Greetings!
From the July 12 email, I learned the spiritual teacher was going to deliver his discourses in his language near the end of July and in English a few weeks later; each lasted for a week, and all were welcome to attend both discourses. The schedule was similar to that of 2016 and 2017. Some of my friends attended both discourses even though they did not speak the teacher's language. They wanted to stay in his presence as much as they could.
Before the start of the discourses in the teacher's language, I received an email that all were welcome to attend. I did not go. In previous years, I only attended the discourses in English.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
In the evening of August 2, our son drove us to look for a car after he got off work. On Aug. 3, we picked up a good used car. (Re I can go places and sit among people again! ) On Aug.4, my phone rang. My friends sent me a message asking if I was in town. I was surprised for they had not done that before. I realized the teacher had probably intuitively known I now had a reliable car. I thought of the dream I had. I did not know what to do, and did not respond to the message right away.
When I used the computer on Aug. 5, I found out my friends had sent me an email on Aug. 4 informing me that the teacher was going to hold a special gathering and energy transmission three days later; it would be an auspicious occasion and opportunity that we should not miss. (I did not check my emails everyday.)
My sons assured me that there was no difference in driving my old 2001 car and the newer model car that we bought. I knew myself. It would take me some days to sit in the car as a passenger before I felt comfortable enough to go anywhere by myself. The special gathering was going to take place at night as the monthly meeting, and I had not driven anywhere at night for over eight months. Most of all, the decision I made some months ago was not a hastened one. I had thought long and hard.
It was no accident I went to the June 18, 2016 gathering during which I met the two healers from another state as well as others that lived locally. Everything that happened was very much in the divine plan. For instance, many men were in the 2017 spiritual retreat; it was interesting that Matthew happened to be the only one that was born in the year that I had that strange dream. (Re A Strange Dream , The Mystery of A Twin Sister Continues , Why I had to sign my name before he was to reincarnate and The Divine had its way of revealing to me )
The teacher said it was vital for us to surrender totally to the two masters that had moved on. On a few occasions, people had asked if they could continue their religious practice or worship the ones they used to worship. We were told we could if we chose to. However, we were often reminded that the two masters were very powerful beings especially the female master. She was not any other divine mother energy, but the one and only universal mother energy that had ever incarnated on earth. As we surrendered, she would watch over us, guide us and protect us.
I did not know the truth.
As a group, I understood the importance of moving forth with one goal and one mind. In our monthly meetings, my friends were really into reading the book series and worshiping the masters. I held a different view about worship. As human beings, we tended to differentiate and compare, e.g. who was powerful, who was more powerful and who was the most powerful. It caused separation. For example, some Christians thought they were far better than others because they followed Jesus Christ; it was the same with some people of other faith. In my understanding, I believed the awakened ones such as Buddha and Christ did not intend for us to worship them. They loved and supported us on our spiritual journey. They wanted us to emulate them to seek the truth within for they knew we were (are) one.
When I happened to re-read my May dream on June 18, I was surprised because I had completely forgotten about the dream. (Re the dream, please view A Hard Decision - Part Three ) I could not surrender to the masters as my friends did, and had stopped reading the books. I thought there was no way the teacher wanted me to lead the group.
When I received the email about the special gathering and energy transmission, I thought of the dream again. I had a different view about worship, but it did not mean my friends' way of being was wrong. We were all subject to our own views. I did not feel the need to impose my view on other people. That was why I was normally quiet sitting among people. On the occasions I felt compelled to speak up, the strong push within was hard to describe. Fortunately, I was now more at ease when I chose to speak up. In many ways, I admired the dedication of my friends towards the mission. I had no doubt the special gathering was an auspicious occasion. However, I would not go there because of the energy transmission except I was ready to be one with the group.
After contemplation, I knew I was not going to read the books for the time being. With my different view, I did not want to be a divisive presence among my friends. I emailed my friends about my struggle in following the teacher's guidance. I told them I had decided it was better for the group to move forth with one heart and one mind without me. I thanked them for their warmth and kindness. I also expressed my love and respect to the teacher and the two masters. (In my heart, I truly loved and respected all of them.) They emailed me saying "We hold very high regard for you and your elevated soul. Surrender comes slowly and steadily. Misunderstanding or conflict with our belief system could be the source of delay. This can be avoided by proper understanding and open dialogue. Love you forever. Hope to see you soon." It was a wise and kind response. However, I had made my decision.
I did not go to the special gathering or the discourses in English. I did not receive any more emails from my friends. The teacher had probably returned to his country after his birthday in September. On his birthday, I mentally wished him a happy birthday, and talked to him that I never meant any disrespect in not attending his discourses. I made the choice from where I was at. A realized teacher that he was, I knew he understood.
I went to the June 18, 2016 gathering because I wanted to meet the two healers from another state. As a healer, I loved to meet other healers. We might work differently in healing sessions, but our intention to serve was the same.
With the car, I hope to be more active in the coming year.
Love and peace,
Q of D
Tuesday, November 13, 2018
Wednesday, October 24, 2018
A Hard Decision - Part Three
Greetings!
This was the dream I happened to read on June 18, 2018. I had the dream on May 16, 2018. In fact, that morning I had three dreams with one dream after another.
If you haven't read part one and two, please click to view A Hard Decision - Part One , A Hard Decision - Part Two )
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
First dream -
A leader / ruler / emperor wanted to build a bridge that would last.
There were many counsels and officials around him. They presented the emperor their views and ideas as how to build the bridge.
The me in the dream had a vision of a bridge built solidly on earth / land, and it was not built over a river / sea / water. When it was my turn to speak*, I said, "If you want to build a bridge that will last, you cannot simply employ anyone. You have to choose those that are focused, and fully understand they are building a bridge that would last. They have to learn every detail of the bridge such as how long the bridge is. When people ask them, they must be able to relate the importance of the bridge as well as the details of the bridge. They will work on the bridge with one mind and one intention that they are building a bridge that will last, an important task that requires their life devotion, that the bridge is their life work. They must work on the bridge with that kind of dedication, and know that their work is important for the people."
*That was how it was written in my journal, but we were not really taking turns.
The ruler / emperor listened attentively.
Others continued to present their plans.
(This was a feel dream, i.e. no images. In the dream, I seemed to be a young person. It seemed many wanted the ruler to choose one particular young man to be the main adviser of the project.)
After the discussion, people surrounded the ruler wanting to know who the ruler had chosen. The ruler walked to somewhere. Some people asked that young man to walk closely behind the ruler. At one point, the ruler turned, he pointed at me to signal I should be the one. He said he agreed with my idea of the bridge.
In the dream, it seemed the chosen one would have guards protecting him or her from then onward.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
I woke up and recalled the dream clearly. Since I am a female, I automatically assumed the me in the dream was a young female, but it might not necessary be for there was no image in the dream. The bridge symbolized a bridge between people, and that was why it was not over a water body. Then I drifted off to sleep.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Second dream -
A few people were in a big room. I walked in. I walked past Matthew who stood at one corner of the room. He looked at me and did not say anything. I continued walking to another corner of the room. I saw Samuel. Samuel looked at me. He also did not say anything. I did not say anything too. Samuel signaled for me to walk to a couch a distance away.
On the couch was the spiritual teacher. He signaled for me to sit down. He reached out for my hands. Holding my hands, he said, "I want you to take over the mission." I was shocked! I said, "I could not!" The teacher said, "It will happen in two months." I did not understand what he meant. I said I could not do that. I said, "Samuel can lead the group, or Matthew, or . . ." The teacher stopped me. He said for me to lead the group.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
I woke up. I thought "what an unthinkable dream! How can I dream such a dream!" This dream was really strange and beyond my mind! In real life, my friends and I had always greeted one another. I drifted off to sleep again.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Last dream -
I dreamed I had a lot to study. I packed (or picked) up a box full of notes, papers, and etc. I thought I had to spend time to read the notes and get ready (for an exam. ? not sure get ready for what). The thought in the dream was I must read them and know them.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Then I woke up. These dreams were so beyond me that I did not write anything after writing them down. I put five * * * * * on top of the page that recorded the second dream to show how unthinkable the dream was.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
I had completely forgotten about the dreams of May 16.
Reading the dreams on June 18, I had the same "unimaginable" and "impossible" feeling. I had not gone to the April, May and June meetings. I was at peace with my decision. Why did I re-read the dreams now?
The first dream could be a past life dream. In a reading some years ago, the channel saw pictures / visions about me. In one of her visions was an ancient palace with soldiers lining up the road. She said it was symbolic to I had an army protecting me. She also saw a vision of an ancient temple. She 'got' that these were two of my significant past lives that I drew strength from for my current lifetime.
To me, the second dream was impossible or would never happen. I thought the teacher might not come to give discourses in the summer. Many in the group had already attended his discourses early this year. They had stayed with him for many weeks. I did think Samuel and others were good to lead the group because they were one mind and one heart, which was important for any mission.
As for the third dream, my understanding was it had much to do with the second dream. BUT, I really did not think the second dream would unfold.
I closed the notebook. As much as I believed (or hoped) that these were but dreams, I could not fall asleep.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
On July 12, I received an email that the spiritual teacher was coming to give discourses later that month. My assumption was wrong. Though many had visited him earlier this year, it was on his schedule to come to USA to deliver discourses in the summer.
I was troubled as what to do. I had made up my mind that it was better for the group to move forth without me. My views were different from my friends. I had not followed the teacher's instructions to read the books and surrender to the masters. There was no way the teacher wanted me to lead the group. As I said in the dream, I could not do that.
My dreams could not be true, I said to myself. I had not been participating as actively as some did. I seldom stayed behind, and did not say much during meetings. There were others that came once in a while, and therefore, I did not find it necessary to email my friends of my decision. In the past, I did not receive any email afterward as to why I did not go to the meetings. I believed it would remain the same if I did not attend the discourses.
At the time, I was more concerned about buying a car. Other than going to nearby stores, we seldom went anywhere else in the last eight months because of the problems with the old car. I spent lots of time on the Internet looking for an affordable good used car.
Be it that I am right or wrong, stubborn or weak, I share with you my experience 'as is', and shall continue to do so. (Click to view The Last Part of A Hard Decision )
Love,
Q of D
This was the dream I happened to read on June 18, 2018. I had the dream on May 16, 2018. In fact, that morning I had three dreams with one dream after another.
If you haven't read part one and two, please click to view A Hard Decision - Part One , A Hard Decision - Part Two )
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
First dream -
A leader / ruler / emperor wanted to build a bridge that would last.
There were many counsels and officials around him. They presented the emperor their views and ideas as how to build the bridge.
The me in the dream had a vision of a bridge built solidly on earth / land, and it was not built over a river / sea / water. When it was my turn to speak*, I said, "If you want to build a bridge that will last, you cannot simply employ anyone. You have to choose those that are focused, and fully understand they are building a bridge that would last. They have to learn every detail of the bridge such as how long the bridge is. When people ask them, they must be able to relate the importance of the bridge as well as the details of the bridge. They will work on the bridge with one mind and one intention that they are building a bridge that will last, an important task that requires their life devotion, that the bridge is their life work. They must work on the bridge with that kind of dedication, and know that their work is important for the people."
*That was how it was written in my journal, but we were not really taking turns.
The ruler / emperor listened attentively.
Others continued to present their plans.
(This was a feel dream, i.e. no images. In the dream, I seemed to be a young person. It seemed many wanted the ruler to choose one particular young man to be the main adviser of the project.)
After the discussion, people surrounded the ruler wanting to know who the ruler had chosen. The ruler walked to somewhere. Some people asked that young man to walk closely behind the ruler. At one point, the ruler turned, he pointed at me to signal I should be the one. He said he agreed with my idea of the bridge.
In the dream, it seemed the chosen one would have guards protecting him or her from then onward.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
I woke up and recalled the dream clearly. Since I am a female, I automatically assumed the me in the dream was a young female, but it might not necessary be for there was no image in the dream. The bridge symbolized a bridge between people, and that was why it was not over a water body. Then I drifted off to sleep.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Second dream -
A few people were in a big room. I walked in. I walked past Matthew who stood at one corner of the room. He looked at me and did not say anything. I continued walking to another corner of the room. I saw Samuel. Samuel looked at me. He also did not say anything. I did not say anything too. Samuel signaled for me to walk to a couch a distance away.
On the couch was the spiritual teacher. He signaled for me to sit down. He reached out for my hands. Holding my hands, he said, "I want you to take over the mission." I was shocked! I said, "I could not!" The teacher said, "It will happen in two months." I did not understand what he meant. I said I could not do that. I said, "Samuel can lead the group, or Matthew, or . . ." The teacher stopped me. He said for me to lead the group.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
I woke up. I thought "what an unthinkable dream! How can I dream such a dream!" This dream was really strange and beyond my mind! In real life, my friends and I had always greeted one another. I drifted off to sleep again.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Last dream -
I dreamed I had a lot to study. I packed (or picked) up a box full of notes, papers, and etc. I thought I had to spend time to read the notes and get ready (for an exam. ? not sure get ready for what). The thought in the dream was I must read them and know them.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Then I woke up. These dreams were so beyond me that I did not write anything after writing them down. I put five * * * * * on top of the page that recorded the second dream to show how unthinkable the dream was.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
I had completely forgotten about the dreams of May 16.
Reading the dreams on June 18, I had the same "unimaginable" and "impossible" feeling. I had not gone to the April, May and June meetings. I was at peace with my decision. Why did I re-read the dreams now?
The first dream could be a past life dream. In a reading some years ago, the channel saw pictures / visions about me. In one of her visions was an ancient palace with soldiers lining up the road. She said it was symbolic to I had an army protecting me. She also saw a vision of an ancient temple. She 'got' that these were two of my significant past lives that I drew strength from for my current lifetime.
To me, the second dream was impossible or would never happen. I thought the teacher might not come to give discourses in the summer. Many in the group had already attended his discourses early this year. They had stayed with him for many weeks. I did think Samuel and others were good to lead the group because they were one mind and one heart, which was important for any mission.
As for the third dream, my understanding was it had much to do with the second dream. BUT, I really did not think the second dream would unfold.
I closed the notebook. As much as I believed (or hoped) that these were but dreams, I could not fall asleep.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
On July 12, I received an email that the spiritual teacher was coming to give discourses later that month. My assumption was wrong. Though many had visited him earlier this year, it was on his schedule to come to USA to deliver discourses in the summer.
I was troubled as what to do. I had made up my mind that it was better for the group to move forth without me. My views were different from my friends. I had not followed the teacher's instructions to read the books and surrender to the masters. There was no way the teacher wanted me to lead the group. As I said in the dream, I could not do that.
My dreams could not be true, I said to myself. I had not been participating as actively as some did. I seldom stayed behind, and did not say much during meetings. There were others that came once in a while, and therefore, I did not find it necessary to email my friends of my decision. In the past, I did not receive any email afterward as to why I did not go to the meetings. I believed it would remain the same if I did not attend the discourses.
At the time, I was more concerned about buying a car. Other than going to nearby stores, we seldom went anywhere else in the last eight months because of the problems with the old car. I spent lots of time on the Internet looking for an affordable good used car.
Be it that I am right or wrong, stubborn or weak, I share with you my experience 'as is', and shall continue to do so. (Click to view The Last Part of A Hard Decision )
Love,
Q of D
Sunday, October 21, 2018
A Hard Decision - Part Two
Greetings!
My friends read the books diligently and were totally into surrendering to the masters that had moved on many years ago. They were one mind and one heart in the mission. I decided it was better for them to move forth without me. Centering in peace, I sent my friends love and blessings. I thanked them for their warmth and kindness. Mentally, I talked to the spiritual teacher as well as the two masters. I loved and respected them. However, I was not in the same mindset as the rest of the group. Realized beings that they were, I trusted that they understood. (Re A Hard Decision - Part One )
In life, we all had to make decisions every now and then. It was not an easy decision, but I trusted All Is Well. (Please view Making Decisions )
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Near the end of March, we learned the master healer had passed away. Though he was in his 80 s, we did not expect this to happen. (Re The Master Healer had stepped out of the physical world )
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
As I had mentioned, I was not one that liked to ask questions. It took me quite some time to realize almost all of my friends came from two different spiritual circles. The majority of the group came from the same culture as the spiritual teacher. The rest came from a circle that included the facilitator (host) of the June 2016 gathering and the master healer. The master healer visited our state every now and then because he had close relatives and friends here. His circle of friends had practiced spiritual truth together for over ten years. The master healer only learned or was reminded of his role in the mission when he came to facilitate the healing workshop in August 2016. It was quite an amazing story. (Re I asked to be a channel of healing to the others, and I was and The Unveiling of A Divine Plan )
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
When the spiritual teacher came, many people came to hear his discourses. Some flew in from other states to be in the teacher's presence to receive his blessing, and returned to their states afterward. After the teacher left, other than the regular devotees, some that lived locally came occasionally for the monthly meeting. Some might not come again until next year's discourses. The meeting was held in the first week of a month. The teacher had asked Matthew, Samuel and two wonderful friends (female) from the master healer's group to host the meeting. Due to my quiet nature, I seldom said anything during the 2-hour meeting, and was usually the first one to leave. I knew many regular devotees stayed behind to learn / practice more until the early hours of the second day when the master healer was present. I did not stay behind because I did not want any misunderstanding within my family.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Since my mind was set, I did not go to the April, May and June meetings. I was at peace with my decision until the night of June 18. That night I happened to pick up one of my journals, and read about a dream that I had completely forgotten.
The dream I happened to read on the night of June 18 was such a dream. I wrote it down in detail. The dream was so inconceivable to my logical mind, and soon I forgot about it. It might be, subconsciously, I just wanted to put it behind me.
I will share with you this particular dream in my next post. (A Hard Decision - Part Three )
Have a good week!
Love,
Q of D
My friends read the books diligently and were totally into surrendering to the masters that had moved on many years ago. They were one mind and one heart in the mission. I decided it was better for them to move forth without me. Centering in peace, I sent my friends love and blessings. I thanked them for their warmth and kindness. Mentally, I talked to the spiritual teacher as well as the two masters. I loved and respected them. However, I was not in the same mindset as the rest of the group. Realized beings that they were, I trusted that they understood. (Re A Hard Decision - Part One )
In life, we all had to make decisions every now and then. It was not an easy decision, but I trusted All Is Well. (Please view Making Decisions )
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Near the end of March, we learned the master healer had passed away. Though he was in his 80 s, we did not expect this to happen. (Re The Master Healer had stepped out of the physical world )
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
As I had mentioned, I was not one that liked to ask questions. It took me quite some time to realize almost all of my friends came from two different spiritual circles. The majority of the group came from the same culture as the spiritual teacher. The rest came from a circle that included the facilitator (host) of the June 2016 gathering and the master healer. The master healer visited our state every now and then because he had close relatives and friends here. His circle of friends had practiced spiritual truth together for over ten years. The master healer only learned or was reminded of his role in the mission when he came to facilitate the healing workshop in August 2016. It was quite an amazing story. (Re I asked to be a channel of healing to the others, and I was and The Unveiling of A Divine Plan )
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
When the spiritual teacher came, many people came to hear his discourses. Some flew in from other states to be in the teacher's presence to receive his blessing, and returned to their states afterward. After the teacher left, other than the regular devotees, some that lived locally came occasionally for the monthly meeting. Some might not come again until next year's discourses. The meeting was held in the first week of a month. The teacher had asked Matthew, Samuel and two wonderful friends (female) from the master healer's group to host the meeting. Due to my quiet nature, I seldom said anything during the 2-hour meeting, and was usually the first one to leave. I knew many regular devotees stayed behind to learn / practice more until the early hours of the second day when the master healer was present. I did not stay behind because I did not want any misunderstanding within my family.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Since my mind was set, I did not go to the April, May and June meetings. I was at peace with my decision until the night of June 18. That night I happened to pick up one of my journals, and read about a dream that I had completely forgotten.
My loved ones rarely talked about dreams. They said they did not remember any dream after they woke up. There were days I could not recall any dream too. Sometimes I remembered a dream, but did not take the time to write it down. Later, I could not remember anything about the dream. Occasionally, I woke up from unthinkable dreams. I remembered those dreams clearly, and was able to write them down in details.
The dream I happened to read on the night of June 18 was such a dream. I wrote it down in detail. The dream was so inconceivable to my logical mind, and soon I forgot about it. It might be, subconsciously, I just wanted to put it behind me.
I will share with you this particular dream in my next post. (A Hard Decision - Part Three )
Have a good week!
Love,
Q of D
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