2007 The Year of Many Changes

Greetings!

Continued from my previous post A look back at my journey with my husband since 2003

2007 was a year of many changes.

  

In January, I began volunteering in a soup kitchen for the homeless.

  

In February, my younger son moved out of our apartment, and moved into his own house because he was going to get married in July.

  

Near the end of March, I went to a 2-day healing workshop.  Upon learning that I had learned a healing art, the teacher of the Thursday Circle who was now also the owner of the center asked me to be the on-site healer on Wednesdays.  I knew the other on-site healers were long time professional healers.  I felt unqualified, and tried to get out of it.  The teacher said I did not see what she saw of me.  She insisted Wednesday was mine as long as I wanted to be there.  As a result, I was at the center every Wednesday from April to August until I moved to another state.  I am eternally grateful for her love and encouragement.  

Due to the slow economy in our state, our older son was laid off in April.

After learning a healing art, I had a few wonderful experiences in May and June.  For instance, while taking a walk in a park, tremendous energy moved me to walk to a tree and give healing.  It was only then I saw part of the tree was black, i.e. part of the tree had been stricken by lightning.  On another occasion, I was at a festival, the healing energy guided me to cleanse the negative energy around a tent.  (Re My experiences as a channel of spiritual healing energy)  Later in June, a cup of boiling hot coffee spilt onto the right side of my lower body.  In shock, I totally forgot to pray or call out for healing.  (Re  Two consecutive stories of healing - The Hot Coffee Incident and The Healing in the Washroom )  My husband was with me in these experiences.  He feared for my safety in the festival incident.  As for the hot coffee incident, we both looked at the door when it suddenly swung open.  He felt the air moved as if someone rushed in too.  He was relieved that my pain was lifted, but did not say anything afterward.  That night I went to bed with a heart full of gratitude.  I did not know I would be an instrument of healing the next day. 

Early July, my older son got a job offer from a local corporation.  On the same day, a recruiter called.  He had arranged a phone interview for my son with an out of state corporation.  My son declined because he already had a job offer.  The recruiter said it would make him looked bad, and asked my son to do him a favor by going through the phone interview.  To put a long story short, everything was in the divine plan.  (Re The Prophetic Dream of Moving - Story 1 )

The whole family went through a lot of emotions in July of 2007.  A day before our younger son's wedding rehearsal, our older son got the call that he was hired by the company in another state.  After the call, he came to ask for my opinion if he should stay or accept the out of state job.  My older son had always said he wanted to stay where he was born, and did not want to work in other states.  Though I had come to realize a divine plan was unfolding, I did not want to influence his choice in any way.  I said, "I have no opinion.  It is your life.  You are in control.  It is your decision to make."  It was a shock to my younger son on his wedding rehearsal that we would soon move to another state.  I loved both of my sons dearly and equally.  For years, we lived closely as a family of four.  I was happy for my younger son that he had found the one he loved, but had never expected we would soon lived over 700 miles apart.

Despite of the emotions brought forth by the situation, our son and daughter-in-law's wedding was beautiful, joyous and memorable.  When they said their vows, their love for each other touched our hearts and those that came.  Earlier in the afternoon, I knew some people saw me as weird or irrational.  However, I was very much at ease with my way of being.  Later, we were in the car on our way to the wedding.  My husband rarely expressed joyful emotion openly.  That afternoon he let out a big, big smile with two thumbs up as he witnessed the sudden change of scenery (or weather) as I had said.  (Please view my post The sun will shine and the wind will calm down ) 

My husband and I arrived in the other state in the second half of August 2007.  Though the teacher of the Thursday Circle had hinted that I might go through the darkest of night (period of darkness), I felt hopeful towards the future.  I saw the move as a new beginning.  I thought living in a new place might help my husband to put the past behind him, and lived with vigor.  For a while he seemed to be doing better, but soon went back to his practice.

I believed it was either in late August or early September that the teacher of healing called me to meet her in a restaurant.  She was on her way back to her home state which was near the state I lived.  She had held healing workshops in different states.  She encouraged me to become a professional healer.  She said two traveling Unity ministers (a couple) who had learned the healing modality from her would be at a Unity Church the coming Sunday, and asked me to meet up with them.  She thought the three of us (the 2 ministers and me) could offer healing after Sunday service.  The two ministers were there on their own agenda, and what the teacher had hoped did not happen.  At Unity, a mother and daughter who were both mediums talked to me.  Later, they told me I should go to another church.  They felt that church was right for me.  The following Sunday they gave me the address of the small church which I eventually called my spiritual home.  

My spirit guide had said the real beauty of life is what you do not know .  How true it was!  How likely that one went to a church and two people there told her another church was right for her?  Many of us failed to recognize the synchronicities, beauty, and wonders in life.  I paid attention, and my heart was constantly filled with awe and gratitude for the touches of the divine.   

On the last Sunday of September 2007, I went to the small church for the first time.  I was surged with energy as soon as I walked into the chapel.  The service had already started.  People were standing and singing.  A kind gentleman came to stand next to me, and shared with me the hymn book.  It turned out he was the speaker on that Sunday.  (He was also the pastor that gave me the DVD of the healing service in A beautiful pink fish on the back of a white dove )  

Other than the small church, I continued to go to the Unity church about once every four or five weeks.  On Nov. 25, 2007, I had planned to go to Unity, but I 'got' that I should go to the small church.  It turned out to be an interesting day during which I met two strangers that came from a southern state.  One of them was a healer and a messenger for Archangel Metatron.  Below were the posts about this encounter published in Jan. and Feb. of 2013. 

    

Part one - I said 'No'' three times on this Sunday

Part two - Archangel Metatron and the healing session

Part three - It is in the not knowing that makes life intriguing

In the car, the woman suddenly said something out of nowhere: "You always think your husband is very important (in your life), but he is not."  I was shocked.  I had not said anything about my husband.  It reminded me of the reading in March, 2006.  Near the end of the reading, the psychic medium said, "You always think you need your husband, but you don't need him.  He doesn't want to drive you, or he doesn't support what you want to do.  It means nothing.  You can go where you want to go and do what you want to do."   

If you have been reading my blog, you know I often did not know how to respond when people particularly strangers said something about me out of nowhere.  I could have asked questions, but did not.  I ended up feeling very unsettled afterward.  There was one time that I actually prayed to see that person again so that I could ask why she said what she said. (Re The Lesson of Importance )

                                            ~       ~       ~       ~       ~       ~

Did I think my husband was very important?

When I had the Dec. 2001 phone reading by a known angel channel, I did not understand why I was told that if I wanted a loving relationship, I should not fixate on anybody, and should simply think what a loving relationship was.  After the reading, I broke down and cried.  I thought it hinted that my husband might die.  (About the background of the reading, please view Seeing the birds, I had no doubt God had given me the sign and Do you really mean what you pray for? )  

When the business did not prosper as he had hoped, my husband felt angry about life.  He looked back at his old pains such as losing his mother as a child, his father in his teen and the brother that loved him was wrongly executed during the Cultural Revolution.  He felt life had not treated him fair.  In his negative state of being, he blocked the problems he was supposed to handle.  Sometimes he acted distant.  Sometimes he said angry words.

I was a simple Chinese woman.  I did not condone the way he handled himself, but I understood how he felt.  He was the father of our sons.  He had worked hard all his life.  He did not spend money on himself.  He was headstrong, but he loved his family in his own way.  Therefore, I prayed earnestly for his wellbeing after the reading.  I did not want him to leave this world feeling all bitter toward life.  My husband worried a lot about money.  Sons were in college, and better days were ahead.  I felt blessed as a mother, and it was my hope that my husband would have a new perspective of life in the days to come.

After the reading in Dec. 2001, I thought I had prayed according to the guidance.  For years I continued to live in uncertainty.  I thought my prayers were not heard.  It was only until one day in June of 2006 that I realized how contradictory my prayers were.  (Re Do you really mean what you pray for? published in 2012)

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Around Christmas 2007, my younger son and his wife drove to visit us for a few days.  We were so happy to see one another.  We went to see the display of Christmas lights by the ocean.  Looking at my loved ones, my heart was filled with joy and gratitude.

But, in less than two months, we would go through the darkest of night as the teacher of the Thursday Circle had foretold.

Peace and Love,

Q of D

  

A Look Back at my journey with my husband since 2003

Greetings!

In January 2003, my husband followed the pictures and instructions in the Chinese newspaper to learn a practice.  Soon he was addicted to the practice just as those people in China who were imprisoned again and again because they could not stop practicing.  (Re Part 5 - The background of my husband''s problem ) 

My husband had not read any spiritual book, and did not know the term automatic writing.  When he looked at what came through him in writing, he was in awe.  He believed the master was truly communicating with him.  It deepened his faith in the super power of the master.  He said the master taught him advanced moves and chose him to teach others.  He felt honored that the master had chosen him.  Despite of the fact that his source failed the test badly and had been proven wrong in later events, my husband never let go of his blind belief in a master he only read about in the newspaper.  (Re In time of darkness, light always shines through )

On May 26, 2005, I finally stepped outside of my family to socialize with other people.  I joined a spiritual circle that met every Thursday morning.  I was happy to sit among my friends who loved and supported me unconditionally.  Meanwhile, my husband was in a similar state as he was in 2003.  He did not look well at all, yet he himself believed he was in good health because of his practice.  He would not listen to what we said.  Seeing how he was, I could not help but worried.

One day when the circle was over, my worries finally pushed me to talk to a friend who had shown amazing psychic gifts.  Though I had been with the circle for a few months, I seldom spoke up, and of course, had not talked about my husband's problem.  I simply told my friend I was very worried about my husband, and wondered if he would be alright.  For a while, she seemed to take in the images she saw psychically.  She said my husband had not obtained the peace that I had, and that was why he grabbed onto something to maintain his peace.  She talked very fast to relate what she saw.  Her words were precise and accurate.  I did not ask more questions.  I thanked her and left.  My friend's words already helped me to look at my husband's problem from a new perspective.  My husband was bitter about life.  It was true he did not feel peace. 

A few days later, the owner of the center called me.  She gave me the friend's phone number, and asked me to call her.  She said the friend had been very worried about me.  It seemed the friend held a channeling session hoping for answers for me, and something dark / horrifying came through.  I called, but the friend did not say much.  She probably did not want me to worry. 

The following Thursday I drove to the center.  As I walked in, I saw a known on-site reader had come.  There were other healers and psychics too.  (The owner of the center and the teacher of the circle were exceptional psychics.)  Though the circle went on as usual, I could sense I was the reason they came.  They all looked at me with lots of love and compassion.  Finally, I decided to speak up.  I thanked them for their love.  I talked for quite a while about my husband and me.  I said I had learned no matter what happened - All Is Well.  I asked my friends not to worry about me.  My friends listened.  They said I should know that they were always there to love and support me no matter what would happen.  

I truly did not want my friends to worry.  In order to do so, I knew I must be the one to let go of my worry for my husband first.  Was it easy to do so?  No.  However, I understood each one of us was responsible for our own life, and my husband was responsible for how he lived his life.  I might hold the space for him, but understood no one could learn life lessons for another.

By the grace of the Divine, my husband got a call from the mother of a former boss.  The elderly woman and her son had treated my husband with respect when he worked for them.  The woman asked my husband to go to help her son-in-law who owned a restaurant in a city not too far away.  After selling the business, my husband had said he did not want to work anymore.  However, since the woman had treated him with respect, my husband promised to work there until her son-in-law found permanent help.  For some months, my husband could not spend all his time on the practice because he had to work.  It did not last long because my husband honestly told the son-in-law 'No' when he offered him the job.  However, the divine grace had helped.  During the time he worked, he regained some strength and looked healthier than before.  Afterward, he did go to help in restaurants during weekends once in a while when his friends really needed temporary help.

In August 2007, we moved to another state because our older son found a job there.  Before the move, I was at the circle for the last time.  I remembered that day clearly.  As usual, the teacher started the circle by saying something she got during her meditation.  It usually lasted for about 15 minutes.  (I assumed it was the case during my two years with the circle.  She never mentioned who the words were for.  In my experience, what she said could be for one or two of us.  Sometimes she said the message was for all of us.)  She said something like this one had blossomed into a beautiful flower, but would soon go through the darkest of night.  At the end, she said "Be Bold! Be Bold! Be Bold! Persevere! Persevere! Persevere!"  Sitting there, I was sure she was talking to me.  In my 2001 Dec. reading by an angel channel, the guidance also told me to be bold or there was boldness within me that needed to be expressed.  (The teacher had told me the city / state we moved to would be where I spent the last phase of my life.  I had to look into my journal if that was in the same message or a message a week earlier.)

The words "would go through the darkest of night" did not strike any fear in me.  At the time, I knew the move was very much in divine order.  (Re The prophetic dream of moving - story 1 )  Just as I had told my friends not to worry in 2005, I had my mind set the move would be good for all of us.  I was looking forward to a new beginning.

                                            ~       to be continued      ~

Next post 2007 The Year of Many Changes

 

Red River Valley, and I learn English as I write

Greetings!

This morning I woke up hearing four stanzas of musical notes over and over again.  I knew I could stop it by mentally repeating a mantra (any mantra).  I did not do that because I wanted to figure out if I knew the music.  The music went on and on.  Finally, I spoke into my phone "what song is this?"  It was Red River Valley.

   

As far as I could remember, this could be the third time I heard the music upon waking up.  I was not into country music.  When I heard the tune for the first time, I had to hum into the phone to find out the title.  I had never heard the song before.  I listened to it on YouTube, and soon put it behind me.  Some months later, I woke up to the music again.  I had no idea it was Red River Valley because I had completely forgotten about it.  I used the phone to find out the title.  I recognized the title.  I wondered why I heard the music for the second time.  I listened to different versions and singers singing the song.  The videos of the music did not draw any emotion or reaction from within.  I thought it might be I was sensitive in a way that when someone listened to music in the neighborhood or anywhere and I heard it too.  Of course, it could not explain the phenomenon or why it was like a broken record that kept repeating only certain musical stanzas.  However, that was the way to set things aside.   (Re Music in the Air  about this special phenomenon in my life) 

In life, we did not necessary have to understand everything.  Frankly, it was impossible to understand everything with our human mind.  Sometimes truth might be revealed in matters that puzzled us.  At other times, we might not get to know why this or that happened.  We had to learn to let go, and placed our trust in Life / Life Divine.

Anyway, later this morning, I listened to the music on YouTube.  On the screen were three singers.  The main singer smiled as he sang.  In fact, all of them were peaceful and joyful while singing.  This time around I suddenly felt somewhat sad, and tears filled my eyes.  It was an emotion I felt, but it was not necessary mine.  It might be I felt the sadness of the song - the sadness the man might feel knowing the girl he loved was about to leave.  As I listened, I thought of the time I had to leave the state where the small church was.  Everything happened all at once, and I had to leave in a hurry.  Other things also came to mind.  So there I was, allowing whatever thought or remembrance to come forward.  There was probably sadness within me that I needed to release too.       

In my experiences with the music in the air (or music I perceived), some of them had proven to be meaningful, interesting and at times incredible.  However, as with all of my experiences, sometimes I did not get to understand why things happened.  That might be the case with songs such as Red River Valley and Sukiyaki .  (Re Why did I wake up hearing a song about Japanese food? and Sukiyaki on Christmas morning )

In recent weeks and months, I felt stuck in writing.  I wanted to write about what happened on the day my husband died.  Then I thought I should write about other events that happened earlier first.  For example, about 2 weeks before his death, I was at a spiritual gathering.  The clairvoyant healer saw 5 spirit guides came to surround one participant.  She was moved to tears because she saw how much healing love and light the guides extended to that person.  Over my side, there were only 3 people (including me).  I kind of knew my guides had come because I was in a powerful field of energy.  I left without asking her to confirm.  I met the healer again a couple of months ago.  She confirmed it was me.  There was more to what happened that September day in 2021.  That was why I felt I should write about it.  As I wrote, I realized there were other events that were worth sharing.  Meanwhile, part of me wanted to move on and write about other things.  That was why I had a hard time of finishing a post.  

When I typed into Google 'I felt stuck in writing', I learned it was called 'writer's block' in English.  I had limited English vocabulary.  I learned English as I wrote.  For example, one day long ago I wanted to use the word character or personality, but I 'got' that I should use attribute.  When I looked into the dictionary, attribute was the right word.  Occasionally, I stuck in writing because I did not know the word or the name of something.  Sometimes the right word, a word that I did not know, would came to my mind.  The truth was we were all much more than the physical humans we appeared to be.  As a human being, I paid attention to the little wonders and beauty in life.  I did not take things for granted.  In being so, I felt the joy of life.  At times I felt frustrated like everybody else.  However, I knew it was part of life, it would come to pass, and All Is Well.

I have decided what to share in my next post.  The small church is going to have a 3-Day gathering from morning to night.  I have signed up to join my brothers and sisters online.  I will begin writing the next post next week, and hope to finish it before the end of this month.

Many blessings,

Q of D