WHAT IS OUR FOCUS - Part 2

Greetings!

We bought a new modem and router combo.  The internet connection was excellent in the beginning.  Since then, there had been interruptions.  Luckily, most of the interruptions did not last long.  Sometimes I did have to unplug and restart everything.  A while back, the internet connection was lost while I was on zoom, and it took me 25 minutes to rejoin the meeting.  

 

                                            ~       ~       ~       ~      ~       ~ 

I got the title 'What is our focus' two days before I finished my post Incredible Coincidence of Releasing Frustration .  

For many months, my friends were into prophecies of catastrophic earth changes.  They read books and invited speakers on this subject.  They eventually began to stock up necessities so that they could help other people when disasters hit.  Reading their emails, I thought my friends had misplaced their focus.  I thought we should focus in the now instead of worrying about what might happen.  Above all, as a spiritual group, I believed we should not spread words that might cause fear.  Therefore, I found the title 'what is our focus' that came through to be relevant.  

As mentioned in WHAT IS OUR FOCUS - Part 1, the situation had resolved by itself when the host read a book on Jesus in which Jesus said to live in the now instead of worrying about the future.  As a result, my friends' focus on what were to come and on stocking up necessities had stopped.

Now that the internet was stable, I wanted to work on part 2 of What Is Our Focus, but soon realized I did not know how to go about writing the post.

Many spiritual teachers / masters had written books, and had given talks on how to live our life.  They had taught about the importance of living in the now.   Nowadays, we could watch videos of their teachings/lectures online in the ease of our home.  In this lifetime, I was a simple, ordinary Chinese woman.  I read stories of other people's spiritual journey, but was not interested in reading about spiritual laws/theories.  What could I write about 'what is our focus'?  Weeks and months went by.  I tried to forego writing 'What is our focus - part 2', but the title stayed with me.    One day it came to me that I could share some of my personal experiences.

                                            ~       ~       ~       ~       ~       ~  

In life, we went through numerous situations.  We had different personalities, did not think alike, and handled situations differently.  We might go through the same/similar situation, but each one of us might come out of the situation with a different view/version of the experience.  No two persons on earth had the exact life story, and everyone's life was unique in one's own way.   

In Life Must Be Experienced , we had a power outage.  Without electricity, I decided to use the time to throw away old mails, newspaper clippings, and old magazines.  At one point, I prayed for power to be restored by 10 p.m.  Then I remembered we should always add "not my will, but Thy will be done."  Right after these words came out of my mouth, the sound of the TV came on.  I turned to look at the TV.  Evening news was on, and the time was 6:26 p.m.  I stood there in awe of what happened.  Many might not feel how I felt when they went through similar incidents;  they thought those incidents simply happened by chance.  There was no right or wrong in how one felt.   As for me, these coincidences often brought me joy and the sense of wonder/magic that helped me see life in a new light.  (e.g. Stories of Birds, Bees, and other signs from the Divine and Recognizing Moments of Wonder/Magic is a blessing to ourselves )

                                            ~       ~       ~       ~       ~       ~      

                                          WHAT IS OUR FOCUS                                        

Many years ago while I was struggling with life challenges, I asked my guides and angels how to live my life.  Below were their words of wisdom - 

"Life is like a sea, its ebb and rise are constant.  It is the mental view of self that sees it differently.  Everything is in perfect order as is.  What we want you to do now is to be more outright in the front.  State how you want your life to be.  You have always planned your life as if you are responsible for everyone.  No, you are only responsible for yourself.  In being responsible for your own well-being, you influence others in a way that is much more than what you can perceive.  Don't spend too much energy wishing how the others will be or to be.  In doing so, you are not allowing others to learn their lessons.  You can ask or pray that they learn their lessons with ease and grace, but not the way you think things would be or should be."

It was true that I had always focused on the well-being of my loved ones.  I was not alone.  In a healing workshop, most of my friends found it easier to give love than to accept love.  We were daughters, sisters, mothers, and aunts in the family structure.  We were used to take care, comfort, and nurture others.  (Re Giving and Receiving Love Must be Balanced )  A sister in an energy healing share gathering in 2007 was a good example.  She had learned many healing modalities.  She worked in a hospital's children department.  At work, she loved and comforted all the children the best she could.  She had no children of her own.  She showered her nieces and nephews with love and gifts.  She took great care of her aging parents.  Her voice was gentle.  As we listened, we could feel her genuine love for others. When I worked on her, powerful and joyful energy came through.  Meanwhile, I kept getting the message "Tell her that she is very, very loved."  (FYI I rarely got any message during healing sessions.)  The message did not make any sense to me.  She was such a loving person; of course, she was very, very loved.  When it was my turn to share what I got, I decided to share the message 'as is'.  She showed no reaction to the message.  Later, we took a break to have lunch.  During that time, the sister told us some more about how she loved and took care of others.  Then she said she never felt she was loved.  She was so focused in giving love, and did not realize she was very loved.  (Please also view Her face was bright with light; she said she saw Jesus )

Writing this post made me realize that I had not paid enough attention to my focus while I went through situations in life.  I would like to share with you the Thou shalt provide experience.  

It happened during the challenging restaurant years.  Our sons attended different universities.  Our family had only one old car.  In other words, our sons did not have a car.  We drove to see them every few weeks.  I always brought food and frozen meals for them.  I bought those frozen meals when they were on sale in stores, e.g. buy one get one free.  

For days I noticed the tube of facial cleaner was about to run out.  Business had been extremely slow.  A new tube of cleaner only cost a few dollars, but I would rather use the money to buy two boxes of frozen meals for sons.  

One morning, nothing came out of the tube no matter how hard I squeezed it or pressed it against my other hand.  There I was holding the tube and feeling somewhat depressed.  Suddenly, the little child in me thought: it was said Thou shalt provide.  I held the tube with both of my hands in a prayer position, and prayed.  Afterward, I squeezed the tube.  I was all smiles seeing a dab of lotion fell onto my other hand.  It was not watery.  It was a normal dab of lotion.  I joyfully and gratefully thanked the loving divine.

I did the same thing on the second day, i.e. I prayed and a dab of lotion came out.  On the third day, I began to doubt.  I thought there might still be bits of lotion here and there inside, and what happened was nothing magical.  I shook and squeezed the tube, but nothing came out.   I held the tube in my hands, and prayed wholeheartedly again.  A dab of lotion came out.  I stood there in awe and gratitude.     

I did not recall how long this went on.  It was probably about 6 to 7 days.  One morning, with the tube of lotion in my hand, I looked into the mirror.  I was swelled with gratitude for this incredible experience.  Meanwhile, I felt it was time to move on and buy a new one.  I threw away the tube.  I felt free and peaceful.  

At the time, my focus was on the lack because we struggled to pay bills.  With the wrong focus, a few dollars seemed like a big deal.  If my mind was clear, I would see it really did not matter how I spent the few dollars; my sons would be fine and I would be too.  It was through grace that I decided to move on and buy a new tube of lotion when I looked at the mirror.  There was no reasoning going on in my mind.

                                            ~       ~       ~       ~       ~       ~

As I was writing, I 'got' that - A lot of times, our sufferings were like that.  We dwelt in the emotions that kept us down/stuck, e.g. worries, pain, hurt, anger, sorrow, sadness, guilt, shame, resentment, feeling lack / not enough, not being loved and etc.  We held onto those emotions as if they were part of us.  For instance, some people continued to live in the shadow of bad experiences that happened decades ago; some lived in sadness after a loved one died such as I was after my mother passed away. (Re Happy Mother's Day to all the loving mothers and grandmothers.)  We failed to realize that we were hurting ourselves when we held onto those unwholesome emotions. 

During the challenging years, I worried a lot.  One morning, I looked at the me in the mirror.  I suddenly realized how much I had aged!  My eyelashes were almost gone or sparsely visible.  The hair on my eyebrows was thin and sparse.  I had lost some teeth.  One of my front teeth was broken and the remaining portion was black / badly discolored.  It was a wakeup call for me to take care of myself! I loved my sons, and wanted to be there for them.  (Re Who Smiles? Who Sees? )

Fortunately, I eventually learned that I was not alone.  In the last quarter of 1999, I found myself being awoken to see 4:44 a.m. again and again.  Later, I happened to see 444 quite often such as cars with 444 license plates, 4:44 p.m., and invoices with the number 444.  One morning in the early hours, I heard a man's voice saying one strange sentence loud and clear.  I had many inexplicable experiences of the loving divine too.  In order to find answers, I began to borrow spiritual books from the library.  From books, I learned our spirit guides and angels were with us, and 444 meant the Power of God's Love.  Two years later, I booked a phone reading with a known angel channel who lived in another state.  (I had written many posts about incidents that led up to the reading.  Please view Seeing the birds, I had no doubt God had shown me the sign )  I had those strange experiences because my guides and angels wanted to shake me out of the rut.  Their loving presence and wisdom made a huge difference in my life.  For examples - 

• My guide's timely intervention helped me greatly in my relationship with my older son.   (Re Love! Love! Love! Just love him and nothing else. Simply love him )  During a few small gatherings, I had shared this experience.  In later days, some people told me what I shared had helped them when they found themselves in a difficult situation/relationship.  When they changed their view of the person/situation, the outcome changed too.   
• One night I was filled with negative emotion dwelling over the situations we were in.  Suddenly, I heard 'you can be happy no matter what'.  
• On another occasion, I felt pain thinking about my relationship, and my guide said  You feel pain because you let pain be . 

I could not take in what my guide said right away.  I thought 'In the situation I was in, how can I be happy?'  It was also hard for me to accept that 'I feel pain because I let pain be'.  It took me years to realize that his guidance was invaluable.

Many of us knew/might agree that we were responsible for our actions, i.e. what we chose to do / not to do and its consequence.  However, we might not have realized that it was also our responsibility to take care of our own well-being that included our physical, emotional, and mental well-being.  For example, my sons cared about my health, and suggested for me to exercise more. I always said I was not the exercise type.  I saw others easily picked up a 24-pack of bottled water.  I knew I might be able to do the same if I exercised regularly, but held onto the thought / excuse that I was not the exercise type.  When it came to my emotional / mental well-being, I used to think it was natural / normal for me to worry / feel pain because of the situations / relationship I was in.  I recalled one day my younger son, seeing how worried I was, asked me, "Mom, does it help to worry?  If it doesn't help, why worry?"  I agreed worrying did not seem to help, but found it hard to get out of my old pattern/worrying mode that I was used to.   

Edgar Cayce, the Sleeping Prophet, had also said 'why worry since we can pray' during one of his channeled readings.  (In 2004/5, I went to a small psychic fair.  The host said those who came had a chance to win one of three donated prizes.  My name was drawn!  I won a thick book (used) - The Edgar Cayce Collection, Four Volumes in One.  I had been a member of A.R.E. in recent years.  I had won The Grand Prize (a $100 gift certificate) and the 2nd Reading and other prizes when I went to spiritual events.  Looking back, it was not simply luck; it was the encouragement from the loving divine.  I am deeply grateful.)        

Earlier, I had mentioned that I could not take in my guide's words right away.  However, his timely advice on those occasions had an effect on me.  (Throughout the years, I only heard his voice a few times.)  

When I found myself in a negative mood, I thought of his words.  It caused me to pause my negative reactive emotion to a situation / a person, and looked at what happened from different perspectives.  I took responsibility when I found myself to be part of a misunderstanding.  (e.g. Let Us Start from Ground Zero )  When I saw no fault on my part, I tried *** to let the whole thing go.  In other words, I began to pay attention to my state of being, and took responsibility of my emotional well-being.  (*** I used the word 'tried' because letting go was a lesson in life that was not as easy as it sounded.  Sometimes it took time to truly let go, and we had to be patient with ourselves as well as with others.)

From my observation, there were many underlying conditions in additional to one's personality that caused some people to appear rude/mean/hostile.  For instance, some bullies might hold something within that they did not feel good about themselves or might feel less/inferior to others in certain aspect; they bullied others in order to have that false sense of power and superiority.  In some cases, it could be  a repeat of a cycle.  For example, in  To forgive is first and most of all for the good of ourselves , a woman felt unloved and rejected by her mother as a child because her mother only loved her brother; when she became a mother, she could not show any affection toward her daughter.

As I became more observant of my reaction, I gradually learned not to take things personally because what happened before me might not reflect the whole truth.  (If you have time, please view Sometimes what we assume can be far from the truth )  I also realized my thought / what I held in my mind was indeed important.  For instance, I still worried once in a while; since I paid attention to my thought, I knew to replace it with positive affirmations; sometimes I had fun projecting good outcome too.  In Is our thought a secret known only to ourselves , I sensed the cashier's irritation.  I thought, "Oh!  No.  The cashier is in a negative mood."  Right then, another thought rose to counter my first thought, "Of course, she feels irritated because she has been busy all day.  I should change my view of her.  I should be understanding, and should look at her with love."  I looked at the cashier with love and understanding.  At that very moment, she looked in my direction and let out a broad smile.  Everything Is Energy, and so is our thought.  It was said new thought replaced old thought, and good thought replaced bad thought.  How true!  This incident corroborated what my guide said 'In being responsible for our own well-being, we can influence others in a way that is much more than what we can perceive.'  

 

As regards to our physical well-being, I found this entry in one of my old journal.  I had shared it in my post  Why are some people born with a life crippling condition?   

We always associate healing with one's physical well-being, but it is not necessary the case.  There are healing in many levels.  One may come into this life with a physical challenge that may never be healed because it may be a choice he made.  Healing can take place among his loved ones while taking care of him.  Or, he may have chosen the physical challenge to have an experience. Instead of totally dismantled because of his illness, he accepts, prospers, and lives a good life. 

As human beings, most of us have experienced discomfort and illness.  Our thoughts matter in all situations.  It helps to remind us to have a positive attitude.  In my experience, the attitude of gratitude helps me a lot as I go through life's situations.  Furthermore, look at others with love and compassion.  Love, and love freely.  Don't dwell in our own misery.  If we think our life is miserable, we are not alone because many people are suffering too; it is in giving love, we receive love; and, know that life is not only livable, but lovable and wonderful. 

                                            ~       ~       ~       ~       ~       ~ 

After I finished sharing the Thou Shalt Provide experience, another experience came to my mind.  It also happened during the restaurant years. 

I went to a store to buy something for the restaurant.  That day was my husband's lunar birthday.  (Many older Chinese like my husband and me remembered/celebrated our birthdays according to the lunar calendar.  Oriental stores sold Chinese calendars in the beginning of a new year.  We celebrated our sons' birthdays according to western calendar.)  

In the old days, only birthdays of the older generations such as great grandparents or grandparents were important and sometimes celebrated with a feast. (Re I was nicknames the Queen of Dreams)  My husband had always said there was no need to celebrate his birthday.  He said he rarely remembered his birthday, i.e. when he was single.  (He was not into remembering our birthdays, but always went along with me to buy gifts for sons' birthdays.)  Despite of what he said, I never forgot his birthday.  He said he did not want any Christmas present as well.  We always bought him gifts, and saw him smile when he opened his gifts.  

I saw lobsters were on sale.  My husband loved seafood.  Despite of the money situation, I decided to buy two lobsters to celebrate his birthday.  At the checkout counter, I was all smiles when the cashier told me the total was $33.33!  (333 or 3333 is the ascended masters' number.)  My heart was filled with joy.  When I walked by the lottery counter near the entrance/exit, I decided to buy a $2 instant ticket.  Later, I found out it was a $50 winner!                                            

In this incident, I chose to look beyond the lack.  In a joyful mood, I bought a $2 instant lottery ticket which turned out to be a $50 winner.  In retrospect, it was another Thou Shalt Provide experience for $50 was more than enough to cover $33.33!

                                            ~       ~       ~       ~       ~       ~ 

Finally, this post is finished!  

Wherever you are, do something that brings you joy.  In love and joy we connect.

Many blessings,

Q of D