Sukiyaki on Christmas Morning

Greetings!

Merry Christmas to all!

This morning I woke up hearing Sukiyaki in the air.  I was surprised.  Sukiyaki on the morning of Christmas?  Later in the morning, I could not hum a tune of the music.  This was the third time I woke up hearing this piece of music.  (Re my post  Why did I wake up hearing a song about Japanese food? published in June, 2018) 

In Divine Inspiration and Co-creation , I felt inspired to use my own words as I listened to the music O Come, O Come, Emmanuel played by the Piano Guys.  As if making a song of my own, I could now easily and joyfully sing the song at will.  A few months ago, I woke up hearing 500 Miles (Peter, Paul and Mary version).  I only knew it was 500 miles, and did not know the lyrics.  I listened to it online. 

If you miss the train I'm on

You will know that I am gone
You can hear the whistle blow
A hundred miles
A hundred miles
A hundred miles
A hundred miles
A hundred miles
You can hear the whistle blow a hundred miles

Immediately, I felt the beginning of the song was sad.  I decided to change it.

I'll get on the train you are on
And join the lightworkers gathered there
We go anywhere as guided
to anchor light
We go east
We go south
We go west
We go north
Where there is a need of us, we'll be there

I called this song A Train of Lightworkers. 

As with the O Come, O Come, Emmanuel song, I had since sung my version of 500 Miles (A Train of Lightworkers) when I was in the mood to sing.  As for Sukiyaki , I still had a hard time recalling the tune when the music was not on.  I did not feel the need to do anything as I did with the other two songs.  Why did I hear Sukiyaki this Christmas morning?  I did not understand.  Would I ever know why?  Time would tell.

                                            ~       ~       ~       ~       ~       ~

I have recently edited my posts on the 2006 Camp Chesterfield trip.  Here are the links to the posts.

A Man's Face on the Moon Card Saved My Day
We are all much more than who we appear to be
Don't be too critical of ourselves and others

It is a nice Christmas.  The weather is calm, and there is no snow.  It is a joy to see my loved ones. 

Peace and blessings,
Q of D 
                                         

Be mindful of what we say

Greetings!

One day, many at the circle tried to help a friend to look at her problems in life from a different perspective.  However, it was obvious this friend was not ready to accept the advice at the time.  She joined the circle not long ago ***.  She was angry and sad because she felt her coworkers as well as her family had not treated her right.  

When the circle was over, she looked lost and frustrated.  I looked at her with compassion.  I walked to her and told her about the good in her.  Then I left.  

When we met again, she said what I said that morning had possibly saved her life. She told me what happened.

                                            ~       ~       ~       ~       ~       ~

After I left, the friend stayed behind to chat with others in the circle.  Suddenly, she found Cindy** stood in front of her.  (** Cindy used to be a regular at the circle, but had not come for some weeks.  That morning was the first time they met each other.)  Right away, Cindy said the friend was the most negative person she had ever met.  For the next few minutes, Cindy blurted out many more stuff about her such as she was so negative in this incident and selfish in another.  The friend stood there in shock.  She could not utter a word in response to what Cindy said. 

When Cindy finished talking, the friend walked out of the center in a daze.  She got into her car and drove away.  In her mind, she kept thinking she must really be a very bad person, or how else someone that met her for the first time said that of her.  She felt terrible physically and emotionally.  She could not focus on her driving.  Just then, she had a flashback of what I said.  She thought, "I can't be that bad!  Q of D (i.e. me) has said there is good in me!"  Taking comfort in the good in herself, she was able to recover from the shock.  She drove home safely.

                                            ~       ~       ~       ~       ~       ~

I knew Cindy.  She used to come to the circle regularly.  She was known for her clairvoyance and psychic gift.  We loved her.  Sometimes she seemed to have a hard time dealing with the information she received and what to do with them.  I believed she never intended to hurt the friend.  She probably saw lots of images in her mind eye that day, and blurted them out.  Perhaps she thought it might 'force' the friend to examine her attitude and change by relating what she saw.

                                            ~       ~       ~       ~       ~       ~  

Each one of us learns life lessons at one's own pace.  Sometimes our words can help or uplift others.  At other times, our words may hurt or even destroy others.  To say the right words at the right time can be miracle in the making.  At other times, the same words may either fall into the deaf ears or be the cause of irritation.  We have to be mindful of what we say.  It serves us well to remember we all have our own shortcomings, and always treat others as how we want others to treat us (which to me is love and respect).

When I talked to the friend before I left, I did not know she would have such an experience.  

In retrospect, I can see the Grace of God in this incident.  The experience may seem to involve only the three of us, but it is our experience since we are interconnected.  May love always be in all that we do.

Many blessings,
Q of D

*** All of us at the circle usually hugged one another after the circle was over, but for weeks this friend always walked past me as if she did not see me.  I let it be.  I understood some people were not comfortable with those that looked different from them.  A week earlier, I had taken the first step to greet her because I could sense her frustration was up to the rim.  I walked to her and gave her a hug.  She began to cry, and continued crying for quite a while.  Afterward, she looked embarrassed.  She said she did not understand why she cried.

**not the real name

Her loved ones did not want to hear her talk on spirituality

Greetings!

In a spiritual gathering, a woman said, "My children and their families as well as their in-laws are coming from another state for a visit.  Whenever my daughter comes, she always asked what I have been doing lately.  I enjoy spiritual meetings like this.  I really want to share with my loved ones the spiritual stuff that I have learned.  On previous occasions, everyone became very quiet after I talked.  They looked at me as if I was weird.  My daughter or son tried to talk about something else.  I don't know what to do this time.  If my daughter asks, I probably will talk about this meeting.  I am honest.  I cannot lie!"

From her voice, we could hear she was very frustrated about her situation.  A young man raised his hand and talked for quite a while.  His words were wise and kind.  Unfortunately, the woman, in her state of mind, could not take in what he said.  The woman felt very frustrated because she thought it would be good for her loved ones to hear what she learned.  However, what good could come if they found her talk repulsive?

A few of my friends (female) had voiced similar frustration.  I could relate to how they felt for I was in a similar situation as they were.  My husband was not supportive of me going among people outside of my family.  After I spoke at church or facilitated workshops, my husband never asked if everything went well.

As a child, I gradually knew to keep my dreams to myself when I observed the adults were not really interested in hearing them.  When I had those unexplainable or mystical experiences during the challenging restaurant years, I kept most of them to myself.  It was not easy to convey the touches of the Divine.  On some occasions, these happenings touched me deeply, but I fully understood other people might not feel the way I felt.  Our experiences with God / the Divine were often felt on a personal level.  When others heard them, they might either feel what happened was nothing special or it was all in one's mind to see something out of nothing.  Some might think those occurrences happened by chance or were merely coincidences.
.   
When I heard my spirit guide's voice for the first time, I knew nothing about spirit guides and angels.  The sentence / message was so strange or unthinkable that I could not set it aside.  I thought there was no way the message was for me.  I called my younger son thinking it might be for him.  At the time, he was a freshman in college.  As more strange incidents occurred, I shared some of them with him.  However, in later years / in recent years, I chose to listen when I was with my loved ones.  As with dreams, I realized it was better to keep my mystical experiences to myself.  I did not feel as frustrated as the woman did because I liked to listen and observe.  Of course, it would be nice if we had someone in the family that was like-minded, but we had to accept if they had different interest / preferences.

I understood my older son's personality.  Therefore, I rarely talked to him about my spiritual experiences.  One day, he talked to me about something.  In response, I shared with him an experience that I thought was relevant to what he was talking about.  Immediately, he said for me not to share with him anything spiritual again.  His bluntness or the tone he spoke irritated me.  In return, I said, "Okay.  I will not share with you any spiritual experience again; likewise, you must promise me you will not talk to me about bodybuilding again."  (Yes, the human I reacted to his words.)  Not expecting to hear what I said, he paused for a while before saying he would not talk to me about bodybuilding again.

Did he stop talking to me about bodybuilding?  No.  When he watched videos of bodybuilding competition online, he asked me to guess who won.  Sometimes he talked to me about other bodybuilders' stories and asked for my comment.

Bodybuilding is his passion.  What is a mother if I cannot listen to him?

As for me, I was mindful of what I said since that day many years ago.  However, on a couple of occasions, I did share something spiritual because I felt the time might be right for him to hear my experience.  He seemed to take in what I said, and did not respond with irritation.

Though he says he is not into spirituality, my son has always let me know he is willing to drive me to spiritual gatherings.  For this, I am grateful.

After I finished this post, I decided to publish Be mindful of what we say
again (it was originally posted in 2012).


Love and blessings,
Q of D

The Last part of A Hard Decision

Greetings!

From the July 12 email, I learned the spiritual teacher was going to deliver his discourses in his language near the end of July and in English a few weeks later; each lasted for a week, and all were welcome to attend both discourses.  The schedule was similar to that of 2016 and 2017.  Some of my friends attended both discourses even though they did not speak the teacher's language.  They wanted to stay in his presence as much as they could.

Before the start of the discourses in the teacher's language, I received an email that all were welcome to attend.  I did not go.  In previous years, I only attended the discourses in English.

                                            ~       ~       ~       ~       ~       ~     

In the evening of August 2, our son drove us to look for a car after he got off work.  On Aug. 3, we picked up a good used car.  (Re I can go places and sit among people again! )  On Aug.4, my phone rang.  My friends sent me a message asking if I was in town.  I was surprised for they had not done that before.  I realized the teacher had probably intuitively known I now had a reliable car.  I thought of the dream I had.  I did not know what to do, and did not respond to the message right away.

When I used the computer on Aug. 5, I found out my friends had sent me an email on Aug. 4 informing me that the teacher was going to hold a special gathering and energy transmission three days later; it would be an auspicious occasion and opportunity that we should not miss.  (I did not check my emails everyday.)

My sons assured me that there was no difference in driving my old 2001 car and the newer model car that we bought.  I knew myself.  It would take me some days to sit in the car as a passenger before I felt comfortable enough to go anywhere by myself.  The special gathering was going to take place at night as the monthly meeting, and I had not driven anywhere at night for over eight months.  Most of all, the decision I made some months ago was not a hastened one.  I had thought long and hard.

It was no accident I went to the June 18, 2016 gathering during which I met the two healers from another state as well as others that lived locally.  Everything that happened was very much in the divine plan.  For instance, many men were in the 2017 spiritual retreat; it was interesting that Matthew happened to be the only one that was born in the year that I had that strange dream.  (Re A Strange Dream , The Mystery of A Twin Sister Continues , Why I had to sign my name before he was to reincarnate and The Divine had its way of revealing to me )

The teacher said it was vital for us to surrender totally to the two masters that had moved on.  On a few occasions, people had asked if they could continue their religious practice or worship the ones they used to worship.  We were told we could if we chose to.  However, we were often reminded that the two masters were very powerful beings especially the female master.  She was not any other divine mother energy, but the one and only universal mother energy that had ever incarnated on earth.  As we surrendered, she would watch over us, guide us and protect us.

I did not know the truth.

As a group, I understood the importance of moving forth with one goal and one mind.  In our monthly meetings, my friends were really into reading the book series and worshiping the masters.  I held a different view about worship.  As human beings, we tended to differentiate and compare, e.g. who was powerful, who was more powerful and who was the most powerful.  It caused separation.  For example, some Christians thought they were far better than others because they followed Jesus Christ; it was the same with some people of other faith.  In my understanding, I believed the awakened ones such as Buddha and Christ did not intend for us to worship them.  They loved and supported us on our spiritual journey.  They wanted us to emulate them to seek the truth within for they knew we were (are) one.

When I happened to re-read my May dream on June 18, I was surprised because I had completely forgotten about the dream.  (Re the dream, please view A Hard Decision - Part Three )  I could not surrender to the masters as my friends did, and had stopped reading the books.  I thought there was no way the teacher wanted me to lead the group.

When I received the email about the special gathering and energy transmission, I thought of the dream again.  I had a different view about worship, but it did not mean my friends' way of being was wrong.  We were all subject to our own views.  I did not feel the need to impose my view on other people.  That was why I was normally quiet sitting among people.  On the occasions I felt compelled to speak up, the strong push within was hard to describe.  Fortunately, I was now more at ease when I chose to speak up.  In many ways, I admired the dedication of my friends towards the mission.  I had no doubt the special gathering was an auspicious occasion.  However, I would not go there because of the energy transmission except I was ready to be one with the group.

After contemplation, I knew I was not going to read the books for the time being.  With my different view, I did not want to be a divisive presence among my friends.  I emailed my friends about my struggle in following the teacher's guidance.  I told them I had decided it was better for the group to move forth with one heart and one mind without me.  I thanked them for their warmth and kindness.  I also expressed my love and respect to the teacher and the two masters.  (In my heart, I truly loved and respected all of them.)  They emailed me saying "We hold very high regard for you and your elevated soul.  Surrender comes slowly and steadily.  Misunderstanding or conflict with our belief system could be the source of delay.  This can be avoided by proper understanding and open dialogue.  Love you forever.  Hope to see you soon."  It was a wise and kind response.  However, I had made my decision.

I did not go to the special gathering or the discourses in English.  I did not receive any more emails from my friends.  The teacher had probably returned to his country after his birthday in September.  On his birthday, I mentally wished him a happy birthday, and talked to him that I never meant any disrespect in not attending his discourses.  I made the choice from where I was at.  A realized teacher that he was, I knew he understood.

I went to the June 18, 2016 gathering because I wanted to meet the two healers from another state.  As a healer, I loved to meet other healers.  We might work differently in healing sessions, but our intention to serve was the same.

With the car, I hope to be more active in the coming year.

Love and peace,
Q of D

A Hard Decision - Part Three

Greetings!

This was the dream I happened to read on June 18, 2018.  I had the dream on May 16, 2018.  In fact, that morning I had three dreams with one dream after another.

If you haven't read part one and two, please click to view A Hard Decision - Part One , A Hard Decision - Part Two )

                                  ~       ~       ~       ~       ~       ~

First dream -

A leader / ruler / emperor wanted to build a bridge that would last.

There were many counsels and officials around him.  They presented the emperor their views and ideas as how to build the bridge.

The me in the dream had a vision of a bridge built solidly on earth / land, yet it was not built over a river / sea / water.  When it was my turn to speak*, I said, "If you want to build a bridge that will last, you cannot simply employ anyone.  You have to choose those that are focused, and fully understand they are building a bridge that would last.  They have to learn every detail of the bridge such as how long the bridge is.  When people ask them, they must be able to relate the importance of the bridge as well as the details of the bridge.  They will work on the bridge with one mind and one intention that they are building a bridge that will last, an important task that requires their life devotion, that the bridge is their life work.  They must work on the bridge with that kind of dedication, and know that their work is important for the people."

*That was how it was written in my journal, but we were not really taking turns.

The ruler / emperor listened attentively.

Others continued to present their plans.

(This was a feel dream, i.e. no images.  In the dream, I seemed to be a young person.  It seemed many wanted the ruler to choose one particular young man to be the main adviser of the project.)

After the discussion, people surrounded the ruler wanting to know who the ruler had chosen.  The ruler walked to somewhere.  Some people asked that young man to walk closely behind the ruler.  At one point, the ruler turned, he pointed at me to signal I should be the one.  He said he agreed with my idea of the bridge.

In the dream, it seemed the chosen one would have guards protecting him or her from then onward.

                                            ~       ~       ~       ~       ~       ~

I woke up and recalled the dream clearly.  Since I am a female, I automatically assumed the me in the dream was a young female, but it might not necessary be for there was no image in the dream.  The bridge symbolized a bridge between people, and that was why it was not over a water body.  Then I drifted off to sleep.

                                            ~       ~       ~       ~       ~       ~

Second dream -

A few people were in a big room.  I walked in.  I walked past Matthew who stood at one corner of the room.  He looked at me and did not say anything.  I continued walking to another corner of the room.  I saw Samuel.  Samuel looked at me.  He also did not say anything.  I did not say anything too.  Samuel signaled for me to walk to a couch a distance away.

On the couch was the spiritual teacher.  He signaled for me to sit down.  He reached out for my hands.  Holding my hands, he said, "I want you to take over the mission."  I was shocked!  I said, "I could not!"  The teacher said, "It will happen in two months."  I did not understand what he meant.  I said I could not do that.  I said, "Samuel can lead the group, or Matthew, or . . ."  The teacher stopped me.  He said for me to lead the group.

                                            ~       ~       ~       ~       ~       ~

I woke up.  I thought "what an unthinkable dream!  How can I dream such a dream!"  This dream was really strange and beyond my mind!  In real life, my friends and I had always greeted one another.  I drifted off to sleep again.

                                            ~       ~       ~       ~       ~       ~

Last dream -

I dreamed I had a lot to study.  I packed (or picked) up a box full of notes, papers, and etc.  I thought I had to spend time to read the notes and get ready (for an exam. ? not sure get ready for what).  The thought in the dream was I must read them and know them.

                                            ~       ~       ~       ~       ~       ~

Then I got up.  These dreams were so beyond me that I did not write anything after writing them down.  I put five * * * * * on top of the page that recorded the second dream to show how unthinkable the dream was.

                                            ~       ~       ~       ~       ~       ~

I had completely forgotten about the dreams of May 16.

Reading the dreams on June 18, I had the same "unthinkable" and "impossible" feeling.  I had not gone to the April, May and June meetings.  I was at peace with my decision.  Why did I re-read the dreams now?

The first dream could be a past life dream.  In a reading some years ago, the channel saw pictures / visions about me.  In one of her visions was an ancient palace with soldiers lining up the road.  She said it was symbolic to I had an army protecting me.  She also saw a vision of an ancient temple.  She 'got' that these were two of my significant past lives that I drew strength from for my current lifetime.

To me, the second dream was impossible or would never happen.  I thought the teacher might not come to give discourses in the summer.  Many in the group had already attended his discourses early this year.  They had stayed with him for many weeks.  I did think Samuel and others were good to lead the group because they were one mind and one heart, which was important for any mission.

As for the third dream, my understanding was it had much to do with the second dream.  BUT, I really did not think the second dream would unfold.

I closed the notebook.  As much as I believed (or hoped) that these were but dreams, I could not fall asleep.

                                            ~       ~       ~       ~       ~       ~

On July 12, I received an email that the spiritual teacher was coming to give discourses later that month.  My assumption was wrong.  Though many had visited him earlier this year, it was on his schedule to come to USA to deliver discourses in the summer.

I was troubled as what to do.  I had made up my mind that it was better for the group to move forth without me.  My views were different from my friends.  I had not followed the teacher's instructions to read the books and surrender to the masters.  There was no way the teacher wanted me to lead the group.  As I said in the dream, I could not do that.

My dreams could not be true, I said to myself.  I had not been participating as actively as some did.  I seldom stayed behind, and did not say much during meetings.  There were others that came once in a while, and therefore, I did not find it necessary to email my friends of my decision.  In the past, I did not receive any email afterward as to why I did not go to the meetings.  I believed it would remain the same if I did not attend the discourses. 

At the time, I was more concerned about buying a car.  Other than going to nearby stores, we seldom went anywhere else in the last eight months because of the problems with the old car.  I spent lots of time on the Internet looking for an affordable good used car.

Be it that I am right or wrong, stubborn or weak, I share with you my experience 'as is', and shall continue to do so.  (Click to view The Last Part of A Hard Decision )


Love,
Q of D

A Hard Decision - Part Two

Greetings!

My friends read the books diligently and were totally into surrendering to the masters that had moved on many years ago.  They were one mind and one heart in the mission.  I decided it was better for them to move forth without me.  Centering in peace, I sent my friends love and blessings.  I thanked them for their warmth and kindness.  Mentally, I talked to the spiritual teacher as well as the two masters.  I loved and respected them.  However, I was not in the same mindset as the rest of the group.  Realized beings that they were, I trusted that they understood.  (Re A Hard Decision - Part One )

In life, we all had to make decisions every now and then.  It was not an easy decision, but I trusted All Is Well.  (Please view Making Decisions )

                                            ~       ~       ~       ~       ~       ~

Near the end of March, we learned the master healer had passed away.  Though he was in his 80 s, we did not expect this to happen.  (Re The Master Healer had stepped out of the physical world )

                                            ~       ~       ~       ~       ~       ~

As I had mentioned, I was not one that liked to ask questions.  It took me quite some time to realize almost all of my friends came from two different spiritual circles.  The majority of the group came from the same culture as the spiritual teacher.  The rest came from a circle that included the facilitator (host) of the June 2016 gathering and the master healer.  The master healer visited our state every now and then because he had close relatives and friends here.  His circle of friends had practiced spiritual truth together for over ten years.  The master healer only learned or was reminded of his role in the mission when he came to facilitate the healing workshop in August 2016.  It was quite an amazing story.  (Re I asked to be a channel of healing to the others, and I was and The Unveiling of A Divine Plan )

                                            ~       ~       ~       ~       ~       ~

When the spiritual teacher came, many people came to hear his discourses.  Some flew in from other states to be in the teacher's presence to receive his blessing, and returned to their states afterward.  After the teacher left, other than the regular devotees, some that lived locally came occasionally for the monthly meeting.  Some might not come again until next year's discourses.  The meeting was held in the first week of a month.  The teacher had asked Matthew, Samuel and two wonderful friends (female) from the master healer's group to host the meeting.  Due to my quiet nature, I seldom said anything during the 2-hour meeting, and was usually the first one to leave.  I knew many regular devotees stayed behind to learn / practice more until the early hours of the second day when the master healer was present.  I did not stay behind because I did not want any misunderstanding within my family.

                                            ~       ~       ~       ~       ~       ~

Since my mind was set, I did not go to the April, May and June meetings.  I was at peace with my decision until the night of June 18.  That night I happened to pick up one of my journals, and read about a dream that I had completely forgotten.

My loved ones rarely talked about dreams.  They said they did not remember any dream after they woke up.  There were days I could not recall any dream too.  Sometimes I remembered a dream, but did not take the time to write it down.  Later, I could not remember anything about the dream.  Occasionally, I woke up from unthinkable dreams.  I  remembered those dreams clearly, and was able to write them down in details.  

The dream I happened to read on the night of June 18 was such a dream.  I wrote it down in detail.  The dream was so inconceivable to my logical mind, and soon I forgot about it.  It might be, subconsciously, I just wanted to put it behind me.

I will share with you this particular dream in my next post.  (A Hard Decision - Part Three )

Have a good week!

Love,
Q of D

A Hard Decision - Part One

Greetings!

It is October.  It is time to get back to my blog.

I did not publish any post in September.  I wrote two posts in July and one post in August.  As it was in A Halt in Blogging , I again pondered what to do.  I understood 'nothing is personal in the loving divine', but, the human I still struggled to share my experience 'as is'.

                                            ~       ~       ~       ~       ~       ~       ~

After the retreat in the summer of 2017, the spiritual teacher went back to his country.  Our group met once a month at night as we were after the 2016 discourses except this time around the master healer did not plan to join us regularly.  He said it was time for our group to move forward by ourselves.  It was understandable.  He had already flown to our state (using his own money) to be with us in our monthly meeting for a whole year.  He was in his 80 s, and had his own work / business to attend to in the state he lived in.

Before the spiritual teacher left, he suddenly said we would meet again soon.  At the time, I thought he meant he would come back next year (i.e. in the summer of 2018).  A month or two later, I received an email that the teacher had invited us (or those that could go) to attend his new year discourse in his country.  It was then I realized why he said we would meet again soon.  I did not go.  Many of my friends together with their families went on the trip near the end of 2017.  I had intended to see my friends before they left.  However, I did not go to the December meeting because my old car broke down the day before.

With the car problems, I did not want to drive at night.  I did not go to the Jan. and Feb. meetings.  Many in the group were still with the spiritual teacher and had not returned to USA.

                                            ~       ~       ~       ~       ~       ~

During that time, I read the book series once in a while.  The books were written by a disciple of the two masters that had moved on.  He recorded many events and conversations with one of the masters (one master had moved on) in great detail.  In the books were also his own spiritual and emotional journey during that time.  I did not feel the same resonance in reading the books as my friends did.  Eventually, I decided to stop reading the books.  Unlike how I felt some months ago, this time I was at peace with my choice.  (Re The Feeling of Separateness )

                                            ~       ~       ~       ~       ~       ~

In late February, I learned my friends had come back from their trip, and there was a meeting in early March.  Despite of the problems with the car, I decided to go to see my friends.

I was glad to see my friends.  Some were surprised and happy to see me too.  We watched the video of their trip.  Later, some shared their experiences about reading the books.  In the absence of a teacher, something seemed to be missing.  It might be none of us had the clarity to speak up here and there as the master healer did.

In the 2017 retreat, the spiritual teacher had emphasized that we as a group must surrender totally to the two masters that had moved on so that they could guide us from above.  It was said they were not just any other ascended masters, but super powerful universal beings that had reincarnated.  Most in the group had indeed followed through wholeheartedly, read the book series diligently and worshiped the gurus with all their hearts. 

During the gathering, I observed how one heart and one mind my friends were into worshiping the gurus.  Sitting there, I wondered what to do.  I had stopped reading the books.  Though I did not doubt the two masters were wonderful spiritual beings, but I had not come to a total surrender as my friends did.

In my post Gateway to Heaven, I wrote I loved Buddha as I loved Christ.  In other words, I held the view of equality.  I believed "in each one of us is the spark of God, and Truth resides within; we are of the same nature, and it was in divine order we have unique / different expressions."  In my heart, I loved many ascended masters as well as wonderful people I had met / heard of.  I might feel closer to some, but my love did not vary because some were portrayed as more powerful than others.  (Re The Dream that Inspired me to get back to my Blog )

It was because of this belief (or attitude), be it right or wrong, I could not surrender totally to the two masters (only) as my friends did.  I also felt resonance with these words that came from the masters (i.e. my guides, Master Kuthumi, and Quan Yin) through a well known channel some years back.  (Re Fall only into the divine emotion of love )

                      Stay in the center of yourself,
                      moving through with wisdom and courage
                      Standing in love,
                      listening to your intuition and psychic self,
                      and not those outside of yourself . . . .
                      Do not worship teachers outside of yourself
                      Seek wise counsel within self and listen,
                      and take faith in you know what you know . . . .
                      Let go of your human emotions of fear, anger . . . . 
                      Fall only into the divine emotion of Love, the Creative Force  

When the master healer was with us, we had discussions on different subjects.  Now my friends mainly talked about the books and their experiences of reading them.  Personally, I felt we could do more as a group.

In Is our thought a secret known only to ourselves?  I learned from my experiences that my thought might be known to others because intuition was (is) the language of the soul.  Therefore, I believed the spiritual teacher knew how I felt toward surrendering to the two masters.  I also understood that where I stood was known to the few that were close to the teacher from the way they looked at me.  As if to confirm that, this happened before I left the meeting.

I sat on a chair thinking if I would come again.  A distance away, Matthew was talking to someone that did not come regularly.  At one point, I sensed Matthew was looking in my direction.  Indeed, he was.  He said to that person, "Q of D (he mentioned my name) is higher than most of us.  If only she could let go of her judgment . . ." 

Since I stepped outside of my family, quite a few people had said things about me that I did not expect to hear.  "I am just like everybody else!"  That was how I saw myself as we were all equal and unique in nature. 

At home, I contemplated on what to do.  I saw how one heart and one mind my brothers and sisters were toward their mission of following the masters.  I did not want to be a divisive presence among them.  I decided it was better for the group to move forward without me.

I thought the spiritual teacher might not come in the summer since many in the group had gone to hear his discourses.  I was wrong.  And, it was the reason for my pause in my blogging.

Did I go to his discourses?

As the Queen of Dreams, what I finally chose to do had much to do with a dream.

I will continue to share with you my journey in my next post.

Love and Peace,
Q of D

I can go places and sit among people again!

Greetings!

We have finally bought another car!

                                            ~       ~       ~       ~       ~       ~

Most car dealerships here closed on Saturday and Sunday.  On regular weekdays, they closed at 6 p.m., but stayed open until 8 or 9 p.m. on Monday and Thursday.

On a Thursday, our son drove us to look for a car after he got off work.  I found online two car dealerships that had the cars I looked for and fitted my budget.  One car dealership was about half an hour away, and the other one was farther away.  The night before I had talked to my son that we would go to the dealership that was close to us.  I prayed for guidance on Thursday, and got that we should go to the one that was farther away.  My son was surprised when I told him the change of plan.

We left around 6 p.m.  There was a lot of cars on the road because many people were going home after work.  Seeing the traffic, I was somewhat concerned because this car dealership closed at 8 p.m.  Then a car with a 707 license plate appeared in the next lane.  I smiled because 707 had become an interesting number in my life.  As if to ease my mind or reaffirm me, a car with a 777 license plate appeared soon after.

The car salesman was nice and helpful.  When I told him the cars I was interested in, he went to look for the cars right away.  After test driving the cars, I liked the first one.  When we sat down to discuss the price, it was almost 8 p.m.  We promised to come back the next day.

The next day my husband and I drove the old car to the dealership.  (Our son had to go to work.)  Though the car had quite some problems, the warning chime had been quiet for the last ten days.  Amazingly, the warning chime "Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding!" came on when the used car dealership was in sight as if the car was saying goodbye.  I thanked the old car and the loving divine. 

Days later, I told my son why I went to that dealership (as I had mentioned, he was not into spiritual stuff).  He listened.  He said, "I am glad you got the car you liked."  I thanked him for driving us.  I looked up 707 and 777 in the Angel Numbers book.

707
You're working in perfect union with God the Creator.  Your willingness to trust, listen, surrender, and follow brings great miracles into your life.

777
Congratulations!  You've listened well to your Divine guidance and have put that wisdom into fruitful action.  You're now reaping the rewards.  Your success is inspiring and helping others, so please keep up the good work.

On August 12, I drove to the place that the psychic suggested.  (Re The psychic said, "You have to learn how to balance money." )  I found online the medium/healer that the psychic suggested for me to contact was the speaker that Sunday. 

I had not sat among people for almost four months.  As I sat down, I could feel strong healing energy poured into me and through me.  The speaker gave a good talk.  Near the end of the service, three mediums gave messages.  I was among those that received messages.  Most surprisingly, I believed it was from the master healer that moved on near the end of March.  When the service was over, I stood in line to shake hands with the pastor and the mediums.  No, I did not feel any connection with the medium/healer that I came to meet (at least at the time of this meeting).  As for the message, I did not quite understand why the master healer said what he said.

The drive back and forth was very smooth.  It was the first time I drove by myself since we bought the car.

                                            ~       ~       ~       ~       ~       ~ 

With the car, I can go places and sit among people again.  It is a very nice used car.  I am grateful.

Love and blessings,
Q of D 

 

The Dream of Lettuce

Greetings!

When The psychic said, "You have to learn how to balance money." (published July 14, 2018), I immediately thought she was wrong.  As she continued with the reading, I realized the advice that came through her was right.

Before I share my dream, I would like to talk about lettuce.  Cantonese is my mother language.  Many people that live in the southeastern part of China as well as people that live in other southeastern Asian countries know how to speak Cantonese.  The sound of lettuce in Cantonese was similar to the sound of growth in fortune, wealth or money.  In our Cantonese tradition, we often celebrate the Chinese New Year with a head of lettuce on the table to symbolize a new year of wealth and prosperity.  We use the leaves to wrap food.  People in other parts of China may have their own unique traditions.  The younger generation of Cantonese that speak only Mandarin, the official Chinese language, may not know the symbolic meaning of lettuce anymore.

                                            ~       ~       ~       ~       ~       ~

Setting - light, open space (i.e. without any structure or building). 

People lined up in single file before an old couple, a man and a woman.  There were two large baskets of fresh lettuce next to the old couple.  I was among the ones that stood in the front of the line.  It was a long line, and lots of people lined up behind me.  (We stood in space / air / on the clouds (?), and did not stand on the ground as on earth.)

Soon, it was my turn.  The kind, old man gave me a big head of lettuce.  I was somewhat surprised to receive such a big head of lettuce.  I thought others might need it more (urgently) than I did.  I handed the lettuce to the one standing behind me.  The old man gave me another head of lettuce.  I continued to pass heads of lettuce to those behind me thinking "let others have the lettuce first".  Then I was the only one left standing in front of the couple.  The baskets looked empty.  The old man bent down to pick up whatever was left.  It was a very small head of lettuce.  As he handed it to me, he looked at me and mildly swayed his head.

                                            ~       ~       ~       ~       ~       ~

Upon waking up, I thought, "Oh, how I acted in the dream was like the me in life."  Since lettuce symbolized wealth / money, I understood the old couple was handing out wealth.  The long line of people might represent those that had prayed for money or financial help.  In the last scene, the old man mildly swayed his head.  It might be he felt I should have accepted what he gave me earlier for there was then little lettuce left.  After the dream, I thought it was in character for me to do what I did in the dream, and did not look deep into what the dream was telling me.

                                            ~       ~       ~       ~       ~       ~                       

As I looked back at the dream, I realized it was my wrong view of money / abundance that I thought I should pass it to others first.  Divine abundance is limitless.  While I prayed for financial help, I was not open to receive.  I realized it was me that blocked myself from receiving the money I had prayed for.  The two baskets that looked empty at the end of the dream was but a reflection of my self-set limiting view of abundance.

Many years had gone by since the night I cried inside the car and my spirit guide said "Don't you know giving and receiving must be balanced?"  Many years had gone by since I had the dream of lettuce.  When it came to giving and receiving, I continued to live my life the way I had been.  Never before was a psychic fair within walking distance from where I lived.  It was no accident that I went to the fair and heard I had to learn how to balance money. 

Love and Peace,
Q of D

The psychic said, "You have to learn how to balance money."

Greetings!

In my last post What wisdom do I have? , I mentioned I only went to two spiritual gatherings in the last seven months.  I had wanted to be more active in 2018.  It did not turn out that way partly because of the problems with the old car.

In 2004, I suddenly announced it was time to buy another car, and we bought a used car on the same day.  My decision proved to be significant as things continue to unfold.  My mood was very different this time around.  At first, I thought it would be better to wait until the cold weather was over.  In May, I began to look up prices for used cars.  The prices were higher than I had expected.  Though I knew we needed another car, we had not gone to look for one so far.

                                            ~       ~       ~       ~       ~       ~

A while back, I learned about a psychic fair on the Internet.  It was held in a newly built hotel that was close to where I lived.  It was a half-day event that opened from noon to 5 pm.  Coincidentally, there was a conflict in the family the day before the fair.  Since the hotel was within walking distance, I decided to go there for a mini reading.  I wanted guidance as how to handle the situation.  I also wanted to know if we should spend more money fixing the old car or look for another one.

On that day, I walked to the hotel after 1 pm.  I was surprised the event was held in a small room with only 6 or 7 tables.  I did not expect it to be such a small event.  There were leaflets about different psychics on a table outside of the room, but some psychics did not come.  Only a few people had come to the fair.  Some psychics did not have a client yet.

In my previous readings, I spent lots of time asking about the well being of my loved ones.  Since this time I only wanted a mini reading, I intended to ask questions mainly concerning myself besides the car issue and the situation.  From the information online, I had chosen a psychic.  She was known for her ability and honesty in giving readings.  However, she was busy when I arrived.

It so happened there was one there that had come to the Thursday circle once.  We talked for a little while.  She asked to give me a reading.  I told her I preferred a psychic that had not met me before.  She did not get that I was saying "no", and went ahead to give me a reading.  She described my family such as the number of children and grandchildren I had.  It was probably her off day.  When her timing device sounded off, she wanted to continue.  I said I only wanted a mini reading.  I gave her the money.  Suddenly, she seemed to listen to something that came to her.  She asked me a question.  I was stunned.  I wondered "Why did she suddenly ask me such a question?  How did this question come about?"  Anyway, I answered "no" **.  She seemed puzzled.  She said, "Are you sure . . .?"  I said "no" again.  I thanked her and walked out of the room.  During the reading, I asked about the car.  She said I should buy another one.  I did not talk to her about the situation.  ( ** My answer was valid.  However, with the strange happenings in my life, only time would tell if there was any significance for me to hear that.)

Standing outside of the room, I thought, "Is that it? I come here for nothing!"  My English was limited.  I had difficulty listening and asking questions when I had readings by phone.  My grandchildren spoke English.  I could not catch every word they said when they talked to me over the phone.  I felt more at ease talking to others face to face.  I walked back into the room.  I did not want to miss the opportunity of talking face to face with the psychic that I had come for.

Two women were sitting in front of the psychic.  A woman that sat by the front desk asked if I wanted a reading by that psychic.  I said I wanted a mini reading.  She said other people had booked appointments with the psychic.  However, she knew the reading for the two women were almost over, and I could get a reading before another person arrived.

When I sat down by the psychic, she asked to hold my hands and said a prayer.  Right after that, she said, "You have to learn how to balance money."  I thought, "Why does she say I have to learn how to balance money?  I had always paid my bills on time no matter how difficult it was.  This shows that I can balance money!"  The psychic said, "You always want to give your money away.  You want to help others, yet you are not open to receive.  Don't you know giving and receiving must be balanced?"  Suddenly, she said one sentence about my husband.  I did not expect to hear that.  While I was pondering why she said that, she moved on to talk about money.  She said, "Keep the money that comes to you.  Don't give it to any one."  Then she said, "While you have to learn how to balance money, your son (older son) has to learn how to manage money."  She went on to describe his way of being.  Later, she said, "You know within that it is in divine order for you and your husband to live with your son."  (It was true.  That was why we moved to another state with him, but my husband did not have the same knowing.)  She said it was beneficial to the three of us (i.e. our son and us) for we could learn lessons in our relationship.  She affirmed that our son loved us as I had heard in other readings, and that he did pay attention to what I had to say.  The messages she related were the answers to the situation.  When I asked about the car, she said we should buy another car.  She paused for a while.  She said, "Oh, you are (here to be) a minister!"  Her words surprised me.  I did not have the mastery of language or qualification.  I said I did want to find a church that I would go to regularly.  I asked for her recommendation.  She mentioned a couple of Unity Churches.  I told her I was a healer.  I asked if there was a church that offered healing service.  She recommended a church and immediately used her phone to find the person that I should contact.

She gave me booklets about an upcoming spiritual gatherings in the other part of the state.  There would be known spiritual teachers and healers from other states.  She asked me to consider going there.  She was kind enough to talk to me longer than a mini reading.  Knowing others were waiting to be read, I thanked her and left.
 
A day later, she emailed me the name and contact number of the minister that was in charge of the healing service in that church.  Without a dependable car, I had as yet contacted the minister or visited that church.

The psychic was right about my attitude toward money as well as my son should learn how to manage money.  I was glad I went to the fair.  Though the answers might lie within, sometimes other's words helped to clear our mind.

                                            ~       ~       ~       ~       ~       ~

In my post Giving and Receiving Love Must Be Balanced (published on June 25, 2011) I wrote about the following incident that happened in the restaurant years.

Most of our business came from carry-out orders.  Customers picked up their orders and left.  A few regulars often left a tip.  I served all with love and respect.  I never took into account if they gave me tips or not.  One day, almost all the customers that came to pick up their orders left me a big tip.  They did not say a word.  They just looked at me with love and compassion.  While my husband was driving us home that night, I was overwhelmed with emotions.  Tears dripped down my face.  In my heart, I said, "I am grateful for their (customers) kindness, but what have I done to put myself in this pitiful position!"  I 'heard' a 'sigh', and my spirit guide said, "Don't you know giving and receiving must be balanced!" 

After the recent reading, I realized I continued to live in the same old pattern about money after the above incident that happened long ago.  Giving and receiving must be balanced was not only about love!  In retrospect, I had many dreams and experiences that should have caused me to examine my attitude toward money.  However, I failed to make a change in my life.

I will share with you some of the dreams and experiences in my next post.

Enjoy the summer!

Many blessings,
Q of D
 

What wisdom do I have?

Greetings!

While writing I gave myself a timeout because I could not stop laughing , I realized the recall of that particular incident was not by chance.  It was in truth an answer to a question that I said out loud one recent afternoon.

                                            ~       ~       ~       ~       ~       ~

One afternoon, I picked up a body, mind and spirit magazine that was stacked under a few of my notebooks.  I had gotten it a while back, but had not read it.  A long list of universal laws with brief explanation next to each law took up the first few pages of the magazine.  After glancing over the first few laws, I decided to skip those pages.  I knew myself.  I would forget most of the laws even if I read them.  I went on to read articles that I was interested in.

Later, I put down the magazine.

The list of universal laws came to my mind.  I did not know there were that many universal laws!  It showed how little that I knew.  Indeed, there were lots of spiritual stuff that I did not know.  In a way, it was good for me.  With not knowing, I listened with an open mind.  Since I followed the guidance to go among people in 2005, I had heard many interesting lectures, inspiring speeches and touching personal stories.  Sitting on the couch, I thought of the wonderful people that I had met over the years.  Some of them were very wise and knowledgeable in spiritual matters.

Suddenly, I remembered a recent gathering.  There were three facilitators.  Two were exceptional healers with different gifts and abilities.  One was a gifted channel that channeled universal wisdom from ascended beings and beings of other planets.  During the meeting, people asked for advice as well as a variety of questions on many subjects.  The facilitators were very knowledgeable.  They responded honestly and truthfully.  Some people answered the questions from their perspective too.

Since moving back to this state in 2012, I had been to their meetings 3 or 4 times.  They had meetings at least once a month.  I would love to be there more often, but the place of the meeting was not close to where I lived.  In the last seven months, my 2001 car had one problem after another.  Therefore, I had only gone to a couple of spiritual meetings in 2018.  (One of the gatherings was with another group).  Despite of the car problems, I had planned to drive there by myself.  It had rained during the night, and did not stop as the day came.  I decided to ask my son to take me there.  Though he had no interest at all in spiritual matters, he had always told me he was willing to drive me anywhere.  (The last time he went to a spiritual gathering with me was in June 2016.  Re Two Powerful Healers from Another State, The healer gave me a healing session and I asked to be a channel of healing, and I was )

My son dropped me off at that place.  He went to visit other places while I attended the gathering.

When I sat among other people, I often sat through the gathering without saying anything.  I only spoke up when I really had something to say or there was a strong prompting from within.  I had not said anything in my previous attendance with this group.  However, on this day, I felt the need to speak up.  For a brief while, I offered a different view by sharing an experience.

When the 2-hour gathering was over, I stood up to leave right away because my son might have come to pick me up.  Before I walked out of the door, a tall young man stopped me.  He said, "May I give you a hug.  What you said earlier was very, very good and deep.  Thank you."  We hugged.  I left.

What I shared briefly was but a personal experience in my simple words.  With the recall of this incident, I could not help but wondered aloud -

                                              What wisdom do I have? 

In fact, I had asked this question every now and then since my 2001 December reading.  The known angel channel said my guides and angels urged me to go among people, teach and share my wisdom.  I graduated from high school (not in USA).  I lived a simple life as a daughter, a wife and then a mother.  I struggled mentally and emotionally during the challenging restaurant years.  Many nights I sat in the dark with tears dripping down my face.  What wisdom did I have?  If I was wise, I should have been able to maintain my peace and handle life challenges with ease.

Then another scene came to my mind.  After a gathering was over, I left the building and walked toward my car.  A man walked to me.  He was in the gathering, and had talked quite a bit during the meeting.  Many in the gathering knew him, but it was the first time we met.  He said, "Earlier, you say you are not good in English.  You talk for a while during the meeting.  As you speak, I can feel the energy in your voice.  I want to tell you that your English is enough.  You should speak more for your words are powerful."

The man said my words were powerful.  It might be he felt the electricity in my voice as a few others had said after I spoke.  It reminded me of an incident that happened many years ago.  I was about to leave when a woman asked the spiritual teacher (a psychic) and a workshop facilitator about a physical condition that had been troubling her.  Something came to my mind.  I turned and said what I got.  The three of them exclaimed at the same time saying, "That is exactly what I need to hear today!"  Afterward, they looked at each other while I stood there feeling puzzled.  How could what I said be for all of them?  The psychic explained, "The three of us had different concerns in our mind.  It was in your voice that each one of us got what we needed to hear."  The woman and the facilitator nodded in agreement.  The workshop facilitator asked, "What is your name again?" 

On another occasion, a kind woman tried to teach me how to use the computer.  I said, "You had been a teacher for many lifetimes. That is why you are good at communication and teaching."  Upon hearing that, she broke down.  She cried for a long time.  Later, she talked to me about the deep sorrow she had held within since her parents passed away.  On the surface, what I said had nothing to do with healing, but she was able to release her pain as she cried.  (Re I saw no purpose of being there )

There might be something in my voice.  However, in my view of 'what wisdom is', my words were simple words, and had nothing to do with wisdom.  To me, wisdom was being wise, intelligent and knowledgeable.  I saw myself as a regular person living an ordinary life.  I was neither wiser nor more intelligent than others.  And, there was a lot that I did not know.

So there I was that afternoon sitting on the couch and wondering aloud "What wisdom do I have?"

                                            ~       ~       ~       ~       ~       ~     

On May 31, I woke up remembering the I gave myself a timeout incident.   I decided to share the experience.  As I was writing that post, the recall of the teacher's words was like a light bulb that went on in my head.  She said, "Be who you are.  Just be."  In readings, I had received similar guidance too.  I realized I had forgotten We are all much more than who we appear to be.  We were (are) embodiment and expressions of the divine.  However, I always looked at what happened from the standpoint as a human being, and forgot the truth that I AM.  (Click to view Who Smiles? Who Sees? )

In life, we all went through many situations and relationships.  I saw the value of sharing our insights or aha moments.  What we learned from an experience might help another person to look at his or her situation from another angle.  Other people's talks had inspired me, and it was in order that others might find my experience inspiring too.

The other day I read in a spiritual newsletter * that "many misunderstand wisdom as being wise and intelligent, but it is in the knowing . . ."  In other words, wisdom is within you and me for the Source of our being is all knowing.  In To forgive is first and most of all for the good of ourselves , I suddenly opened my mouth and said something I had not thought about.  What I said happened to be true, and brought about healing for a sister.  Indeed, the knowing was from within.  (* It is a newsletter with channeled messages from ascended masters and archangels.  The words I recalled might not be exact.)

We are all much more than who we appear to be .  Be who we are.  Just be.

Many Blessings,
Q of D

Why did I wake up hearing a song about Japanese food?

Greetings!

In the morning of May 17, I woke up hearing a piece of music.  It went on for a long time.  The music seemed cheerful and easy to hum along.  I knew I had heard it before, but I could not figure out the title of the song.  Later, I listened to some popular melodies on YouTube.  I did not hear a song with the same musical tunes.  I decided to let it go.

On June 12, I woke up hearing the same music again.  It seemed to be a lighthearted song.  What was the title of the song?  Why did I hear it for the second time?  This time I really wanted to know, but did not find a matching song.

On June 13, I used midomi.com and found out the title was Sukiyaki.  I had heard the song before I moved to USA.  I knew the title, but I knew nothing about its lyrics or what the song was about.  Upon learning the title, I thought, "Sukiyaki is a Japanese dish.  Why do I wake up hearing a song about Japanese food?"  When I finally listened to the song (with lyrics) on YouTube, I laughed at my assumption that the song was about Japanese food.  From the comments below the video, I learned the original title was I look up as I walk.  In the English version, there was another title You Took Your Love Away From Me.  I felt kind of funny and strange seeing the original Japanese singer sang the song with so much joy and cheerfulness.  It did not seem to correspond with the lyrics.  As I read more information about the singer, I understood it was his way of presenting songs.  (By the way, thanks to the creator(s) of midomi.com for helping me to find the title of the song.)

Why did I wake up hearing this music twice?  I did not know.  Yes, I often looked up at the sky as I took walks in the school field.  However, I was not in the mood as the lyrics described.  Life is mysterious.  I really could not come up with any logical reasoning for hearing the music upon waking up.

Well, I like the cheerfulness in the music.  All is good.

Peace,
Q of D

I gave myself a timeout because I could not stop laughing

Greetings!

The man's story in A marriage proposal in a fortune cookie made me laugh.  I published that post on May 30.  The next morning I woke up remembering an incident during which I gave myself a timeout because I could not stop laughing.  It happened 11 or 12 years ago.  I supposed it might be a prompting from my higher self / spirit guides / angels for me to share the experience.

                                            ~       ~       ~       ~       ~       ~

One day, the teacher said for us to practice reading cards.  Before we did, she asked us to close our eyes, focus and see if anything came to our mind.  We might see pictures (visions) in our mind eye.  We might hear sounds or messages.  We should quietly asked within for whom we should relate the information.  We got quiet as the teacher said.  

A short while later, A excitedly related her vision and said it was for G.  Upon hearing what A said, B said the vision could be for her.  Meanwhile, G confirmed the vision did not make any sense to her.  C got a message and said it was for H.  As H pondered on the message, J said the message might be for her because it answered what was on her mind.  The same thing happened after a third person related what she got.  Many of my friends at the circle were quite intuitive.  We had similar practice from time to time.  My friends were usually pretty amazing.  What happened this day had not happened before!  I felt like laughing because I found what unfolded before me was surprising and funny.  I tried hard to stop myself from laughing.  I did not want my friends to misunderstand me.  The unfoldment caught me by surprise, and I was not laughing at my friends. 

Afterward, the circle became very quiet.  A few seemed to be embarrassed.  No one volunteered to be the next one to say what she intuitively received.   

The teacher guided us to settle down and return to peace.  She took out a stack of cards.  She got off her chair, and went to stand a distance across from where she used to sit.  She said each one of us would have a turn to sit on her chair while giving readings.  She told us to shuffle the cards before we intuitively / randomly pick a card or two.  With the card (s) in our hands, we observed what came to our mind and related what we got to the right person.  The teacher said sometimes the information that came through was not necessary for just one person, and it could be for two people in the circle.  She asked if any one wanted to be the first one to sit on the chair and give reading.

Unlike other times, no one volunteered!  Every one sat there tensely.  The confusion that happened earlier might be the cause that no one wanted to step forward first.  A few among us were somewhat new to our circle.  Understandably, they were nervous.

At the time, I had become a regular in the circle.  My friends were very kind to me.  I felt comfortable to speak up every now and then.  Since I did not feel / see anything during meditation, I regarded myself not intuitive / psychic.  On a couple of occasions, I had surprised myself as well as others with the information that came through me.  Despite of this, I continued to think I was not intuitive.

The teacher asked again.  No one responded.  A few in the circle used to participate enthusiastically during practice.  However, this day everybody looked tense and nervous.

In my heart, I said, "Hey, my friends, lighten up!  We don't have to be that serious."  Suddenly, I broke out laughing.  Everybody was surprised.  I was too.  However, seeing the different looks of surprise on my friends' faces, I laughed even harder because the whole scenario seemed surreal and hilarious.  A couple of my friends began to see the funny side of what happened.  They laughed too.  I knew I had to leave the room for the circle to move on.  Still laughing, I managed to say "Sorry, I am going to give myself a timeout" before I rushed out of the room.

For quite some time, I stood outside of the center.  It might be hard to believe that I was in a joyful mood!  (It was probably how most people felt after a hearty laugh.)  I watched people come and go in the parking lot of the small strip mall.  If they happened to look my way, I greeted them with a smile.  I was peaceful.  Quiet joy filled my heart.

Later, I walked back inside to join my friends.  A friend immediately said to me, "Before you laughed, I was feeling very nervous.  Watching you laughed, my nervousness was gone.  Thank you."  Others also said they had fun practicing card reading afterward.  They were amazed at the messages and visions they got for each other.  A couple of friends went to sit on the chair after I came back inside.

Then the teacher said it was my turn.  I took the deck of cards.  I shuffled the cards.  After a few shuffles, I looked at the card that came up on the top.  Out of nowhere, I 'got' that the Mary Magdalene card was two cards below that card.  It was!  Quietly, I acknowledged the wonder of this happening.  When I focused on the card that I picked, I got that it was for two of my friends.  Right after I finished relating what I got, I stood up in a hurry.  I wanted to get off the chair as fast as possible because it had dawned on me that the teacher was going to ask me to stay on that chair! 

My intuition was right.  When I stood up to leave the chair, the teacher said, "Q of D, sit back down on the chair!"  I sat down.  The teacher said, "While you talk, I observe you look very comfortable sitting on that chair.  You are a spiritual teacher.  Be who you are.  Just be."  Feeling embarrassed, I wanted to get off the chair again.  The teacher asked me to remain sitting there until the closing of the circle.

                                            ~       ~       ~       ~       ~       ~

My friends had always said everybody was psychic because intuition was our innate ability.  (click to view Everybody is psychic, and you are too )  As spiritual seekers, we knew it was true.  Psychics / mediums / channels might seemed to be more attuned to their psychic ability than others, but it might be their path at this time (and/or earlier lifetimes).  We came into a lifetime with different focus and plans.  For instance, a woman might be here to learn to overcome her jealousy, and another woman had come to express her gift in arts.  A famous physicist passed away earlier this year.  When he was alive, he talked a lot about the end of time.  Now in spirit, he said through a channel that he was wrong.  It was really not easy to see the big picture while we were in our physical bodies.

When the incident came to my mind, I thought it was for me to share the experience.  As I continued to write, I realized it was an answer to a question I had in recent days as well as a reminder for me to let myself be.  

What was the question?  

I shall share with you in my next post. 

(Please click to view  What Wisdom do I have? published on June 21, 2018)

Love and Peace,

Q of D