The Power Outage and the Refrigerator

Greetings!

It had been three months since I published my last post 2007 The year of many changes.  I knew I should continue to write about the darkest *** of night in 2008, but found myself unfocused to do what I should do.  I tried to write by recalling what had happened.  It did not go well.  Meanwhile, I often ran into 'page unresponsive' while using the old desktop computer for blogging.  (I used it for blogging because of the big screen.)  Eventually, I let weeks and months go by.   

Most mornings I went for a walk in the school field.  Since the day I suddenly wanted to capture the magnificence of the sun , I always brought my pocket size Fuji camera with me.  It had been a nice summer, and I had taken some wonderful pictures particularly of the sun during June.  I captured big, globe like images surrounding the sun in broad daylight.  These images could be nothing special, and might just be the reflections of the sun.  However, Lens flare or not, pictures of the sun / nature give me joy .  I hope to share some of the pictures with you in the future.

One morning in late August, I stood in my favorite spot in the school field enjoying the light summer breeze and appreciating the beauty of nature.  Suddenly, two past experiences came to my mind.  

I recalled the time my husband and I went to the newly constructed city park for the first time.  I had wanted to see white birds / seagulls flying above the body of water.  I wondered aloud why there was none in sight.  My husband explained that I should not have expected to see seagulls over the artificially made body of water in the park.  In disappointment, I closed my eyes and said in my heart, "But, I have come to see the white birds!"  Then some white birds came.  Soon a lot of white birds came, and put on a spectacular show flying gracefully above the body of water.  As I watched, the feeling of awe and gratitude vibrated throughout my entire being.   (Re Stories of birds, bees and other signs from the divine )

Then I remembered one afternoon in late 2003.  It was a cold, windy and cloudy day.  I was supposed to go to the bank and then come back to the restaurant.  I started the car, but I just sat there.  My heart was heavy. 

A few days earlier, a car sped out of a side street and hit our son's car.  Luckily, our son was not hurt, but his car was wrecked.  His auto insurance did not cover car rental, and we did not have the money to rent a car for him.     

Earlier in the morning, we drove our son to work.  He worked in an office that was about an hour and a half from where we lived.  The round trip took us 3 hours, and we came back to the restaurant just in time to open up.  Since we had to take care of the restaurant, I told my son to talk to his coworkers.  I wanted him to find out if anyone lived in nearby cities and would kindly give him a ride home.  My son was new on the job, and I understood it was an uneasy situation for him.  Around noon, my son called.  He said none of his coworkers lived near where we lived.  I told him not to worry.  I said we might be late, but we would pick him up.  I knew he got off work around 4 p.m.  I talked to my husband about closing up the restaurant an hour or two early to pick up our son.  We usually closed at 10 or 10:30 p.m.  Most of the time, there was not much business after 8:30 p.m.  My husband did not seem to care.  He flatly said 'No', and asked me to tell our son to stay in a restaurant to wait for us.  I was upset at his response.  How could we asked our son to stay in a restaurant for so many hours?  I did not call my son.

Sitting inside the car, I thought of my son.  I lowered my head and prayed, "Please let there be earth angels to help my son."  Suddenly, out of the thick, dark clouds, the sun came out and shone at me brightly and lovingly.  I said, "I love you Sun."  I looked at the clock.  It was 2:22 p.m.  At that moment, I knew my prayer had been heard, and everything was going to be alright. 

Around 4 p.m., my son called to let me know that he was home!  His boss / manager had to go to a plant in a city near where we lived, and offered to drive our son home.  He also picked up our son the next day because he had to visit that plant again early in the morning.  My son got an apartment in the city where he worked.  His coworkers picked him up and drove him back to his apartment until he got another car.  (Re In time of darkness, light always shines through )    

I usually stood in that spot in the school field enjoying the peace and thinking of nothing.  I felt grateful beyond words at the time of going through those experiences, and felt even more so recalling them that morning.  I thought of all the earth angels that had kindly lent us a helping hand - my son's manager, coworkers and son's friend who volunteered to pick him up on weekends.  I thanked them and sent them my blessings.  I thanked my guides and angels for their love and support.  I thanked the Divine for the grace in my life.  I also understood it was no accident that I recalled the experiences.  While love and support were (are) ever present, I myself had been slacking off allowing weeks and months to drift by.  It was time to get back to my blog.

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There were only a few occasions that I wrote a post and published it on the same day.  It normally took me many days to finish a post.  I had to look up words that I was not sure, grammar, and links to the relevant posts.  

While I was working on this post, I kept hearing clicking sound from the refrigerator.  I talked to my son about it.  He thought the sound was normal because the refrigerator went through different cycles.  I knew the cycles stuff.  I felt something could be wrong because the sound seemed to go on throughout the day.  My son said**, as far as he knew, the sound did stop sometimes particularly at night.  Therefore, I thought I could be wrong because the refrigerator was pretty new.  The apartment maintenance team installed these refrigerators in each unit about one and a half year ago.  (** I should have realized my son's immediate response was but his assumption.  He did not pay attention to the sound around the house as I did.  I was always sensitive to sound.)

I let go of my concern about the refrigerator.  I went shopping for groceries as usual.  I was quite pleased with my shopping trips because all the things I wanted to buy were available and at very good prices.  The next day (a Friday) I wanted to have some ice cream.  I  found out there was indeed a problem with the freezer / the upper compartment of the fridge.  I went to the apartment office.  The office was about to close.  The woman employee said no refrigeration was regarded as an emergency, and asked me to call for emergency service.  (The regular maintenance men were off on weekends.)  For the next two days, I was told repeatedly over the phone that a professional technician would come to fix the refrigerator, but no one came.  At first, the lower compartment still had cool air, but the refrigerator eventually stopped working completely.  I threw away all the TV dinners, two boxes of ice cream, chicken and fish.  I wanted to save the whole English roast, beef steaks, pork butt, and shrimps that were somewhat frozen.  I asked my son to buy some ice, and he came home with two huge bags of ice.  Every four hours during day and night, I refilled the containers that held the meats and shrimps with ice.  

On Monday, I went to the office.  The head maintenance man said he had ordered a brand new refrigerator for us from Home Depot.  At noon, the refrigerator arrived.  It was a better brand than the one that broke down.  It was quiet and not noisy as the other one.  I was glad and grateful.  I thought I had saved the meats and shrimps because they looked and smelt fine.  In the afternoon, we had a severe thunderstorm, and the power went out around 6 p.m.  Over a quarter of a million families were without electricity for days.  I ended up throwing away all the meats, and practically everything (e.g. dressing, sauce and sausages) in the refrigerator.  

When the power went out that Monday evening, we thought the power would come back in a few hours.  Around midnight, my son said he would go to a fast food restaurant to order food.  He asked if I wanted to come along.  I said "Yes".  I looked around while my son was driving.  Part of the city was completely dark, and only a few cars were on the road.  Somehow, I felt peace.  The reactive emotion due to the little inconvinence in recent days totally dissipated.        

On the night that the power was restored, I joined a Zoom meeting that I had signed up some days ago.  As usual, I did not say anything.  The facilitators / moderators lived in other states of USA.  During the meeting, the host happened to talk about refrigerator.

She said she and other facilitators (of the group) came together not long ago.  One of them said a refrigerator was symbolic to our spiritual journey; once in a while we needed to empty / throw out everything, and filled it with new things; for example, we might not want to use that bottle of dressing again, yet we continued to keep it in our refrigerator; we also did not check if some of the items had passed the expiration dates; a refrigerator was symbolic to our mind and the things we held inside; many of us subconsciously held onto some of our old pain, fear, hurt, anger, sadness and other negative thought, and never let them go; thereofre, it was vital for us to empty our mind or let go of whatever that held us back once in a while, so that the new and good could enter our life.

I smiled hearing these words of wisdom.  I could not remember the exact words, but understood how true it was.  It was interesting the host happened to relate that after I just emptied my refrigerator.

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It was only until recent weeks that I took out my journals of that time in 2008.  In time of chaos, sometimes I did not write much, and left many blank pages in my notebook.  As I read my journal, I was surprised that I had actually written down many things in detail.  During that time, I felt exhausted, yet had a hard time of falling asleep.  Since I could not sleep, I must be up writing my journal.  There were many incidents of divine grace and intervention.  I was glad that I had not published a post by recalling or with 'the get it over with' attitude.

At the beginning of this post, I put *** after the darkness of night.  *** 'Darkness of night' was only an expression.  What happened in the early months of 2008 was but one of a few similar traumatic incidents that our family went through because my husband never let go of his blind belief.  I learned no matter how dark a situation might seem, it would eventually come to pass.  Life goes on.  I learned the importance of maintaining my peace.  

'It was his life, and it was up to him how to live his life' would be the title of my next post.

Many Blessings,

Q of D

2007 The Year of Many Changes

Greetings!

Continued from my previous post A look back at my journey with my husband since 2003

2007 was a year of many changes.

  

In January, I began volunteering in a soup kitchen for the homeless.

  

In February, my younger son moved out of our apartment, and moved into his own house because he was going to get married in July.

  

Near the end of March, I went to a 2-day healing workshop.  Upon learning that I had learned a healing art, the teacher of the Thursday Circle who was now also the owner of the center asked me to be the on-site healer on Wednesdays.  I knew the other on-site healers were long time professional healers.  I felt unqualified, and tried to get out of it.  The teacher said I did not see what she saw of me.  She insisted Wednesday was mine as long as I wanted to be there.  As a result, I was at the center every Wednesday from April to August until I moved to another state.  I am eternally grateful for her love and encouragement.  

Due to the slow economy in our state, our older son was laid off in April.

After learning a healing art, I had a few wonderful experiences in May and June.  For instance, while taking a walk in a park, tremendous energy moved me to walk to a tree and give healing.  It was only then I saw part of the tree was black, i.e. part of the tree had been stricken by lightning.  On another occasion, I was at a festival, the healing energy guided me to cleanse the negative energy around a tent.  (Re My experiences as a channel of spiritual healing energy)  Later in June, a cup of boiling hot coffee spilt onto the right side of my lower body.  In shock, I totally forgot to pray or call out for healing.  (Re  Two consecutive stories of healing - The Hot Coffee Incident and The Healing in the Washroom )  My husband was with me in these experiences.  He feared for my safety in the festival incident.  As for the hot coffee incident, we both looked at the door when it suddenly swung open.  He felt the air moved as if someone rushed in too.  He was relieved that my pain was lifted, but did not say anything afterward.  That night I went to bed with a heart full of gratitude.  I did not know I would be an instrument of healing the next day. 

Early July, my older son got a job offer from a local corporation.  On the same day, a recruiter called.  He had arranged a phone interview for my son with an out of state corporation.  My son declined because he already had a job offer.  The recruiter said it would make him looked bad, and asked my son to do him a favor by going through the phone interview.  To put a long story short, everything was in the divine plan.  (Re The Prophetic Dream of Moving - Story 1 )

The whole family went through a lot of emotions in July of 2007.  A day before our younger son's wedding rehearsal, our older son got the call that he was hired by the company in another state.  After the call, he came to ask for my opinion if he should stay or accept the out of state job.  My older son had always said he wanted to stay where he was born, and did not want to work in other states.  Though I had come to realize a divine plan was unfolding, I did not want to influence his choice in any way.  I said, "I have no opinion.  It is your life.  You are in control.  It is your decision to make."  It was a shock to my younger son on his wedding rehearsal that we would soon move to another state.  I loved both of my sons dearly and equally.  For years, we lived closely as a family of four.  I was happy for my younger son that he had found the one he loved, but had never expected we would soon lived over 700 miles apart.

Despite of the emotions brought forth by the situation, our son and daughter-in-law's wedding was beautiful, joyous and memorable.  When they said their vows, their love for each other touched our hearts and those that came.  Earlier in the afternoon, I knew some people saw me as weird or irrational.  However, I was very much at ease with my way of being.  Later, we were in the car on our way to the wedding.  My husband rarely expressed joyful emotion openly.  That afternoon he let out a big, big smile with two thumbs up as he witnessed the sudden change of scenery (or weather) as I had said.  (Please view my post The sun will shine and the wind will calm down ) 

My husband and I arrived in the other state in the second half of August 2007.  Though the teacher of the Thursday Circle had hinted that I might go through the darkest of night (period of darkness), I felt hopeful towards the future.  I saw the move as a new beginning.  I thought living in a new place might help my husband to put the past behind him, and lived with vigor.  For a while he seemed to be doing better, but soon went back to his practice.

I believed it was either in late August or early September that the teacher of healing called me to meet her in a restaurant.  She was on her way back to her home state which was near the state I lived.  She had held healing workshops in different states.  She encouraged me to become a professional healer.  She said two traveling Unity ministers (a couple) who had learned the healing modality from her would be at a Unity Church the coming Sunday, and asked me to meet up with them.  She thought the three of us (the 2 ministers and me) could offer healing after Sunday service.  The two ministers were there on their own agenda, and what the teacher had hoped did not happen.  At Unity, a mother and daughter who were both mediums talked to me.  Later, they told me I should go to another church.  They felt that church was right for me.  The following Sunday they gave me the address of the small church which I eventually called my spiritual home.  

My spirit guide had said the real beauty of life is what you do not know .  How true it was!  How likely that one went to a church and two people there told her another church was right for her?  Many of us failed to recognize the synchronicities, beauty, and wonders in life.  I paid attention, and my heart was constantly filled with awe and gratitude for the touches of the divine.   

On the last Sunday of September 2007, I went to the small church for the first time.  I was surged with energy as soon as I walked into the chapel.  The service had already started.  People were standing and singing.  A kind gentleman came to stand next to me, and shared with me the hymn book.  It turned out he was the speaker on that Sunday.  (He was also the pastor that gave me the DVD of the healing service in A beautiful pink fish on the back of a white dove )  

Other than the small church, I continued to go to the Unity church about once every four or five weeks.  On Nov. 25, 2007, I had planned to go to Unity, but I 'got' that I should go to the small church.  It turned out to be an interesting day during which I met two strangers that came from a southern state.  One of them was a healer and a messenger for Archangel Metatron.  Below were the posts about this encounter published in Jan. and Feb. of 2013. 

    

Part one - I said 'No'' three times on this Sunday

Part two - Archangel Metatron and the healing session

Part three - It is in the not knowing that makes life intriguing

In the car, the woman suddenly said something out of nowhere: "You always think your husband is very important (in your life), but he is not."  I was shocked.  I had not said anything about my husband.  It reminded me of the reading in March, 2006.  Near the end of the reading, the psychic medium said, "You always think you need your husband, but you don't need him.  He doesn't want to drive you, or he doesn't support what you want to do.  It means nothing.  You can go where you want to go and do what you want to do."   

If you have been reading my blog, you know I often did not know how to respond when people particularly strangers said something about me out of nowhere.  I could have asked questions, but did not.  I ended up feeling very unsettled afterward.  There was one time that I actually prayed to see that person again so that I could ask why she said what she said. (Re The Lesson of Importance )

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Did I think my husband was very important?

When I had the Dec. 2001 phone reading by a known angel channel, I did not understand why I was told that if I wanted a loving relationship, I should not fixate on anybody, and should simply think what a loving relationship was.  After the reading, I broke down and cried.  I thought it hinted that my husband might die.  (About the background of the reading, please view Seeing the birds, I had no doubt God had given me the sign and Do you really mean what you pray for? )  

When the business did not prosper as he had hoped, my husband felt angry about life.  He looked back at his old pains such as losing his mother as a child, his father in his teen and the brother that loved him was wrongly executed during the Cultural Revolution.  He felt life had not treated him fair.  In his negative state of being, he blocked the problems he was supposed to handle.  Sometimes he acted distant.  Sometimes he said angry words.

I was a simple Chinese woman.  I did not condone the way he handled himself, but I understood how he felt.  He was the father of our sons.  He had worked hard all his life.  He did not spend money on himself.  He was headstrong, but he loved his family in his own way.  Therefore, I prayed earnestly for his wellbeing after the reading.  I did not want him to leave this world feeling all bitter toward life.  My husband worried a lot about money.  Sons were in college, and better days were ahead.  I felt blessed as a mother, and it was my hope that my husband would have a new perspective of life in the days to come.

After the reading in Dec. 2001, I thought I had prayed according to the guidance.  For years I continued to live in uncertainty.  I thought my prayers were not heard.  It was only until one day in June of 2006 that I realized how contradictory my prayers were.  (Re Do you really mean what you pray for? published in 2012)

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Around Christmas 2007, my younger son and his wife drove to visit us for a few days.  We were so happy to see one another.  We went to see the display of Christmas lights by the ocean.  Looking at my loved ones, my heart was filled with joy and gratitude.

But, in less than two months, we would go through the darkest of night as the teacher of the Thursday Circle had foretold.

Peace and Love,

Q of D

  

A Look Back at my journey with my husband since 2003

Greetings!

In January 2003, my husband followed the pictures and instructions in the Chinese newspaper to learn a practice.  Soon he was addicted to the practice just as those people in China who were imprisoned again and again because they could not stop practicing.  (Re Part 5 - The background of my husband''s problem ) 

My husband had not read any spiritual book, and did not know the term automatic writing.  When he looked at what came through him in writing, he was in awe.  He believed the master was truly communicating with him.  It deepened his faith in the super power of the master.  He said the master taught him advanced moves and chose him to teach others.  He felt honored that the master had chosen him.  Despite of the fact that his source failed the test badly and had been proven wrong in later events, my husband never let go of his blind belief in a master he only read about in the newspaper.  (Re In time of darkness, light always shines through )

On May 26, 2005, I finally stepped outside of my family to socialize with other people.  I joined a spiritual circle that met every Thursday morning.  I was happy to sit among my friends who loved and supported me unconditionally.  Meanwhile, my husband was in a similar state as he was in 2003.  He did not look well at all, yet he himself believed he was in good health because of his practice.  He would not listen to what we said.  Seeing how he was, I could not help but worried.

One day when the circle was over, my worries finally pushed me to talk to a friend who had shown amazing psychic gifts.  Though I had been with the circle for a few months, I seldom spoke up, and of course, had not talked about my husband's problem.  I simply told my friend I was very worried about my husband, and wondered if he would be alright.  For a while, she seemed to take in the images she saw psychically.  She said my husband had not obtained the peace that I had, and that was why he grabbed onto something to maintain his peace.  She talked very fast to relate what she saw.  Her words were precise and accurate.  I did not ask more questions.  I thanked her and left.  My friend's words already helped me to look at my husband's problem from a new perspective.  My husband was bitter about life.  It was true he did not feel peace. 

A few days later, the owner of the center called me.  She gave me the friend's phone number, and asked me to call her.  She said the friend had been very worried about me.  It seemed the friend held a channeling session hoping for answers for me, and something dark / horrifying came through.  I called, but the friend did not say much.  She probably did not want me to worry. 

The following Thursday I drove to the center.  As I walked in, I saw a known on-site reader had come.  There were other healers and psychics too.  (The owner of the center and the teacher of the circle were exceptional psychics.)  Though the circle went on as usual, I could sense I was the reason they came.  They all looked at me with lots of love and compassion.  Finally, I decided to speak up.  I thanked them for their love.  I talked for quite a while about my husband and me.  I said I had learned no matter what happened - All Is Well.  I asked my friends not to worry about me.  My friends listened.  They said I should know that they were always there to love and support me no matter what would happen.  

I truly did not want my friends to worry.  In order to do so, I knew I must be the one to let go of my worry for my husband first.  Was it easy to do so?  No.  However, I understood each one of us was responsible for our own life, and my husband was responsible for how he lived his life.  I might hold the space for him, but understood no one could learn life lessons for another.

By the grace of the Divine, my husband got a call from the mother of a former boss.  The elderly woman and her son had treated my husband with respect when he worked for them.  The woman asked my husband to go to help her son-in-law who owned a restaurant in a city not too far away.  After selling the business, my husband had said he did not want to work anymore.  However, since the woman had treated him with respect, my husband promised to work there until her son-in-law found permanent help.  For some months, my husband could not spend all his time on the practice because he had to work.  It did not last long because my husband honestly told the son-in-law 'No' when he offered him the job.  However, the divine grace had helped.  During the time he worked, he regained some strength and looked healthier than before.  Afterward, he did go to help in restaurants during weekends once in a while when his friends really needed temporary help.

In August 2007, we moved to another state because our older son found a job there.  Before the move, I was at the circle for the last time.  I remembered that day clearly.  As usual, the teacher started the circle by saying something she got during her meditation.  It usually lasted for about 15 minutes.  (I assumed it was the case during my two years with the circle.  She never mentioned who the words were for.  In my experience, what she said could be for one or two of us.  Sometimes she said the message was for all of us.)  She said something like this one had blossomed into a beautiful flower, but would soon go through the darkest of night.  At the end, she said "Be Bold! Be Bold! Be Bold! Persevere! Persevere! Persevere!"  Sitting there, I was sure she was talking to me.  In my 2001 Dec. reading by an angel channel, the guidance also told me to be bold or there was boldness within me that needed to be expressed.  (The teacher had told me the city / state we moved to would be where I spent the last phase of my life.  I had to look into my journal if that was in the same message or a message a week earlier.)

The words "would go through the darkest of night" did not strike any fear in me.  At the time, I knew the move was very much in divine order.  (Re The prophetic dream of moving - story 1 )  Just as I had told my friends not to worry in 2005, I had my mind set the move would be good for all of us.  I was looking forward to a new beginning.

                                            ~       to be continued      ~

Next post 2007 The Year of Many Changes