those who are gathered here.
                   They are my people and the sheep of my pastures.
                   The good shepherd is known by his sheep,
                   So shall they know your voices.

                   Think not what you should say but boldly open your mouth.
                   And I will speak.
                   For I have sent you.
                   So Send I you.

                   So Send I you like lambs among wolves.
                   Carry neither purse nor script nor shoes.
                   Don't stop to chat along the way.
                   And whatever house you enter, bring peace there.

                   You have not chosen me, I have chosen you.
                   Those you forgive, I will forgive.
                   For I have send you.
                   So Send I you.

In my journal, I wrote:

From (my name) to Christ:

Your powerful message is received with the utmost devotion and love.  I, among the many you sent, vow to live the rest of my life to be the mouth piece of Your Words, and to be the Peace you have sent us to be.  You have carried the sheep on your shoulders, and so will I as the laborer you have sent.  Use me any way your feel fit.  Never my will but Thy Will be done in me, as me, of me and around me.      Amen. 

                                                                                      

I made a promise to myself.  I wanted to look at others with love and non-judging eyes like Jesus Christ, Buddha, Quan Yin and all the loving beings.  I also prayed that when others looked into my eyes, they would see the reflection of their own beauty - the wonderful, beautiful, loving beings that they are.

Two days later, I went to the Tuesday healing prayer service.  After the service, we used to hug each other before we left the chapel.  I practiced what I vowed.  I looked into their eyes before we hugged.  Amazingly, some of my friends looked into my eyes, and pulled me to them for a second hug!

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Can I stay in that state of being?  No.  I am not different from anybody.  I falter from time to time.  I react to situations and lose my peace.  Sometimes I doubt.  Yes, sometimes I judge myself as well as others.  Fortunately, by the Grace of God, I am always able to return to the Truth that I Am.  For this, I am grateful.

Love and Blessings,
Q of D

P.S.  As I was writing this post, I went online to look for 'So Send I You'.  I learned about the original version of the hymn.  I loved the above version by Paul Solomon and Chris Van Cleave.  The words were like words by Christ channeled through them.  There was power in those words.  However, as I wrote in my other posts, we might be watching the same movie, but each might find a different scene more touching / inspiring than the rest.  It had nothing to do with right and wrong.  All Is Well. 

My Life Is Here and Now

Greetings!

Last December, my older son drove me back to visit the state we had lived for over four and a half years.

It was not a planned trip.

Near the end of Nov., my son told me the H.R. department of the company he worked for had scheduled all the employees to take their remaining personal and vacation days before the year was over.  He knew I needed to go back to that state to close my safe deposit box account.  He offered to use one of his two personal days for the trip.

He said, "We can leave on a Saturday so that you can go to your church on Sunday.  On Monday morning, we'll go to the bank and drive home afterward.  I'll go to work on Tuesday."

I said, "I want to go there in the summer.  Winter is here.  Some states already had snow storms.  It is a 14-hour drive, and may take longer if there is snow.  Since we have to go to the bank on Monday, we will be home in the early hours of Tuesday.  I don't want you to go to work without much sleep."

He said, "I can go to work without much sleep.  I had done that before.  Are you sure some states already had snow storms?  We normally don't have snow until around Christmas."

I said, "Yes, it had snowed in some states.  You don't know about it because you do not watch the news.  I remembered clearly that one year we had snow on Sept. 30.  It is not that unusual to have snow in November around Thanksgiving Day."

He said, "Okay, it is up to you if you don't want to go."

The next day, my son called me from work.  With excitement in his voice, he said, "Mom, I am in the HR department.  They say I can take two personal days together.  (Originally, he had scheduled to have Monday off in alternate weeks.)  Now, I'll go back to work on Wed., and you don't have to worry that I may not have enough sleep.  I'll go ahead to rent a car and book a hotel.  Do you want to leave on Dec. 9?"

That is my son and his 'get it over with attitude'.  Though his call or plan caught me by surprise, I appreciated his good intention.  I said, "I do not want to encounter any storm snow.  If you really want to go there with me, I would like to leave as early as possible.  Can we leave on Dec. 2?"

On the other end of the line, he seemed to be talking to his coworker.  Then he said, "It's fine.  I'll have Monday and Tuesday off."

The drive to that state was very smooth and easy.  It was past mid-night when we arrived at the hotel.  The next morning my son drove me to the church.  Like his father, he preferred not to go inside the church with me.  I had not called my friends before I came.  They were surprised and happy to see me.  Of course, I was happy to see them again.  Though it had been a 'short' six years, we could see time had left its mark on all of us.  A few regulars at church had moved on, and some no longer came to church on Sundays.  There were some new faces.  Later, we took a walk on the beach.  It was a sunny, gorgeous day.  We did not even need to wear a jacket.  We also visited the big spiritual research center.  At night, I had dinner with a friend. 

On Monday, we went to the bank.  The staff at the bank was helpful and courteous.  The way home was quite pleasant and smooth.  A light snow began to fall near the border of the state below our state.  The roads were clear and good once we drove into our state.  My son drove to the car rental company, dropped off the car, and picked up his own car.  At home, we ate a good late dinner.  I went to bed around 2 am.  My son went to sleep much later than I did.  It was good knowing that he did not have to go to work the next morning.  He hung out with his friends the second day. 

Five or six days later, an unusual early heavy snow storm caused many problems and accidents across USA.  Seeing the heavy snow, my son said, "Mom, luckily you insisted on driving there on Dec. 2.  I could not imagine what would have happened if we . . ."  I said, "Yes, I am very grateful that everything went well on the trip."

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2012 was quite a year.  On Jan. 14, I joined a spiritual order, and looked forward to live a more active life.  (Re The Grace of Good Intention )  However, our older son had always wanted to move back to the state where he was born and grew up.  In the second half of Jan., a company near our home state offered him a short term contract job.  He gladly accepted and reported to his job soon after.  Meanwhile, my husband was not well.  He had been depressed since the restaurant years.  As much as I enjoyed living in that state, I knew the move would be good for my husband.  I was happy for our son because it was a step towards what he wanted (i.e. to move back to the home state).  Furthermore, we could visit our younger son and his family more often since it would be a 6-hour drive instead of 14-hour.  Therefore, I was at peace with the move.  (Re Life is as God is - Turbulence is a life force )

Days and nights, I tried to pack everything.  Since my husband was not well, I did not want to close the safe deposit box and carry the stuff with us.  Several months later, our son got a job in the home state.  My husband and I moved back here near the end of July, 2012. 

After we moved back, I had talked to my family about the safe deposit box.  In later days, my husband said he was too old to drive that far again.  (In 2007, other than stops for gas, he drove all the way to that state without any rest.)  Years went by.  My loved ones had their plans of how to spend their vacations.  I did not want to impose on them that they must drive me there.  When my son offered to drive me there, I was nicely surprised for I thought he had forgotten about it.

What comes out of this trip?

Some days after the trip, I decided it was time to let go of the past.  I was grateful we had safe and smooth rides back and forth.  The weather was exceptionally nice during those few days.  I was happy to see my friends.   However, it was truly a long drive to get there.  The safe deposit box matter had been taken care of.  I did not anticipate driving there again in the coming years. 

My life is here and now.  Spring will soon be here.  I can't wait to see how life will unfold in 2018.

Peace and Love,
Q of D